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Dumbest Team In Sports, Except For One Genius
by IwoCPO on 05/20/07 at 07:06 AM ET
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Jerry Green writes this morning that the Poultry could very well be the dumbest team in all of sports. I don’t know if I can agree with that. Yes, there is a strong possibility that they are startlingly stupid, up and down their roster. I’m not denying that. But, if you’re going to average IQ’s you have to know that chris pronger’s is going to move the median (mean?)(Thanks Baroque) northward.
Because he knows him some physics. That’s right. Dr. Sasquatch. The eccentric genius.
As you’ve seen and read by now, the Doctor says malice and utter idiocy had nothing to do with how he raised both hands and plastered Tomas Holmstrom’s head against the glass last Tuesday. A 4-0 deficit and a track record of stupidity played no part. It was a simple hockey play and an inevitable result.
“Of course, I’m going to hit him in the head,” Pronger said. “He’s quite a bit shorter than me. It’s just law of physics.”
I’m sure he meant “the” law of physics. Editorial error. The Doctor’s always being misquoted, misinterpreted, misunderstood. And that’s why he decided to impose a “media blackout.” Yep. The Doctor wasn’t talking. To you. To them. To anyone.
This is the same Pronger who walked through the Ducks locker room in suit and tie a half-hour after Game 4 but waved off interview requests.
“Media blackout,” Pronger said as he left the room, smirking. “You guys are all out of the loop—every one of you.”
That was after Game 4, a game he says he didn’t watch.
“I’m not real big on watching games at the best of times, especially when it’s Game 4 of the conference finals and you’re suspended. I didn’t watch a whole lot of the game, but I watched a little bit. It was tough. It’s mentally exhausting.”
Couldn’t have been that “mentally exhausting” Doctor, because despite watching only a “little bit,” you went on to say that the officiating in Game 4 was “an absolute joke.”
Obviously, it’s me. I don’t have the brain power to operate on that level, up there in the intellectual stratosphere with The Doctor. Because I just can’t follow him. He says physics caused the hit on Homer. He imposes a media blackout, then can’t shut the hell up to anyone with a mic or a pen. He says he didn’t watch Game 4, then blasts the officials for the way they called a game he claims he didn’t see.
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That’s just brilliant. “It wasn’t me! It was Science!” I’ve always despised that cement-headed moron, and here’s hoping he picks up some more stupid penalties today (preferably without crippling someone, of course). Better still would be if Bertuzzi gets hungry and decides to eat him.
Posted by Matt from Tennessee on 05/20/07 at 08:54 AM ET
You were right the second time—it’s mean.
And if just watching is exhausting, how can he manage to play 30 minutes a game without keeling over—or getting a case of the vapors? Poor tired baby.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/20/07 at 08:58 AM ET
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Talk about subtle jabs, Jerry employs a bit of his own…
nice
Posted by Hoser from Downer Peninsula, Michigan on 05/20/07 at 08:36 AM ET