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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome:

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The Ultimate Springtime Cliche

by IwoCPO on 03/19/07 at 11:44 AM
Comments (25)

Yes, dammit. I know there should be one of those little French accents over the “e” in cliche.  You got the point.  And you know what it is already.  Oh yes, it’s time to bring back the daily...."if the playoffs started today” update.

So, if the matchups hold true (which we know they most certainly will NOT), here’s how it would look, and how it looks is bad indeed.

(1) Bubba v. (8) Calgary
(2) Anaheim v. (7) Minnesota
(3) Vancouver v. (6) Dallas
(4) Detroit v. (5) San Jose

If that’s not enough to make you splatter your monitors with whatever is still in your bodies after a St. Patrick’s Day weekend, I don’t know what will.  I just can’t stress enough that a matchup with The Team We Don’t Speak of is not what we need in our lives. 

But then again, who the Hell DO we want? Despite the disaster that bodes with a San Jose series in the first round, what happens if the Wings actually win the West?  Calgary?  Oh, good.  Yes, let us have Kiprusoff.  Exactly the remedy for a team already fetal at the thought of a first-round series with anyone other than Midland High School.

But that’s no guarantee.  Nope, because the ‘Dique are moving.  Ted Kulfan told me so.

Don’t look now, but the Colorado Avalanche are gaining considerable ground on the Flames. That could be a very tight Calgary team the Wings play Tuesday evening. And, who would you rather play in the playoffs? A slumping Calgary team, or a red-hot Colorado team? My vote, and I’m a little surprised I’m saying this, is Calgary. The Avs never lose anymore.

Who would I rather play?  Do you even have to ask?  C’mon Ted.  Are you serious?  “The Avs never seem to lose anymore.” Oooooh.  My god, if Bertuzzi’s healthy against Denver?  A series against the Dive is exactly what the Wings need in the first round to shake the trend. 

So there are now two things we need to hope for: (1) The Wings need to secure the 1.  (b) The Dive need to continue “never seeming to lose anymore.”

Man, just the thought of an entire playoff series devoted to exposing Dive fans for all their flaws...it makes me so happy, so very happy.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink

Comments

Pick on Dow High School, not Midland High.  MHS has better colors!  smile

Posted by Baroque from Michigan  on  03/19  at  12:32 PM

Poor Terry Frei.  A Colorado-Detroit series would mean he’d have to give up his good seat in the press boxes (not to mention his prime parking spot at The Can) to Woody Paige. 

Woody could sit right next to Wojnowski, both trying to BS each other into believing that they’ve been secretly following hockey all season long.

Posted by O-Joe  on  03/19  at  12:40 PM

Bah, that did make me spew on my monitor.  I missed the Vancouver game this weekend, I was in the Twin Cities where much to my dismay, I couldn’t find great NHL coverage.  Awesome WCHA coverage though...sigh.  Must repeat my mantra, “too early to worry about playoff matchups, too early to worry about playoff matchups.”

I would take Dallas, Calgary, Diques, and Minnesota as possible first round opponents (and not necessarily in that order).

Oh and there is something worse than Woody Paige (though not by much) and that is the always over-dramatic Mark Kizla.

Posted by hockeychic  on  03/19  at  12:47 PM

The whole first-round crap is a waste. You have to beat the best to get there, and frankly, it doesn’t matter what round it happens in.

Winning a round is good for a team like Nashville. For me, the Wings losing in the first round is just as good/bad as them losing the conference finals. Either way, they aren’t going to the Cup finals.

Let Bubba raise first round playoff series victory banners to the rafters. We shouldn’t care about that garbage here.

Posted by Nathan  on  03/19  at  01:05 PM

Hey, at least Midland has hockey teams.  As good or bas as they are, they still make the attempt to play some hockey.

Posted by cementslinger from Midland MI  on  03/19  at  03:35 PM

Not sure why you call the Avs the Dive… I don’t think anyone who roots for a team with Pavel Daytsuik can legitimately call another team the dive. smile

Good Point on Kizsla he’s the typical “The sky is falling” one day to “This team is the greatest” the next who kills me in sportswriting. I like Paige though, mainly because he likes to agitate you Chicken Wings fans. Neither is as good as Frei.

Don’t forget if the Chx Wings play the Avs, well all the pressure is on the Wings. The Avs are completely content just getting to the playoffs and will be playing with nothing to lose. The Red Wings on the other hand have nothing to play for. Win and it was expected, lost and they’ll be grilled in the press.

Posted by Colin from San Jose, CA  on  03/19  at  04:21 PM

Thinking maybe you got it backwards, IWO…
The question should have been:  Is there any team in the W/Conf. that would not rather play the Wings first.

The Wings have a history of being a pushover in the first round.

I also think it is hilarious that none of the Analysts have picked up on the fact that Nashville has quietly been assembling (last 3 yrs) the most impressive line up of playoff performers in the NHL.  With Vokoun and Mason and their current stacking of playoff performers, who exactly is going to beat them 4 out of 7..??

Posted by Gramps (hockeytowntodd) from HockeyTown  on  03/19  at  04:55 PM

Gramps: you and I see it 180 degrees differently.  I say, with Vokoun and Mason in net who isn’t going to beat them 4 out of 7?

Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC  on  03/19  at  05:01 PM

Time will tell, and one of us will apologize.

Posted by Gramps (hockeytowntodd) from HockeyTown  on  03/19  at  05:06 PM

Apologize Gramps? That sounds awfully Air Force Blue of you.  Let’s take it a step further.  I’ll bet you right now that Bubba loses their first round series, unless they play the Dive.

Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC  on  03/19  at  05:09 PM

Datsyuk’s a diver Colin?  Nope.  Not many are stronger on their skates than he is.  He’ll get drilled in the playoffs, but he’s no diver.

And pressure?  Playing the team you’ve dominated since the 7-0 debacle in ‘02 alleviates most of that pressure.

Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC  on  03/19  at  05:11 PM

You’re right Datsyuk’s really strong on his skates.. which is why he shouldn’t fall off of them every time a stick touches him.

That’s the point.. You’re SUPPOSED to win. You were winning the matchups when they had good teams in ‘02 and ‘03. Now that they have a bad team you should really dominate them. The Avs, on the other hand should be happy to be in the playoffs. They shouldn’t care about winning the first round, and none of our fans care. We just want to make it.

Of course you should have dominated Edmonton last year too, another team the Chx wings have dominated recently.

Posted by Colin from San Jose, CA  on  03/19  at  05:25 PM

IWO, I went to the Joe for the last time in Feb. for a CHI game.  My son browsed the souvenirs for something for my grandson and they had an authentic red wing jersey on sale for $50.00 because it had Legacy on the back.  My thoughts were:  What a great gift for Bill.  My son is going back for the ANA game and he is instructed to buy that sucker for me if it is reduced to $35.00.

Since the playoffs at this point are a bunch of what-ifs:
What-if I am lucky enough to get that jersey.
What-if the Preds make it to the second round (forget the Avs, they will crash and burn).
What-if you post a picture of yourself wearing that jersey, just before you ship it back to me.

or

a drunken sailor Legace tattoo would serve just as well.

Posted by Gramps (hockeytowntodd) from HockeyTown  on  03/19  at  05:37 PM

Bubba won’t win the Cup, but I think they’ll finally get that “First Round Series Champs!” banner that they’ve been longing for.

Posted by Nathan  on  03/19  at  05:44 PM

That, Gramps, is a bet!

Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC  on  03/19  at  05:52 PM

Nashville might want a “Central Division Champion” banner even more than a first round win in the playoffs.  I remember reading somewhere when realignment was being discussed that many non-traditional markets were against it because there would be fewer divisions, and some of them saw a division champ banner as a valuable marketing tool for appealing to the fans.

Posted by Baroque  on  03/19  at  06:07 PM

Of course you should have dominated Edmonton last year too, another team the Chx wings have dominated recently.

Define “recently.”

Detroit and Edmonton split the regular season series last year.  The previous season (03-04)saw the Wings winning two with the other two ending in ties.  In 02-03, the Oil took two, Detroit won one with one ending in a tie.  I’d hardly call that dominating. 

Maybe you meant back in 2001-02 when the Wings took three of the four?  Or maybe you should have just quit while you were ahead and not mentioned anything about Edmonton.

Posted by O-Joe  on  03/19  at  07:12 PM

My son browsed the souvenirs for something for my grandson and they had an authentic red wing jersey on sale for $50.00 because it had Legacy on the back.

Izerman and Hazek jerseys are pretty cheap too.

Huge sellers down south.

Posted by HockeyinHD  on  03/19  at  10:49 PM

Sorry I meant SHOULD have dominated recently wink

Posted by Colin S. from San Jose, CA  on  03/19  at  10:55 PM

That’s the point.. You’re SUPPOSED to win. You were winning the matchups when they had good teams in ‘02 and ‘03. Now that they have a bad team you should really dominate them. The Avs, on the other hand should be happy to be in the playoffs.

Someday someone is going to have to explain to me how any team is ‘supposed to win’ anything in a capped league.

Sad as it ought to be for Dive fans to admit… this isn’t 2000.  The only real excuse a team can have for not making the playoffs is having cheapskate owners.  Beyond that it’s either the players stinking or the organization stinking… and neither of those reasons ought to mean it’s okay for a team to either sneak in and get pummeled or not even to make the playoffs in the first place.

Sure, back when 6 teams were spending 50+ mil and 11 teams were spending less than 30 I can see the expectation game being played.  Now?  Forget about it.

So, Dive fans can pretend to take whatever degree of solace they want in just making the playoffs, or only missing by a little, or whatever cockamamie bit of ham and slam logic they’ve cooked up for themselves, because at the end of the day (or season) they’re just putting lipstick on their 5 o’clock shadowed transvestite of a franchise.

Posted by HockeyinHD  on  03/19  at  11:00 PM

Hey we have a GM who could buy his way into anything before the lockout. He wasn’t suited for a post-lockout world.

So now we have Theodore, Brisbois, Turgeon, Leopold Laaksonan and Konawalchuk eating up $12.8M in cap space this year. That’s 6 players that have contributed almost 0 to the Avs this year. When you can spend as much money as you want you can eat those salaries and absorb those bad contracts, as LaCroix used to do. When you have 29% of your cap space eaten up by non-contributing players your team will suffer. 

When you can’t go over the cap those contracts bite you in the ass. It wasn’t “cheapskate owners” but it was mismanagement and not knowing what would be good in the “New NHL”.

Posted by Colin from San Jose, CA  on  03/20  at  11:05 AM

As if there is even a 1% chance that the Wings will make it out of the first round, no matter who they play.

Posted by Thomas  on  03/20  at  02:05 PM

Maybe just maybe bert will be a big flop? you wingie fans are putting alot of stock on (if he plays) the guy hasn’t done squat since he snapped. (and you cats are already saying hes going to be great)

Posted by Cupster33  on  03/20  at  07:29 PM

So, Dive fans can pretend to take whatever degree of solace they want in just making the playoffs, or only missing by a little, or whatever cockamamie bit of ham and slam logic they’ve cooked up for themselves, because at the end of the day (or season) they’re just putting lipstick on their 5 o’clock shadowed transvestite of a franchise.

Ohhhh pllllleeeeaaaasssee Typical text book spoiled wingie fan banter i will wager your were having your diapers changed for ya when the wings sucked.

Posted by Cupster33  on  03/20  at  07:36 PM

It’s amazing to me that Wings fans can continue to beat their chests and gloat over their continued “success” when they play in by far the easiest division in the West.  With the exception of Nashville---a legitimate Cup contender, no bs---the Wings have it easy.  Detroit should play a full season in the Northwest, and face Vancouver, Minnesota and Calgary eight times each.  That’s no easy task.

Considering the cap and the new bs division-heavy schedules, it’s amazing Colorado remains as competitive as they are.  When the Central becomes more than a two-team contest, THEN you can gloat and brag.  Until then all you have to be proud of is 8 wins over Chicago.  Wow.

Posted by Joe from Denver  on  03/26  at  02:41 AM

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