Abel to Yzerman
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Farewell February
by IwoCPO on 02/29/08 at 07:04 AM ET
Comments (6)
Don’t come back. You’ve, well, pretty much sucked. January 30th? The Wings held a 17 point lead over Dallas. The entire roster was healthy. They were in the middle of an 8 game winning streak. The MSM didn’t even mention Detroit anymore because it was so clearly the Wings and everyone else. Oh, well, there was the occasional, “they need some adversity.”
I think...no, I’m positive...that we’ve met the adversity quota, thanks. Kronwall started it, because he’s Kronwall. Broken clavicle the night before this throw-up-in-your-mouth of a month began, and then the wackiness just kept on comin’. Buckets took a puck to the puss on 9 February, Rafalski’s groin gave out in Nashville three days later. Lidstrom went down the following week, Chelios four days after that, and Hasek’s hip flares because he’s 74 and that’s what happens.
And next thing you know, conference leads started to dwindle, third-period leads disappeared, secondary scoring became a secondary priority, Osgood gets yanked twice in a row, then benched. And the losses piled up. The bellows began from the restless natives. “The deadline will save us,” they yelled. But the deadline didn’t, nor should it have. Tick Tock got us a top 4 defenseman and nature slowly healed some--not all, but some--wounds.
And one month after the madness began, so it will end. The guy who started it returns with a brand new BFF on the blue line. A new brother to patrol with. Kronwall and Stuart, a combination with the potential for levying a great deal of pain upon men with flowing red hair and names that sound like trains.
“If we can have more guys like that no one’s happier than me,” Kronwall said. “And I think it’s going to help out our team a lot just having a bigger guy who can play the body.”
With the healing of Kronwall, and the arrival of Stuart, comes the return of our Czech Miracle of Insanity. Hasek’s back between the pipes tonite and, according to him, every other night, or every two nights or three or whatever, as long as he gets his two games per week.
“I need to practice well, and I need to play,” he said. “I would say I need to play twice a week to get into a rhythm.”
Ok. Sounds like a deal there Dom. You need to play. The Wings need to win...they need it badly.
Oh, February. You have truly sucked. There’s been little to like about you. Our Valentine’s Days were ruined. The weather has sapped the very life out of us. And you’ve cursed our Wings. But you’re almost gone you frigging bastard, even though you’re one day longer than usual. You’re nearly history and, frankly, we’re going to laugh at you as you recede in the distance.
Some will say, though, that you’ve had value, that you’ve made this team tougher, more resilient. I happen to disagree. I’m not much into the adversity for adversity’s sake, February. No, I’m not. Uncle Mike? He’s appeared collected as you’ve bent us over for nearly thirty straight days. But, I’m here to tell you February, you’ve had an effect on him too.
“We had a lot of good, young players in the games, and they played real well,” Babcock said. “But if you want to win every night, you can’t just have good, young players. You’ve gotta have good players.”
You’re laughing February, laughing at our coach and his vocabularial challenges. But, you may not realize that’s the most coherent thing he’s said in weeks.
Oh, we got the point. Meech has emerged. Ericsson came up and will stay. He showed us a cannon of a shot, but he also got torched in Edmonton. Jimmy Howard showed some consistent goodness, but you affected him too. His first game back in Grand Rapids he pulled an Ozzie and got yanked after giving up five.
We’re done with the adversity. We bowed to it and acknowledge its impact. But, it’s time to go February. It’s time for you to leave and take your challenges and your forced humility with you. Some stupid astrologist gave you one more day this month. But as far as we’re concerned you only deserve 28.
See ya in four years, motherf***er.
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Comments
Well… the me, today is March 1st. Because Motherf*&$kers… that’s how I roll!
Dan
Posted by ITDeuce from Michigan on 02/29/08 at 08:30 AM ET
For having St. Valentine’s day alone (what a celibate monk who was martyred on a cross by the Romans has to do with luv I’ll never know) February deserves to be cut from the calendar. Hallmark holidays bug me, none more so than V-Day. The added perfidy of February 2008 just reinforces that thought.
Looking forward to Kronner and Stuart ganging up on Carrot Top tonight.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the bushes outside a Hallmark with a flamethrower on 02/29/08 at 08:31 AM ET
Zetterberg agrees with you Chief, he told me so:
Over the course of the season, you’re going to have some tough stretches,” said Henrik Zetterberg, who leads the Wings with 35 goals but is pointless in his last three games. “But this is a little bit too long.”
It is a a little bit too long, kinda like this whole freaking month!!
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 02/29/08 at 09:09 AM ET
See ya February, don’t let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out!
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 02/29/08 at 01:57 PM ET
I have just taken the February page from my calendar and run it through my shredder so now the entire month is in teeny tiny little bitty pieces of confetti. Very cathartic.
Haven’t thought of what to do to the March page to ensure good luck yet, though.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 03/01/08 at 07:43 AM ET
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As far as I’m concerned February only deserves 14 days. Call it a 50% crapitude discount. Miserable little month.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 02/29/08 at 08:14 AM ET