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“Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…”
by IwoCPO on 07/19/07 at 03:40 AM ET
Comments (16)
My only concern is that it’s early in the morning and I may not be prepared to give this story the treatment it deserves. I’m going to try, but I have to tell you that I’m a little nervous right now. Tooling around the Wing blogs and I just be-bopped over to Behind the Jersey. What do I find? A frigging goldmine. Gather the kids. Warm the milk. Find that John Denver cd you keep handy for special occasions and pop it in. Because we have, that’s right, fun for the whole family.
It seems that I was born to write these two sentences: a cross-dressing male prostitute was arrested yesterday in Denver. According to various reports uncovered by Deadspin, Police described Darren Garcia as being 27, having long hair, significant amounts of makeup and wearing…
...a Colorado Avalanche jersey.
Thank you god.
In the interests of bringing you every bit of information on this breaking story we’re culling all sources and leaving no stone unturned. First...the facts.
Marilyn Robinson, in a story “special to the Rocky Mountain News”, reported the disturbing details late yesterday.
According to a police probable-cause statement, officers were running a sting Thursday night because of community complaints when an undercover officer stopped at East Colfax Avenue and Josephine Street. Garcia climbed into the officer’s car and offered to perform a sex act for $30, police said.
Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey, according to authorities.
Disturbing. In Wambaugh-like fashion, Robinson gives us a point-by-point description of the sting, the chase, the take down and the startling background on young Mr. Garcia. Vivid descriptions jump off the page. AIDS, previous arrests, hastily applied cosmetics. Shocking details.
Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…
According to the A2Y investigative team, tidbits of info are trickling in to our Denver office. We have, we believe, enough to take you to the next level of this story. It goes back more than a decade and the fact that our late breakers were able to string it all together in just a few hours is almost beyond comprehension. The story of their investigation is almost as compelling as the tale itself. And it started with one key phrase…
Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…
Thankfully, the Denver PD was quick to release Garcia’s lineup photo...because the moment this image hit the wire, A2Y staffers were scrambling into the archives.
Through highly technical, advanced satellite imagery techniques, we were confronted with two very real possibilities. (1) Mike Ricci had returned to Denver, or (b) someone else had come full circle and the piper required payment.
Who is that someone, you ask?
This someone.
I told you. Disturbing.
We can now report with a high degree of certainty, in a story exclusively uncovered by the A2Y investigative team, that the infamous “Av Skank of ‘96” has resurfaced and is now described in this fashion.
Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…
That’s right, after an exhaustive 11-year search, she/he’s been located. The “fan” parked behind the Detroit bench in 1996, object of Wing fan disdain the world over, the woman who we now realize is actually a man, has finally been taken into custody. Inside sources at the Denver PD tell us her personal effects did not include the original sign she carried that Spring night in ‘96 or the crayons used to craft it.
Darren Garcia. Denver resident. 27 and in jail today.
Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…
Disturbing.
Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
Tags: Transvestite+Avalanche+Fans,
Comments
Knowing you’ve read it Thomas, it’s even funnier. Let us know if you need help raising bail.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 07/19/07 at 04:21 AM ET
“Garcia climbed into the officer’s car and offered to perform a sex act for $30, police said.”
‘Dive” fans keep diving, on and off the ice…
Posted by w2j2 on 07/19/07 at 07:41 AM ET
I knew you’d make the story even funnier. It gave me a good laugh yesterday and you’ve made me laugh again today as I sit in a computer lab at school studying German.
Posted by Christy from Ann Arbor, MI on 07/19/07 at 08:09 AM ET
It’s gotta suck to be a dive fan…
Posted by cementslinger from Midland MI on 07/19/07 at 08:37 AM ET
So in ‘96 he (she/it??) was a 16 year old, already cross-dressing, and able to afford behind the bench tickets to the WCF game?? Sorry to burst your bubble IWO but I think thats kind of doubtful though the gods know how much I would enjoy if it were true. Still damn funny though!
Posted by Dahrken from Grand Rapids, MI on 07/19/07 at 09:48 AM ET
I believe the problem here is that, in all of the post-arrest confusion, the police released the wrong mug shot. The Denver PD has apologized to Mr./Ms. Garcia and is reluctantly sharing both before and after photos of the perpetrator’s true identity.
I guess now we know why Kenny passed on that signing. 
Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 07/19/07 at 10:15 AM ET
I’m impressed with the Denver PD.
How’d they nab the right cross-dressing male prostitute in an Avs jersey? DNA?
Posted by HockeyinHD on 07/19/07 at 10:41 AM ET
So in ‘96 he (she/it??) was a 16 year old, already cross-dressing, and able to afford behind the bench tickets to the WCF game??
Hey, $30 went a lot farther back in ‘96...especially for dive tickets!
Plus, it’s obvious from the look on his face that the guy on her/his right is either her/his a.) “rich uncle,” b.) sugar daddy, or c.) rest stop romance.
Finally, RE: the age issue, I say why let a little thing like reality stand in the way of the much larger truth stated so well by cementslinger…
It’s gotta suck to be a dive fan…
Posted by YzermanZetterberg from Saginaw, MI on 07/19/07 at 10:56 AM ET
While none of us are really surprised that the Dive’s fan base are primarily crossdressing, AIDS-ravaged prostitutes, this reminded me of something HockeyinHD once said:
So, Dive fans can pretend to take whatever degree of solace they want in just making the playoffs, or only missing by a little, or whatever cockamamie bit of ham and slam logic they’ve cooked up for themselves, because at the end of the day (or season) they’re just putting lipstick on their 5 o’clock shadowed transvestite of a franchise.
That statement needs a fat man and a tree, ‘cause it feels like Christmas every time I read it.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 07/19/07 at 01:39 PM ET
Ohh god i’d forgotten that one!! Thank you for bringing it to the forefront of our memories Gabriel… how fitting!
Posted by Dahrken from Grand Rapids, MI on 07/19/07 at 01:57 PM ET
HockeyinHD asks, “How’d they nab the right cross-dressing male prostitute in an Avs jersey? DNA?”
Dude. You’re assuming there’s only ONE of them?
Downtown Denver has DOZENS of them, and don’t even get me started talking about BOULDER.
Yep. Every day is a great day not to be an Avs fan. But TODAY is a PARTICULARLY great day not to be an Avs fan.
Posted by Chris from Born in Detroit, exiled in DC on 07/20/07 at 08:37 AM ET
I hate to say it but most of the wings fans I have sat around would love to pick up on something like that. If only we had something that good looking here in detroit to choose from.
Posted by Redwindsway from Detroit on 07/20/07 at 10:50 AM ET
Jose Three-or-Four
Posted by O-Joe on 04/26/08 at 03:19 PM ET
HTF did I get in this thread?
Oh, well.
Hah, JoeSay blows.
Posted by O-Joe on 04/26/08 at 03:23 PM ET
what an amazing story...What a great day to be a Wings fan!!! 5-1 blowout and then I read this!
Posted by yzer19man from Detroit on 04/27/08 at 03:13 AM ET
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Probably seemed a lot funnier in your head, I would imagine.
Posted by Thomas on 07/19/07 at 04:10 AM ET