LOGIN | REGISTER | RSS FEEDS

Abel to Yzerman

Is Your Tummy Ok?

by IwoCPO on 04/25/08 at 07:34 PM ET
Comments (0)

I’m not sure I’ve made myself clear on this issue, so maybe it’s time I expanded just a bit on my feelings for Dive “fans”.  We’ll get to that, as usual. But first…this.

I don’t care if Forsberg’s hurt, Wolski’s done, Jose 3 or 4 has himself case of the runs. None of that matters. Actually, it does matter. It makes me happy.

You see…I’m not proud.  No sir.  I’ll take a victory any way I can get it.  And when the Wings win, which providence and sweet baby Jesus dictate they will, I’ll look back at those ailments and I’ll giggle like a school girl.  I’ll read the excuses from Gobble and Shane and the hyphenated guy.  I’ll read them with joy in my heart.  Because, you must understand, their anguish warms me.  Does that make me “angry” as Gobbles said earlier today?  No.  Does it make me “mean”? Oh, sure. I guess.  But more than that, it makes me a Wing fan and that’s a status I can easily revel in.

Wait.  A hot one.  Live, local and late breaking.  Anybody see this from The Delicate Genius this morning?

Nor will this be a series of nostalgia. Detroit and Colorado have not faced each other in the playoffs since 2002, when the Wings won in seven and took their last Stanley Cup. In those days, as in the ‘90s, the Wings-Avs rivalry could have been subtitled “There Will Be Blood.”

Could have been?  It was Mitch.  Yesterday.  Whatever. I’m sure it was just a coincidence.  Mitch’s journalistic credibility speaks for itself. I’m not one to question it.

Back to the Dive and their injuries.  Floppa’s got a groin.  Wolski’s done, good on ya Mule.  And poor, poor JoeSay.  Here’s a newsflash: he got beat, sick or healthy.  The bluster you’ve read all day from the Dive defenders in the comments?  Exactly that. Bluster.  Look at the 3/4 situation in one of two ways and either one is sickening for the Denver “fans” who haven’t leapt off the wagon yet.  JoeSay was sick? Great.  Use that alibi if it helps you sleep tonite.  All it means is that the Wings absolutely peppered a sick goalie instead of a healthy one.  Eat some Saltines buddy because they’re coming again tomorrow.  Second?  Dumbass Joel let a sick goalie convince him that he was healthy enough to play.  Think Uncle Mike would have allowed that to happen?  Not a chance. 

Oh, that’s right. Denver looked better with Budaj in goal.  What a relief for the Ass Can constituents.  Focus on that if you’d like.  But, in between latte sips and Dr. Phil riveting monologues, you may want to consider the fact that the Wings owned them in the first, and shut them down throughout the third until the last 8 seconds.

Oh, the injuries. The injustice of it all.  Floppa’s questionable.  Wolski’s out.  I feel almost guilty that the Wings have a lead. 

Woops, no I don’t.  Not a bit.  We could beat an entire team of Hershey Bears and I’d be giddy.  I don’t care what the circumstances are, which alibis exist.  It doesn’t matter.  All that counts is the win, three more of them.  Three more wins that guarantee an unsettled summer for the few who actually care about that team.  Yeah, I read the comments.  I saw the note about letting it all go after the Dive lose, taking a deep breath, “turning the tube on” watching the rest of the playoffs.  Good deal. Set your DVR for Dallas/Detroit game 1.  I’ll drop you a note and remind you.

Speaking of injuries.  Here’s the anti-digger.

The injuries to Forsberg (groin) and Wolski (upper body) could be devastating for the Avalanche.

Good god.  What I’d give for a series featuring two healthy teams.  Please let me see a matchup where injuries don’t affect the outcome.

Or don’t.  Let the Dive fall, one by one, and watch the wins roll in.  Injured. Healthy. I simply don’t care.  Pre-fab excuses are for losers and they’ll be barreling down the pike soon enough.

Newsflash: Barry Melrose would be happy if the Wings lost. 

Dateline: Hockey Night In Canada radio this afternoon.  Melrose analyzing each series.  Looking at Game 1, which he claims he watched from stem to stern, Barry says the Dive have to be happy with their effort in Game 1.  They’re fortified by a one goal playoff loss.  Osgood looked “shaky”.  Ryan Smyth is playing the best Barry’s seen him all year. 

Excellent.  MSM predictions have no place here, and you haven’t seen a link to a single one.  Screw them all. 

Yesterday:  Lilja is a disaster, an absolute disaster.  Penalty laden, slow, scattered in his own end.  If this series goes six, Lilja will have a part in it and it won’t be positive.

Woops.  Look out.  Uncle Mike’s got a weapon and he’s not on the top line.  His name is Franzen and he’s on fire again.  Man, what to do Dive?  Better stick him and stick him good because while you were fighting for your 8 seeded lives in March he was owning the league.  I’m just sayin.

Osgood.  Did he steal Game 1?  Nope. Well, yeah, he kinda did.  With John-hyphen-Michael-hyphen Liles bearing down with a tie game on his stick, there was Osgood lining him up.  Was he brilliant? No.  A victor and a goalie who prevented overtime? Yes.

Stop.  Slow.  Settle.  Let’s talk the difference between Dive “fans” and you, the A2Y 19. I could describe it, but I’m 5 beers in and i’m thinking our guy Lilja4ever might have a much more elooquent statement.

You’re not a fan.  You’re not even a supporter.  People like you make me sick to my stomach.  You instigate me.  People like you weren’t born into a sport.  Not born into a sports jersey.

You weren’t born into an Avalanche jersey – unless, of course you are fifteen, which does not seem that unlikely when you think about it for a minute.  You have no idea what it means to live and die with the team you were brought up to love.  Yes, I said love.  Something you’re probably more comfortable with using in the company of other fifteen year old neighborhood boys.

What you don’t understand is that a real fan doesn’t just turn off the TV and “swear a bit” then “sulk around the house”.  A real fan doesn’t “wake up, turn on the tube … and get ready for more hockey”.  It’s over right there and then.  When you lose, you stop living for a moment.  Time almost stops and it’s as if you hear your parents, grandparents and ancestors — yes those other people, fans long before we were born — turn over in their graves.  As a Dive, by default these are things you will never understand.

Speaking of A2Y geniuses waging war with the Denver whiners who descended on us in force today, yes Nate, I read and watched all day.  The juvenile behavior that would offend most 39 year old responsible male adults?  It warmed me.

Dive commenters: a note.  You are always welcome, especially on off days when the stress starts to build, but I have a word of advice.  Criticism of our immaturity, our juvenility, is just a lost cause.  Understand your audience before you start slinging ill informed barbs.  Stick around, but understand that we have a full repertoire of childish insults we haven’t even used yet.  There is very little shame in our approach, particularly during the playoffs.  Don’t be sad.  Just be prepared.  And, really, “jibble”?  Did you actually thing we wouldn’t jump all over that?  It could have happened in November, but the playoffs are much more fun.  “Gobble” is so much more appropriate.

PaulinMiami made mention of something interesting yesterday.  He hinted around at the fact that even if the Wings lose in the Cup final, a victory over Denver would make the summer so much less painful.  I thought about that sentiment for a great part of today.  I happen to agree.  Wings beat Colorado then lose to Dallas or Pittsburgh?  Tragic, yes.  But, still…that second round victory and the guarantee of the pain it caused in Denver?  Not a bad consolation.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

Be the first to comment.

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Get the top online sports betting bonuses available to sports betters!