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Abel to Yzerman

Back To Annandale? Negative. Not Gonna Happen.

by IwoCPO on 07/22/08 at 08:39 AM ET
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Steely Dan carried me the last four miles to work this morning.  Donald Fagen advocates a California tumble into the Pacific.  Whatever. Nothing a little glue stick can’t fix. 

Meanwhile, we have issues to address.

A few things I just don’t care about.

—Like Gene Hackman said to the purest jump shooter in history, Jimmy Chitwood, “I don’t care if you play, or not.”  And I’m talking to you Mats Sundin.  What a frigging drama queen.  He’s been playing hockey all his life, and now he’s taking months to decide if it’s right for him to come back or not.  Are you telling me he just started thinking about this in June? 

I have little sympathy for hockey fans in Vancouver, and less for the fans in Toronto.  But this is a joke.  Play, don’t play, keep fishing and live out your life in comfort without a Stanley Cup.  Just end this idiotic charade.  My opinion of him dipped around the deadline, and it hasn’t improved since then.

Would my tune be different if he’d signed with the Wings on 1 July? Of course.  But I’d still take Hossa for 7.4/1 year than anyone for 20 million over two.

—I have no idea what KHL even stands for.  Yeah. I got the H and the L parts, but the K?  Radulov wants to play in Russia? Don’t care.  Doesn’t affect me.  Jagr? Tail end of a great career.  Go for it.  Don’t care.  Talk to me when Ovechkin is considering it.  Or…talk to me when Datsyuk’s deal is up, or if he decides to give up everything he’s got in the US to head back home.  Short of that?  Don’t care.  Should I? Probably, but I don’t.  Wyshynski does, and he’s got some ideas.  Me?  It simply doesn’t affect my Wings so I simply do not care.  Woops. Shallow blogger? Me? Yep.  Wing fan. Told you already.  I make no excuses.

Note:  TDeters makes a good point in the comments below.  If the KHL can somehow pose a threat to the NHL and improve our league as a result…understand.  Of course, improving the league would go hand-in-hand with firing our lame-ass commissioner.  Oh the glory, the rapture that day will bring.

—Were the ESPYs on the other night?  I heard they were.  Guess what?  More cowbell?  Nope.  I don’t give a flying f**k about the ESPYs because ESPN cares less than that about us, the hockey fan.  Were the Wings nominated for anything? I literally have no idea.  How about Game 5? 34.7 given any consideration?  I’m serious. I don’t know.  And I really don’t care.

—I don’t care that if the Tigers hadn’t choked in disgusting fashion Saturday they’d only be 4.5 games behind the White Sox.  Dammit. Alright. I do care about that.  Frigging Tigers.  How the hell did this happen?  Am I going to dive into the disaster the Tigers have become this year?  No.  But I will address something else because I’m kind of, you know, on a roll.

And here it is.  Stop with the comparisons.  You’ve read them.  Wing fans predicting more glory in 08/09, only to be challenged by the nervous nitwits who give us a “Oh, but look what happened to the Tigers…”. 

Here are a couple differences:  The Wings know how to win.  It’s instinct now.  Any kind of game.  The Tigers?  They haven’t won consistently since the ‘06 All Star break.  Pitching and goaltending.  The Wings have a solid middle to late reliever in Conklin, most likely the best backup in hockey.  The Tigers?  Holy Christ, get past the starters and we’re looking at a bonfire.  Can’t win without a closer, eh?  Damn right.  Todd Jones is the Tigers’. Chris Osgood for the Wings.  Jones used to be like Osgood.  Scary but effective.  Now? 

Big Frigging Al

I’m seriously beginning to wonder how much he has left. I know he goes through the a rough patch every season, but he’s been throwing batting practice during his last few outings. Everyone is hitting him, and hitting him hard. Even his outs are shots that just happen to be hit at someone.

And here’s something else.  The comparisons are ridiculous because the logistics are so vastly different.  Lidstrom could go down in October and remain out through April, and the Wings would still finish no lower than second in Gary’s Central, probably with a six seed at worst.  And while he’s out, up comes the big Swede. Six months of seasoning under his belt and he’ll be a machine.  Silver linings all over. 

The Tigers finish second in their division?  Done.  Can you imagine the kind of stress if the Wings were 8 points out of a playoff spot with less than half the season to go?

No, because it’s pure fantasy to even consider that scenario.  There is literally no circumstance that could result in that. 

You want doom? I’ll give you some, from the master.

The Wings summer could not be worse. In addition to tiring themselves out lugging the Cup all over the world they have re-signed Stuart and signed Hossa. Expectations have been raised to ridiculous levels. Optimism is at an all time high. Holland should have spent the summer lowering expectations rather than luring in fans with false hopes. Notice how the Pens are pursuing a strategy of pessimism. Their fans are now prepared for the worst. Wings fans meanwhile will be crushed next Spring when the storm clouds arrive. Pessimism is the truth. Let it by your guide.

That’s Doomsberry from the MLive Wing Forum.  Feel like pessismism is mandatory? There I gave you some, but spare me the comparisons between the Tigers and the Wings.  It’s not valid.

But, you say, “what about Cabrerra and Hossa?  Don’t you see, don’t you see the similarities?”

Not really.  The Tigers signed a chubby kid (who’s coming around…31 RBI his last 35 games) to a long term contract worth ungodly money to take a payroll over 138 million in a league without a cap.  The Wings signed a proven performer to a one year deal that fits well within their structure.  Hossa flops? No strong need to re-sign him?  Cabrerra flops, and I don’t think he will, and it’s a Juan Gonzalez-like disaster.

Ok. I feel a little better.  I’m sure you do too.  Enjoy your Tuesday.

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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