Abel to Yzerman
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Prepare To Shake Chelios’ Hand
by IwoCPO on 05/30/07 at 12:24 PM ET
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Oh, the angst this is sure to cause. Via Kukla’s.
NEW YORK (May 30, 2007) – Detroit Red Wings defenseman Chris Chelios has been named the recipient of the Mark Messier Leader of the Year Award, presented by COLD-fX for the 2006-07 season in recognition for his outstanding performance as a player, his vast leadership skills and his dedicated humanitarian efforts.
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Polson, only a self-medicater in the truest traditions of Saginaw self-medication could have come up with that. Good on ya.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 05/30/07 at 04:05 PM ET
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I guess now it’s time to explain the REAL reason he “blacked out” and failed to shake hands with the “slang for male private parts that rhymes with hicks and could maybe even be mistaken for Ducks if you’re not reading carefully.”
Yep, you guessed it. He was tanked up on COLD-fX—the official cold medicine of the NHL—which I’ve been told by Dwayne Klessel’s sources flows like water in every NHL locker room (“Mmmmmm…cherry.”). Unfortunately, Chelios had contracted one of those really nasty springtime colds due to traveling 18,737,000 miles during the first three rounds of the playoffs—and that was just on his exercise bike in the sauna. Being the stalwart leader that he is, Chelios understood that shaking hands with the Anaheim members only club would almost certainly spread his cold to them and perhaps even the Ottawa Senators and the rest of the league! So, by overmedicating himself in his efforts to minimize the contamination of his teammates and others, the brave and noble Mr. Chelios didn’t really skip the handshake, he SAVED the Stanley Cup Playoffs and next season as well!
And that, my friends, is what I call LEADERSHIP!
Posted by YzermanZetterberg from Saginaw, MI on 05/30/07 at 04:01 PM ET