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Bubba Wants My Cheddar

by IwoCPO on 01/17/07 at 07:40 AM ET
Comments (3)

I’ve decided the BJ’s can no longer be OUR NEW RIVAL.  I tried. For three weeks I tried. I worked up the hate, rallied the troops, lit the torches.  But despite my best efforts, I just can’t do it.

I can no longer hate the BJ.

But Bubba?  Bubba offers something you can’t deny.  Bubba brings us players we hate: Steve Sullivan, Little Paulie Kariya, Tomas Vokoun.  And he also brings an intangible that, as a blogger, I just can’t avoid: the opportunity to tastelessly rip their fan base.

But more than that, Bubba’s good. Bubba’s a threat to our happiness.  Bubba wants to steal my cheddar cheese. He wants to take the whole block of it.  I don’t like people who try to take my Central cheese.  In fact, and this may surprise you, but it harkens a Rocky III quote from the greatest Stallion opponent ever, Mr. Clubber Lang.

“I pity the fool who tries to take what I got.”

Clubber Lang said that.  Mike Babcock?  Well, he’s just a liar.

George Sipple/Detroit Free Press

“We know we play Nashville, don’t get me wrong,” Wings coach Mike Babcock said. “But I don’t think we concern ourselves with the standings. We concern ourselves with our team. Not their team.”

You don’t concern yourselves with the standings?  Well, you’d damn well better buddy.  Because that 4 spot looks bad. The 5 spot looks worse.  The only spot we want is the 2 or the 1. 

So in rides Bubba high atop his donkey, swigging his shine, taunting you.  He’s looking right at you in that baby-poop colored sombrero.  Bubba says the cheese is his, that he’s waited long enough.  Bubba says he not be big on the whole Phonics thing, but he’s better than you.  And Vokoun just irritates me. 

Pauk Kuharsky/Daily Tennessean

“They are right behind us, obviously a good offensive team and now good defensively too, so it’s going to be a good test for us,” Vokoun said. “ … It’s strange, you would think by now we would have played them more times. It’s going to be a battle to the end I think.”

Yeah. I think. 

Let me reiterate (that means repeat, Bubba) something:  we can’t have the 4. We can’t have the 5.  The 4 or the 5 means San Jose and San Jose means despair.  The 2? Today the 2 means AlanaH’s Canucks and the very idea of that makes me giddy (happy, Bubba). 

So, I’ve jettisoned the idea of the “hate the BJ” campaign.  It was fun.  It may return as early as this weekend.  But today, at the beginning of the six-gamer that will decide the Central and absolutely determine our playoff fate?  Gotta hate Bubba.

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Comments

I’d personally rather see the Wings not play a Western team in the first round. The only time they’ve made it out of the first round since 2002 was when they started against Nashville. I wouldn’t mind that so much again. It’d sure help the rivalry, even if it’d be a very tough series.

It won’t happen unless one of the two teams falls off, though. So, West Coast first round it is. Yay.

Posted by Matt Saler from Grand Rapids on 01/17/07 at 10:03 AM ET

Probably a good idea, IwoCPO.  Perhaps someday we’ll be able to put a hate-able product out on the ice.

At least… hate-able to those outside the 614 area code anyways.

Posted by Drew on 01/17/07 at 11:54 AM ET

Well, there are plenty of reasons to hate the Preds so I’ll jump on the bandwagon.  The fact that they have those horrible 3rd sweaters should be reason enough!

Posted by hockeychic on 01/17/07 at 02:48 PM ET

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