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Life Lessons from Leafs Nation, Plus Darren McCarty Wants to Autograph Your Phone Book
by Alanah McGinley on 07/25/08 at 03:03 PM ET
Comments (3)
Mike Ulmer of MapleLeafs.com is using his column this week to—theoretically—write about the wedding of coach Ron Wilson’s daughter. But Ulmer has been inspired by the wedding in unexpected ways. He’s explored everything from the joy of weddings (breakneck conga lines! and “bridesmaids, draped in exotic, impermeable fabrics”!) to the strange value differences between Canadians and Americans.
And on that topic, here’s some of what he’s come up with:
- Americans like to call each other “Baby” when they’re in love. “That’s the thing about Americans. Not the only thing, just one thing.” (Yes. There are other things.)
- Americans have ‘zero gravity lawn chairs’ and are adept at building tiny “invigorating” springs into your shoes. (Wow. So futuristic down there...!)
- Americans allow you to use paper towels in public washrooms. Canadians, apparently, force you to use electric hand dryers.
The paper towel talk segues into mention of men meeting in public washrooms in Atlanta and talking about electric hand dryers… (I’m a bit vague on the details; read it yourself). But all things considered, that might be the most entertaining thing I’ve read on the Leafs website all year.
In other strange news, Darren McCarty is available to autograph your phone book this afternoon. Seriously.
AT&T announced yesterday that in honor of the Red Wings Cup victory this year, the team will be featured on the cover of the Yellow Pages Business directory. The books are being delivered state-wide next week.
Exciting stuff—after all, who wouldn’t be excited at the prospect of Darren McCarty’s face on 2.5 million books? Not that he’ll actually be on the cover, mind you, but he’s front and center for the first promotion.
The announcement was accompanied by the promotion that McCarty will be available tonight to sign autographs and “celebrate” those phone book covers.
Darren McCarty will be signing autographs from 4-6 p.m. To receive an autograph, guests must have a wristband, which can be picked up at the Hockeytown Café merchandise stand beginning on Friday, July 25 at 11 a.m. Limited number of wristbands available on first come, first served basis.
People are always making cracks about Detroit being dangerous, dark and seedy. Bah.
“Dangerous” sounds pretty exciting compared to the thought of hundreds of people lined up to get Darren freakin’ McCarty to sign their Yellow Pages on a Friday night.
You sure know how to party, Detroit! 
Filed in: dumb stuff | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
Tags: darren+mccarty, hockey+fans, ron+wilson,
Comments
I think that you’re just jealous of our phone book parties. Next, we crazy U.S. Americans from Detroit will be having a Maps For Us party, with Andreas Lilja signing, “JOE LOUIS ARENA HERE” on State of Michigan maps--in Swedish, no less!
Posted by George James Malik from South Lyon, MI on 07/25/08 at 06:10 PM ET
I spit on Canada!
No, seriously, I can spit onto Canadian land from my apartment in Detroit. I do it all the time just to make sure you haven’t gone anywhere during the night. Creepy Canadians.
Baby is only my fourth favorite term of endearment for my
1) Girl
2) Boo
3) Biziatch
4) Baby
Surprisingly, I have no significant other at the moment and am accepting video applications through your local Adult Friend Finder location.
Posted by Osrt on 07/26/08 at 01:36 AM ET
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About Canucks & Beyond
Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003, sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen. In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla’s Korner, Alanah is one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast, as featured at Canucks.com.
She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.
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And that tells me I should never, ever bother to read the Leafs site, Alanah.
“Baby”? Gag. No one I know uses that term. “Shmoopy” would be less annoying. Maybe the lady on the phone was a Wings fan. Yeah. Talking to Darren baby about phone books.
Posted by Amy from Land below Canada on 07/25/08 at 03:00 PM ET