Abel to Yzerman
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Highly Intelligent Babble
by IwoCPO on 06/04/08 at 01:26 PM ET
Comments (95)
Looking through the comments of this post today, a few jumped out at me.
First, Captain Dennis Polonich’s high-speed graph showing his work productivity during the playoffs:
G _*
O __*
O ___*
D ____*
_____*
______*
B ________*
A __________*
D ____________*
APRIL_____MAY_____JUNE
That, my friends, is the kind of technical brilliance that has made A2Y what it is today.
Next, AndrewfromwhereverthehellheisnowandformerlyofAnnArbor,
I feel, like everyone else, severely drained after that loss, and was just trying to get some time and space between myself and the playoffs, try to get things back into perspective...you know. This is a *#$%@&-up time of year.
Understand. Here’s what I haven’t read the last two days: anything hockey related other than the comments on this blog. I haven’t looked at the Deep Diggers, the MSM, any other blog. No hockey. None. I tried to look at Snapshots this morning, but George had some long frigging list of media and just the titles literally turned my stomach.
I have no idea if anyone’s hurt, how anyone reacted to 34.7 or whether Gonchar and The Warrior (Malone) are fit enough to play. I don’t know what they’re saying at Pens Blog but I can guarantee you I won’t look until after tonite. And STWLT? I won’t be looking tomorrow either.
If the game had been last night, I may not have watched it. That’s how affected I was. I’m taking this one hard. Real hard.
Now, does that mean I don’t have confidence that the Wings will take the Cup tonite? I do. I actually believe they will, when I allow myself to think logically instead of emotionally. But that is so rare. It’s happened so little since 5. I can’t stop thinking of Osgood’s skate and that little opening. I’ve got one of the greatest hockey games ever played on my DVR right now, but I may never watch it. Even if the Wings win, I don’t know that I can ever look at Game 5.
I honestly said to myself yesterday morning that if the Wings don’t win the Cup, I’ll swear off hockey for a year. I don’t know that I could handle the kind of disappointment that goes with it. I imagined watching a game against, for instance, Anaheim in December, a Wing win. Close game. OT probably. Feeling that initial rush of excitement, then immediately thinking: “It doesn’t matter how well they play now because May is going to suck just as hard as June did last year.”
I don’t even know where I’m going with this post. I truely have no idea. No one but us knows what it’s like to be 34.7 seconds (and I frankly don’t give a shit if it was 34.3, it’s 34.7 to me so 34.7 it will stay) away only to lose it.
I’m gonna watch Game 6 and we’re gonna live blog that bitch. Gordon Lightfoot’s making a return appearance and I think good things will happen. I believe it could be an evening of fire trucks and puppies, sunshine and hookers. All the good things in life.
But I’ll tell you this. I’m not looking forward to it. Not one bit. I know I have to watch it and I will. But it’s gonna suck right up until the end.
Unless the Wings blow them out. Sweet Little Adorable Baby Jesus, please make it so.
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Comments
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If my wiener was that tall I wouldn’t have had to buy a Hummer
You have to pay for them???
Don’t anybody tell my frickin wife. She doesn’t need to know that she should be gettin paid for it!
Posted by cementslinger from Midland MI on 06/04/08 at 03:14 PM ET
Hey Boys -
Just took a dump and wiped my ass with my St. Yzerman jersey, just to remind myself what a punk and a cheap shot dyke he was during his career.
I feel better now
Posted by Gimmie My Red Wings Lola! on 06/04/08 at 03:15 PM ET
Jennifer,
Not anymore, KC’s such a hotbed for puck both IHL teams have vanished. We REALLY need an NHL team, ask Gary. Ass.
The drive to STL kills me it’s so boring, and the fans there aren’t to my liking either. I see Wings games “abroad” 3-5 times a year.
JJ,
Lets do it. Seriously. Real puckheads ‘round here are non existant unless they moved from out of town. Everyone else watches some sport in a big stadium full of red but no Winged Wheels????
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 06/04/08 at 03:16 PM ET
Cementslinger - you rock! I really, really needed that. If one more person asks me about what happened on Monday night, I am going to scream. Or maybe I’ll just pretend I have amensia, “Monday? I don’t remember Monday.”
Monday is past. Now is the time. LET’S GO RED WINGS!!!!!
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 06/04/08 at 03:20 PM ET
Jennifer,
our options for watching hockey in the KC area are to drive 4-5 hours to St. Louis or drive 3-4 hours to Wichita. We do get exhibition games every pre-season. Usually Blues Vs. Predators.
MOWingsfan,
Definitely down with it, now that I’ve found A2Y, I’ll be here all the more often. We’ll get something set up!
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 06/04/08 at 03:22 PM ET
I can’t watch. I just can’t.
I’m thinking of following my normal procedure when I can’t watch the entirely of an important game - miss the first half with my other committment, try to ignore the fact by turning on the television to the National Geographic channel (or “Nat Geo” as they call themselves these days), and then keep flipping over to whatever dreck ESPN2 is showing so I can stare at the crawl until I go blind waiting for the score from the game to creep across before the commercial break.
If Detroit is behind, I will fip over quickly to the game after hitting the mute button on the remote.
If Detroit is ahead, I will be too terrified to change the channel even with the magical mute button for fears that as soon as I start watching the game, Detroit will have a penalty called against them when it was something infuriating like a Crosby flop and then I’ll feel as though it was my fault.
I’d feel better if there weren’t so many f#%$ing odd bounces the puck could take and it would behave itself, even on the surface of a Slurpee.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 06/04/08 at 03:31 PM ET
Baroque - I know what you mean about the odd bounces. The Igloo has live boards just like the Joe. The ice will probably not be good, I don’t know what the temp is in Pitt today, so where the puck bounces nobody knows, hopefully it ends up in the back of the Pens net! 
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 06/04/08 at 03:34 PM ET
turning on the television to the National Geographic channel (or “Nat Geo” as they call themselves these days), and then keep flipping over to whatever dreck ESPN2 is showing so I can stare at the crawl
ROFLMAO!
I hope you like NCAA Softball. That is all that is on this week.
Why is a softball bigger than a baseball given that the average female hand is so much smaller than the average male hand? Just wondering…
1:43 p.m. ... this day is going by so slooooowly.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Partly cloudy SoCal on 06/04/08 at 03:41 PM ET
i was feeling sick earlier, but i just attributed that to the 8 cups of coffee i had. it hasn’t gone away, and now i’m positive its me being nervous about this game. how can i be more nervous than the players? i don’t think i’m emotionally healthy enough for this crap…
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 06/04/08 at 03:44 PM ET
i don’t think i’m emotionally healthy enough for this crap…
You’re in the right place rwingscup19. I think there’s an open seat at the back of the Hasek with hockeychic and baroque and I. If you need a pacifier, there might be a few of them laying around from the last game too. (Picks one up and wipes it off.)
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 03:49 PM ET
Christy rocks. I’d forgotten about knob hockey.
This cheered me up.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/04/08 at 03:50 PM ET
“I’d feel better if there weren’t so many f#%$ing odd bounces the puck could take and it would behave itself, even on the surface of a Slurpee.”
Damn, I knew things were pretty serious around here, but now Baroque is swearing in public? I didn’t know it had gotten THAT serious 
Suddenly , I need a drink.
Ha, security word “called96”
Posted by dougie on 06/04/08 at 03:54 PM ET
knob hockey.
Funniest. Video. EVER.
In the crease… Out of the crease…
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 03:55 PM ET
Samuel Jackson Hockey Coach for Chris Chelios
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiGCHsLPdE4&feature=related
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 03:59 PM ET
Come on ladies! we dont need no stinkin pacifiers! Suppose Steve Yzerman were to come aboard the Hasek… Is this how you would want him to see you?
or…
would you rather him see you standing proud wearing a clean, unstained wing’d wheel sweater showing your support???
The boys in red are going to give their 110%, why cant we show our support for them 110%? Lets do this!
Posted by cementslinger from Midland MI on 06/04/08 at 04:00 PM ET
would you rather him see you standing proud wearing a clean, unstained wing’d wheel sweater showing your support???
What I’d rather do and what’s realistically possible for me to do are vastly different things at this point.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 04:02 PM ET
I hope you like NCAA Softball. That is all that is on this week.
I don’t even notice whatever is on, actually.
I just stare at the crawl, waiting for the little NHL letters to show up next, and then stop breathing until I see the score. Then, let’s say it is 3-1 Detroit with 9:14 to go in the second period - I am relieved for about 0.00017 nanoseconds, then start hyperventilating because I’m POSITIVE that someone on Detroit has just been called for a penalty to give Pittsburgh a five-on-two (the rules were changed on the spot by Bettman fiat) and at any second the Penguins will score three power-play goals to take the lead and so I feel sick until the next time the score comes by, and if it reads 3-1 but now there is only 8:58 left I figure that more time than that should have passed, so someone must have been hit in the face with a puck and lying on the ice bleeding and out like a light, so now the team is down a player for the game, too, and by this point I have to go pee because I’ve had most of a 2-litre bottle of diet Mountain Dew, but if I leave the room I will miss the next time the ticker comes by, and they might have a little notice about who was taken to the hospital for emergency surgery, but if I stay there waiting the channel goes to a commercial break, so then I’m watching a stupid Viagra commercial (and the one where the guys sing “Viva Viagra” is quite possibly the dumbest commercial ever written), while the game is going on just a click of the remote away, but I DO NOT change the channel, and then the commercial break is over but the ticker has just moved on the the NL scores to show that the Chicago Cubs are winning again but no matter how many times they win in the regular season it won’t matter because they are doomed in the playoffs, DOOMED, even if the only thing that can stop them is a billy-goat-shaped asteroid wiping out Wrigley Field before the Blackhawks get to play there, and I don’t want the city to get wiped out because it’s a great place to visit with the museums and the Shedd Aquarium and such ...
... sorry. My caffeine level is a little off today.
I’m a freaking nervous wreck.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 06/04/08 at 04:04 PM ET
my god, its like someone took every inspirational speech ever and combined them into cementslinger. i’m f’ing jacked up now! i’m in, i’ll put on the stevey for the last time tonight, pound some brews and keep a running list of everyone i know that says anything bad about the wings so i can probert their asses. minus the coke. or plus the coke, depending on what happens tonight.
(revised braveheart scene: i’m being tortured in front of the crowd (all in pens gear) with gary (ass) asking if i’d like to say anything. i take everything i have left and yell: steeeeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 06/04/08 at 04:09 PM ET
A sure sign that something’s not right?
An epic run-on sentence from the queen of grammar and punctuation.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/04/08 at 04:11 PM ET
I think I spelled everything okay, though! At least the remaining thread of sanity on to which I am holding allows me that much.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 06/04/08 at 04:13 PM ET
My Stevie Y sweater is clean and ready to go. Hat in place. Car flag (which I clutched all through game 5) will be with me too. Also, I have the key (Baroque the fan psychosis thing is in full swing at my house), my daughter will be home with me tonight and every time she has watched a game all the way through (there were a few where she went to bed) the Wings have won.
Cementslinger is pushing is all forward. LET’S GO RED WINGS!
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 06/04/08 at 04:14 PM ET
Ack, should preview my post, that should read, “Cementslinger is pushing us all forward.”
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 06/04/08 at 04:32 PM ET
well, the twins are in bed, its 22:35 in the uk, the game is on at 1 something am, they’ll be up for a feed at 2 -
please god let us be 6 up by the end of the first so i can go to bed....
Posted by Gareth Jenkins on 06/04/08 at 04:36 PM ET
i’ve wasted enough time at work for the day, i hope to be able to do the same tomorrow, except this time hungover from an all night binge, shaking beer bottles and spraying them all over the place.
thanks for the help getting through the day, couldn’t have done it without you. and remember “if the hasek is a-rockin, don’t come a-knockin”
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 06/04/08 at 05:08 PM ET
Just KEEP IT SIMPLE RED WINGS!
STAY OUT OF THE BOX…
THROW EVERYTHING AT FLUERY, no matter the angle or how far away you are. PUCKS DO BOUNCE!
GET A LEAD AND KEEP IT!
KEEP IT SIMPLE!
GO WINGS!
Posted by Draper33 from Atlanta GA on 06/04/08 at 05:12 PM ET
It’s 1715 in Chitown, and I am feeling no pain, prepared for whatever tests and trials the Esteemed Hockey Gods have in store for tonight.
(on my knees, facing east toward Detroit)
O, Esteemed Hockey Gods, sitting up there on a Stanley Cup shaped cloud bathing Sweet Baby Jesus in the bowl, please, in your infinite power and wisdom, allow the Wings one victory tonight, and I promise I will never tempt fate again like I did on Monday when I allowed myself a fleeting thought that the Wings were destined to win because there was no way that team was going to [expletive deleted] lose after coming back from a 2-0 hole to take the lead. Yea, verily, let it be done.
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago, on the poop deck, not over it yet on 06/04/08 at 05:15 PM ET
Enough of my semi-coherent babble - my fondest wish: Detroit wins so as to cause Don Cherry to choke on his own antiquated anti-European bile while wearing a jacket made from the stolen draperies of an Oriental brothel. I’m going for the greater good, here.
Good night and good luck, everyone.
And as always, don’t forget to breathe - although if you do, your autonomic nervous system will take over and start you breathing again after you pass out, so you’ll be fine, unless you pass out in your lucky snacks, so make sure that if you pass out your head won’t fall in a bowl of nachos!
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 06/04/08 at 05:26 PM ET
O, Esteemed Hockey Gods, sitting up there on a Stanley Cup shaped cloud bathing Sweet Baby Jesus in the bowl
I like to picture my Jesus with giant eagles wings and singin lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/04/08 at 05:26 PM ET
pound some brews and keep a running list of everyone i know that says anything bad about the wings so i can probert their asses.
That was beautiful man…
Posted by cementslinger from Midland on 06/04/08 at 05:30 PM ET
F*&%k the Pengweiners,
Screw their fans
melt the Igloo,
It is not Gary’s Baby Boy’s time yet!
WE ARE NOT THE TEAM FACING ELIMINATION!!!!!!!!!
Babs, Lids, Z, Pav, and the gang will end this thing with Surgical, calm, calculated precision.
Feed those bastards the shitsandwich they left us all with at the Joe.
GO WINGS! Bring the Cup to Camp in Sept!
Posted by Bhernard Bhudznev from Hockeytown North Traverse City on 06/04/08 at 05:35 PM ET
I AM SO FREAKING PISSED OFF. All my NBC affiliate is planning on showing tonight is freaking weather porn because we’re having a *#$%@& thunderstorm. WHAT THE F.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 05:35 PM ET
that sucks Jennifer. No CBC where your at either, eh?
Posted by cementslinger on 06/04/08 at 05:54 PM ET
that sucks Jennifer. No CBC where your at either, eh?
Not here in Kentucky. ARGH. Anybody have a link to an online feed?
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 05:57 PM ET
I AM SO FREAKING PISSED OFF. All my NBC affiliate is planning on showing tonight is freaking weather porn because we’re having a *#$%@& thunderstorm. WHAT THE F.
oh god, i was so there on saturday. my neighbor is lucky that she and her two yappy dogs moved out on friday, or i’m pretty sure i’d be serving time right now.
wings better win tonight since i just lost my job an hour ago. a loss tonight, and said killing spree is back on, i reckon.
Posted by TulsaWingsFan on 06/04/08 at 06:02 PM ET
online feed:
http://www.channelsurfing.net/
we found one there saturday that worked. not perfect quality, but it was live and wasn’t choppy.
Posted by TulsaWingsFan on 06/04/08 at 06:03 PM ET
wings better win tonight since i just lost my job an hour ago.
Oh man, Tulsa. Sorry to hear that. My woes are minor compared to that. Thanks for the link to the feed. I really appreciate it.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 06:09 PM ET
or plus the coke, depending on what happens tonight.
ahh...I have brung the Word and the flock has begun to gather. And, yes, Hummers should be given away lest, like JJ, they face foreign competition. Spit-shine please.
Let the nervous twitching begin!
Posted by Osrt on 06/04/08 at 06:11 PM ET
Jennifer this site usually works.
http://www.justin.tv/richsportsonline
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 06/04/08 at 06:22 PM ET
Thanks Nate. I’ll probably have to try that one and the one Tulsa posted and see which one works.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 06:25 PM ET
nice to see that NBC is so committed to putting on a good showing of the NHL that they do a pregame show starting at 730pm.
oh, wait, never mind…
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 06/04/08 at 06:32 PM ET
nice to see that NBC is so committed to putting on a good showing of the NHL that they do a pregame show starting at 730pm.
I’ll be happy to even get to get the game, screw the pregame at this point. I even called our local NBC affiliate and bitched at the station manager for the hours of weather porn coverage. Let’s just say… I wasn’t able to be calm and rational.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/04/08 at 06:37 PM ET
in the words of rodney dangerfield “HEY WERE ALL GONNA GET LAID!”
GO WINGS!
Posted by christpuncher from detroit on 06/04/08 at 07:14 PM ET
Posted by Charlie from Hollywood, FL on 06/04/08 at 07:28 PM ET
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome:
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Posted by Rumbear from The Hasek, of course. on 06/04/08 at 03:12 PM ET