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Twice The Vomit
by IwoCPO on 09/05/09 at 08:38 AM ET
Comments (98)
I’m not sure what makes me want to throw up in my mouth more, the absolute guarantee I’m making right now that UM is going to lose to Western...or this,
Veteran goaltender Dan Cloutier, out of hockey last season, will attend the Detroit Red Wings’ training camp (Sept. 13-15) on a tryout.
Cloutier, 33, who contacted the club and asked for the tryout…
So...of all the teams Cloutier could have contacted, he chose the Wings? Or did his agent, if he still has one, do a mass fax saying his boy was on the hunt for a team?
Kyle at Babcock’s Death Stare is all over this.
And he frigging despises it, as he should.
I could not hate this any more than I do. Yeah, it’s a tryout, but still. I hate this from a personal standpoint and a management standpoint.
Personally, I don’t think I’ve ever made fun of a goalie more than Dan Cloutier, as our friend at Dan Cloutier for Vezina will probably attest to after I post this. It’s not that I hate the guy per say, I’m sure at one point I did, but he does suck. I always felt he was the weakest link on some average to strong Canuck teams. During the glory days of the Naslund/Bertuzzi tandem, Cloutier held them back with his soft goals, poor mental game, and well below average goaltending ability.
But from a managing standpoint I absolutely hate it. It better be nothing else than just having an extra warm body in camp. I don’t see why you need it — for months they’ve been talking about how this is finally Jimmy’s time, and he’s been talking up the past week about how he’s ready for this, so now they invite Cloutier to camp. Hopefully it’s just Todd Bertuzzi doing the guy a solid. I can’t express to you how much I do not want Cloutier to do well and earn a contract.
Onward.
Hippy Dave’s fired up.
While I hate to do so, it has become apparent to me that I now have to hold off on my auto-renewal of NHL Center Ice and plan on changing services to another provider such as Comcast (which owns Versus, btw). I’m not happy about it and I’d rather not do it. So, what I propose here is a good old-fasioned letter-writing campaign.
The Deke continues with their summer preview of the Wings. Yesterday was Nik Kronwall.
...the dude rang a shot flush off the crossbar that would’ve tied the Seventh Game of the Finals. How nut-wrenching is that? That has to mess with a guy’s head. I bet it’s like a Pavlov’s dog situation—every time the oven timer goes off or a kid rings a bell on his bike he thinks of the *ping* from The Crossbar and immediately starts peeing on people (For the record I’m definitely talking about Nik Kronwall here and not about something that happened to me last Sunday at a family reunion).
For the record, I think Kronwall’s going to have a huge (if healthy) year. I’m predicting at least two suspensions.
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Comments
Howard could implode at any moment, and if the Wings think Larsson/Pearce/McCollum aren’t ready, Cloutier might be an option.
A crappy option, but an option.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazil on 09/05/09 at 08:01 AM ET
I actually know Cloutier’s agent pretty well...he’s also Osgood’s agent, so read into that what you will.
Posted by Greg on 09/05/09 at 08:11 AM ET
Dan 80 foot bouncer Cloutier? Jeebsus &%$%^&*() Christ.
Just the thought is terrible, nevermind the idea of seeing him in Red & White even if it’s only at training camp.
Best case, he does “ok” at training camp we make an offer to him & then he accepts a deal with the Hawks.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/05/09 at 08:20 AM ET
Best case, he does “ok” at training camp we make an offer to him & then he accepts a deal with the Hawks.
It is not going to happen unless Cloutier can channel the CMOI and play his face off in camp.
Typo in my last post:
coming to a theater NEAR you:
Greatest Freakout Ever, the Epic Trailer
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/05/09 at 08:25 AM ET
Miss Baroque is boycotting this team with Big Bert on the roster, this outta really drive her batshit.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/05/09 at 08:29 AM ET
I’m actually ok with this. It’s training camp for f*ck’s sake. The wings could invite Michael Jordan to skate with them during training camp and it doesn’t mean shit. No way Cloutier makes this team. If anything, I hope his being invited to camp scares the piss out of Jimmy Howard and he plays like Patrick Roy without the desire to put men’s dicks in his mouth.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/05/09 at 08:39 AM ET
As if Jimmah needed 1 more bitch-slap from the Wings that they don’t have confidence in him, bringing Cloutier in to provide competition for Jimmah to make sure he earns his back-up spot on the roster should sure do it. 5 years since drafting him last year they still thought little enough of his potential that they brought in Conk Block, which was a great move for the Wings (I’ll miss his “what a dumb sh1t question” post game interviews).
So now at 6 years after draft the message from the Wings is “Dan Cloutier just might prove to be a better option than J. Howard.” WTF?
Does Howard get motivation from this or say “just go ahead and trade me now if that’s what you think of my potential.”
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 08:51 AM ET
Howard could implode at any moment, and if the Wings think Larsson/Pearce/McCollum aren’t ready, Cloutier might be an option.
A crappy option, but an option.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazil on 09/05/09 at 09:01 AM ET
I think the message here is that Howard ought not to think that the backup job is automatically his. There are other options out there and he could be replaced, if not by Cloutier, then by someone else via trade or signing.
Also, introducing a little pressure in the form of competition during training camp might be a good way to find out if he’s mentally sturdy enough to stick with the big club.
Posted by Bio on 09/05/09 at 08:54 AM ET
If Howard can’t outplay Dan effin’ Cloutier in training camp, then I’d like to know before the season starts so we can get a more reliable backup… like a cardboard cutout of a crossing guard holding up a STOP sign.
The guy’s gotta know at this point he’s at the put up or shut up part of his career. If he’s not mentally tough enough to handle this, then he’s not mentally tough enough to be our goalie. Nobody with fewer than ten games worth of NHL experience has the right to assume that they’ve got a spot on the roster without competition in camp.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/05/09 at 08:59 AM ET
I think after being on the leash for so long, Howard is hungry to prove himself. He better be, or he will find himself on the outside looking in. If Howard does fail spectacularly, I expect McCollum to get the callup, I just don’t see talented goalies waiting to be signed at prices we can afford. Hence we get scrubs like Cloutier trying to get a chance.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/05/09 at 09:01 AM ET
I agree, we need to hold Jimmy the Kid’s feet to the fire here. He’s out of time and there’s a fork in the road ahead.
He was second best at the collegiate level 2 years in a row losing the final, least I thought so.
Either ya have it, or ya don’t. I don’t see Cloutier as any sort of option… then again this has been the year of last ditch bailouts in general (shrug).
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/05/09 at 09:14 AM ET
but you’ve now caused me a crisis of identity...as an observant Jew and a rabid, Jew-hating scumbag Red Wings fan, I may just implode.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/04/09 at 03:21 PM ET
This reminds me when Krusty The Clown found out that he really was not Jewish, “ I used to think that I was a self-hating Jew, but it turns out I’m just anti-Semite. “
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 09:15 AM ET
Awesome Seaner, another “Wild Child” attendee, lmao.
My daughter (17) somehow became a big fan of The Doors and has read a couple of books ab Jim, so we had to go as by coincidence we were in SoCal for a conference I had the following week.
I don’t know if he was drunk but he had a beer or two at the back of the stage ala Jimmy, although he usually had whisk(e)y plus whatever else was coursing through his veins. This guy wasn’t bad, he recited Morrison’s poetry and writings during the songs, and a couple of times just disappeared off the stage to let the other 3 just wing it instrumentally. I think they’ve been doin’ this a long time.
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 09:22 AM ET
I think the message here is that Howard ought not to think that the backup job is automatically his. There are other options out there and he could be replaced, if not by Cloutier, then by someone else via trade or signing.
I’m pretty sure he gets that by now. Say what you want about the kid, but he’s been around long enough that I think he’s earned his shot. To play enough games that the cobwebs are gone, and we get to see what he really is all about.
Seriously though, what would a Red Wing season be without goalie drama? (for the record I’m not concerned about this. Won’t be unless he’s offered a contract.
Posted by ITDeuce on 09/05/09 at 09:22 AM ET
I agree with JJ, there’s no way that Cloutier makes the team.
This, to me, is just more along the lines of what they’ve been saying since they signed Eaves, Williams and Bertuzzi: they’re fostering competition. They want everyone on the roster to have played themselves onto the roster. We all know that realistically the Wings don’t want Larsson and McCollum to be forced into an NHL role, so they need SOMEBODY to try and push Howard a little bit, and we also need someone who, if he outplays Howard, would have a cap hit the same or lower than Howard’s.
Posted by Garth on 09/05/09 at 09:22 AM ET
LMAO. What separates A2Y from the rest of Kuklas Korner. Read the headlines at the Main page, all respectable…
“Wild will make offer to Sykora”
“The Art of Shot Blocking”
Then this,
“Twice the Vomit”
hahahahahaha lmao,
Hail Chief !
Hail The 19 !
Hail Bacon !
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 09:32 AM ET
“Wild will make offer to Sykora”
Is that respectable?
About The Jimma!, I’m really annoyed by his attitude. “I’m ready to be the backup” is not good enough.
Heck, backup? You’re a human being, stop being political and just say “I know it’s a longshot but I’ll work hard the start every motherfecking game this season, that’s what I really want”.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazil on 09/05/09 at 09:50 AM ET
Actually Guilherme that is what Jimmy is saying.
via Mlive.com:
I want to come out there and play every single night. So I have to prove to the coaching staff and management that I’m capable of playing so I can get more ice time.
Posted by John W. from pulling fish out of a hole in the ice on 09/05/09 at 10:00 AM ET
Posted by John W. from Lansing, MI on 09/05/09 at 11:00 AM ET
Thanks, guy. MLive is off for me (go figure...), so I just went by the headline “Red Wings goalie Jimmy Howard says he’s ready to prove he deserves backup job”.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazil on 09/05/09 at 10:07 AM ET
As for the Cloutier thing, I just hope his asking for an invite isn’t a part of a revenge scheme on his part for Lidstrom ruining his career.
Note to Red Wings security, if you see a disturbed looking man trying to enter the dressing room with a pipe in his hands DON’T LET HIM IN.
Posted by John W. from pulling fish out of a hole in the ice on 09/05/09 at 10:13 AM ET
I hope his being invited to camp scares the piss out of Jimmy Howard and he plays like Patrick Roy without the desire to put men’s dicks in his mouth.
Awesome. But knowing Cloutier, he’ll find a way to get women’s penises in him.
Whatever. Zero risk and potential for surprise happy ending, the best kind.
Posted by Osrt on 09/05/09 at 10:14 AM ET
Maybe Cloutier’s psychologist told him to call the Wings and be around Lidstrom.
You know, like those women that fear cockroaches and doctors tell them to enter a room full of bugs.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazil on 09/05/09 at 10:17 AM ET
he’ll find a way to get women’s penises in him.
Posted by Osrt on 09/05/09 at 11:14 AM ET
You never disappoint me.
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 11:44 AM ET
Hail Bacon !
Yes it’s International Bacon Day. Say it with me, mmmm bacon.
International Bacon Day is a new tradition, but one that’s sure to live on. We invite you to join us, the Royal Bacon Society, in celebrating the holiest of all meats
There doesn’t that make all this Cloutier nastiness more palatable?
Hey MO...you in the woods yet. Caught a good show on bowhunting elk in Montana last night. The season must be close.
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 09/05/09 at 11:46 AM ET
Opps, I left out a question mark. Don’t want the Punctuation Nazi’s after me. Here’s one....
(?)
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 09/05/09 at 11:47 AM ET
O M G !!!
International Bacon Day ?!!!
http://internationalbaconday.blogspot.com/
Bacon Day is a day of Bacon… think Iron Chef but all day and the secret ingredient is Bacon. Breakfast traditionally consists of bacon waffles, with a side of bacon
hahahahahahaha
I just had my traditional weekend 1/2 pound of bacon and India Pale Ale Brunch (today’s bibe was Lagunitas “HopStoopid” Ale, 102 international bitterness units, awesome).
This could be the greatest holiday ever, and I didn’t even know about it, Thanks Rum.
Applewood Bacon-Stuffed French Toast with Citrus Maple Syrup
Recipe
OMG
There are no words to describe this BACONJEW:
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 12:05 PM ET
Baconjew...that’s hilarious.
“Tactical Bacon”...who knew!
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 09/05/09 at 12:09 PM ET
hahahahaha
bacon bra
bacon vest
is there a bacon jock strap? could encourage fellatio, one more reason to love this holiday.
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 12:13 PM ET
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 12:19 PM ET
and just to show that nhl.com are not the only morons in the media....
when is 36 - 4 NOT .900 ?
dumb a** espn..
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 12:26 PM ET
Homer: I’ll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o’clock shadow made of bacon bits and a bacon body.
I loves me some bacon. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 09/05/09 at 12:45 PM ET
Something that just showed up in the mailbag was for BROOKLYN BREWERY’S new “bacon beer”.
Bacon beer. Sounds like a winner to me.
I just checked out the Baconjew link from RWBill.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 09/05/09 at 12:53 PM ET
When did Kris Draper start writing for espn? check out this pic
http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/news/story?id=4444035
Posted by RWBill from the engine room feeding The Hasek. on 09/05/09 at 12:57 PM ET
Save freakouts, like this one, for the serious business. I now present to the 19 my long-weekend gift:
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/05/09 at 08:57 AM ET
That is one great and hilarious freak out. Great little brother there.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 09/05/09 at 01:11 PM ET
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!=Lets Go Red Wings!!!!! Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 09/05/09 at 01:13 PM ET
10 days and counting Rummie. Once I get back from Sweden, it’ll be getting “just right”. Cheers.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/05/09 at 01:13 PM ET
Is there something about Howard’s game that the management doesn’t like?
Sometimes they seem to be looking for an alternative to him. Do they want him to play one more year in the AHL so he can get alot of work?
Posted by Lindas1st from New England on 09/05/09 at 01:23 PM ET
He can’t go back to the AHL w/o clearing waivers. It’s sink or swim time.
Posted by John W. from pulling fish out of a hole in the ice on 09/05/09 at 02:39 PM ET
Dammit. International Bacon Day is nearly over and this Jew has frittered it away drinking store-brand porter and watching true crime. Maybe I can contribute this lit’ tidbit:
Or perhaps I should leave the heavy-duty tactical bacon to guys like RWBill, who drinks 102 IBUs for breakfast. My hop sense salutes your intestinal fortitude, sir.
I’m not ruling out this being Dan Ellis trying out for training camp. Knowing the pain of giving up a forty-foot knuckleball to Lidstrom too, he used the cunning disguise of Cloutier in order that Bubba not find out about him playing away from home. Maybe he’s sick of first-round losses or missing the playoffs completely and wants to come to a contender.
Or maybe it really is Cloutier and he’s around simply to put a bug up Jimmy’s butt. Lord knows he isn’t good for anything else.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/05/09 at 03:14 PM ET
This is a lot of Internet ink for a lot of nothing. He’s not playing for Detroit. Ever. He was done seven years ago and we all watched it happen.
If anything, this tryout only serves to make his pimp Marc Crawford grumpy in Dallas.
Everyone get off the ledge.
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 09/05/09 at 03:45 PM ET
Bacon bacon bacon.
To all the people who have deer meat in their freezers, if you haven’t grilled bacon wrapped deer steaks, there is a void in your soul that has an easy fix.
Do it this weekend, and thank me later.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/05/09 at 04:35 PM ET
if you haven’t grilled bacon wrapped deer steaks,
Well, I have the bacon.....
MO?
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 09/05/09 at 04:55 PM ET
10 days Rummie, not that I’m counting or anything.
I hear the ones with spots on them are nice n tender..... 
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/05/09 at 06:00 PM ET
Is there something about Howard’s game that the management doesn’t like?
Sometimes they seem to be looking for an alternative to him. Do they want him to play one more year in the AHL so he can get alot of work?
-Lindas1st
I wouldn’t read much into this move. They signed Cloutier to a tryout, they didn’t sign any of a number of viable free agent goalies to a contract. They’re not looking for an alternate, they’re potentially adding a backup plan if Howard can’t hack it playing 30+ games in the NHL for the first time in his career.
Posted by ChrisinA^2 from the University of Michigan on 09/05/09 at 10:24 PM ET
Your a brave man, RWBill.
From the Lagunitas website: “Hop Stoopid Ale: So Hoppy that it threatens to remove the enamel from one’s teeth.”
http://www.lagunitas.com/index.html
Wild Child’s not too bad, especially whilst drinking under the California sunshine (or at the Whiskey).
I celebrated Bacon Day by having . . . bacon. I’m sure my heart will thank me later.
Posted by Seaner in Sharkville on 09/06/09 at 01:10 AM ET
if you haven’t grilled EVERYTHING wrapped in bacon, there is a void in your soul that has an easy fix.
Fixed.
And I let it slide when RWBill mentioned good ol’ American hops, but I’m going to have to put a stop to it now. You’re making me long for ass-kicking American IBUs, none of this delicate floral pansy-ass European ‘bitterness,’ and I’m not sure where the hell I can find imported American beer at 10 AM on a Sunday.
Chris, it’s a matter of semantics, but I don’t think they’ve signed Cloutie Dumpling to anything, or ever will-- he’s been invited to camp on a tryout basis, and there is no obligation to hi whatsoever.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/06/09 at 02:44 AM ET
the absolute guarantee I’m making right now that UM is going to lose to Western
You owe us all… BACON
Posted by monkey from Second prize is a set of steak knives on 09/06/09 at 05:42 AM ET
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Get down off the ledge, Chief. There is an outside chance at best at Cloutier making the team, and it was Cloutier himself that asked for the camp invite. At best the Red Wings are lukewarm about the idea.
Save freakouts, like this one, for the serious business. I now present to the 19 my long-weekend gift:
First watch what happens when Penguins fans have children:
Greatest Freakout Ever
Once you’ve digested that little bit of angst, imagine if it was coming to a theater new you:
Greatest Freakout Ever, the Epic Trailer
The makers of World of Warcraft and the Pittsburgh Penguins remind everyone to use a condom if you are going to get frisky this long-weekend.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/05/09 at 07:57 AM ET