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Good Point, But You’re Stupid
by IwoCPO on 02/18/08 at 01:22 PM ET
Comments (13)
Vartan Kupelian used to cover the Wings for the Detroit News. Now he’s a golf writer, for the most part. But that doesn’t stop him from lending us his genius analysis of the current slide.
The same offensive players that were so dominant—Henrik Zetterberg, Pavel Datsyuk and a few of the others—aren’t being allowed to luxury of extra space to perform their magic tricks.
Bigger, stronger opponents—playing with greater intensity and passion—are preventing the Wings from enjoying the same scoring opportunities.
The operative phrase there is “bigger, stronger.”
All decent points, despite the fact that they’re a re-hash of the NBC Wing Roast yesterday. Still, Vartan seems to be heading toward a stirring conclusion. Until he hits a self-imposted road block…
It was particularly interesting that Johan Franzen—the Moose—was singled out by coach Mike Babcock for playing an outstanding game against Dallas. Franzen had six of the Wings’ 28 shots.
Woops. Guess there goes the credibility, eh Vartan?
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Comments
Is there a big difference between a moose and a mule?
Yes. COMPLETELY different orders; a moose is a deer, and an even-toed ungulate (Order Artiodactyla) and a mule is a cross between a donkey and a horse, both odd-toed ungulates (Order Perissodactyla).
Of more relevance; mules are noted for their endurance and ability to withstand harsh conditions, as well as being very hard workers and steady enough for even inexperienced handlers. (Horses can be incredibly skittish.)
Both are ornery and start with an “m” though, so they are practically the same animal. 
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 02/18/08 at 01:44 PM ET
Isn’t Johan Hedberg nicknamed Moose?
Maybe all those dang Europeans look the same to Vartan.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 02/18/08 at 01:45 PM ET
Hmm...Kopecky is 6’3” 220 lbs. I guess he’s a pretty “small” fella, too.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 02/18/08 at 02:18 PM ET
Hedberg is indeed nicknamed “Moose.” It stems from his playing days with the Manitoba Moose. When he got his start in the NHL, he hadn’t had a chance to get a new goalie mask, and wore his mask from the Moose in games. Fans started calling him “Moose” at games, and the name stuck.
His current mask looks like this. This picture isn’t dialup-friendly.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 02/18/08 at 02:30 PM ET
I’m thinking more along the lines of Joe Camel than Johan Moose, but thanks for the tip, Alan.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the jazz concert at the pool hall...smooth... on 02/18/08 at 02:37 PM ET
Franzen - the moose. That is too funny. Way to flush your credibility in short order.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 02/18/08 at 02:52 PM ET
Maybe all those dang Europeans look the same to Vartan.
You may be right Baroque—or maybe Kupelian attended the same school as Don Cherry!!
Did anyone else catch his bigoted rant on HNIC Saturday. He claims the Leaf suck because most of their roster is non-Canadian. He must conclude then that the Wing suck too!!! All based on the fact that the roster has too many Euros playing.
EGAD!!! What an ass, not a mule!!
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 02/18/08 at 05:01 PM ET
Baroque you have done it again! Expanded my horizons as it were. I come here to read up on hockey and wind up spending 15 minutes on Wikipedia reading about “even-toed ungulates” vs “odd toed ungulates”. FYI, for the voyeurs in the crowd there is a nice foto of the Right-rear foot of a Masai Giraffe on the entry page.
My brain hurts, back to you Chief!
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 02/18/08 at 05:02 PM ET
Should I label my biological comments with a warning?
I didn’t mean to cause anyone a brain sprain. After I hit submit I thought I should have typed hoofed mammals, but I figured these guys are pretty smart - and if wikipedia isn’t enough, I hope they know by now that I don’t bite if asked for clarification.
(Maybe take the heads off a couple of coworkers, but that’s different. They deserve it.) 
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 02/18/08 at 05:31 PM ET
and a mule is a cross between a donkey and a horse
That just goes to show how little I know. All this time I was thinking that Vartan was a cross between a mule and a horse…
Posted by BobTheZee on 02/18/08 at 07:51 PM ET
Nope. Vartan is 100% pure horse’s arse.
Posted by YzermanZetterberg on 02/19/08 at 01:04 AM ET
Vartan is Armenian and that means a lot. But the worst part is he’s stupid.
Posted by Hawk from Moscow, Russia on 02/19/08 at 03:35 AM ET
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Got to love this part…
Is there a big difference between a moose and a mule?
Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 02/18/08 at 01:33 PM ET