Kukla's Korner

Canucks & Beyond

Next entry: My Career Guidance Counselor Failed Me

Previous entry: Working Script: TSN Drama

You Can’t HANDLE the Truth!

The Bertuzzi/Crawford story all over the ‘net today has felt like an episode of deja vu as it reminded me vaguely of something else from the moment I read the first reports.  But it wasn’t till I read this headline and opener on TSN that it finally clicked:

image

Sound familiar? No?

It’s that overused theme of sports-equals-war I’m talking about.  To make it clearer, Jack Nicholson has kindly offered to help me with a very light re-write:

image

Familiar now? Mystery solved.  Perhaps not exactly the same as the movie, but you get the idea.

And here’s the lost theater poster:

image

P.S. My apologies to any purists who object to the military rankings Jack and I chose above. 

Is Crawford a Colonel? (I can’t say I know what he should be in this instance.) Is Bertuzzi a Gunnery Sergeant? (I just liked “Gun” in his rank.) Does PFC refer to Private First Class as I intended? (Totally pulled that one out of my ass, I’m afraid). 

The fact of the matter is, I don’t actually know wtf I’m talking about what it comes to US military ranks. I just know there’s a lot of douchebags in the plot of this movie. smile

Filed in: dumb stuff | Canucks and Beyond | Permalink
 Tags: a+few+good+men, marc+crawford, steve+moore, todd+bertuzzi,

Comments

Pharazon's avatar

Crawford has the same freaking hair as Jack Nicholson did in that film. The coincidence is just freaky

Posted by Pharazon from England on 08/19/08 at 02:54 PM ET

Kate from Pa.'s avatar

The coach is the one that runs the bench. Teams are are a reflection of their coaches philosophy, work ethic, and such. But, there is also being accountable for your own actions. To bad for Bert that he didn’t disobey direct orders, and left Steve Moore alone. I respect the “code” but Crawford did not pummel this guy to the ice. Bertuzzi did. He just took it too far. Although there may be culpability here on Crawford’s part, it was ultimately Bert’s choice to do what he did.

Posted by Kate from Pa. on 08/19/08 at 02:56 PM ET

Avatar

I’m willing to bet that Crawford ordered the Code Red.

Posted by Sabresfan on 08/19/08 at 03:13 PM ET

Avatar

i love hear-say!

Why don’t we just have a constant camera filming the coaches actions as well as a planted mic on the bench.  Then we can review it, like HQ does for instances like Pronger’s skate stomp, and judge accordingly.  And THEN we’ll have it on tape, but people will STILL argue about what his intentions were.

- rant complete.

ps.  the entire post above was sarcasm.

Posted by LOUiE from Cowtown on 08/19/08 at 03:25 PM ET

Avatar

its always appeared to me that Bert did exactly what the team and Crawford wanted: responded to Moore’s cheap hit on Naslund—the situation only got out of hand when Moore landed badly and did real damage—not Bert’s intent but the consequence of his actions, not Crawford’s intent but the consequence of his actions, not what Moore intended but a consequence of his actions....
I’d have a lot more respect for all involved if they came clean and accepted that Bert was enforcing the code, Moore left himself open to retribution by his cheap shot on Nasland, Moore was never an elite player and Bert is big but was never an effective enforcer.
Settle this out of court.  Not going to happen of course because that will cut the lawyers out of the loop.
First casualty of war is always the truth: noce link Alanna.

Posted by graham from shedden on 08/19/08 at 05:37 PM ET

Avatar

The freaking “code” called for Moore to fight someone, and he did - earlier in the game.

Bertuzzi was acting like a spoiled athlete in any other sport (football and basketball are notorious for it in the US) who has never heard the word “no” because the high school coach needed him to start at quarterback the next game so the team would win.  They never had to learn to control themselves because the adults never asked them to, so why should they learn to behave when they grow up?  They never had to before in their athletic lives, once it became clear they had a talent that the adults wanted to keep on the playing field more than they wanted to discipline the kid for anything.

-------

Crawford does bear a scary resemblance to Nicholson.  I wonder if he does impressions?  smile

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 08/19/08 at 06:30 PM ET

Avatar

Hey here’s a thought all these years later. The code?  If the code was in place wouldn’t this have all be over IF Moore had been smart enough to lose the fight with Cooke in the first round. Ummm errr period.

Tell me dear Alanah.  If Colonel Crawford told you “Do NOT go out there an punch the lights out of that scumbag piece of s*%t.” Would you be thinking he was or wasn’t telling you to make a player pay for having attempted to take out your all star center, captain and friend?

Posted by Terry from WestVan on 08/22/08 at 04:39 PM ET

Avatar

At the risk of furthering a potential flame war...let’s not forget what Bertuzzi did.  He sucker punched and tackled a guy from behind. That form of violence happens in many games, the only difference being that in this case the injuries were horrible.  What Bert did was awful, but with just a bit of luck, Steve Moore doesn’t hit the ice that way, 2 other players don’t jump on the pile and nobody talks about this attack after the weekend highlite reel has been run.
Was it a pretty disgusting attack on a guy that clearly wasn’t interested in fighting, absolutely, but nobody will ever convince me that Bertuzzi intended to seriously injure Moore, or that he’s some kind of animal because of this.

Posted by Dev from Victoria on 08/25/08 at 03:46 PM ET

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Name:

Email: (optional)

Location:

URL:

Smileys

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?

Submit the word you see below:


Feed

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Canucks & Beyond

Alanah McGinley has been blogging hockey since 2003, sharing opinions, rants and not-so-deep thoughts with anyone who will listen.  In addition to writing Canucks & Beyond and helping manage Kukla’s Korner, Alanah is one of the founders and co-hosts of The Crazy Canucks Podcast, as featured at Canucks.com

She has contributed pieces to FoxSports.com and the New York Times Slapshot blog, as well as other stray destinations in cyberspace.

Email:

Alanah’s Twitter: Not really hockey-ish. [LINK]

image

image

Other Canucks Blogs

Get this widget!

Get this widget!

Not Just Hockey

Archives