Abel to Yzerman
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Holland To Bettman: Suck It. My Boys Are Staying Home.
by IwoCPO on 01/23/09 at 03:26 PM ET
Comments (71)
1634 EST: It gets better. NHL officials commented to Helene St. James, (“I just spoke to…” We know, Helene, we know). See below.
——-
Done deal.
Detroit’s best player and captain, Nick Lidstrom, a renowned trouble maker, has been suspended one game.
Joining him on the sidelines is reigning Lady Byng winner and noted rebel Pavel Datsyuk.
The pair will miss the Red Wings regular-season game against the Columbus Blue Jackets under a policy established last year, Colin Campbell, the NHL’s senior executive vice president of hockey operations, said Friday.
Tick Tock?
Wings general manager Ken Holland is upset with the league’s stance and said he has no intention of calling the players and telling them to show up in Montreal.
More, I suspect, to follow.
Like this, maybe?
Riddle me this though: What does this mean for those that are going to miss the YoungStars game? Should Steve Mason now have to sit in that same game against Detroit? And what about Capitals star Nicklas Backstrom, who didn’t even feign injury in opting out of the rookies vs. sophomores game?
Woops. How you gonna handle that Gary?
Alright. We have options, and I’m opening this up to any and everyone. I’m assuming we’re going to have a slight increase in readership the next 24 hours as lurkers tune in to see the tantrums we’ll all throw.
Not gonna happen. We’re shifting immediately from anger to humor, as usual.
Solution? Graphics. Art. Photoshops. Poems. Songs. Any and everything. Send ‘em to me, the email address is on the starboard side. We’ll unveil it all at the exact time the ASS.G. is supposed to start on Sunday. I literally have no idea what time that’s supposed to happen.
Like this. A comment from a little while ago, associated with this post.
My grandpa, who is computerless (poor guy) and is wintering down in Florida rarely swears and has to get his Red Wings news from me. But when I told him about Bettman’s edict to suspend all players skipping the ASG and about Crosby, he said, “It figures that that little shitass would run to Montreal with his tail between his legs. That is total crap, Bettman can’t make up a rule like that arbitrarily so late in the season. I say skip it anyways, Lets see if he has the balls to suspend Lidstrom. If he tries I guarantee you that Illich will put on his foot down and start to slap Bettman around a bit.”
That was such a poetic and beautiful work of art from a 79 year old man than I couldn’t help sharing it.
Posted by sola_gratia on 01/23/09 at 03:37 PM ET
Yes.
——-
Check this out. According to Helene St. James, the NHL knows more about the Wings’ medical condition then the team does, eh?
I just now was told by an NHL spokesman that Lidstrom and Datsyuk “are sitting out due to ‘nagging injuries,’ which will preclude them from participating in the first game following the break.”
Whoa. WTF? An NHL spokesman makes the calls on what “nagging injuries” keep specific players out of specific games? Wow. That must be something in the CBA too, eh? Guess I missed that.
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Comments
standing up to Gary. first the salary cap, now this. if it’s possible for us to love Ken Holland any more, we do after today.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/23/09 at 03:36 PM ET
I suspect this will do very little to keep the MSM from referring to the Red Wings as “The Class of The League”. Nobody should be happy about this and the NHLPA is going to have a field day with it.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/23/09 at 03:37 PM ET
I think there’s a chance they could be successful in appealing the decision in Datsyuk’s case, since he left the last game early with an injury. but I don’t want them to try. it would legitimize Gary’s bs.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/23/09 at 03:37 PM ET
if i was the Wings i’d just not turn up at all for the Columbus game…
tell bettman to go and *#$%@& himself..
forfeit the whole game..it’s not as if it’s going to make any difference in the playoffs
Posted by Pharazon from England on 01/23/09 at 03:40 PM ET
Didn’t Paul post a topic last night stating that he expected traffic to be slow over the next couple of days? 
Posted by dash_pinched from Rumour Mill Bay on 01/23/09 at 03:41 PM ET
Babcock should stay the hell home.
That would be so *#$%@& awesome.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/23/09 at 03:43 PM ET
Funny thing is, Li’l Gary will probably chalk this up as a victory against Ken Holland who has been outsmarting him ever since he brought in the “Try and break up the Red Wings Dynasty” Salary Cap…how’s that working?
Gary’s phone call to Cindy Crosbaby…
Gary: Cindy, p-p-p-please come to Montreal, it couldn’t be an All-Star game without you here!
Cindy: I don’t know Gary, my V really hurts…did I say “V”? I mean to say “knee”
Gary: Oh, I am soooo sorry to hear about your injury…is there anything I can do? Want me to rub it? I’ll suspend whoever hurt you…or just let you get away with punching him in the head like you did a few weeks ago!
Cindy: I never punched anyone in the head
Gary: Not the head on his shoulders…
Cindy: Oh…right
Gary: How about this, if you show up in Montreal and sign a bunch of autographs (make them all to my *ahem friend whose name is also Gary, I will do what I can for you poor distressed 10th place Penguins by suspending everyone who doesn’t follow your shining example, my darling baby-boy!
Cindy: Ok, anything for you Li’l Gary.
Gary: You are the apple of my eye, and I will love you forever
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 01/23/09 at 03:44 PM ET
“ASS.G”
Oh SBJ, there’s a new candidate for entry to the A2Y Glossary.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 01/23/09 at 03:45 PM ET
Babcock should stay the hell home.
You brilliant ba$tard Gabe. I owe you a beer in Detroit, say Feb 20th?
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/23/09 at 03:45 PM ET
That would be so *#$%@& awesome.
I’ll extend you the same offer as I did for Gabe on that thought, Chief.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/23/09 at 03:49 PM ET
Gary.Ass. You, Can’t Understand Normal Thinking!
Once again, Thanks Gary.Ass.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/23/09 at 03:50 PM ET
Oh SBJ, there’s a new candidate for entry to the A2Y Glossary.
Definitely. Speaking of, I added “Douche Canoe” today.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/23/09 at 03:51 PM ET
I owe you a beer in Detroit, say Feb 20th?
It’s starting to look like I’ll be there. 2nd round’s on me.
...
so…*#$%@&…angry….bood pressure…..*#$%@& bettman…
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/23/09 at 03:51 PM ET
You, Can’t Understand Normal Thinking!
Nice Kate.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/23/09 at 03:51 PM ET
Funny thing is, Li’l Gary will probably chalk this up as a victory against Ken Holland who has been outsmarting him ever since he brought in the “Try and break up the Red Wings Dynasty” Salary Cap…how’s that working?
Next up, Gary gets to determine the values and term of all NHL player contracts for the Detroit Red Wings.
Posted by halomasterd4n on 01/23/09 at 03:52 PM ET
If Franzen and Stuart are also out for Tuesday’s game, the Wings are going to be fielding a less than playable roster. Bettman’s an idiot, and this just continues to show how big of an idiot he is, and how he yet again is pissing off the franchise that makes his league successful.
I hope the Wings go out and beat the BJs on Tuesday like 8-1 just to prove their point. This is complete andf utter BS.
Posted by Jeremy from Bowling Green, OH on 01/23/09 at 03:55 PM ET
Thanks Chief. That is a nicer way of saying, well, you know.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 01/23/09 at 03:55 PM ET
Lovin’ the new avatar slogan Gabe…but what’s with the rabbit?
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 01/23/09 at 03:57 PM ET
You cannot make this stuff up.
The NHL…It’s FAAAAAN-TASTIC!
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago...nope, still not over it. on 01/23/09 at 03:59 PM ET
Babcock should stay the hell home.
If he did that, I would probably Photoshop Uncle Mike’s face over Jesus in a bunch of religious photos, hang them above my fireplace (and I don’t even have a fireplace), and worship that shit. Hard.
This whole situation makes me want to punch myself in the face with a soldering iron.
As someone said in the comments section of the last post, how are these suspensions fair to the BJs fans that won’t get to see two of the best players in the world next Tuesday? And how is it fair to Wing transplants in Ohio that won’t? And don’t even get me started on the people that are going to drive a few hours down to Columbus (and then a few hours back) and go to work half-asleep and hungover the next day, just to see their beloved Wings… AND WON’T GET TO SEE [expletive] LIDSTROM AND [expletive] DATSYUK!!?!??!? How is that fair? Explain that to me, Little Gary, ass.
So help us all if Steve Mason so much as even dresses for Tuesday’s game.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 01/23/09 at 04:01 PM ET
Golly, what could have been, except for a lack of planning…..
Mr Ilitch could have had his own NonStar game at the Joe, by inviting all the stars not voted in.
Against the Wings, at the Joe….Same time as the ASG. 1 Million fans at the parade last year practically guarantees a sellout. Especially if he dropped the prices, some of the proceeds to Charity, and let Ken, Mick, and FSD do the marketing.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 01/23/09 at 04:02 PM ET
Lovin’ the new avatar slogan Gabe...but what’s with the rabbit?
Who? Max? He’s an obscure reference to brazen violence. He’s my id.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/23/09 at 04:03 PM ET
FAAAAAN-TASTIC!
Sen-say-shun-al & Mastadonic even!
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/23/09 at 04:04 PM ET
So, I’m guessing that Datsyuk can kiss his 4th consecutive Lady Byng goodbye, huh?
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/23/09 at 04:06 PM ET
Graphics. Art. Photoshops. Poems. Songs.
Oh it’s on now. Check your email in about an hour chief.
Posted by aaron from phoenix on 01/23/09 at 04:06 PM ET
Babcock should stay the hell home.
If he did that, I would probably Photoshop Uncle Mike’s face over Jesus in a bunch of religious photos, hang them above my fireplace (and I don’t even have a fireplace), and worship that shit. Hard.
Not real sure I can describe just how awesome that is.
Hall of fame stuff right there brother.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/23/09 at 04:06 PM ET
So help us all if Steve Mason so much as even dresses for Tuesday’s game.
that was cleared up in the last post. this rule doesn’t apply to the guys in the Young Stars game…
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/23/09 at 04:10 PM ET
the red wings fan base… putting the ass in class since the last time the big three made a car worth driving (so about 30 years). where does the persecution complex come from anyway? is it the fact that yo come from north america’s answer to mogadishu?
Posted by heed on 01/23/09 at 04:12 PM ET
So, skipping the ASG is 12.5% as bad as stomping on a guy with your skate or 4% as bad as anything Chris Simon does. Good to know exactly how dirty our boy Lidstrom really is.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/23/09 at 04:14 PM ET
the red wings fan base… putting the ass in class since the last time the big three made a car worth driving (so about 30 years). where does the persecution complex come from anyway? is it the fact that yo come from north america’s answer to mogadishu?
Posted by Darren Garcia on 01/23/09 at 04:12 PM ET
I went ahead and put your real name in there for you. Thanks for stopping by. Watch your, you know, back.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/23/09 at 04:15 PM ET
the red wings fan base… putting the ass in class since the last time the big three made a car worth driving (so about 30 years). where does the persecution complex come from anyway? is it the fact that yo come from north america’s answer to mogadishu?
Posted by heed on 01/23/09 at 04:12 PM ET
Are you f*cking clueless? You’re correlating a tragic chapter in American military history to a perceived persecution complex in a hockey game?
You’re pathetic. Go drop off your farce of an analogy at the Dumbass Tank and disappear.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 01/23/09 at 04:21 PM ET
I’ll be at the Rumble on Sunday at the Joe. Bettman should join the creative team at the WWE, because you can’t write better stuff than this.
Even if Pav and Nick were to show up in Montreal, how many of their fans are going to give a rat’s ass about them being there anyways? To have them travel to partake in “off-ice” activities only is ridiculous.
Perhaps Little Gary needed them there to judge how fast Gary can suck off Criesby. There’s an off-ice activity for you.
Posted by Jeremy from Bowling Green, OH on 01/23/09 at 04:21 PM ET
And how is it fair to Wing transplants in Ohio that won’t? And don’t even get me started on the people that are going to drive a few hours down to Columbus (and then a few hours back) and go to work half-asleep and hungover the next day, just to see their beloved Wings… AND WON’T GET TO SEE [expletive] LIDSTROM AND [expletive] DATSYUK!!?!??!? How is that fair? Explain that to me, Little Gary, ass.
Posted by Nathan on 01/23/09 at 04:01 PM ET
I’m a fan down in Ohio, and if I’m lucky, I get to see the Wings once a year. At the moment, I am really glad I chose to get tickets to the February game and not the one next week.
Posted by Anne in Athens from Ohio on 01/23/09 at 04:24 PM ET
Who? Max? He’s an obscure reference to brazen violence. He’s my id.
Gabe. Excellent use of the word, “brazen”. You are my hero right now.
Oh it’s on now. Check your email in about an hour chief.
Aaron, I’m looking forward to this.
Not real sure I can describe just how awesome that is.
Hall of fame stuff right there brother.
Thanks, Chief. I had to step up to the plate—since I shed light on the “V” thing, I’ve been disappointed in my own lack of juvenile production.
that was cleared up in the last post. this rule doesn’t apply to the guys in the Young Stars game…
Well aware of this. That’s why I’m saying, that’s why I made the comment. There’s no fair reason it should apply to the ASG and not the YSG. Both are part of the weekend’s festivities and should be treated equally for situations like this.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 01/23/09 at 04:25 PM ET
I’m back, posting to prove that the Chief is not a sadistic murderer attempting to entrap one and all in his devious lair, but rather a damn good host, a prince among men, with only a mild sadistic streak. The niceties extend to his wife, his little girls, and his dogs. Technically the cat too, as they were sweet, but cleared the room as soon as Sailor showed a little grit. Pussies. So it just remains to say again…thank you Chief.
And just in time to see Little Gary trying to find yet another way to make a mockery of the League! I’m struggling to figure out how the hell this will help ‘grow’ the game. I could have sworn that something like this was a joke, because you can’t really make it up, but now I’m just convinced Bettman is on the KHL’s payroll and is working to drive the NHL into the ground. An atrocious travesty of petty dictatorship.
And I’m all for it. Nick and Pav and the Wings take a brave stand, and dare the League to call their bluff…and the League folded. Give them attention and coverage and stir up a veritable hornets’ nest of divided opinions, and finally pull the last veil to reveal brazenly that yes, they irrationally hate the Wings. And I suspect the few siding with the League on this has the same irrational hate. Now if only the rest of the teams and players would grow some stones, take the same stand with Kenny and march under the proud red banner, and bring a revolution to the League. Bettman’s head on a pike, anyone?
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 01/23/09 at 04:25 PM ET
Perhaps Wings fans around the world should send lil’ gary a lil’ message by boycotting any and all ASG related broadcasts.
BTW, RE: the “precedent” issue—just because Bettman/Campbell suspended Brodeur for 1 game last year doesn’t make it right. I’m very disappointed to see that Kelly is taking such a lame position. I wonder if the NHLPA rank and file are noticing how he’s standing up for them here (NOT!). Sounds like another case for union rabble rouser Chris Chelios!
Posted by YzermanZetterberg on 01/23/09 at 04:26 PM ET
JACKATORIUM
JACKATORIUM
JACKATORIUM
Posted by christpuncher from Detroit, MI on 01/23/09 at 04:28 PM ET
I’m back, posting to prove that the Chief is not a sadistic murderer
I never specifically said “murderer”. I only implied that perhaps he left you in a bathtub full of ice with no kidneys. Which, by the way, you haven’t denied.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/23/09 at 04:30 PM ET
Haha, what a friggin’ circus.
The only thing remaining is for Li’l Gary to have the starting line-ups take the ice in opposing clown cars.
Posted by O-Joe on 01/23/09 at 04:31 PM ET
Time for Tick-Tock to play a little hardball. “You wanna suspend Nick and Pav for being too dinged up to participate in the All Star Farce, Gary? OK, find another team to play in Europe to open next season, ass.”
Posted by PDX from Portland, Oregon (Hockeytown West) on 01/23/09 at 04:32 PM ET
Perhaps Wings fans around the world should send lil’ gary a lil’ message by boycotting any and all ASG related broadcasts.
That would only prove to him how important it was that they show up. I suggested to Chief that we boycott the Columbus game. No television. Don’t show up. *#$%@& the sponsors.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/23/09 at 04:32 PM ET
Here’s Tick Tock’s story on Lidstrom, according to KHAN!:
Holland said Lidstrom has been bothered by the elbow for some time. He’s had cortisone shots and earlier this week had an MRI that revealed a small tear. He also noted Lidstrom has played in the last 10 All-Star Games and always shows up to the NHL Awards Show.
“When he comes to me and says I want to take a week off, I’m going to respect that,’’ Holland said. “Nobody in the league has asked me to call any of our players. I won’t make that call.’‘
So, as to Lidstrom, arguably one of the very best and classiest players in the league, a sure fire HHOF, he wants to take the week off because he has a nagging injury to his elbow. Tick Tock says, yes, please take the week off—we need you for games that matter.
Lil Hitler says nein. (somebody needs to photoshop that stupid little ‘stache on Buttman to make clear the resemblance).
What a freaking absurdity. Lidstrom’s hurt, and getting treatment and wants to pass. Hell, he wasn’t even voted in. But we are going to penalize him anyway. Insanity.
But oh my, what a fantastic message does Tick Tock send to HIS PLAYERS, by this act. Team first, team always, nothing more important than the team.
Velvety smooth move by Tick Tock, that man is ALWAYS one step ahead of the game. Now if he would just announce the Z contract sometime before the All Stupid Game.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 01/23/09 at 04:39 PM ET
...the All Stupid Game.
Jeff, this is brilliant in both its simplicity and juvenilicity. Most excellent!
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 01/23/09 at 04:43 PM ET
this is the reason crosby will not get the respect nick or yzerman get. no heart, no soul.
the best thing bettman can do for the NHL is to quit.
save the NHL, fire bettman
Posted by christpuncher from Detroit, MI on 01/23/09 at 04:53 PM ET
That would only prove to him how important it was that they show up. I suggested to Chief that we boycott the Columbus game. No television. Don’t show up. *#$%@& the sponsors.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/23/09 at 04:32 PM ET
IMAHO, boycotting the Columbus game would hurt the Wings organ-I-zation, not Bettman.
Posted by YzermanZetterberg on 01/23/09 at 04:53 PM ET
I just now was told by an NHL spokesman that Lidstrom and Datsyuk “are sitting out due to ‘nagging injuries,’ which will preclude them from participating in the first game following the break.”
Is that the same thing as when Michael Jordan just so happened to want to switch to baseball during the prime of his career?
NHL is trying to spin it as though the players weren’t going to play agains the BJs on Tuesday while they’re suspended anyway. I hope Tick-Tock calls ‘em on their bullshit and lets everybody know the primary reason they’re not playing is because Gary.Ass threw a temper tantrum.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/23/09 at 05:00 PM ET
IMAHO, boycotting the Columbus game would hurt the Wings organ-I-zation, not Bettman.
Actually, since it’s in Columbus, I think it would hurt the BJ’s. Oddly, that’s a risk I’m willing to take. 
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/23/09 at 05:01 PM ET
“I won’t make that call.”
God dammit I love you, Kenny.
Posted by Incognetis from Delaware... Hi... I'm in... Delaware on 01/23/09 at 05:08 PM ET
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Tick Tock is just as pissed off as we are.
Awesome.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 01/23/09 at 03:34 PM ET