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Monday Morning And I’m Stress Free
by IwoCPO on 04/07/08 at 08:27 AM ET
Comments (21)
If you believe that you are shockingly stupid. Here’s what a fan of Michigan pro sports is thinking this morning. “If the Red Wings lose, what then?”
That’s right neighbors, the Tigers have affected the acceleration of the Stress Train. Honestly, my thinking all winter has been that if the Wings cut my throat in April or May, the Tigers will pick up the ball and give me hope until next hockey season.
That plan, to put it very mildly, looks like it’s right down the crapper. It would appear the Wings are our only shot at summertime happiness. Because, two teams in 81 years have started 0-6 and made the playoffs.
Oh, and there’s this. Saturday at 1400? Birthday party at the bowling alley. Shut up. You think I planned it this week? It’s been on the domestic schedule for six months. Lanes are reserved. RSVPs have begun to arrive. A child’s happiness hangs in the balance.
That’s ok. DVR it. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. But, what if the DVR stops at 1630 and the game goes into overtime? Well, set the thing to record the next program. Oh yes, I’m sure that will work because the Verizon Fios MFers haven’t F’d me before.
And what if the Wings lose Game 1? Huh? How bad is it going to be waiting for Game 2, knowing I have to record it, miss it, watch it, avoid all communication with the outside world until the recording’s done? You’ve been there. Tell me that doesn’t suck.
Here’s something else. Somebody tell me the twelve forwards playing Game 1. You know, it’s not so much a concern that Uncle Mike’s going to put the best team on the ice that he can. I know that he will, and I trust him completely. It’s just that, I want to know. And I want to know now. I’m so sick and frigging tired of trying to guess line combinations. Now you throw Home Keys into the mix and even Helm? C’mon. That gives us like 16 forwards to choose from.
Do you see? Do you fully understand why the playoffs suck? Here. Try with me. Here’s who I think plays Game 1 and I’m not even really attempting combinations, just the forwards themselves.
Zetterberg
Datsyuk
Homer
Cleary
Filppula
Franzen
K. Guaranteed. No doubt about any of them unless the CORTISONE SHOT DOESN’T WORK.
Next six? Here we go. Roll the frigging dice.
Hudler
Draper (health risk)
Drake
Hartigan (I still can’t believe I can type that, in that spot, in this situation, at this time of year)
McCarty
Abdelfrigginggatorhomekeyskader
I’m in on Home Keys. All the way in. Even when Sammy gets back? Yeah. Out goes Hartigan. And when Maltby comes back? Dammit. You had to ask me that. That’s a tough one. Ok, mostly the way in on Abdelkader. I just think Maltby’s playoff experience is too valuable to sit. He knows how to defend in the playoffs and he knows how to draw a penalty.
Ok then. Abdelkader or Mac, or Abdelkader or Drake? Oh. Drake’s playing. Let’s not kid ourselves about that. He was brought here for April and nothing else. Abdelkader in place of McCarty? I don’t know. Something about the kid I like. He’s a scoring threat. He’s abrasive and I think his energy will be infectious. But I just don’t know.
Bubba like to forecheck. Bubba’s got speed. Bubba forechecks with speed. Excellent. We do ok against aggressive forecheckers because our blue line moves the puck better than any team since the ‘98 Wings. Forecheck us rednecks. Forecheck hard and watch the puck move.
Dan Ellis is 4-0-1 his last five starts and has given up 5 goals on like 182 shots.
Ok. Wait til he’s got a big view of Holmstrom’s ass for about 25 minutes per night, then talk to me.
Brad Stuart can’t shoot the puck.
Ok. Can he hit? Does he need that finger to lay the wood? I’m just curious. I’m not making light of his injury, but I am saying that he’s in there for Game 1, offensively challenged or not.
Really? Who sits then? Haven’t talked about that in a while have we? Who’s your 6 dmen, smart guy, if Stuart’s back?
Lidstrom/Rafalski
Stuart/Kronwall
Chelios/
Frigging Lilja. Yes, it has to be Lilja. He’s better on the kill and we know he’s a better shot blocker. Either one’s gonna be a nightmare waiting to happen, and Lilja brings slightly more to the table.
Not even a mention of goaltending. Not yet. Other things to worry about.
Wings in 5. After losing Game 1.
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Comments
I think Babcock has shown us exactly how much he plans on playing McCarty in the playoffs. Given the opportunity to get him ready during meaningless games, he chose to play minor leaguers instead. Barring a couple of significant injuries, I’m doubting we’ll see Mac back in the lineup.
But then what are the chances tha all of our four dozen forwards remain healthy? Either Tootoo is going to hit Datsyuk over the head with a piece of whale blubber, or a spotlight is going to fall from the rafters and hit Cleary in the face...or Hudler’s going to pass out and hit his head after accidently seeing them giving Homer a cortisone shot in the junk.
Damn it. I hate the playoffs. Go Wings.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/07/08 at 10:49 AM ET
hos82pital. WTF?
Kopecky injury. Magic codeword8ball speaks nothing but truth.
Banal but true comments:
--We’re lucky to have choices of forwards given our recent injury streak.
--Playoffs are a war of attrition
--We’ll beat Bubba down.
Posted by Osrt on 04/07/08 at 11:06 AM ET
what’s the latest on downy?
As much as I hate to say it, I think you go with Lilja. As big of a liability as he can be with the puck, he looks too much like Keanu Reeves to bench. Oh, and he’s not too bad on the PK. Plus, he looks funny when pissed off. Also, I still remember that fight he got in to last season after complaining to the Sweedish press about his lack of ice time.
Then again, there’s always Meech…
Posted by Tuba Guy from Royal Oak, MI on 04/07/08 at 11:40 AM ET
I too, have the Wings in five. It was a nice game yesterday, just to see the team play a little bit better. I am already a bundle of nerves and it is only Monday. Actually, I’ve been a bundle of nerves since um, well, last playoff season? No, I think I did relax sometime over the summer. It is all so hazy now.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/07/08 at 11:54 AM ET
Lilja will be fine this series.
A Swedish brain fart can be overcome against Nashville, most likely - it will be more painful against a second-round opponent, provided Detroit makes it that far.
(I assume no wins, out of fear of angering the hockey god pantheon.) 
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/07/08 at 11:56 AM ET
Osrt:
I’ll be watching magic codeword8ball carefully from now on. Perhaps I’ll play the lottery with it. I’m just glad there wasn’t another number in there.
Posted by AndrewB from TN on 04/07/08 at 12:19 PM ET
I’m picking the Wings in five. Bubba will take one game at the SoGay, but we’ll pretty much own this series. Someone needs to keep an eye on that sawwed-off little eskimo bastard Tootoo though.
Posted by Chris from Columbia, Tennessee on 04/07/08 at 12:40 PM ET
Here’s my take on the forward situation:
Like Chief said, the obvious 6 are Hank, Dats, Homer, Charlie Buckets, Flip, and Franzen
Here’s what I would do with the remaining forwards to START round 1:
Happy is in for game 1 due to the fact that he may just catch fire after his 2 points saturday.
Drapes plays for his face-off prowess, and for his overall post-season experience.
Drake plays because of grit, added depth
Downey plays just to keep Tootoo honest
Hartigan plays because he COULD score (I think)
Home Keys plays for added depth, speed.
I think Mac and Downey could possibly rotate throughout the series, but I think we need one of them in the lineup every night just because of Tootoo’s ass. Plus, Mac can still contribute with points here and there on that fourth line.
When Sammy comes back, say bye-bye to Hartigan, problem solved there.
When Malts gets back, Abdelkader sits, but only until we see if Happy contributes at all, and if he doensn’t I say give Abdelkader Hudler’s spot.
As far as the 6th d-man spot goes, I say Meech or Lebda just because Bubba is a quicker team and they do forecheck hard, which is a very bad mix for Lilja’s ability to move the puck without going retarded on the ice.
This is just my opinion.
Posted by Chris from Columbia, Tennessee on 04/07/08 at 12:57 PM ET
Better shut off your Freakin Fone cuz we are all going to be texting your a** full time, oh not with scores to spoil it, but with tantalizing and frustrating teasers, like, “Do you believe freakin Datsyuk?!!” “TooToo is such a Goon” “Damn what a Comeback”, and “The Douche Canoe is in rare form”. Things to drive you nuts. Yeah, I’ve been there out with the kids and coaching, we know the deal. With the playoffs you’ve got to schedule about 6 hours recording time to be sure you get it all, and then when you get home you’ve got to avoid having the TV come straight up on the game - live - with the score showing, I’ve done that.
The great thing about DVRing a hockey game is getting to FFWD thru the morons, but if it’s NBC at least you’ll have Doc Emrick, one of the best. The downside is we’ll have the Douche Canoe - whatever the hell that means, I think it refers to a female body part.
Posted by RWBill from Richmond, VA on 04/07/08 at 01:21 PM ET
A child’s happiness hangs in the balance.
Watch the game Chief. You’d be surprised how inexpensive therapy is for children. As an aside, you may want to ratchet up the child guilt a little around the olde manor. Try reading one of my favorite books at story time..."Daddy Drinks Because You Cry”.
Wings in five...gotta believe Bubba will take one in the SoGay.
No pun intended.
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 04/07/08 at 01:53 PM ET
Duke said something nice about Lilja…
The world must be about to end..
Next up:
The Chief resigns from the Brandon Inge bashers.
I guess a phone-in Bomb Threat to the bowling alley would point in your direction.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from the "NOT QUITE DEAD PIRATE" on 04/07/08 at 02:15 PM ET
Chief,
Two of my boy’s have birthday’s this Sat.. Two years apart. Fortunately, the 7yr. old is my partner in crime as far as being a Red Wing diehard. He is honored the Wings have scheduled a game on his B-day. So of coarse we will have it around the game. I think his younger brother is ok with this too. One other caveat to this is, if Michigan wins its game this Thursday, I want to go see them down in Denver Sat. also. Hopefully their mother who is a Wings fan and Michigan graduate can understand all of this.
Abdelkader should play no matter what. I have followed him pretty closely with his career at State. I think he is the real deal even though he is raw. He could be as I have said, be the funny kind of wildcard that always seems to come out of nowhere in the playoffs. Not saying this will be the deal, but it could be.
Posted by Jeff from Loveland, CO on 04/07/08 at 02:16 PM ET
Gramps,
I do admit to feeling a little dirty when I said that about Lilja. I’ll make up for it soon.
And no need for a resignation from the Inge Hater club. I’ve never been a member. Tiger fans owe that kid a lot and you can’t blame him for feeling the way he does.
And that’s all I’m saying about the Tigers for now. I can’t think about them or I start to itch.
Jeff: I don’t think Abdelkader’s going to see a day in Grand Rapids. Something tells me he’s going to be a Wing for a long time, starting Thursday.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 04/07/08 at 02:20 PM ET
Tiger fans owe that kid a lot and you can’t blame him for feeling the way he does.
I don’t believe for a minute he felt like that. It was merely politics, and his way of seeking confirmation of his position with the Tigers. As soon as the media started saying he was no longer needed here, I said Bullshit, the Ilitch org. does not do things like that.
My guess he was promised a long term position after his playing days are over with the Tigers.
Also
My lil’bro pointed out the Tigers have the 2nd highest payroll in MLB.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from the "NOT QUITE DEAD PIRATE" on 04/07/08 at 02:42 PM ET
And that’s all I’m saying about the Tigers for now. I can’t think about them or I start to itch.
In 1988 the Baltimore Orioles started the season with 21 straight losses. Single-digit streaks aren’t so bad when you compare it to 21.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/07/08 at 02:54 PM ET
Hartigan is way too much of a defensive liability. Send him to GR and never look back.
Posted by Tuba Guy from Royal Oak, MI on 04/07/08 at 03:06 PM ET
He is honored the Wings have scheduled a game on his B-day. So of coarse we will have it around the game.
When my wife told me what day she wanted to get married, I checked and saw that the Dive were in town for an afternoon game...so I told her how romantic it would be to have our vows at sunset. When she found out, she was mostly mad because she knew if they lost (they did) that I would be sulking all the way to Tahiti (I was).
Jeff: I don’t think Abdelkader’s going to see a day in Grand Rapids. Something tells me he’s going to be a Wing for a long time, starting Thursday.
Training camp will be interesting next season. I know the Wings have to make Grigs a qualifying offer to retain their rights to him. What do you think the chances are that we’ll see him back in Detroit? I know his team’s in the playoffs, but I haven’t heard much about his stats this year.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/07/08 at 03:33 PM ET
Gabe: here’s what Red Wings Central has to say about Grigorenko today:
Salavat Yulaev, featuring Red Wings draft picks Igor Grigorenko and Miroslav Blatak, is tied 1-1 with in the Russian Elite League’s best-of-five final with Yaroslavl. Grigorenko hasn’t played in three weeks because of injury.
http://www.redwingscentral.com/stories/2008_04/07_RWCReport.php
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 04/07/08 at 03:56 PM ET
OMG LMAO “Daddy drinks because you cry”. That is just plain evil Rumbear. Where was that when I needed it?
Posted by RWBill from Back aboard the Hasek. on 04/07/08 at 07:08 PM ET
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I feel a little better after yesterday’s game. They didn’t mail it in and although Chicago probably didn’t want to be there, the Wings looked like they were warming up. I agree with Chris from TN from another thread. Buddy, I’ll never hear the end of it either should, oh let’s not say it.
Not worried about Ellis, I’ve seen him get pulled too many times and after each time the kid looks like he’s been denied his cookies and milk before bedtime. Could he go on a hot streak? Possible, but his confidence is as tissue thin as someone else’s groin and I just don’t see it happening. Because it’s the first round and the first three games Bubba will try everything to get under the wings skin (I sense some very questionable stuff from The Fat Eskimo)before ultimately collapsing I say Wings in 6.
The notification word or whatever I have to type to submit is hos82pital. WTF?
Posted by AndrewB from TN on 04/07/08 at 09:48 AM ET