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Abel to Yzerman

The A2Y Baby Monologues: Bella Edition

by VooX on 02/25/10 at 08:40 PM ET
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I am proud to share with you some very special stories these next few days relating to some of the 19 that we all know and love.

The appearance of Jonny Ericsson on our roster last spring was hailed by Red Wings fans around the world as a momentous event.  The men recognized his potential as a franchise defenceman.  The women praised his handsome looks and swooned in a way not seen since Beatlemania.

What you may not know is Jonny Ericsson is not only a defenceman, he is also a fertility god.

I have indisputable evidence of Jonny’s ability to cause couples to conceive.  Exhibit A comes from our beloved Bella.

The picture on the right allegedly includes a shot of my boy’s massive penis (would you expect anything less from Jonny E’s spawn?), and the one on the left is a profile of his (um, other) head
- Bella

Exhibit A is the ultrasound of Bella’s baby.  He is already better hung than Rosby.  Atta boy.

Bella, gracious grrrl that she is, shared that picture and her time in taking part in The Abel to Yzerman Baby Monologues, a special series which will give us a glimpse inside the womb and inside the lives of our parents-to-be.  Bella was gracious enough to take part in an interview and allow me to share her answers with the 19 and the entire Gore.

Take it away Bella:

Q:  Due date?
A:  March 9

Q:  Have you picked any names?  Significance?
A:  Not yet—we have a Scandinavian last name, so I’ve been pushing hard for “Nicklas” and “Henrik,” to no avail. However, in the past week some progress has been made for “Tore Vikingstad.”

Q:  Preparations you’ve made (home/life/etc.)?
A:  Trying unsuccessfully to curb my swearing.

Q:  Your most frequent craving?
A:  Vodka, tequila and the desire to see Brett Lebda traded. Sadly, not one of these has been satisfied in the past nine months.

Q:  Expected position/role on the ice?
A:  I’m thinking left wing with a right-handed shot—defensively responsible but with an ability to one-time shots on the PP. I’d be cool with a Kronwallian D-man, too. (It’s quite sad that I’ve previously given this question some thought.)

Q:  How will you indoctrinate them towards the Red Wings?
A:  I’m thinking a forced indoctrination really won’t be necessary—as my son, it’s a given that he’ll be an intelligent creature, and by simply watching the Red Wings from birth, he will intuit that they are the greatest organ-I-zation in sports and that all other choices are false and will lead him down the path of despair. Still, I’m not taking any chances in case he’s programmed with his father’s non-hockey-fan genes: My hospital has DVD players in the labor rooms, and they recommend you bring something to watch to take your mind off the pain. Packed in my hospital bag—no joke—the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals DVD.

Q:  Plans for the first jersey you will buy them?
A:  Hoping that #5 will stick around long enough his number to be really meaningful to my kid, but if not, #13, #40 or perhaps #43.

Q:  Repercussions if they become an Avs/Ducks/Rosby fan?
A:  Shut your whore mouth.

Q:  Describe your feelings during the pregnancy?
A:  “Holy shit, I’m having a baby!”

Q:

How are you and the baby doing?
A:  All good so far ... really can’t complain and haven’t yet had any horror stories like other folks (knock on wood). I’ll be sure to send a snap once the little guy arrives!

- Bella

Thanks so much, Bella, awesome stuff.  The 19 wish you and your family all the best for a happy and healthy baby with many wonderful years together.

More to come from other members of the 19 who are expecting additions to their families.  Stay tuned.

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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