Abel to Yzerman
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Want A Real All Star Game Gary? Here You Go…No Charge
by IwoCPO on 01/23/09 at 09:28 AM ET
Comments (24)
I can’t take credit for this idea, but I dig it and I’m going to tell you all about it anyway. I read this suggestion somewhere yesterday as I was browsing the various blogs where Wing haters were sobbing about this and this. I’ll try to track down who mentioned it yesterday and give credit where it’s due. Also, it’s been done before...back when hockey was hockey and Gary wasn’t in the picture.
Here’s the idea: Next year, when the Wings are defending their twelfth Stanley Cup title? Select an All Star team who will play the Cup Champs.
Joey T. and Gary’s Baby Boy and Jarome and Chrissy and the girls in Chicago? They’d be texting and BFF’ing all summer getting ready for this one.
You don’t think that will get some viewers? You don’t think the Bitter Brittle Bitch Blues fans won’t be just a little eager to tune in for the slight chance that one of their own can actually contribute to defeating the Wings in a semi-meaningful game? Denver? Nashville? Columbus? Chicago? PITTSBURGH?
Oh yes. They’d watch.
And you? Holy hell…how much fodder do we need? I swear to god you’d have to frigging give me a security detail if the Wings were to win that game. We’d have to lock this place down because I’d be making some serious enemies. You think the Anti-Wing crowd hates the 19 now? And, yeah, take it from me, they really do. Wait until the Wings lay waste to a collection of the league’s best on Gary’s biggest stage.
Awesome.
Oh, logistics would be tough. How are you going to get representation from 29 other teams? Don’t care. Figure it out. How are you going to fit them all on the bench? Don’t care.
This idea is so good. The PR could be so easily accomplished. I can see it now.
A slow zoom from the net cam right to Homer’s rear, a tremendous Independence Day shadow in the crease. Voice over: “This ass has been a menace for too long. Now, finally, one man has decided enough is enough. Brought to you by Gary Bettman, it’s the NHL All Star Game: The World Against The Wings.”
And then a close-up of Homer, a pause, and this: “We will bring pucks with us and punt them behind men who try to hurt me with wood or graphite.”
Just an idea Gary. A simple thought. Give me the ok and I’ll run with it.
Might want to let the Wings know soon, though. January rooms in the Bahamas usually fill up about a year out.
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Comments
Great idea but the injury issue would be a huge problem for Detroit or whoever was Cup champions. I guess you would have to play the game in the Cup winners rink which means the game wouldn’t get moved around too much and never to warm and sunny places like Florida and LA….....
I think they could still go with the neutral site Kevin. I definitely don’t see a drop-off in interest or attendance.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/23/09 at 09:49 AM ET
The only part I worry about is that with the salary cap / parity / help-us-keep-up-with-the-Red-Wings environment that it would be pretty horrible to see some Cup defenders take on an all star team. Tampa Bay in 2005 against a fully loaded team? Murdered. Carolina in 2007?
Posted by scsgoal31 from Huntington Woods, MI on 01/23/09 at 09:55 AM ET
I would worry for the Defending Champs (Wings). The spirit of no-touch, flag hockey that the ASG is would be lost and I fear that many players would take hard runs at the team that so easily embarrassed them the spring prior.
Posted by ColdWar on 01/23/09 at 10:00 AM ET
And then a close-up of Homer, a pause, and this: “We will bring pucks with us and punt them behind men who try to hurt me with wood or graphite.”
You are in fine form, these last couple weeks.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 01/23/09 at 10:06 AM ET
That’s hockey history. Little Gary wants to do it like they did in BASKETBALL!
Posted by TheUsher from Joe Louis on 01/23/09 at 10:16 AM ET
Needing every team represented is the dumbest thing ever. If there are more deserving players on teams already represented, the more deserving player should be added to the roster. That’s part of what makes the current ASG a joke to me.
Posted by halomasterd4n on 01/23/09 at 10:16 AM ET
I think they could still go with the neutral site Kevin. I definitely don’t see a drop-off in interest or attendance.
especially considering that, regardless of the location, they wouldn’t allow Detroit fans to buy tickets…
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/23/09 at 10:17 AM ET
Such negativity. It has been done before and with few injuries. It was also a good example of of skills and the game of hockey.
If you really get the “stars” and not use the popularity poll that is now in force, the game will be a skill game and not the usual tripping, slashing, boarding crap that is now the NHL.
While it is nice to have the fans involved in the selection, it enables mediocre players to be invited. It is nice for the fans but bad for the game.
Posted by Ted from Innisfil, Ontario on 01/23/09 at 10:18 AM ET
Hell, since it’ll only be an exhibition game, I say do it outdoors too.
Also, saw on the main page TSN’s recap of the top 10 penalty-shot goals of the first half. I was starting to get worried that we’d get shut out of that too. I should have known that there was no better choice for #1 than a play simply called “goal”.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/23/09 at 10:36 AM ET
So is checking allowed? How insane is the game going to get? Would the attitude be all-star-esqe or would detroit leave with 3 injured players? great idea if you want to really hurt the defending cup champions. atleast it would make it more equal.
Posted by DrW from Detroit on 01/23/09 at 12:31 PM ET
I’m putting you all on notice.
Although I do allow stupid people into heaven, I’ve gotta draw the line somewhere.
And this is it.
Posted by God from Heaven on 01/23/09 at 12:48 PM ET
Why would playing a physical “All Stars vs Cup Champs” game be different that say a playoff game? Or any of the 82 regular season games? Take your shots at the “soft’ Euro laden Wings. Thats how you beat them… Right. Ask Calgary, Nashville, Colorado or Pittsburg. To take it to the WIngs physically, the opponents are altering their game plan before the game is even played. Fine with us. We’ll play the same game and system regardless of opponent.
An “all star” team has little formative time to practice etc. against a team that’s been practicing and playing more than 1/2 a season by the time the ASG rolls around. Adding in a little hitting would make the exhibition game have the appearance of a real game. And the possibility of an “all star” getting hurt is easily as likely as someone from the Cup Champs.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/23/09 at 12:49 PM ET
Hell, I’d watch! I would also have a hard time finding anyone hockey-minded in the city who wouldn’t.
Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 01/23/09 at 12:50 PM ET
Have you seen this yet?
The league is now threatening suspension of any player declining the ‘honor’ of playing if they don’t sit for at least one full game before or after the ASG.
Posted by gusoline on 01/23/09 at 12:52 PM ET
Just drop the ASG.
Use the winter classic for this purpose with real teams and a real game.
Posted by Laker from ROCKSTAR on 01/23/09 at 12:59 PM ET
No way they suspend Datsyuk who was injured during the game. Also, this league doesn’t have the balls to tell Nik Lidstrom that he’s suspended.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/23/09 at 01:12 PM ET
Have you seen this yet?
The little nazi has struck again. Screw you. Gary. Ass.
Posted by calquake on 01/23/09 at 01:14 PM ET
Also, this league doesn’t have the balls to tell Nik Lidstrom that he’s suspended.
Well, they might have the balls to tell Dick Lindstrom he’s suspended, though.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 01/23/09 at 01:17 PM ET
Why would playing a physical “All Stars vs Cup Champs” game be different that say a playoff game? Or any of the 82 regular season games? Take your shots at the “soft’ Euro laden Wings. Thats how you beat them… Right. Ask Calgary, Nashville, Colorado or Pittsburg. To take it to the WIngs physically, the opponents are altering their game plan before the game is even played.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/23/09 at 12:49 PM ET
MaterfondlingtheVnowski wants credit for that idea since he has the ultimate manifesto on how to beat the Wings.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 01/23/09 at 02:29 PM ET
My grandpa, who is computerless (poor guy) and is wintering down in Florida rarely swears and has to get his Red Wings news from me. But when I told him about Bettman’s edict to suspend all players skipping the ASG and about Crosby, he said, “It figures that that little shitass would run to Montreal with his tail between his legs. That is total crap, Bettman can’t make up a rule like that arbitrarily so late in the season. I say skip it anyways, Lets see if he has the balls to suspend Lidstrom. If he tries I guarantee you that Illich will put on his foot down and start to slap Bettman around a bit.”
That was such a poetic and beautiful work of art from a 79 year old man than I couldn’t help sharing it.
Posted by sola_gratia on 01/23/09 at 03:37 PM ET
That was such a poetic and beautiful work of art from a 79 year old man than I couldn’t help sharing it.
Posted by sola_gratia on 01/23/09 at 03:37 PM ET
Let’s hear it for “Gray Power”.
Posted by calquake on 01/23/09 at 04:57 PM ET
Chief,your brainbox has been in a state of hyperstimulation for the past 2 weeks the 19 applaud you.. I think that it should be the wings vs the rest every year. What the hell. They jack up the price of tickets at every arena we visit allready. Why not this ? I hope cindy and Gary the Ass have a good time playing hide the kielbsa in la jackatorium this weekend while the boys sip mai-tais on the beach.
Posted by rn dave from greenville south cackalakee on 01/23/09 at 10:54 PM ET
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Great idea but the injury issue would be a huge problem for Detroit or whoever was Cup champions. I guess you would have to play the game in the Cup winners rink which means the game wouldn’t get moved around too much and never to warm and sunny places like Florida and LA….....
Posted by kevin from boston on 01/23/09 at 09:46 AM ET