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Abel to Yzerman

For The Love Of God, Hide The Kids…Bert’s Running Alongside The Devil

by IwoCPO on 12/14/09 at 05:46 PM ET
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If Son of Sam keeps scoring…we just don’t know what’s gonna happen.

Success is a powerful, powerful drug.  It can affect different men in different ways.  We’ve seen the Pipe Bomber at his best the last two games.  A force to be reckoned with, and then happy like a pogo stick after he secured victory for Santa’s Team.

But harken back a few years and we know he’s capable of…bad things.

We know for a fact that if left to his own devices, when he lets his mind start playing games with him, when loud noises start to slam from one side of his skull to the other…the darkened passageways of the Unibomber’s brain become the playground for insanity.

And we frigging DIG that.  Bunny rabbits and the warm, soft laundry you rub your faces in right after you take it out of the dryer? 

No.  No, I say.  Bring us Berkowitz, Bundy, Gacy. 

Bring us Jack Torrance and let that sick bastard take custody of the Overlook for a winter.

I want that guy on the ice, and I want him there every night.  I want him in Patrick Kane’s ear a week from yesterday, pressing him into the boards and whispering to him in a voice that makes urine freeze on his laces.

“Patty? Darling? Light, of my life. I’m not gonna hurt ya. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just going to bash your brains in.”

The signing of Todd Bertuzzi took us all to a dark place.  We might as well revel in it.  Let the bad man out Uniboozi.  Let him out.  Run with the Devil, Schadentuzzi.  Sprint with him like your hair’s on fire.

It’s a Live Blog bitches and we’re riding shotgun with a sociopath.

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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