Abel to Yzerman
We’ll Watch The White Doves Go, Bubba. That’s What You See In Houses of the Holy.
by IwoCPO on 04/15/12 at 09:40 AM ET
Comments (662)
It’s a 5-game series now, Bubba. Three of those games will be at Detroit’s Joe Louis Arena. It’s dirty and the stairs are sticky. Working people go there and they drink cheap beer sold expensively. You have Vince Gill with a stupid t-shirt, we have a statue of the greatest hockey player in history. You have two skanks taking stupid pictures pretending to be Shea Weber. We have eleven Stanley Cup banners hanging from the most prolific rafters in the United States.
It’s back to the Joe where the team you face today didn’t lose for 23 straight games back when they were healthy.
The same JLA where you’ve never won a playoff game. Not one.
There are no train whistles at the Joe. There are no catfish…but we know why you throw them down in wannabeDetroit don’t we?
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GDT - WC Quarterfinals, Game 3: Red Wings (1-1) host Predators (1-1) (12:00)
by Jeff OKWingnut on 04/15/12 at 09:02 AM ET
Comments (14)
DET (1-1) return to the Joe with home-ice advantage in a strange series. During the regular season, DET were the leagues best team at 5-5 play, and special teams were the Wing’s achille’s heel: 16.1 PP% (22), 81.8 PK% (18). Yet, in this series, DET have 2 PP goals (game 1), and all of NSH’s scoring has been at even strength (0-12 on the PP). DET have goals by Homer, Hank, White, Emmerton, and Moose (off a Disco Stu shot). In the Game 1 loss, DET put37 SOG, in the Game 2 win, DET managed only 17 SOG.
Uncle Mike has a message for the invisible Moose: “He has the ability to be a big-time player. Being a big-time player at this time of year is real simple. A lot of guys have regular-season success and can’t have any in the playoffs, just because they’re not gritty enough and determined enough. They need more space and when there’s no space you’ve got to make your own space, you’ve got to dig in and find a way. So he has the tool set and he’s always found a way to do that and we need him to do that again this year.”
Moose may be invisible, but Serial Killer, Magic Ticket, TPH, and Hank have come to play, big time. Game 3 at JLA, NSH are 0-6 at the Joe in the playoffs. LGRW
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Digging Game 2: Krupa Channels Puzo, Uncle Gramma Talks Daddy, Custance and Climer Talk Sense
by IwoCPO on 04/14/12 at 04:37 AM ET
Comments (33)
Where to start, where to start. How about with you, Dirk Hoag? How’d you feel about a Game 2 loss to the team you used to love but now hate because you moved away and forgot what loyalty means? Nah, we don’t really care what you have to say. But, that doesn’t mean your readers are any less brilliant than usual. Check out this ditty.
My dad brought up a good point…
Detroit played about as best they could…
Preds kinda sucked tonight….
We still almost came back….For what its worth…
We’ll be okay guys, lets not act like its 3-0 them
Fan since day 1!
by JBoogie22 on Apr 13, 2012 10:33 PM EDT via iPhone app reply
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You Don’t Have To Call Him Mister, Mr. The Whole World Calls Him Hank.
by IwoCPO on 04/13/12 at 05:30 PM ET
Comments (722)
Talent isn’t going to win this series, because talent alone gets its face plowed into the glass by a brain-dead Pronger disciple. Talent gets bent over by a guy who used to have heart and guts but now gets slapped around by Mo Greene. Talent alone doesn’t win jack squat in this league. Not anymore. Not when forces beyond talent’s control dictate so much. Gary Bettman doesn’t appreciate talent unless he’s allowed to fawn over it. Talent means exactly nothing unless it bows at the fuzzy slippered mid-afternoon feet of the shrew joke of a commissioner who runs this farce of a league.
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GDT - WC Quarterfinals, Game 2: Red Wings (0-1) at Predators (1-0) (7:30)
by Jeff OKWingnut on 04/13/12 at 07:33 AM ET
Comments (47)
Round 2 of the main event is tonight in NSH. In the immortal words of Michael Buffer,Let’s Get Ready to Rumble. Welcome to the league that ass-clown, Gary built; quite literally a three-ring circus. 17 penalties called in game 1. You’d have been whistled for skating the wrong direction, you see the NHL is cracking down for the playoffs. But try to drive a guys head through the glass, break his lid; no problem there. In this league then, it is okay to target the opponents head, just so long as you don’t succeed in “apparently injuring” the opponent (note however, it is okay to break their helmet in more than one place). I’m going to try this line of so-called reasoning next time I’m in Court defending an A & B case; your Honor my client did try to put the victim’s head through the wall, twice - - but the victim wasn’t hurt.
Onto to the under-card. Helm is done. Nyquist in and to the 3rd line. Miller down to the 4 line. Since I’m no pharmacist, I’d appreciate insight as to why the disappearing Moose trick remains on the 2 line.
Who the fuch knows what to expect next? The Wings get marks for effort (Stu had a bad night, but he shouldn’t be a -3, he did score one).
LGRW - screw the NHL.
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Sale of Shanny’s Soul Is Final
by IwoCPO on 04/12/12 at 01:56 PM ET
Comments (66)
Brendan Shanahan, you are nothing more than Gary Bettman’s bitch. You’ve sold out to The Agenda and you’re wrapped in a soiled nighty made of hypocrisy.
How do you spew the wholesome all year? How do you get in front of the cameras where you’ve always pined to be and literally claim that head shots are the number 1 priority of your office…and then fine Shea Weber $2,500 for what he did, with two hands, to Hank Zetterberg’s head?
When Shanahan was directed by the midget commissioner, the absolute worst in all of sports, to swallow hard and continue the Anti-Wing campaign Bettman’s soaped himself in for more than a decade, he should have quit. He knew it. We know it. Everyone in hockey (fans, writers, execs) all know it: this decision was as laughable as it was predictable.
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Game 1: Regular Season Regularity
by IwoCPO on 04/11/12 at 10:42 PM ET
Comments (66)
Two goal deficit. Nothing from Franzen. Assloads of bad calls from Bettman’s top-notch crew, with the midget in attendance.
And it’s a damn good thing you didn’t “overpay” at the deadline for a mediocre, low-impact player like Gaustad, Kenny.
February 28th, unfortunately, is all Wing fans can point to right now (or maybe Franzen’s contract?). And you deserve the scorn.
And at the end? Weber elbows Zetterberg, then slams his head into the glass. Gary? Shanny? We’re watching.
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Live From BubbaKahn(!)....Surrender To The Stress
by IwoCPO on 04/11/12 at 05:00 PM ET
Comments (861)
If you’d forgotten, now’s the time to recall every bit of it. Every bone job from Gary’s officials. Every missed open net. Every center ice goal, good and bad. Now’s the time to remember the mangled faces, ankles, eyes and the punishment levied on others who deserved it, like Pronger.
Back into the breach, my friends. Right back to the place we hate the most.
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There Is A God: Helm’s In
by IwoCPO on 04/11/12 at 01:17 PM ET
Comments (17)
From @johnkeatingfsd
Babcock: “Helm is playing”
Hell. Yes.
More from Keating…
Babcock: “Helm puts everyone in right spot. Great bottom six scoring all year, his return puts everyone in right spot.”
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Looking For Gospel? I Got Your Gospel
by IwoCPO on 04/11/12 at 12:34 PM ET
Comments (24)
Ready. Set. Vomit. Because here we go. Let it fly and watch it stick. Swirl it, spew it, fling it, aim it.
I’ve already written the Live Blog. It’s sitting there until 5pm EST. I’m going to give you three hours to attack it before the puck drops in Little Gary’s experimental hockey city. The city that Dwayne Klessel claims he saved. The city where Terry Crisp is actually considered smart. At 8pm, 20 thousand people in the state of Tennessee will care about hockey…the ones standing and blowing things inside that arena. The rest of the state couldn’t care less.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
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GDT - WC Quarterfinals, Game 4: Red Wings (1-2) host Predators (2-1) (7:30)