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Jonas Brothers Declare Blues Fans As Official “BFFs”
by IwoCPO on 08/18/08 at 08:35 AM ET
Comments (50)
Good morning. Hello. Spent the last eight days in the mountains of North Carolina and I appear before you a dumber man today than I was the last time we spoke.
Now...hold on. Has my brain slowed due to more than a week of exposure to the good folk of NC? It’s logical that you may think so.
But that’s not it.
In fact, my time amongst the Carolinians (not a single one of them had any idea who the Hurricanes were, by the way) was pleasant. The drive back to DC Saturday? That’s where the dumbing down began. Ten hours on the road. No radio reception. Sirius receiver back at home. With only one CD in the player and three shreiking daughters demanding that we listen to it again and again.
And again. I now have all thirteen ditties, every one of them, from the Jonas Brothers new album bouncing through my skull. It’s all mixed together. Pre-adolescent male voices singing about teenage angst. I’m literally scarred.
But the constant whining, the sobs and the screeching featured on every track did serve one valuable purpose. I now remember what it’s like to be in a room full of Blues fans. And that brings us to our second installment of the Official A2Y Rivalry Depth Chart. St. Louis is next. Look for it around noon.
In the meantime, feel free to bring me up to speed on what I’m sure has been an amazing ten days of hockey news. I assume, to start, that Mats Sundin finally retired, deciding after an entire summer that toying with three Canadie(a)n teams was just too boring; and that Gary Bettman’s been fired and immediately elected the mayor of Detroit.
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Comments
Don’t denigate yourself for coming back to work dumber than when you left. That wasn’t believed possible.
I’ll keep that in mind as I ponder the meaning of “denigate”.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 08/18/08 at 10:06 AM ET
Good job blowing up the Canes; You were in the Mountains of NC? and you polled everyone in the State of NC and found out none of them know who the Canes are. You have to love people who smack talk in a blog after visiting a place and deeming “nobody knows who the Hurricanes are”. Completely idiotic, and just so you know, you were on the wrong side of the state.Clear on the other side of the state, in the Triangle Region, you’d have had an idea that plenty of people know who the Canes are.
But then any tool listening to the Jonas brothers for hours on end under the guise of my kids make me listen to it, surely can’t be all that bright.
Posted by Diehard Caniac from Raleigh, NC on 08/18/08 at 10:07 AM ET
I think you tracked something in on your shoe, Chief.
Posted by Howard from Grand Rapids on 08/18/08 at 10:13 AM ET
Full disclosure sir, the Jonas Brothers are natives of Wycoff, NJ and known Devils fans.
Posted by Steve from New Jersey on 08/18/08 at 10:17 AM ET
and you polled everyone in the State of NC and found out none of them know who the Canes are
well, i’m relatively certain that poll did come out that said exactly that. but whatever.
Posted by rwingscup19 from dallas on 08/18/08 at 10:33 AM ET
I’m not sure if the previous writer can’t spell “denigrate” or if it was a typo but it was still hilarious.
Way to pick on the Canes for no reason.
Don’t forget to take the family to the inner city of Washington, D.C. so they can feel just like they are in Detroit.
Posted by carhockeyfan on 08/18/08 at 11:09 AM ET
So Chief was on the wrong side of the state to find the Hurricanes fans?
Really?
Exactly how local are we talking about for the ‘Canes now? I know they started in Greensboro and then managed to find their way to Raleigh. Are they supposed to do a barnstorming tour now after having been in North Carolina for over ten years so they can get the word out?
There’s funny, there’s damn funny and then there’s that.
Posted by HockeyJoe from NY on 08/18/08 at 11:11 AM ET
Full disclosure sir, the Jonas Brothers are natives of Wycoff, NJ and known Devils fans.
that is so sad that you know that...they’re terrible.
Posted by Animal Drew from The Mitten on 08/18/08 at 11:13 AM ET
that is so sad that you know that...they’re terrible.
Isn’t it? Aren’t they? Trust me, if my lady friends are any indication, Chief’s daughters aren’t growin’ out of that phase any time soon.
Posted by Steve from New Jersey on 08/18/08 at 11:19 AM ET
Way to pick on the Canes for no reason.
I haven’t even begun.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 08/18/08 at 11:29 AM ET
You really are an ass. Oh, but wait you’re a Detroit fan.
Posted by canesgirl on 08/18/08 at 11:37 AM ET
You really are an ass. Oh, but wait you’re a Detroit fan.
Thank you.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 08/18/08 at 11:47 AM ET
My folks used to have a cabin in the southern NC mountains. It was deep, deep, DEEP in the woods..like Deliverance deep. Used to go there in the summertime when I was in college. Nice place to visit, but not the biggest place where you see professional sports fans. Sure, they know what the guys on the bench for Carolina and Duke had for breakfast, but probably couldn’t tell you who the Bobcats or the Panthers were either. Strange people.
Posted by UMFan from Colorado on 08/18/08 at 11:51 AM ET
In your informal poll, did you ask them if they knew what Ice Hockey was first, as an opening statement for the conversation? That might provide you a level set of who you are dealing with.
Posted by Mike on 08/18/08 at 11:53 AM ET
What in the holy hell is going on here?
Chief, how’d you get people to post here posing as ‘Canes fans?
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 08/18/08 at 12:06 PM ET
Welcome back, Chief.
My bid to have Sundin renamed “The Messiah” can be found at Paul’s recent posting…
http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/hockey/comments/sundins_agent_says_report_not_true/
And Chief… I have intentionally used your music ordeal as a form of personal torture against my enemies. It was no Iraqi prison torture, but I think your lads at Homeland Security will appreciate its effectiveness. Let me tell you my story of musical torture…
I was working an event for a Dragon Boat race in Toronto a couple of years ago. This was a full weekend charity race at a major theme park, and over the course of the weekend security did everything possible to make my life, and the tech working with me, miserable.
So on the last day, we struck back.
Our speaker system was strategically arranged to cover most of the park… and before the public arrived we had time to torture the employees of the park that made our lives miserable.
I took it upon myself to pump “MMMBop” by Hanson (super annoying song by a super annoying group) through the PA, on continuous repeat, FOR THREE HOURS. My tech and I left the immediate danger area to do another equipment setup, thankfully.
On our return, we found a radio announcer (who was the event MC) waiting for us in the sound booth. He told us how many exasperated vendors came up to him BEGGING for the song to stop being played. When we told him of our revenge, he loved it and even dedicated and played “MMMBop” to all the security personnel at the park one more time during the event.
I don’t hold myself to the Geneva Convention… Homeland Security could use someone as ruthless as me.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 08/18/08 at 12:09 PM ET
What in the holy hell is going on here?
Dub(!), was thinking the same thing. I think they were lured in by Chief’s mention of the Jonas Brothers in the title.
Same way “Your Sister” will draw out Nashville fans.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 08/18/08 at 12:22 PM ET
Gabe!
Hmm, what to do to drum up a few ‘Dique “fans...”
“LATTE!”
“ESTROGEN!”
“SPREADSHEET!”
THHHHHHHHOOOOMMMMMMMMY!
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 08/18/08 at 12:39 PM ET
if this had something to do with wrastlin’ you would have had 4x as many canes fans come out.
Wooo Wooo Wooooooo!!
Posted by Mike on 08/18/08 at 01:02 PM ET
Duke, you relentless bastard…
You managed to get me through one more Monday.
Great post.
email me your mailing address and i will send your daughters some Dylan CD’s
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 08/18/08 at 01:22 PM ET
Did they turn you Emo Cheif?
Awesome story VooX!
You Canes fans have obviously not visited before, so welcome, enjoy the arrogance And bring on the hatred Bitches!!
Where in Michigan have people not heard of the Wings?
...yes, that’s a setup for your creative jokes...bring it
Posted by Osrt on 08/18/08 at 01:32 PM ET
When I think about physics… I cut myself.
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 08/18/08 at 01:40 PM ET
I think they’re trying to improve their standing on the rivalry depth chart.
Posted by Nate A from the Church of Babcock on 08/18/08 at 01:43 PM ET
What in the holy hell is going on here?
Chief, how’d you get people to post here posing as ‘Canes fans?
Ah, good stuff. Glad to see the 19 are still as snarky as ever. How’s everybody doing this summer?
I just got back from visiting my folks in sunny Detroit. Spent all weekend on the lake. It was awesome. And even there on the lake, I can’t leave hockey:
?v=0
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the back of the Hasek car drinking heavily on 08/18/08 at 01:55 PM ET
I think they’re trying to improve their standing on the rivalry depth chart.
Don’t denigate the digeneates like that Nate.
Jen, I’d have a picture like that of me from earlier this summer...unfortunately the cell phone it’s on is currently home to a small family of crustaceans.
That makes the running total...Pacific Ocean: 7, Me: 0.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 08/18/08 at 02:13 PM ET
Gabe, my dad has lost the gold bracelet my mom gave him into that lake 3 or 4 times and somehow he’s always managed to find it again. One year it was even in there the whole winter. It caught on something and flung off his wrist when closing up the boat for the winter. So she made him get in the lake first thing in the spring - when it was COLD! He walked around for about 10 minutes and sure enough stepped right on it. So… Anchor Bay:0, Dad:4!
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the back of the Hasek car drinking heavily on 08/18/08 at 02:35 PM ET
It’s also the lake we used to play hockey on every winter. That’s when the lake used to really freeze up solid. This is where we’d set up our rink:
?v=0
I’ll never forget one year when my dad and our neighbor decided they were going flood the rink to make it perfectly smooth. Well, they got completely hammered waiting for the rink to fill and went inside and forgot they had the hose on. The next morning, instead of waking up to beautiful smooth rink, we had a big mess of slush. They never lived it down.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the back of the Hasek car drinking heavily on 08/18/08 at 02:39 PM ET
“Jen, I’d have a picture like that of me from earlier this summer...unfortunately the cell phone it’s on is currently home to a small family of crustaceans”
Wow!! What an exciting story!!
Posted by carhockeyfan on 08/18/08 at 03:00 PM ET
Oh, I see what you did there, canesgurrrllll.
All Wings fans = asses.
Classless jerks, too, I presume.
Not true.
(Please post pics of your butt. Thanks).
Posted by O-Joe on 08/18/08 at 03:12 PM ET
Wow!! What an exciting story!!
And yet, you’ve offered so much. Oh wait…
Please, regale us with your stories of winter hockey on the lake or lazy crazy summers. Or just go away. Either way, it’s cool.
Honestly, I don’t know why these trolls show up here in the middle of summer. I guess they have some masochistic need for a smackdown even in the off season.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the back of the Hasek car drinking heavily on 08/18/08 at 03:13 PM ET
Jennifer, sounds as if the lake actually likes your dad. It kept something safe and returned it when it could. That’s a good friend.
The Pacific Ocean on the other hand...it’s robbed me of my possessions, my breakfast, and - on multiple occasions - my dignity. I’m surprised it never showed up at my high school and left me hanging from the flagpole by my underwear.
The worst part is that we live about 50 yards from the beach, and about a month ago my 3-year-old daughter told me about her dream where the ocean came to our house. I don’t sleep very well anymore.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 08/18/08 at 03:14 PM ET
Jennifer, sounds as if the lake actually likes your dad.
I think it’s all the drinking that they did together. 
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from the back of the Hasek car drinking heavily on 08/18/08 at 03:18 PM ET
Wow!! What an exciting story!!
What’s the matter? Did the Eric Cole story on the front page get your panties in a twist?
Or maybe you’re still holding on to a little resentment from 2002. That’s not healthy. Let it go.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 08/18/08 at 03:21 PM ET
Oh, now now ‘Canes “fans,” it’s summer, and you know what that means…
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 08/18/08 at 03:34 PM ET
“Oh, now now ‘Canes “fans,” it’s summer, and you know what that means…”
By the looks of things it means two guys hugging each other in Detroit.
Gotta go. It’s been nice chatting but I’m sure that the “hit” count has doubled today for this site and I don’t want to help make your “Chief” any more money. Besides, work is over for the day and I’m certainly not going to spend my social/free time on here. As you were, Wings’ fans, back to your tales of the Jonas Brothers. From now on I think I’ll just stick to reading Kukla’s other bloggers’ entries. They’re more interesting.
Posted by carhockeyfan on 08/18/08 at 04:03 PM ET
these canes fans get that syrup in em, they get all antsy in their pantsy. poor, sad little people.
and i second the motion for canesgirl to send a picture of her butt. she’s within range of RWBill…
Posted by rwingscup19 from dallas on 08/18/08 at 04:24 PM ET
You really are an ass.
Atta boy Chief, making friends and influencing people!!!
Six days on island time and I check in to find a troll lurking from the hinterlands of that bastion of hockey...Norte Carolina. How quaint. Must be the heat driving them indoors to their computers for a little mid summer beat down.
Good story Jennifer...I have two watches at the bottom of SD bay. If anybody sees them.....1-800-Rumbear.
The summer of Stanley continues....
Posted by Rumbear from just back from catalina..... on 08/18/08 at 04:51 PM ET
By the looks of things it means two guys hugging each other in Detroit.
Right on Dub.
Oddly enough it’s a common scene after a team wins a playoff series or perhaps the penultimate trophy in the sport we are here for. 19 of us get that.
It’s something quite familiar to certain fans of one historic team in red and white & not so familiar to fans of another team in red and white. Maybe that’s why the guy in the photo above never did accept the offer to wear the other red and white.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 08/18/08 at 04:51 PM ET
Maybe that’s why the guy in the photo above never did accept the offer to wear the other red and white.
Just nitpicking, but didn’t Fedorov actually accept the Canes’ offer sheet, and then the Wings matched?
Just trying to keep my facts straight.
Posted by Earl Sleek from Los Angeles, CA on 08/18/08 at 05:15 PM ET
Thankfully my daughter can not stand the Jonas Brothers or Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. She does like Abba though and if I hear “Dancing Queen” one more time.....
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 08/18/08 at 05:32 PM ET
Earl - you would be correct on that one.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 08/18/08 at 05:32 PM ET
Someone’s signal to noise ratio should be adjusted before they start typing. What a waste of everyone’s time.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/18/08 at 06:10 PM ET
if I hear “Dancing Queen” one more time....
But…
please...no…
...
crap.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 08/18/08 at 06:23 PM ET
Oddly enough it’s a common scene after a team wins a playoff series or perhaps the penultimate trophy in the sport we are here for.
Point of Parliamentary procedure here (read: Kangaroo Court). In this case, the penultimate trophy is the Campbell or Wales Trophy and only Stevie is allowed to carry that one screaming into the locker room - kind of like he did in 2002, eh Canes fans?
Of course, you remember better for having seen him carry around the ultimate trophy in all of sports. The one our dear compadre was meaning to point out.
Posted by HockeyJoe from NY on 08/18/08 at 06:38 PM ET
Wow- all three of the Canes’ fans “have the internet”.
Posted by monkey from He spells his name is Montkey on 08/18/08 at 06:56 PM ET
Monkey, I just blew PBR through my nose.
Thanks. Ass.
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 08/18/08 at 09:59 PM ET
Sigh...yes, Detroit is a crime-ridden scumhole and all Wings fans are classless. Yes, North Carolina is full of inbred hicks and all Canes fans are ignorant of ice hockey. If those cliches make you happy, then by all means carry on.
Me, I’ve got an upcoming season to look forward to, and a game against Carolina where the results can speak for themselves.
Good to have you back, Chief, even if the Caniacs followed you home.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the rainy dog days of a long summer on 08/19/08 at 04:11 AM ET
I just find it funny that North Carolinians have a hard time saying/writing/typing the name Hurricanes so they have to shorten by 50% (that means ‘half’ if you live in Raleigh.)
What does ‘Canes’ mean anyways...is that supposed to sound tough and frightening (that means scary if you live in Durham)
Nothing is as intimidating as the mental image of a ninety year old hillbilly with a walking stick...(that means Rod Brind’Amour if you live in Asheville)
More like ‘Gentle Rain Sprinkle’ than a Hurricane if you ask me, but whatever…
Posted by ScottH from Kalamazoo on 08/19/08 at 10:42 AM ET
I just find it funny that North Carolinians have a hard time saying/writing/typing the name Hurricanes so they have to shorten by 50% (that means ‘half’ if you live in Raleigh.)
Kinda like “Wings”, right?
Posted by Mike on 08/19/08 at 10:56 AM ET
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Don’t denigate yourself for coming back to work dumber than when you left. That wasn’t believed possible.
Posted by whatsthematteru? on 08/18/08 at 10:03 AM ET