Abel to Yzerman
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Aloha Bitches
by VooX on 03/14/10 at 09:50 AM ET
Comments (100)
When I woke up this morning, I had to double-check the standings. I didn’t dream it. We are back in the playoffs.
The Peloton of Suck (still waiting for RWBill to update the chart) shows a small pack clustered around the seventh thru ninth spots ahead of the rest of the suckage. The Wings are in eighth place, barely ahead of Calgary who have played one less game than us.
Things are always a bit special these days while in a playoff position. The air is fresher, food tastes better, and neighbourhood pets no longer hide when they see me walking down the street.
I feel so good this morning, I’ve decided to turn A2Y over to a special “guest” blogger. I hope you enjoy, bitches.
Take it away, IwoCPO:
Aloha bitches. Literally sitting at the entrance to the Strait of Magellan. I have no idea where that is, but the ship’s navigator tells us that’s where we are so I’m taking his word for it. I do know this. Three days ago it was 80 and we were headed south. Now it’s 40 and MF’ing Antarctica is off the tip of South America. Who the hell knew that?
The adorable 8 pounder promises me I’ll be in San Diego just in time for G1, R1. Whether I’ll choose to watch that or any other mid-April hockey remains to be seen of course. If the Wings are in? You San Diego boys better be ready. I’ll be solo for the first month and looking for hospitality and warm beer.
Speaking of “seen”, I’ve seen no hockey. No Wings. No nothing. I do know about the race for 8. I know that I hit refresh on my computer for an hour last night when I knew the game had to have been over, then I hit it again for an hour this morning to try to catch just a glimpse of a score. I found it and I know where we stand, how many games are left and the way west coast trip that awaits this week. Five points out of that or we’re in trouble, is all I’m sayin’.
Hope all is well. Internet is such a pipe dream that I haven’t seen A2Y since leaving in January. If you need to get in touch with me, talk to VooX and he’ll provide you contact info. I have no doubt that H2H is ready and that you bitches are all excited and babbling like school girls. If you don’t send Herm home with permanent emotional scars then you aren’t the 19 I thought you were.
Go Wings. Bitches. Home soon.
That’s right, 19, the Chief is alive and well. As the sailors here at A2Y know, the Strait of Magellan is a handy way around the bottom of South America that avoids the very incredibly nasty waters of the Drake Passage between South America and Antarctica. Think of the Drake Passage as the nasty zone just outside of a playoff berth where no one wants to be, while the Strait of Magellan is the happy area in the playoffs full of puppies, hookers, and firetrucks.
See you soon, Raspberry. I will man my post until you relieve me of my duties, which I am sure the 19 are looking forward to.
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Comments
I will man my post until you relieve me of my duties, which I am sure the 19 are looking forward to.
No offense, but yes, VooX, we are. 
Although if the internet is just a rumour and he can’t see his own blog, I can ask here in the open - I was thinking that we should put together a scrapbook of the events at H2H as a memento since he won’t be able to attend but got the ball rolling downhill before Christmas. Unless anyone has a better idea? I was thinking a book of photos because it would be easy to store in whatever housing he has, easy to move without being crushed as military move around a lot, and not large and bulky either.
Among all the people there, some of us I’m sure are going to not only have cameras, but remember to actually take them out and take pictures, and I’m sure not all of them are going to be horrible. Combine the decent pictures and maybe some scribbled notes from the people attending and that might be a nice keepsake.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/14/10 at 10:02 AM ET
Wait, there’s a South America?
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 03/14/10 at 10:09 AM ET
Yes, there is a South America - where did you think Brazil was kept?
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/14/10 at 10:12 AM ET
Some say the Drake Passage is the biggest difference between the ‘07-08 club that won the cup and today’s Detroit Red Wings.
Good to hear from Chief again. I’m sure those of you in San Diego are looking forward to having a hockey-starved Chief in your home and drinking your beer while the Wings play in the first round in an unfamiliar road city.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 10:13 AM ET
where did you think Brazil was kept?
In the Terry Gilliam section, of course.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 10:14 AM ET
where did you think Brazil was kept?
In the Terry Gilliam section, of course.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 11:14 AM ET
One bizarre moving - excellent, but bizarre.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/14/10 at 10:19 AM ET
The Chief!
No offense, VooX, but damn, I miss our leader. Come back safe, man.
Wait, there’s a South America?
What the… Yes, there is. Our bio-fuels will save the world ( 
) and you don’t know us?
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 03/14/10 at 10:36 AM ET
Consider the person asking, Guilherme - sometimes I suspect RWBill is a little fuzzy on whether or not there is a NORTH America.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/14/10 at 10:42 AM ET
Awesome post. Great to hear from him. No offense, VooX, you’re doing a great job, but yes, can’t wait for his return.
I was thinking that we should put together a scrapbook of the events at H2H as a memento since he won’t be able to attend but got the ball rolling downhill before Christmas.
Well since he can’t see the blog, and I missed the H2H post, let’s discuss:
I actually discussed this with his wife the other day. This is what he’d like. So let’s do this, either by book or CD, or both. Kris (SnipeDangle)‘s mom is going to be at Hockeytown Cafe taking pictures (she is a professional photographer) and her photos will be available to purchase on her website so if you just want to have fun and miss something, rest assured everything will be handled. She is damn good. It was awesome of her to volunteer to handle this for us. I’m sure we’ll all have cameras but this is an awesome thing.
I also have another idea, Jenn is working on that. Email me for info, just on the off chance he *can* get on here, I’d like to keep it off of here for now. Craftalicious people need apply. Jenn can only do part of it, and if someone would like to help, I would love you forever (you are not doing this Baroque, you have your hands full). This job requires basic pasting skills. :D
There is another job I need done. Tyler and I were discussing it but I am running out of time. It is ridiculous and awesome. People in Michigan or driving who are remotely crafty please email me.
Things are good. We have over $1100 in donations and another $1300+ pledged from TPL readers. I’ll go ahead and tell you that we’re getting signed Datsyuk stuff and a signed Drew Miller jersey this weekend, and Z stuff too, so if you want your chance to win, get your $5 or more in. The BEST stuff hasn’t been posted yet.
We’re busting our asses to make sure this is the most kick ass thing ever for everyone, especially Herm. Plans are being finalized. It’s coming up fast and I am totally geeked out, I can barely sleep.
The penalty box thing is on. It’s a day of. It will be given away at Hockeytown Cafe, you do not want to miss your chance for that.
I cannot freaking wait. ALL of you have been instrumental in getting Herm here and making this rad. I totally love you guys, and can’t wait to meet you all.
Email me if you want to help with these last minute ridiculous projects (because they are totally 19ish and not at all essential but would be awesome and the Chief would dig them completely) and thanks for everything.
Posted by jennyquarx on 03/14/10 at 11:11 AM ET
I will contact you, Jen - as I am both in Michigan and driving down on that Thursday afternoon.
I think, along with the pictures (and FANTASTIC that an actual photographer with skills is going to be taking them) that, if anyone wants to bother, I can bring a blank bound book to the party and anyone who wants to write a few words of thanks can do so. I’ve been to events before where there was a book for personal notes, cartoons, etc that people could draw for someone who couldn’t be there, and it was always much appreciated by the recipient. A good addition to a book of photos.
(And I forgot that I have to desecrate a Hossa flag as my other crafty project - it’s a TPL thing - I will take pictures when it’s done.)
My house is a mess of paper, pens, scrapbook tape, and rolls of tulle right now. What fun.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/14/10 at 11:24 AM ET
Just cuz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pM-igYjn6E4
Posted by 42jeff from Minot, North Dakota on 03/14/10 at 11:31 AM ET
Jen, let me just say on behalf of, well, myself,
you are a real H2H hero.
THANKS, for being the sane one in the insanity of the 19.
Good things DO happen to good people.
And to ALL the behind the scene helpers,
chollis,
Inhyung,
mServen,
TDT,
jennemy,
mSaler,
petrella,
Baroque,
Okie,
GabPorras,
Voox,
Chief,
T-bone,
and EVERYONE ELSE,
Thank You.
L.G.R.W.
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/14/10 at 11:39 AM ET
Jen, what about “that thing”? The Wings won, we’re all in good mood, it’s Sunday…
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 03/14/10 at 11:41 AM ET
And to Cheif (that crazy guy):
We’re keeping tabs on you.
Thanks for keeping us safe.
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/14/10 at 11:42 AM ET
baroque, a scrap book would be cool, but this is 2010. make a dvd documentary! i would buy one. anyone with a camera should bring it and record as much crap as possible. throw it all together and it’s as if us transplants were actually there…
Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 03/14/10 at 11:45 AM ET
What thing? Well one thing is Herm will be chillin’ with Ken and Mick during the first intermission. 
There’s a special thing happening on Thursday too. A little behind the scenes thing courtesy of Ryan Michaels who is my favorite person on the face of Earth. When you see him at Hockeytown Cafe, give him a million props. He has been immensely helpful to us and provided us with many cool opportunities for Herm.
Thanks for the kind words you guys. Baroque, this is kind of a labor intensive project, maybe. But maybe you might have a better idea about it than I have. I would like to tell you about it anyway, it’s awesome.
Posted by jennyquarx on 03/14/10 at 11:48 AM ET
So Yahoo and NHL.com don’t have video highlights of the Raffi Torres hit on Darren Helm last night, anybody know where I can find one?
Mostly because I think the Matt Cooke talk has gotten ridiculous and mostly because I’m still angry, I kinda want to make a big deal out of that one. The only real difference between that one and the two hits people have been talking about for the past week is that Helm didn’t suffer a concussion in the hit. In my opinion, it was as dirty as any other hit laid on a player all season long and I think it’s important that people realize it’s not an isolated type thing. The more examples people can be reminded, the more likely I can hope that the league and player’s union can get something in place as soon as possible to punish these types of plays.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 11:50 AM ET
Hail to the Chief… and let’s hope things don’t turn bad where he is or it’ll be “Dire Straits”. Maybe Mark Knopfler can help him out.
Voox, you can “pinch hit” anytime as far as I’m concerned. If you can’t have 1 it’s great to have 1a.
Posted by calquake on 03/14/10 at 12:00 PM ET
Speaking of cheap shots, Ovechkin just got a five minute major and a game misconduct for boarding Brian Campbell. Wonder what the league disciplinarian is going to do about this obviously cheap hit.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 12:03 PM ET
A salute to the Chief!
Definitely looking forward to the Ken and Mick interview, as that’s the closest I’ll get to H2H.
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 03/14/10 at 12:16 PM ET
Speaking of cheap shots, Ovechkin just got a five minute major and a game misconduct for boarding Brian Campbell. Wonder what the league disciplinarian is going to do about this obviously cheap hit.
Consult the flow chart, same as usual.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 03/14/10 at 12:17 PM ET
This is Ovechkin’s second boarding misconduct of the season. His suspension is automatic at this point.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 12:21 PM ET
Voox, you can “pinch hit” anytime as far as I’m concerned. If you can’t have 1 it’s great to have 1a.
Thanks, and I miss the Chief too. It is hard to devote as much time as A2Y requires between my career and being in university again. Plus trying to balance my personal life and love life on top of that.
Time is at a premium, I do my best in the Chief’s absence, but I wish I had more time to blog around here more regularly and thoroughly. It will be nice when my only duties are sarcastic comments underneath the Chief’s posts once again.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 03/14/10 at 12:23 PM ET
His suspension is automatic at this point.
just as automatic as instigating a fight in the last 5 minutes of a game…
Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 03/14/10 at 12:24 PM ET
This is Ovechkin’s second boarding misconduct of the season. His suspension is automatic at this point.
As we discovered last SCF with Malkin, nothing is automatic in Li’l Gary and Colin Campbell’s NHL.
Unfortunately.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 03/14/10 at 12:25 PM ET
just as automatic as instigating a fight in the last 5 minutes of a game…
Posted by Twig in Houston on 03/14/10 at 01:24 PM ET
If Cooke’s hit didn’t happen and get everybody riled up, I’d agree with you, but even with what little faith I have in the league brass to make the right call, I can’t imagine them being dumb enough to not sit Ovie for his mandatory suspension.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 12:27 PM ET
Of course, I said earlier that I couldn’t imagine them being dumb enough not to suspend Cooke. Either way, Ovechkin’s hit was reminiscent of the Maxim Lapierre hit. Ovie let Campbell know he was there, but he initiated contact with his back and pushed him into the boards.
I don’t want to “soften” the game like Milbury is blathering on about, but hits like that one and the Raffi Torres hit on Helm last night have no place in hockey. I don’t care what these players get paid, it’s ridiculous.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 12:33 PM ET
Hail to the Chief… and let’s hope things don’t turn bad where he is or it’ll be “Dire Straits”. Maybe Mark Knopfler can help him out.
Voox, you can “pinch hit” anytime as far as I’m concerned. If you can’t have 1 it’s great to have 1a.
Posted by calquake on 03/14/10 at 01:00 PM ET
... with “a little help”. Two of the greats. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkrWqpymXLY
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/14/10 at 12:33 PM ET
I can’t imagine them being dumb enough to not sit Ovie for his mandatory suspension.
I can.
I’ll contact you later, Jen - I have been known to stay up until 4:00 am working on an ink drawing of an ocelot when I had an 8:00 am class the next day, so forgoing sleep in the service of crafty things is something I am used to.
I can’t stay up 40 hours straight like I did in college anymore, but replacing two hours of sleep with two litres of caffeine is still something I can tolerate from time to time.
(And was I ever ticked that I didn’t have any hallucinations after 40 hours - I was really tired and clumsy, and giggled at everything, but no teeth growing out of my computer screen or anything. Bummer.)
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/14/10 at 12:35 PM ET
i agree with you jj, i just think that the league is screwed either way. they didn’t suspend cooke and campbell said “i can’t suspend him just because he’s a repeat offender.” now if they use that “he’s a repeat offender” argument on ovechkin, they’re screwed. and if they don’t suspend him, they’re screwed.
Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 03/14/10 at 12:37 PM ET
Dear lord, Indy is so boring… This Sao Paulo race is a mess. They fauxed the traffic on the most used avenue in the city, made a suck-y track on the “Sambodromo”, and now this rain, something that even a 5 year-old knows that would happen this time of year.
I hope they give up on it next year.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 03/14/10 at 12:43 PM ET
And scrapbooks (done properly) are archival - when he’s 85 years old he can look over the pictures with his grandchildren and warn them what happens to you if you aren’t careful.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/14/10 at 12:46 PM ET
The good news about the repeat offender argument in this case is that it’s black-and-white in the rulebook. It’s automatic for a player receiving his second misconduct for the same infraction. The only way the league can get out of this is if they say that Ovechkin’s game misconduct was called in error because he has no history (like they did with Malkin). Unfortunately, they can’t say he has no history. It’s going to be incredibly difficult for the league to weasel out of a suspension in this case.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 12:46 PM ET
Here’s the specific rule:
23.5 Fines and Suspensions – Stick Infractions, Boarding and Checking from Behind Category - In regular League games, any player or goalkeeper who incurs a total of two (2) game misconduct penalties for stick-related infractions, Boarding – Rule 42, or Checking from Behind – Rule 44, shall be suspended automatically for the next League game of his team. For each subsequent game misconduct penalty, the automatic suspension shall be increased by one game.
Ovechkin received a game misconduct for boarding Patrick Kaleta earlier in the season.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/25/AR2009112504272.html
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 12:55 PM ET
Wow, it’s great to hear from the chief.
And what a great photo of him shipboard!
(He looks forlorn….like he nees the Hasek car.
Posted by w2j2 on 03/14/10 at 12:59 PM ET
It’s great to hear that the Chief is safe and doing well, hockey-deprived though he may be.
Jen, I just e-mailed you about the Top Secret Craft Project.
Baroque—I’m glad to hear that Slovakia’s Eternal Bridesmaid is involved in your project!
Ovechkin now has 200% more game misconducts than anybody else in the league this season. I wasn’t watching, but I see on Puck Daddy that Milbury’s being Milbury about it.
Posted by Lola from down by the bay on 03/14/10 at 01:21 PM ET
Wow, it’s great to hear from the chief.
And what a great photo of him shipboard!
(He looks forlorn….like he nees the Hasek car.
Posted by w2j2 on 03/14/10 at 01:59 PM ET
The pic was a little earlier in the season, on board, right after he shipped out.
He was trying to get a feed to watch a Wings game late night on the west coast IIRC.
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 03/14/10 at 01:27 PM ET
AHHAHAHAHA AHHAHAHA Chicago HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHHA
oh baby brother AHHAHAHAHHAHA…
Posted by pgoody on 03/14/10 at 01:39 PM ET
AHHAHAHAHA AHHAHAHA Chicago HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHHA
oh baby brother AHHAHAHAHHAHA…Posted by pgoody from #8 spot in the West on 03/14/10 at 02:39 PM ET
I was just thinking “Wow, they’re really killing off that 5-on-3 well.” And then…
Posted by Lola from down by the bay on 03/14/10 at 01:42 PM ET
Sammy scored his 29th and 30th (9g in last 6 gms), as Vancouver took down Ottawa last night in Vanvouver 5-1.
Calgary in Vancouver tonight (10:00 PM). Here is hoping the Canucks can hold it together for 2 nights in a row.
The Canucks have been very hot lately winning 5 of their last 6 (5 of those on the road).
Detroit plays in Vancouver on Saturday night.
——————————————————
Buffalo is very good on the boards. Almost looked like Scotty Bowman assembled that team. No wonder they have won 6 against the W/conf this year.
Detroit played a great game last night.
HNIC picked Eaves goal as the play of the night.
I expect the Sabre’s to do some damage in the playoffs if Miller can stay healthy.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 03/14/10 at 01:52 PM ET
Great to hear from the Chief! Voox, I’m definitely grateful for your standing-in for the Chief, but man I can’t wait until that guy is back.
Also, gotta love the fact that little brother just blew a 3-0 lead to an Ovechkin-less Caps. Hahaha, man I hope we draw them in a potential first round matchup when/if we get into the playoffs.
Posted by Ben Gilbert from Ann Arbor on 03/14/10 at 02:00 PM ET
Ahahaha. Little brother, way to hold onto a lead.
Posted by Ben Gilbert from Ann Arbor on 03/14/10 at 02:07 PM ET
So… earlier this week somebody mentioned that maybe Niemi was the guy the Hawks could rely on to take them through the playoffs if Huet couldn’t.
Not a very strong game for him.
I also think that Hjalmarsson looked pretty weak today.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 02:07 PM ET
What another implosion again on national TV by the Hawks.
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 03/14/10 at 02:07 PM ET
AHHAHAHAHA AHHAHAHA Chicago HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHHA
oh baby brother AHHAHAHAHHAHA…
Posted by pgoody
3 unanswered goals in the 3rd and a loss in OT…?
Sound Familiar…?
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 03/14/10 at 02:07 PM ET
3 unanswered goals in the 3rd and a loss in OT…?
Sound Familiar…?
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from the “NOT QUITE DEAD PIRATE” on 03/14/10 at 03:07 PM ET
That’s what I was thinking. Junior aspired to more Wing-like play, but I don’t think this is what they had in mind.
Posted by Lola from down by the bay on 03/14/10 at 02:08 PM ET
You’re not stealing this moment from me, Gramps. Nothing you can remind me is going to make me unhappy to have just watched Chicago implode like that.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 03/14/10 at 02:09 PM ET
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Good to hear from our fearless leader. And Chief, know that the 19 have been in good hands with Voox in charge.
I understand only Toronto surpasses the Straits of Magellan as a hockey hotbed in the world. Not a bad place to be.
Go Wings.
Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 03/14/10 at 09:56 AM ET