Abel to Yzerman
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Oh, There Will Be Blood
by IwoCPO on 04/24/08 at 02:42 AM ET
Comments (67)
Round 1 was a quaint, engaging experience for Wing fans—particularly the 19 readers of A2Y. Bubba’s fans dropped in from time to time and exchanged a few barbs with the faithful. Friendships were formed between the two fan bases. We bid them farewell and wished them the best. Bubba’s bloggers came by occasionally and a few serious-minded, even-keeled hockey discussions took place. Children were smiling. Puppies frolicked as firetrucks waited outside, offering rides.
Well, you can leave that crap at the door brother. Leave it. Because Round 2 is a whole new ballgame, a whole different dynamic.
Why? Because, we’re talking genetic hatred now. I make no apologies and offer no excuses. I despise the Dive, particularly the fans. Harsh? I really don’t care. Check the glossary if you need an explanation. Or don’t. I’ll tell you now. My distaste for those “fans” started back in ‘96 when some monkey-looking skank held up a sign behind the Wing bench during Game 6. It’s continued through every playoff series, every season. I don’t like their fans. I don’t like their organ-I-zation. I don’t even like their bloggers. Joe at Mile High Hockey’s a decent enough dude. The others? Well, you can see them on the left sidebar. I put them there because I’m sure you’ll be looking to peruse through their sobbing excuse-riddled crap as this series goes forward. But you sure as hell don’t see ‘em in the blogroll. Never have and you never will. I’m not in the business of driving traffic to places like that. I don’t tell my kids to surf porn and I’m sure not telling my friends to visit blogs I don’t respect.
Was that mean? I know a few Dive bloggers have accused me of that before. I know. I’m sorry.
But, well…
I don’t like men who hyphenate their names. I don’t like men who talk about kittens and “hockey love”. I don’t like men whose blog titles sound like the name of a show on Nickelodeon. And I don’t care if I’m breaking some unwritten rule about being respectful to the opposing team’s blogs because we’re all in this together and slamming peers is not what adult hockey bloggers do well I’m not an adult mothefu***rs I’m a Sailor and I’m a Wing fan and everything else takes a back seat so you bandwagon elitist wine sipping leg warmer wearing clean air sniffing Detroit bashing pieces of garbage can all suck it and suck it hard.
Because that’s what this blog was founded on. Oh, you expect some sort of analysis of Round 2. You’ll get it. But, I’m not done with the core of this issue yet. I don’t like Pierre LaCroissant. I don’t like Mike Keane calling the Wings cowards and I don’t like the French. Yeah, I said it. I don’t like the French. I don’t like a guy named Ian running our captain and I believe Round 2, Game 1 should feature a beatdown in the early goings.
Honesty and self-assessment are overrated in my book. I’m not the introspective type. I’ll leave that to the sensitive ones in Denver, the Darren Garcia’s and the other “confused” fans of a team who consider 1996 to be “old time hockey” (thanks to the A2Y genius who came up with that..classic). But here’s something I can admit. The hatred between these two fan bases is steeped in one thing and one thing only: fear. Fear of your team losing to the other and having to live with the dark thoughts that accompany that loss. We talked a bit a few weeks ago about how difficult it is to watch playoff hockey after the Wings are knocked out. I’ll tell you this: The Wings lose this series? I won’t read a word, watch a highlight. Not a single period. I’ll shut this bastard down for weeks and go on sabbatical. Hockey will be a discussion stopper in my house and in my life. Does that make me a “bad fan”? I. Don’t. Care. I’ve said that already. I’m not an NHL fan. I’m not a Central Division or Western Conference fan. I’m a Red Wing fan. Period.
I’ve been flying in frigging airplanes for two days straight, so forgive my surliness. I’m usually so happy. I haven’t read the garbage in the Denver papers, but I will. I haven’t seen the MSM predictions, but I’ll look today. I’ll do all of that because I’m a sucker and I allow myself to get all worked up for series’ like this one.
And I’ll tell you this. I’m glad Footer and Floppa and new hero Jose and little Ian and captain Joey and crying Ryan are all healthy and happy. I hope the Denver fan is feeling confident and secure. I want that. Because the thought of watching the hearts of the Denver “faithful” get ripped out and kicked as a result of a loss to Detroit is just about the happiest image I can conjur.
Wow. You’re shocked at the tone of this post. The Dive feel-good bloggers will link to it and claim it’s just Iwo and his angry self. Angry? No. I’m not angry. Anger, in most people, is an emotion that comes and goes, ebbs and flows. With beer and dandelions it can pass. Anger doesn’t last for twelve years. Not in sane people anyway, which is another discussion—sanity. No, this isn’t anger. This is Ohio State-like hatred. I’m not mad at Dive fans. I simply don’t like you.
And I will enjoy your pain. I have zero sympathy. None.
So that’s, you know, where I stand. Predictions, analysis, all that other stuff? Yeah, it’s coming today. We’ll get to it. A long day awaits.
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Comments
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All I can say is keep up the good work Dive fans! You represent the Avalanche well.
Posted by Sp4r7an on 04/24/08 at 03:11 PM ET
Oh, and also:
Why would I subject myself to watching the team I love to hate the most?
Same reason anyone watches a team they hate - Red Wings, Colorado, Yankees, Red Sox, Lakers, Packers - hoping with all the venom in your cold, black heart that they will lose, and lose in an epic way, possibly with debilitating injuries, and you will be able to say you saw it happen.
(Probably the same reason Michigan residents watch the Detroit Lions, actually - hoping for an epic failure.) 
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/24/08 at 03:12 PM ET
The thing that I like the most is the passion about the sport. It seems all too many sports shows (tv or radio) start covering baseball pre-season games over hockey play-offs or begin over analyzing basketball playoffs without even a mention of hockey. I do love baseball and basketball, but give me a hockey game and I’ll be one happy motherF#*er!!!
That being said, I do live in Colorado, I do love hockey and yes (even though most of you will hate me for it) I do love the Avs.
What I hate is people making just plain stupid comments (Bob, i’m looking in your direction)that give the rest of us LOYAL (yes I used the term loyal in connection with Colorado fans) fans a bad name. Contrary to what you Red Wings fans WANT to think, there are people who were born and raised here (me being an example) who supported the Grizzlies, who have season ticket holders of the Avs since the first game in ‘95 against the Wings (Avs won that one by the way).
Saying you are a Red Wings fan (or any other fan for that matter) means (or SHOULD mean), and of course this is from my point of view, you love hockey. The more fans we get to contribute to blogs, the more people who talk hockey, I think the more we all win. Maybe sometime in the future hockey will not be ostracized to Versus (and local channels) but rather get some air time so we all can watch the sport we seem to love.
This series between the Avs and the Wings is going to be good, most likely the winner will be the favorite to take home the cup, and good for the winner. Don’t get me wrong, I do not like the Red Wings, but you better believe I RESPECT the way they play hockey. How many cups, how many years of consistent fan loyalty, how many hall of famers?!!!!
We can all bash the other team as much as we like (or more to the point, as much as we can to make ourselves feel better) but I do think we all should make damn sure that hockey gets more prime time coverage so we can watch more games!!
Playoff Hockey = Best Hockey
Posted by fan of hockey on 04/24/08 at 03:28 PM ET
Can we request the intelligent, literate Colorado bloggers trash-talk so the discussion is beyond the clever level of “you suck” and it’s actually more entertaining?
What is there for “literate” to say? I can call Detroit fans loud-obnoxious louts who are on par with Red Sox fans for most obnoxious fans in the country (true story!). But there’s not much more to say, other than this, until at least after game 1.
Posted by Jibblescribbits from San Jose, CA on 04/24/08 at 03:55 PM ET
Damnit.. what is there for the “literate” to say. Yes I know a misplaced error can be really funny.
Posted by Jibblescribbits from San Jose, CA on 04/24/08 at 03:56 PM ET
“hoping with all the venom in your cold, black
heart that they will lose, and lose in an epic way”
Not everybody hates the world as much as Wings fans seem to.
Posted by Shane from Saskatoon on 04/24/08 at 03:58 PM ET
So lame, failed attempt at a fail. I would say try again, but why bother I know you have nothing better to do, so you probably will.
And me english be quite good me thinks.
I know I got to you all, consider yourselves owned.
Just what I would expect from Wings fans, no class, and a lot of talk with no action.
I wasn’t implying the Wings are a team of goons, but it will be near impossible to resist when they’re getting beat soooo bad.
Posted by Avaholic on 04/24/08 at 04:27 PM ET
Not everybody hates the world as much as Wings fans seem to.
I don’t hate the world - just noting that some people do. It might be a reason to watch a team that one hates. A twisted reason, but a reason.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/24/08 at 04:41 PM ET
Yes, we’re within 2 hours of gametime. Let’s reflect upon a few points, disclosure if you will, before I tear into you and your hockey team.
I am an Avalanche fan. I don’t live in Colorado. I was a Nordiques fan as a child, and I transferred loyalties when they transferred cities. When the Nords moved, Denver was gift-wrapped a championship caliber team, and their blithering numbskull fans became as spoiled as trust fund children at a debutante ball. Most Avalanche fans think Michel Goulet is a knockoff Vegas lounge act. I’m very happy to live 2000 miles from Denver; it makes it easier to remain an Avs fan. That said…
I hate the Red Wings. I hate you, their fans. The juicy hatred I had as a child for the Montreal Canadiens and their tired act is transcended by the disdain I now carry for you, your organ-eye-zation, your arena, your recent history, your extended history, and all your players. Your failures bring glee to my soul, and I’ve had quite the gleeful soul recently. Watching your team slowly disintegrate into irrelevance, even as you still arrogantly paint “Hockeytown” on your ice, is the gift that keeps on giving. Year after year, your team builds you up, gives you hope, makes you proud…and then May rolls around, and suddenly, your heroes look about as fallible and phony as a televangelist. The only question, from year to year, is “Who’s it going to be this year?” What upstart is going to smack the vaunted Red Wings around their own building in the playoffs this year? “Who is this year’s Brad Winchester?”
Well, mutants, this year’s “upstart” is the Colorado Avalanche…and this time, it’s for the killshot. Avs win? Bye Osgood, bye Hasek. Avs win? Bye Chelios, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Avs win? Bye-bye, already-fading “Hockeytown” mystique…and you’ll be missed about as much as much as a pedophile at a YMCA retreat. This is the last shot at glory for guys like Hasek, Osgood, and Chelios, guys that have in all reality contributed nothing tangible in six years, and it’s likely the last chance for Lidstrom, Ginger Draper, Avery-Forebear Maltby, and perennial Family Man-Of-The-Year candidate Darren McCarty. None of these guys have enough time left for the rebuilding process to fully take hold and show results, and what a shame it will be to see them skate off, dejected, with yet another season full of prematurely spent shells lingering behind. A real shame, indeed. That their last real kick at the can was aborted by the Colorado Avalanche will make the sting all the greater, I suspect, and I think it’s fitting.
I could spend another hour or so dissecting what exactly would make this the sweetest non-Stanley Cup playoff series win of my lifetime as a fan of this franchise, but I really don’t need to. You don’t need me to tell you that your fading legacy is already hanging by a thread. You don’t need me to tell you that a series loss to this Avs team would be the shears that would sever that thread. You don’t need me to tell you that…because you already know it.
Avs in 6.
Posted by Anthrax Jones from Under the Red Wings Bandwagon on 04/24/08 at 04:48 PM ET
Why is it that Avs (and non-Detroit fans in general) always fall back on the whole “yer team iz fallin apart now”... and yet every season, with every challenge that is thrown in the club’s way, they manage to continue to play quality hockey?
We’ll be the first to admit how dissapointing some of the first round flameouts have been, but hell…
Posted by Nathan on 04/24/08 at 05:12 PM ET
I know what a good rivalry is, and I’m sure I wont miss any sleep if D McC misses anytime, but I’m not rooting for injuries, I want to see good hockey, which loses its appeal when teams like the wings and wild cant take losing anymore and goon it up, which will happen, because you know you cant take the pressure when you are getting run over by a 6 seed with all the pieces coming together at just the right time.
I know a bad case of Long Sentence Syndrome (LSS) when I see one. Maybe the stress is getting to you? Why don’t you take that extra herbal yoga class you were planning.
Posted by lilja4ever on 04/24/08 at 06:02 PM ET
Do I respect the Av’s? Depends on who were talking about. Sakic…yeah it stops about right there. Nice hat trick Sakic, I still respect you.
I watched the NHL Network in the middle of the night and checked out the top ten most shaking events between the two teams over the years. It really cranked up the flames for me. I guess I am going to have to pull out some old VCR tapes so I can get totally cranked.
Patrick Roy clips. Wow. And now we have a like father like son scenario. “I want to be like you daddy and make a fool of myself” on what was later national television. I wonder what Roy thinks of his little disappointment. Nice call champ, beat a kid into the ground and then beat him down some more in a feeble attempt to make up to daddy for your total ineptitude. “I needed to try and convince daddy and the rest of the team that my back up goal tending role wasn’t total nepotism.”
I have had a chance to see the Wings in a few cities. Chicago—thunderous, but aside from the expected sh*t after the game a respectful fan base (my single experience—-and they won—-I hear it is bad there). Phoenix—-I pitied them for their need to be so ugly. San Jose—-some as#ery but again expected. Dallas—-again, expected levels of crap. But Denver—-I was amazed at the depths of the “original Bubba fans” on the numerous occasions I have seen games in Denver. The most pathetic experience was when I was carrying my 1 1/2 year old to the bathroom and this POS white trash motherf*@cker ran over (from the front with a view of my kid in my arms) and screamed “Red Wings suck”. WTF? One bad egg an Av’s fan may say? Yeah right. That is just one example I can throw out there. Does the same lack of respect for opposing fans and ultimately to themselves happen in Detroit? Of course but I would like to think that even the lowest common denominator of Wing’s fan wouldn’t scream in a toddlers face. The funniest memory in the Pepsi Center was a game in which Maracle was playing. After some banter with a mother sitting in front of us about how much better he was than Osgood (to which I am now truly embarrassed) she stood up and screamed “Draper, you pus*y” to which her 13 year old son responded with a shrieking “MOTHER!!”. Heh, good times. How about an about face on this one, taking sh%t during and after a game is part of the fun…usually.
malts
Posted by malts from Texas on 04/25/08 at 11:18 AM ET
I wasn’t implying the Wings are a team of goons, but it will be near impossible to resist when they’re getting beat soooo bad.
So how’d that work out for you, Avaholic? Hitting the bottle hard today?
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 04/25/08 at 11:22 AM ET
Feelin fine today, could be better, could be worse, no shame though.
I’ll make sure to have my editor check for long sentences next time.
Posted by Avaholic from Colorado on 04/25/08 at 12:57 PM ET
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1. What is “the Berg?”
2. Who is “McCloud?” Does he mean Cody McLeod?
3. Can we request the intelligent, literate Colorado bloggers trash-talk so the discussion is beyond the clever level of “you suck” and it’s actually more entertaining?
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 04/24/08 at 03:09 PM ET