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The Devil Mocks Our Every Step…But Screw Him. We’re Live Blogging Anyway.
by IwoCPO on 11/23/09 at 04:54 PM ET
Comments (555)
Update: Cool. Darren McCarty’s working the game tonite on Gary’s OLN.
When the winds of Thor blow and all appears dreary, we pull out “No Quarter” and the Live Blog turns bloody. And that’s a fact.
Here’s a quick review of my weekend, because I know you care…
...watched Florida drive a Hummer through Ozzie’s five-hole in overtime from a bar stool on Plymouth road in Ann Arbor. Decided the time might be right to drink a little more. Up early Saturday to the tunes of a hurricane west wind that turned out to be a hangover. Slapped a uniform on and high-tailed it to the Big House. Watched Tate Forcier throw up in his mouth and endured the taunts of at least thirty thousand Buckeye fans. That irritated me.
Decided that hitting eleven or twelve tailgates would be the best way to remember the explosive days of John Cooper. It worked until I got back to the same bar stool on Plymouth road, just in time to see an FSD graphic detailing Nik Kronwall’s injury history. I didn’t see the Laraque assault (was that too much? Don’t worry. It’s just an act, according to a national blogger on Yahoo who thinks I should return his emails in private but I don’t see that happening now or anytime so he, and Leahy and his Two Line Pass tummy rubber can all suck it), but I saw that graphic and turned to the guy chain smoking Pall Malls next to me. Know what I said? “RSV.” He goes, “What?” I said, “RSV bitch. Ready. Set. Vomit.” And we did, in unison, in harmony. Glorious.
Spent Sunday morning at Metro because God decided fog would be best. Flight was delayed from 0950 to 1030 to 1240 to 1355. Finally left and when I landed Matthew Stafford had apparently channeled a certain Captain. I saw the highlight and said to no one in particular, “That young man needs a 1 before his 9.” Think about that. This state would melt in adulation if that kid just said, simply…“Gimme 19.”
So that was my weekend and now I’m back in the nation’s capital. I’ve been away and the comments on the last one are piling up so we’re starting this Mo-Faux early.
It’s a Live Blog bitches. The Wings are in Nashville. Bubba hates our guts. We’ve got Brad McCrimmon literally playing on the third defensive pairing and we get to witness it all on Little Gary’s closed-circuit OLN.
And we get no frigging quarter from anyone, which is exactly how we like it.
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And we get no frigging quarter from anyone, which is exactly how we like it.
Nice to have you back among the imaginary Chief.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/23/09 at 05:28 PM ET
If Barry Trotz ever met Dracula, he’d come away unscathed. His grandmother is 1/4 turtle, I understand.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/23/09 at 05:28 PM ET
He’s not gonna get it though Jordan. Uncle Mike has already said Derek “I’m a turnover waiting to happen” Meech is gonna get the time on the second PP unit with Stuart. He said he wants Jonny for after the PP expires, so he always has an offensive threat in the D to throw on the ice.
This will be only my second live blog of the season. Last one I attended, we beat the (at the time) high flying Kings 5-2. Hopefully Jobu doesn’t ruin my mojo.
LET’S GO RED WINGS (exclamation point)
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 11/23/09 at 05:28 PM ET
Welcome back, Chief. You were missed.
(A LB just isn’t the same without you.)
Let’s put in exclamation on a “W” tonight.
L.G.R.W.
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 11/23/09 at 05:33 PM ET
We do get Brad May tonight - -and some faux karma from D-Mac, so that May pulverizes Jordan Tutu into next month - - and sticks one of those damn whistles where the sun never shines.
And we get no frigging quarter from anyone, which is exactly how we like it.
None asked for - and none given - - we have the Sailor and 19 other Bitches to carry our own damn mail.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 11/23/09 at 05:34 PM ET
Actually, I don’t even want to see May fight Tootoo. I want to see him run in to try to charge Derek Meech only to have Meech step out of the way and Tootoo smash his stupid eskimo face into the Nashville glass.
Then I want Osgood to pee on him.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/23/09 at 05:40 PM ET
Awww Christ. Derek Meech on the PP. Why not just put Jason Williams back there, broken leg and all? He can allow the puck to bounce over his stick for a 2-on-1 the other way just as well as l’il Derek.
I love Uncle Mike, and never doubt it, but ... Derek Meech? If we’re gonna slip someone in there who can play the PP, can’t we get Kindl? Or does he turn into a one-way contract if he’s recalled?
Posted by JordanHR from Toronto on 11/23/09 at 05:40 PM ET
1. the number 19 should be retired for all detroit sports.
2. I want to see Abdelkader fight Tootoo…....jk
Posted by Itrusteddrrahmani from Nyc by way of A2 on 11/23/09 at 05:51 PM ET
we have the Sailor and 19 other Bitches to carry our own damn mail.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 11/23/09 at 05:34 PM ET
Amen to that. Which reminds me, I forced myself to watch The Postman yesterday. One of my favorite bad movies with bad actors. Council of 8. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/23/09 at 05:51 PM ET
Faux-ing Collen Campbell. How long does it take to decide on a suspension? It ain’t rocket science.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/23/09 at 05:59 PM ET
I love Uncle Mike, and never doubt it, but ... Derek Meech? If we’re gonna slip someone in there who can play the PP, can’t we get Kindl? Or does he turn into a one-way contract if he’s recalled?
I think the main reason Meech is getting such a big shot is because the Organ-I-zation doesn’t want another Kyle Quincey to happen. Kenny said that Meech has been raring to go, which tells me he’s been practicing hard. This may be his last audition. The whole notion being: if he can do what is asked of him, and step up the the plate (to use a unrelated sport metaphor), he may find himself on the roster next year.
If he’s gone next year, and has success like Quincey has had on another team, then they can chalk it up to him succeeding in a new environment. Though, I think one of the biggest reasons Quincey didn’t get a full chance was because he was a whiny bitch.
Posted by pilgrim from the ice at the bottom of the world on 11/23/09 at 06:00 PM ET
Anyone got a stream?
Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 11/23/09 at 06:02 PM ET
Hippy Dave, email me .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 11/23/09 at 06:17 PM ET
Anyone got a stream?
Yeah, but it’s weak so my doctor gave me Flomax. 
Posted by calquake on 11/23/09 at 06:20 PM ET
Alright you futhermuckers. I’ve been in school all season thus far and unable to LB, but I’ll be there at faceoff. Naked except for a wings ballcap and howling like a caged beast.
Posted by wingsfanindenver on 11/23/09 at 06:24 PM ET
Naked except for a wings ballcap and howling like a caged beast.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 11/23/09 at 06:25 PM ET
The only problem with Stafford donning 19 is that some of the less knowledgable might draw the comparison with Bill Munson. Would not want that albatross tied around the kids neck this early in the game
Posted by Cal on 11/23/09 at 06:29 PM ET
Stafford asking for 19, as far as the Lions go, might not go over so well considering the last yackhole quarterback in Honolulu Blue that wore it.
Then again, Stafford might be able to exorcise those demons. Kid’s got some guts.
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 11/23/09 at 06:39 PM ET
Stafford asking for 19, as far as the Lions go, might not go over so well considering the last yackhole quarterback in Honolulu Blue that wore it.
I had forgotten about Cement-Head. Actually I had that part of my brain surgically removed.
Posted by Cal on 11/23/09 at 06:50 PM ET
Laraque suspended for 5 games courtesy of the Wheel of Justice.
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 11/23/09 at 06:51 PM ET
Wonder what Sergei Gonchar thinks of this.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 11/23/09 at 06:54 PM ET
Nothing wrong with the number nine, anyway.
If the young man doesn’t get destroyed or concussed into next decade, let him build his own history with his own number.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 11/23/09 at 06:54 PM ET
five games is the minimum, but it doesn’t bring Kronwall back; it just protects the next five teams the Habs play.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/23/09 at 06:54 PM ET
Laraque suspended for 5 games courtesy of the Wheel of Justice.
.
.
.
How many games, if any, that Georges Laraque will be suspended:
0: RWBill
2: Stonehands-78
4: Me
5: MarkK
6: stayouttamalibu
7: J.J.from Kansas
MarkK is the winner. Congratulations for being able to crawl into the mind of Colin Campbell and come out with the right number.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/23/09 at 06:56 PM ET
five games is the minimum, but it doesn’t bring Kronwall back; it just protects the next five teams the Habs play.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/23/09 at 06:54 PM ET
Sad but true. Thanks.Gary.Ass.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/23/09 at 06:58 PM ET
1 minute bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 11/23/09 at 06:59 PM ET
five games is the minimum, but it doesn’t bring Kronwall back; it just protects the next five teams the Habs play.
That is assuming the Habs would actually dress him. He’s only played in 10 this year
Posted by rock & rye from Cartersville, Ga on 11/23/09 at 07:00 PM ET
Congratulations for being able to crawl into the mind of Colin Campbell and come out with the right number.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Sunny SoCal on 11/23/09 at 06:56 PM ET
I think the congratulations is for Mark being able to come back with any modicum of sanity.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 11/23/09 at 07:00 PM ET
Laraque suspended for 5 games courtesy of the Wheel of Justice.
Posted by HockeyJoe
HockeyJoe, where did you hear about the suspension? Nothing so far on NHL.com, ESPN or google news (searched for Laraque).
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/23/09 at 07:00 PM ET
Capt. Dennis - it’s all over Twitter. Bob McKenzie from TSN broke it.
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 11/23/09 at 07:01 PM ET
I thought Big Mac was doing the color - - must be in the studio, I guess.
At least it isn’t Beenanutti
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 11/23/09 at 07:02 PM ET
Per TSN, confirming HockeyJoe…
http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=299574
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/23/09 at 07:02 PM ET
I would definitely back Stafford wearing 19, even considering the last person who wore it. I think he has the potential to be really, really special and I haven’t been this stoked on the Lions in quite awhile, even with our mere 2 wins this year. I pray that management makes the proper picks next draft (OFFENSIVE LINE, SECONDARY, NO MORE WIDE RECEIVERS) and I think the turnaround will really happen.
Anyways sorry to be off topic. Evening bitches.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 11/23/09 at 07:02 PM ET
Congratulations for being able to crawl into the mind of Colin Campbell and come out with the right number.
I have no interest in inspecting septic tanks. Too gross.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 11/23/09 at 07:02 PM ET
Got my clipboard and extra pencils ready. Let’s get some J.J. generic wisdom for the crowd
If we want to win tonight, we should definitely try to score more goals than the Predators.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/23/09 at 07:02 PM ET
Got my clipboard and extra pencils ready. Let’s get some J.J. generic wisdom for the crowd
HA
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 11/23/09 at 07:04 PM ET
Got my clipboard and extra pencils ready.
Ha. I saw that, because I read every comment. What was that all about? I get so lost.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/23/09 at 07:04 PM ET
HJ, Chief And Jeff, thanks for the heads-up
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 11/23/09 at 07:04 PM ET
Thanks for the backup support there Chief.
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 11/23/09 at 07:04 PM ET
Oh well, one off. I’d love to see a rematch later in the season where Kronwall pulls a Kronwall Havlat style on Laraque. Fauxing bitch.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 11/23/09 at 07:04 PM ET
Evenin folks. Who gets injured tonite?
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 11/23/09 at 07:04 PM ET
Leino
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/23/09 at 07:06 PM ET
Evenin folks. Who gets injured tonite?
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 11/23/09 at 07:04 PM ET
Nate - - you Bastard 
I’d say - - shut whore mouth - - but that is too subtle.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 11/23/09 at 07:06 PM ET
Ha. I saw that, because I read every comment. What was that all about? I get so lost.
Just Gramps being Gramps again, Chief.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/23/09 at 07:06 PM ET
Dmac looks all distinguished and shit.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 11/23/09 at 07:06 PM ET
Mac looks extremely professional. I am impressed.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 11/23/09 at 07:06 PM ET
If we want to win tonight, we should definitely try to score more goals than the Predators.
I remember Ray Lane saying once that the Red Wings were undefeated when leading after three periods
Posted by rock & rye from Cartersville, Ga on 11/23/09 at 07:06 PM ET
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The kid in me who became a Wings fan because of Steve Yzerman and a Lions fan because of Barry Sanders in 1990 (to astoundingly different results these past two decades) watching Stafford do that yesterday was the closest I have seen a Lion come to the towering presence of The Captain in a long, long while.
Lord it was nice to see. That kid is gonna grow up to be a special one if he keeps that up. And I think I could really get behind a Smith.Stafford/Calvin/Pettigrew-led offence. It even seems like that offence, in a year or three, could be ... scary.
Okay, enough Lions talk. No Kronwall—no problem. You think the Big E is salivating imaging that juicy extra PP ice time? Probably.
Posted by JordanHR from Toronto on 11/23/09 at 05:23 PM ET