Abel to Yzerman
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by IwoCPO on 11/11/08 at 03:43 PM ET
Comments (45)
I’m not sure how Sidney Crosby spent his summer. I honestly didn’t ponder it. A2Y researchers from Grand Valley State followed him for a few weeks and reported back that much of that time was spent playing Chutes and Ladders at the Bettman estate with several of the other Commish-spawn.
But that’s not confirmed and I’d like to ask you up front not to comment on it, or any other assumptions we’ve made about adoptions, American Girl gift exchanges, Facebook “pokings” or the like.
It’s just not mature, and certainly not in keeping with the standards we’ve established here.
And while we’re at it, let’s not dredge up the things that make fans of the genitalia-less flightless bird (AKA: Ducks Minus Nuts) sad. Don’t bring up a “tired” Malkin disappearing. Don’t mention the French kid tripping before Game 1, the Zetterberg kill, the Zetterberg Smythe, the Kronwall assassinations. Now is not the time to bring up the past. It’s beneath you. And let’s just forget about Gary’s Baby Boy crying like a little bitch and refusing to acknowledge the Dynasty for what it’s become after Game 6.
Well, he might not have cried. But he’s most definitely a bitch, and not the complimentary “bitches” like all of us are. If that sentence confused you and made you sweaty and nervous, I can’t help you. I’m sorry.
Plus, there’s always this.
Courtesy of our pals at The Pens Blog. Charlie and his sisters contacted me early yesterday asking if I was up for a wager. I replied that I most absolutely am, but haven’t heard back yet. I’ll let you know what the stakes are as soon as I agree, which I will.
On to tonite. Franzen’s back. Cleary’s out. Lebda’s still riding and Osgood’s your starter (even though seeing 30 conk blocks tonite in a win would be fun). Malkin’s hurting, Crosby--allegedly--isn’t.
And nobody cares that Marian Hossa used to be a nutless duck. Seriously. It’s a “non-story.” Baby Bettman says so.
“We’re way past that,” center Sidney Crosby said Monday.
Good. Good for you Thid. We’re happy for you. But here’s something, if I were one to give advice to the opposition, you’d better not be “way past.”
There’s no better forward in the NHL than Hossa right now.
And there’s no line more dynamic than the one he shares with Datsyuk and Homer...a line we’d better come up with a nickname for PDQ (suggestions in the comment section and we’ll vote on that tonite during the Live Blog, brought to you by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band).
Would love to see how Therrien chooses to defend that line, or the second for that matter with Mule back.
Oh, and the power play clicking along at 30 percent? I’m sure Baby Bettman will be all psyched to put a kibosh on that...oh, nevermind. That would mean playing the PK.
Tony at The Confluence recommends we don’t buy into the hype surrounding tonite’s game. Actually, I think he’s recommending that to the Pens and their fans. Us? We buy into every bit of hype. We live for hype. We read the hype, spread the hype, stress about it and react to it. It’s who we are.
..there is Henrik Zetterberg, who frustrated Crosby to the point where he chased him down the ice and had to be restrained at the end of Game 4.
See...we dig that. Those are the kind of memories that warm us. That’s our kind of hype Ansar, thank you.
Oh, yeah. It’s just another game. But somebody’s gonna be bitching about something. It could very well be us, but I doubt it.
Hey, one more thing. All-Star game voting begins tonite. I’ve never been a “vote for” this Wing or that Wing kind of guy and I’m not starting this year. But I will say this: when you’re voting tonite, or sometime soon, remember that it’s a serious responsibility. Don’t vote one way just because the media tells you to. Don’t vote for a player because it would be “unique”. Look at their body of work, and look at what they can actually accomplish. And if you vote for someone who doesn’t deserve it? You have no room to complain down the road when their performance doesn’t equal your expectations.
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Comments
Zett’s a *#$%@&, Dat’s a *#$%@&, Oxbaad’s a *#$%@& and, well, you’re a *#$%@&, too.
Here’s to hoping there are at least 30 fans at the Joe tonight.
Do the world a favor and kill yourself, you’ll raise the mean IQ of the U.S.
Posted by Hahahaha from Helltroit on 11/11/08 at 03:57 PM ET
Nickname, heres one off the top of my head:
High-Definition. Perhaps, “chrystal clear High Definition”. That way when Ken Daniels tells you tonights Red Wings’ ass-kicking is brought to you in “chrystal-clear High Definition”, the “19” will understand the ass-kicking is brought by D & H.
Cheesy I know, but I like cheese, the seriously aged kind (like me).
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 11/11/08 at 04:03 PM ET
How about HoDaHo?
May sound funny to the opposition going into the game, but they won’t think it’s so funny after the end of regulation.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 04:08 PM ET
Oops Jeff, no FSN tonight, game belongs to Versus.
Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 11/11/08 at 04:09 PM ET
Aaannd because Versus is Bettman’s little fleshlight, guess which way that crooked stick is pointing tonight.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 11/11/08 at 04:13 PM ET
Hey a troll on post #2. We’re moving up!
Is it me or does the NHL commercial after game 6, ya know with Cindy sitting on his whiny little ass saying “this sucks” make you warm too?
I’d like to see that followed by a few seconds of his classless badgering of Z all the way off the ice. Z got in your head and shut you down, get over it.
Those are the kind of memories that warm us.
Those are the memories that make me a wealthy soul Chief.
I am all into the hype tonight. A Hossian Beastial raping of some nutless flightless birds is in order. Nope, it won’t make up for 34.7. Then again I am not sure 34.7 exists in my reality.
The beer is flowing early tonigh errrr this afternoon, bitches.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 04:14 PM ET
Bettman’s little fleshlight, guess which way that crooked stick is pointing tonight.
Towards Cindys little bottom?
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 04:16 PM ET
Those are the memories that make me a wealthy soul Chief.
Outstanding.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 11/11/08 at 04:17 PM ET
Towards Cindys little bottom?
And there will be four of those ED-sufferers on the ice tonight begging for a little attention themselves.
Go Wings!!!
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 11/11/08 at 04:21 PM ET
Just over 30 minutes till I am on the couch at home with beers and pretzels.
I hope Cindy used his Summer’s Eve so he’s nice and fresh for the game tonight.
Posted by Nathan on 11/11/08 at 04:23 PM ET
You know, it always used to bug me trying to think of who Tyler Kennedy of the Penguins reminded me of. Just the other day it hit me; Lampwick from Pinnochio!:
Separated at birth? You be the judge.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 04:41 PM ET
If we use Mickey’s nickname for Pav, we have Hossa, Houdini, and Homer on the same line...can we make some kind of pun with that...or something witty...? I dunno.
Posted by Tyler from Arizona on 11/11/08 at 04:42 PM ET
If we use Mickey’s nickname for Pav, we have Hossa, Houdini, and Homer on the same line...can we make some kind of pun with that...or something witty...? I dunno.
Then we can just call ‘em the HoHoHo line. Merry Christmas, Bitches! HoHoHo’s lighting up Rudolph’s nose again!
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 04:45 PM ET
Jeff - how about some corn to go with your cheese?
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 04:49 PM ET
Ahh… Houdini is reserved for Malkin and his disappearing act against us in the Finals. Lets not pollute line 1A with any reference to Geno Malkin, PLEASE.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 04:52 PM ET
Welcome back, Duke, and Thank you for your service.
About that name.
Well,
You got Hoss (bright eyes and always smiling)
Little Joe (smart and slippery--)
and that other guy who never said much, but when
he did...nobody could figure out what he said.
The Ponderosa
(yep, I been around too long)
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from upset when blogs dont live up to my expectations on 11/11/08 at 05:14 PM ET
I don’t know whether to put this here or under the Veterans’ Day thread, so I might do both.
Here is Mr. I’s contribution to matriculating Veterans back into the economy by helping them establish franchises at reduced fees, or if disabled, completely waving the franchise fee.
Again, thanks Mr. I, you deserve as many Stanley Cups as these guys can win and even a couple of World Series titles if Dave D can get some pitching.
http://www.qsrmagazine.com/articles/exclusives/0507/littlecaesars-1.phtml
Posted by RWBill from jabbing a six inch sewing needle into my eye. on 11/11/08 at 05:18 PM ET
With all those ads they have been airing with the Penguins and saying something like “Here’s to a hot summer spent in an ice cold arena.” I just stand there and yell, “But you still lost!” It amuses my boyfriend to no end.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 11/11/08 at 05:22 PM ET
Gasp. Check out these lines from the IWO-link above about Cleary (sorry to see that pesky Bastard not in the line up against the nutless flock).
Is it just me or do these lines just scream S-U-C-K !!!
Hudler-Draper-Samuelsson
Maltby-Kopecky-McCarty
How about Hudler-Leino-Abdulkader? something with a chance of creating offense?
Here’s hoping for a Hossa Hat Trick (HHT) against his former Bitch teammates.
Posted by RWBill from jabbing a six inch sewing needle into my eye. on 11/11/08 at 05:27 PM ET
Hossa is a Wing, not a lost Penguin asset. As of last game, Hossa has played more regular season games with the Wings (13) than he did after being picked up as a rental by the nutless flock (12).
So please, goons, stop with the “you guys poached our superstar” crying, you little bitches, you just rented him and you came up short.
And, let me say one more time, HUGE Kudos to Hossa for giving up $2 million to walk away from the birds and fit within the Red Wings system.
Tick-Tock Ken, I don’t know how you can do it, but keeping Hossa as a Wing until his retirement is imperative!
Posted by RWBill from jabbing a six inch sewing needle into my eye. on 11/11/08 at 05:33 PM ET
Bill, I could see Cooke-Staal-Kennedy giving our third-liners some trouble, but the only thing that worries me about the fourth line matchup is whether or not McCarty can last a full round with Godard when they inevitably drop the gloves.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 05:34 PM ET
Hey Bill, nice find in Mr n Mrs I there.
Mr n Mrs I are 2 of the classiest owners in all sport. Look at some of the other sports owners of “great” (or famous) teams… Raiders, Cowboys, Yankees (under Steinbrenner) etc… they all have one fatal flaw keeping them from being, or having been, a long lived absolutely dominant franchise… piss poor & heavy handed ownership. Al Davis, George Steinbrenner, Jerry Jones et al have a TON to learn from Mike n Marian I.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 05:40 PM ET
The beer is flowing early tonigh errrr this afternoon, bitches.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 04:14 PM ET
I’m on it, Boss, finishing 22 oz of Lagunitas Maximus IPA. Hope I can stay conscious for the game. I’m truly sorry that I won’t get to see Cleary nail GBB into the boards a few times.
Posted by RWBill from jabbing a six inch sewing needle into my eye. on 11/11/08 at 05:40 PM ET
Hossa is a Wing, not a lost Penguin asset. As of last game, Hossa has played more regular season games with the Wings (13) than he did after being picked up as a rental by the nutless flock (12).
So please, goons, stop with the “you guys poached our superstar” crying, you little bitches, you just rented him and you came up short.
I’ve said that twice today, but kudos on the research. Then again the facts usually get in the way of a good arguement......
I’ll pretend I didn’t see the post about the 3rd n 4th lines for tonight. or at least I’ll try to pretend until the game starts.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 05:45 PM ET
So a Slovak, a Russian and a Swede walk into a bar…
...
How about “‘The Joke’s On You’ Line”?
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 11/11/08 at 05:48 PM ET
How about HoDaHo?
Separated at birth? You be the judge.
Then we can just call ‘em the HoHoHo line. Merry Christmas, Bitches! HoHoHo’s lighting up Rudolph’s nose again!
Jeff - how about some corn to go with your cheese?Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 04:45 PM ET
Jebus ChristPuncher, J.J., you are on fire and way over my head at this point. Early odds on favorite for Poster of the night.
Posted by RWBill from jabbing a six inch sewing needle into my eye. on 11/11/08 at 05:48 PM ET
Thanks, Bill. We’ll see where it goes after I get home and get into a nice, comfy bottle of The Glenlivet.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 05:53 PM ET
Early odds on favorite for Poster of the night.
Bill, guess that leave you and I to be the beer drinkers! Speakikng of beer.... anyone else while I am up? LOL
Voox has been a monster lately… err.. sorry for the DC reference with monster Voox.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 05:57 PM ET
The Glenlivet.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 05:53 PM ET
My former father-in-law’s favorite (Brit WWII vet, RIP).
I went out in SF with some guys in August on the last night of a conference. Single malt tore me up. I’m told I walked back to the Intercontinental Hotel but all I remember is being in the lobby the next morning at 10 a.m. checked out and then vomiting into my newspaper on the shuttle bus to SFO. Damn, not proud of that.
Posted by RWBill from jabbing a six inch sewing needle into my eye. on 11/11/08 at 05:58 PM ET
Dude, I think we’re live blogging a pregame warm up here?
Either that’s freaking awesome or sad......
I’m going to get that beer now.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 05:59 PM ET
vomiting into my newspaper on the shuttle bus to SFO.
My first game I saw at JLA was similar… the taxi the next morning was dropping me off at Wayne CO airport and didn’t roll to a stop before I hurled out the door.
I thought I had a shot or 2 of tequila that night, come to find out upon further review, I had a row of shots of cheap ass tequila. LIke 10 of them & that was after the seemingly endless flow of Molson Canadians at the Joe.........
The buddy I was with will never let me live down the hurling out the rolling cab door.....
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 06:09 PM ET
A nickname for the top line, huh? Well, Pavel’s the Prince of Thieves. Homer’s the “butt in your face” guy. And Marian is Hoss. So, put that all together and you get “The Thieving Horse Butt” line. But I’m gonna have to say that probably falls just a bit short of what we’re all looking for. 
What would be fun would be to have Ken Daniels ask Homer what he thinks the line should be called. Then we can run whatever Homer says through a Google language converter (I hear they’ve recently added “Holmstromisms” as one of their options), and we can go with that. I’m guessing it’ll come out as something like the Fast-Tricky-Anal line.
Tick-Tock Ken, I don’t know how you can do it, but keeping Hossa as a Wing until his retirement is imperative!
My sentiments exactly, Bill. And what’s crazy is I don’t think he and Pavel are on the same page yet. Another 10 games and I’m not sure anyone in the league will be able to stop these two.
We all know the cap won’t be going up enough to cover both Mule and Marian next year. So, Mule better not only put up about 40 goals and 40 assists but he better be willing to sign for five years at about $5M per or he’ll be playing in Edmonton next year because I’m guessing Hossa will take a serious pay cut to stay in Detroit and play “keep-away hockey” with Pavel for the next five years or so.
Anyway, I wish I could type fast enough to keep up with all of you during the game tonight, but I’m way too old for that. I’ll be here in spirit, but my body will be in the other room enjoying Cabernet and Manwiches while I watch the Wings spank GBB and his playmates yet again. Is it game time yet?
Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 11/11/08 at 06:20 PM ET
I’m fortunate enough to still have all my memories with The Glenlivet. I wish I could say the same thing about Mr. Cuervo.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 11/11/08 at 06:26 PM ET
A certain Glenfiddich and a dangerous Sam Adams along with the deceptive Dry Blackthorn are my poisons of choice.
I’ll catch up later.
Go Wings!
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 11/11/08 at 06:32 PM ET
Thieving Horse
We’re onto something… who’s a famous horse thief? Billy the kid.??? We need to turn this into something......
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 11/11/08 at 06:34 PM ET
My suggestion for a line name, The ESP Line. If someone asks why that name as they are not their initials, respond “You’ll see, you’ll see.” That line is going to get freaky by the halfway point this season.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 11/11/08 at 06:42 PM ET
You actually think penguins reproduce any differently than any other birds do? None of them have external genitalia, geniuses, but don’t let facts get in your way. Considering your team’s named for a couple of severed appendages and a coincidental club in Montreal, I can see what you have to cling to.
And while I hate to deprive you of an iota of ego-stroking comfort, no one in Pittsburgh thinks that Hossa was supposed to belong to the Pens forever. People are pissed because leaving for the team that just beat you is a royally punk-ass chickenshit douchebaggy method of taking the easy way out. But that’s Hossa; he’s content to be an appendage; “I didn’t make the decision to be proud of myself.”
Wings win? You still have five months to stress about getting knocked out of the playoffs.
Wings lose? You still have five months to stress about getting knocked out of the playoffs.
Happy remembrances of 1994, 1995, 1996, 1999, 2003, 2004, 2006, those 42 dead years, and Game 5.
Posted by nu on 11/11/08 at 06:55 PM ET
Count me a fan of the HD line. Simple and clean.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 11/11/08 at 07:00 PM ET
I just found this blog, and I like it. But what’s the deal with picking on Homer’s speech? I think he speaks excellent English, along with the rest of the Swedes. It’s Datsyuk I’m worried about.
Also, I find it hilarious that all the live game blogging ended 30 minutes before gametime.
Posted by ilike from detroit on 11/15/08 at 09:06 PM ET
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This game is easy for Wings fans. Wings win, we get to point and laugh. Wings lose, we get to say, “2008 Cup champs? Who? What? Oh right.”
Posted by Nathan on 11/11/08 at 03:56 PM ET