Entries with the tag: impending+alcoholism

Canucks Fan Survival Guide

There was this memorably-dumbfounded look on Zach Stortini’s face at one point on Saturday night, long before his Oilers succumbed to the Vancouver Canucks.  It was late in the first period, and he had just chopped a slash on some random Vancouverite in his path. 

As the ref stopped play to indicate Stortini’s upcoming 2-minute detention, he looked around with the bewildered air of a 14 year old kid having just been busted for reading dad’s Playboy collection… while knowing that it was only minutes earlier that he’d been randomly setting houses on fire all over the neighborhood.  It was as if to say, “Huh?? You’re seriously busting me for THIS?”

He had a point. Stortini went through that first period like a serial killer building a criminal resume.  Finally nailing him for that slash was something like dropping Al Capone for tax evasion—and not nearly as rewarding as just pistol whipping him would’ve been. 

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Ohlund is Resurrected and the Thrashers are Going Down

On Monday, Mattias Ohlund returned to Vancouver unexpectedly for undisclosed personal reasons and missed Tuesday night’s game in Dallas.  Then on Wednesday, he suddenly went missing from the Canucks active roster, only to return to the list several hours later.

This unexpected development caused bazillions of CDC forum posters to nearly crash the message boards with dreams of Hossa coming to Vancouver, and other related fantasies. (I believe several were even debating matters like the value of trading Ohlund for Wade Belak.  Seriously.)

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