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Abel to Yzerman

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50? No Worries.  Pronger?  Punk Ass.  Taking Live Blogs To A Whole New Level…Starting Tonite.

Heard this before?  I think you have.

Detroit has not suffered the fabled Stanley Cup Finals hangover that struck the Ducks last year and apparently is hampering the Penguins this year. One reason is that their best player didn’t spend half the season wondering if he still wanted to play.

Nice. And unique considering it came from an OC Register writer.

We’ve always been of the mild opinion here that Scotty Niedermayer, a “captain”, royally screwed his teammates by waffling for several months last year and essentially holding “his” team hostage while he sat out the boring months waiting for the fun to start.

We’ve also held a somewhat shared belief that Chris Pronger is a sack of sh** goon who’s been overrated for years and resorts to scumbag thuggery and flying elbows aimed at the heads of players half his size. 

Mark Whicker, who wrote the ditty above, doesn’t come right out and agree with that sentiment, but he does throw a nifty little jab at Sasquatch in another paragraph.  Wanna read it?  Awesome.

When two hockey teams believe in puck possession and meet each other, the laws of physics (as Chris Pronger would say) dictate that only one can have it. That’s why it’s so compelling when the Red Wings play the Ducks.

Oh, and before we go any further...an explanation.  My 6-year-old has recently become attached to the term “awesome.” She’s got different inflections, usages, tones.  All that stuff.  So, because I’m also a child, I’ve taken to using it a bit much.  I’ll get over it. Bear with me.

50 shots?  49, whatever.  Close enough to fifty to be fifty.  40-16 after the first period.  Now that is frigging staggering.  Disgusting, really.  But so bad that it’s almost laughable, considering how well the Wings had been playing literally right up to those final two periods.  If any game can be forgotten this year, that might be it.  Did it hurt my soul to sit there and watch the Wings get treated like Darren Garcia in a Denver alley?  Yes. It did.  But, that was the exception and I’m glad to see the overreaction to it hasn’t been too severe.

And speaking of idiots who find gutter humor and constant “V” references hilarious? Well, it’s time to ramp up the juveniliciousness (better than any word you’ve ever made up Razor) even further. I’d like to run something by you.  Starting today and perhaps ending tomorrow, we’re going to have a Live Blog highlight of the day following every game.  The comments on the live blogs of late have produced such classic lines, immature even by our standards, that I feel an obligation to give the best of them a little staying power.  Like what Chief, you asked?  Which ones stand out?  Well?

Yes. Well.  This:

Marty seems to have forgotten his safe word.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/12/09 at 08:30 PM ET

So simple, yet...just so perfect.  I thought it then and I’m thinking it now. I wish the line was mine.  I do.  In fact, sooner or later, you’re all going to forget who said it and I’m going to take credit for it.  Oh yes I am. 

So we’re going to pick the best of the best.  Every frigging day, culled from the brilliance of the Live Blogs.  And that’s how we’ll compile our end of year greatest hits post.  Awesome.

And the 19 member who wins the most? Well, you’ll get something special. So special.

Oh, the competition will be so intense. 

Would you like to judge?  Would you like to participate in deciding which one-liner is deemed the best?

Too bad.  I’ll be making that call.  Too much work to gather several and ask you geniuses to vote on it. 

Well, on second thought.  I kinda dig that.  Until the playoffs when the comments reach the thousands.  Alright.  We’re gonna try this.  Starting tonite.

Maybe that will be enough to keep me awake.  Christ. I slept through the entire second period of the Columbus game the other night and that started at 1930. 

Live Blog, obviously, tonite.  Seger’s on tap.  Only one choice.  Hollywood Nights.  The only song for midwestern boys on their own. 

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

     

SYF's avatar

ckinoc wrote:
Two comments:
1. I hope the Ducks can at least make more noise against Detroit than Ducks fans did on Sunday’s game against the Devils.
2. Wings players don’t contemplate whether they want to come back and play. Their problem is that they DO want to play. But are all so old, so they have to beg to stay on the team and not be replaced by younger players. LOL…

Taken from the OC Register link.

“Old?” Again?  Oh jeez....gotta love what the SoCal sunshine frying their V is turning that group of imbeciles into:  dumber than a brickshit.

Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 01/14/09 at 04:51 PM ET

hockeychic's avatar

Oh boy...the Ducks on tap.  What’s the over/under on how many PIMs Pronger will take tonight?  I would love to see Pavel dish out one of his big checks to Pronger, just because it would be hilarious (and he deserves it)!

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 01/14/09 at 04:58 PM ET

Nate A's avatar

I expect to see Hudler barking at Pronger at least half a dozen times. Gotta love the lil tyke.

Posted by Nate A from the Church of Babcock on 01/14/09 at 05:14 PM ET

Gabriel's avatar

So simple, yet...just so perfect.

If it weren’t for my detached, rockstar-like awesomeness, I’d probably admit to being giddy like a little girl over that.  I might even suggest that all flattery and recognition makes me feel like the ugly girl in school when the cool guy notices her.

But I’m way too cool for that.  I rule.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/14/09 at 05:23 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

According to KHAN(!) , Osgood is between the pipes tonight.  Maltby gets the wrath of Babcock and is a healthy scratch—Meech is in:

Update from Wednesday’s morning skate in Anaheim: Derek Meech, who’s alternated between defense and forward this season, will replace Kirk Maltby in the lineup tonight against the Ducks. Coach Mike Babcock was not happy to see the fourth line on the ice for two goals by Dallas in Monday’s 5-4 overtime loss.

“That can’t happen,’’ Babcock said.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Hades on 01/14/09 at 05:33 PM ET

MOWingsfan19's avatar

And speaking of idiots who find gutter humor and constant “V” references hilarious?

Hey, we resemble that remark!
Picking on Marty’s V for the last live blog didn’t pan out, reverting to Seger can’t hurt.

Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/14/09 at 05:34 PM ET

Kate from Pa.'s avatar

I gotta have a couple cups of coffee if I am to make the game tonight. These late games are always worth staying up for.Bitches.

Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!

Posted by Kate from Pa. on 01/14/09 at 05:47 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

But I’m way too cool for that.  I rule.

Gabe, Mr. Awesomeosity!

Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 01/14/09 at 05:48 PM ET

clemshady's avatar

But I’m way too cool for that.  I rule.

Gabe, Mr. Awesomeosity!

Actually, Rummy, I believe that he would be the ‘valedictorian of awesome school.’

Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/14/09 at 05:50 PM ET

Rumbear's avatar

...Valedictorian

Clem, that’s like, ummm, a four syllobble V!  You could strain a vocabule on that!

Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 01/14/09 at 06:02 PM ET

HockeyTownTodd's avatar

Just when it looks like we have bottomed out, the 19 hit a new low. 

May I suggest a Juvenilicity bar graph at the top of the sidebar.

Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 01/14/09 at 06:08 PM ET

Avatar

In spite of making a sacrificial offering of both Spike & Biff during the playoffs last year, here’s your link to tonight’s game, Rummy: http://atdhe.net/live-tv-2.php?i=645. Just note that it won’t be active until right at game time.

Those guys at atdhe.net do a good job of providing lots of hockey, so check out their main page at http://atdhe.net/ whenever you’re looking for a game.

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 01/14/09 at 06:24 PM ET

IwoCPO's avatar

May I suggest a Juvenilicity bar graph at the top of the sidebar.

Not smart enough to do a graph Gramps, but the sidebar’s been updated.

Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 01/14/09 at 06:38 PM ET

CaptainDennisPolonich's avatar

Speaking of KHAN! Rip, Ricardo Montalban. I hope they bury you in a coffin lined with rich corinthian leather.

Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Sunny SoCal on 01/14/09 at 07:25 PM ET

ITDeuce's avatar

Marty seems to have forgotten his safe word.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/12/09 at 08:30 PM ET

That post was MASTADONICAL!!!!

Posted by ITDeuce on 01/14/09 at 07:59 PM ET

CRoy's avatar

Hey SYF i read in a previous post somewhere that you used to take lessons at pyramid guitars in redford.. Who was your instructor? Don Scarcella?, Brad? I used to work there when i was in high school. BEST job ever!

Now lets watch some feathers fly.
Go Wings!

Posted by CRoy from Redford MI on 01/14/09 at 08:39 PM ET

SYF's avatar

CRoy.  My guitar instructor was Michael Puwal - yes, THAT Michael Puwal of Zug Izland.  He is THE most talented and caring instructor I’ve ever known. 

I remember Don Scarcella and Stu very well.  Those guys cracked me up every damn time I was there.  I miss ‘em to pieces but I can’t seem to recall a “Brad.”

Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 01/14/09 at 10:18 PM ET

CRoy's avatar

That’s awesome! that must have been a while back.  i worked there for the last two years they were open, 97 and 98 ... Puwel wasn’t there unfortunately and i dont remember a Stu. Don was hilarious though. Brad played in blackberry brandy and stand-in bass for humble pie. He was kind of an a-hole anyway.

Posted by CRoy from Redford MI on 01/14/09 at 10:32 PM ET

     

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome:

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