Abel to Yzerman
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by IwoCPO on 01/14/09 at 09:35 PM ET
Comments (346)
Hugely important evening in our world.
The gutters have been overflowing the last few weeks with your obscenity and grade-school humor. How could a family-oriented, well-intentioned, mild-mannered hockey blog turn into something so immature, so reeking of juvenistickidness?
I just don’t know.
Tonite, you begin the process of electing your champion. Watch the remarks closely, stay awake, don’t pass out drooling on your keyboard (Osrt)...and make your recommendations along the way for the five comments we’ll vote on tomorrow.
It’s a Live Blog bitches. A big, fat, west coast live blog.
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Comments
I want some roasted bird tonight. And I want it charred black, so beaten to crap that it would make a good soccer ball for the boys to play with during their game-day activities. Or the Sasquatch’s head. I’m not picky.
I want “Giggy’s” V to be used and abused. Then tossed to the curb where it belongs.
I want domination. Humiliation.
I want Pav to school Sasquatch so bad he elbows himself in the head. Then I want him to try and run Pav, only to be sent flying to the emergency room because Pav just caved his chest in.
I hate the friggin Poultry.
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 01/14/09 at 09:41 PM ET
Bring on the Poultry, Bitches.
Nothing like a back-to-back west coast whistle stop tour to get my liver ready for the playoffs! Thanks.Gary.Ass, etc, etc
I sure hope Gabe is here tonight to deliver some words of warmth!
Posted by The Hurricane on 01/14/09 at 09:41 PM ET
I understand ducks have some sort of “V” formation.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 01/14/09 at 09:42 PM ET
I understand ducks have some sort of “V” formation.
Would that make Sasquatch the clitoris?
Posted by The Hurricane on 01/14/09 at 09:44 PM ET
I understand ducks have some sort of “V” formation.
Would that make Sasquatch the clitoris?
Nah, he’s not sensitive enough. I’d place him a little more to the back.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 01/14/09 at 09:45 PM ET
Would that make Sasquatch the clitoris?
More like some kind of discharge.
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/14/09 at 09:46 PM ET
If you ever meet a woman with a clitoris as big and angry as Pronger, then I have bad news for you brother. That’s no woman.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/14/09 at 09:47 PM ET
Nice to see we’ve achieved mid-second period level of conversation twenty minutes before faceoff. This should be monumental.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 01/14/09 at 09:48 PM ET
Goodevening, bitches.
I’m not sure what the “offical” A2Y birthday win/loss is.
All I know is that today is my birthday, we are playing the ducks and I would realiy like a win. Like last time. It would make me happy.
Here’s to 26, I hope it’s a hell of a lot better than 25 (no more months like Feb last year).
Also, happy about the best comment selection idea. I don’t post that much..and when I do it is usually drunken blather or is miss-spelled thanks to my easy crutch, the iPhone keyboard. Either way the commentary of games provided by the live blog is the closest I have to sitting in a room full of Wings fans. That makes me happy.
And with that I must say…
LET’S GO RED WINGS!!!!!!!!!
Posted by eyesris from Chestertown, MD on 01/14/09 at 09:49 PM ET
Home and away feeds on center ice tonite. I’m assuming Mickey didn’t make the trip so I’m guessing drunk-ass Murph with Ken.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 01/14/09 at 09:49 PM ET
I’m reminded, somehow, of the beef jerky commercials featuring the sasquatch. Somehow the imagery seems appropriate.
Posted by The Hurricane on 01/14/09 at 09:50 PM ET
If you ever meet a woman with a clitoris as big and angry as Pronger, then I have bad news for you brother. That’s no woman.
That, J.J., is what we call a Claude.
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/14/09 at 09:50 PM ET
Hmm, I might give Perry the nod for being the clitoris on the Ducks’ V. He does go beserk every time he gets touched inappropriately.
And to think of past experiences, you could say Sasquatch and the crappier Neidermayer Rob are the vaginal walls. They closed in and enveloped Homer’s head with their elbows back in ‘07.
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 01/14/09 at 09:52 PM ET
I understand ducks have some sort of “V” formation.
Would that make Sasquatch the clitoris?
Nah, he’s not sensitive enough. I’d place him a little more to the back.
he’d be the ass hole....flying about 10 feet back.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/14/09 at 09:53 PM ET
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Q-hVJiv_E
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 01/14/09 at 09:54 PM ET
he’d be the ass hole....flying about 10 feet back.
Precisely.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 01/14/09 at 09:54 PM ET
Happy birthday, Eyesris. Should you ever happen to be in Greenwood on the night of a Wings game, we’ll have to get together. I miss having other Wings fans to watch games with. A majority of people I’ve met in SC don’t know a damned thing about hockey. One girl I dated even thought that hockey pucks were frozen before the games so that they wouldn’t melt. That relationship never stood a chance.
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/14/09 at 09:56 PM ET
Too bad we won’t get to see Emo Selanne.
He was too busy cutting himself.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/14/09 at 09:56 PM ET
Looks like every one is in rare form. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 01/14/09 at 09:56 PM ET
Hey Kate. Were you referencing a story earlier today when you said Holland said changes were coming?
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 01/14/09 at 09:59 PM ET
One girl I dated even thought that hockey pucks were frozen before the games so that they wouldn’t melt.
Ouch. That’s a mastadonic level of idiocy.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 01/14/09 at 09:59 PM ET
You’re not kidding, Nate. I thought she was making a joke at first. Not the case. I can understand not knowing the game, but to think that rubber melts at room temperature? Dumb dumb dumb.
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/14/09 at 10:01 PM ET
Anyone have a better feed than the adhe.i’mtoolazytotypeouttherest.com feed?
It seems to be a bit slow to start off. Freezing every 20 seconds or so.
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 01/14/09 at 10:02 PM ET
Apparently all this snow and cold clogs up the tubes along with the roads. Guess I’m goin with radio until i get some net speed back. Bastards.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 01/14/09 at 10:03 PM ET
Alzy, here’s an alt feed.
http://www.hockeywebcasts.com/scgames/20090114a.php
They were showing the Pens/Caps game when i was getting at least choppy speed, but should be showing the Wings.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 01/14/09 at 10:04 PM ET
That’s strange, Alzy. I’m on Vista with cable broadband and it’s fine. When it gets skippy like that, I just clear the cache and reboot.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 01/14/09 at 10:05 PM ET
Ah, good thinking SYF. I’ll give that a try as well.
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 01/14/09 at 10:06 PM ET
It seems to be a bit slow to start off. Freezing every 20 seconds or so.
atdhe.net has been doing that to me a lot lately. there are two feeds listed on their main page so maybe try the other one.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/14/09 at 10:07 PM ET
Later, A2Y! I’ll catch you guys on the flipside. Good luck, Alzy.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 01/14/09 at 10:08 PM ET
Clemshady - good to know. Me and the lady moved to SC a few months ago.... looking to move away from the current area. Not sure to where yet.
Thanks!!
LET’S GO RED WINGS!!!!!!
Posted by eyesris from Chestertown, MD on 01/14/09 at 10:09 PM ET
I see that some of you are discussing the nature of the “Pronger” as a perineal or pubic abnormality. Well, not to boast, but I actually teach Pathology. I must say that I have never passed up an opportunity to educate, especially when the public health is at stake. Look if you dare, bitches. I give you the “Pronger”: 
This, by the way, an be removed with a CO2 laser...or a well placed CCM Vector V08 stick blade.
Also, no...that’s not an octopus you smell.
Posted by VikingDoc from Southern Shore of Lake Erie on 01/14/09 at 10:09 PM ET
Caps over the Pens 6-3
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from upset when blogs dont live up to my expectations on 01/14/09 at 10:10 PM ET
Is Pronger dead yet?
Posted by Matt from Royal Oak on 01/14/09 at 10:11 PM ET
Aww, was the “smoothest skater in the league” not able to keep up with little Pavel?
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 01/14/09 at 10:12 PM ET
I don’t know about anyone else, but I wouldnt mind seeing more of that Pronger picture…
Posted by Matt from Royal Oak on 01/14/09 at 10:14 PM ET
I was watching that Caps/Pens game. The verbal hatred for Ovechkin from the Penguins homers was fun to listen to.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/14/09 at 10:14 PM ET
Is it just me or does it sound like Murph started drinkin’ based on an EST time clock?
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/14/09 at 10:15 PM ET
I can’t stand Crosby. I used to hate Ovechkin after his showing in the WJC in 02 (or was it 03) against the US, but I think he’s grown up and I respect the hell out of him.
Posted by Tuba Guy from Royal Oak, MI on 01/14/09 at 10:16 PM ET
“as Kopetsky was sent flying..” mandatory that we hear that at least three or four time per game.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 01/14/09 at 10:16 PM ET
No Matt, a flying V with a penis sticking out of it is a sad, sad thing to see.
Posted by calquake on 01/14/09 at 10:16 PM ET
<object width="512" height="296"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/jkfUg8Un6z7cTNg6SKeDfw"></param></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/jkfUg8Un6z7cTNg6SKeDfw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" width="512" height="296"></embed></object>
This was amazing!
Posted by Tuba Guy from Royal Oak, MI on 01/14/09 at 10:17 PM ET
http://www.hulu.com/watch/53001/saturday-night-live-digital-short-doogie-howser-theme
this was the best thing I’ve seen in ages…
Posted by Tuba Guy from Royal Oak, MI on 01/14/09 at 10:18 PM ET
I’ll watch every game I can when AO plays, he can light it up across the board and run ya through the boards too. He’s fun to watch.
Even better when it’s a beat down of Garys Baby Boy & Houdini.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/14/09 at 10:19 PM ET
I’m pretty sure the Ducks are slowing down when Pav’s out there ...just to make him look fast.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from upset when blogs dont live up to my expectations on 01/14/09 at 10:19 PM ET
I’m pretty sure the Ducks are slowing down when Pav’s out there ...just to make him look fast
Nah, it’s the wind in there. Douche Canoe would confirm if he were there.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/14/09 at 10:21 PM ET
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Evening, bitches. Looking forward to seeing if Ozzie can keep up his level of play and if Pronger can keep up his level of douchiness.
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/14/09 at 09:38 PM ET