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Abel to Yzerman

I’ll Be Your Super Delegate

by IwoCPO on 03/17/08 at 07:45 PM ET
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I used to like the phrase, “I’ll be your Huckleberry.”  It just seemed cool when Val Kilmer said it in Tombstone.  But I’ve grown out of it.  Now?  Well, the title of this post doesn’t have the same ring to it. But it does bring up a good point, and I’m all about the best of points. 

And here it is: I have no idea what a Super Delegate is.  It seems that every four years, a new phrase appears that makes me feel real frigging dumb.  Super Delegate fits the bill this year.  Am I a bad American because I’d never heard of it before? Should I feel guilty?  Should we change Dominik Hasek’s glossary entry to “the conductor”? 

It’s a valid question.

Because if four goals on ten shots doesn’t get you back aboard the Stress Train, then you’re banned.  Banned, I say.  Yeah, frigging yeah. I know. He’s all happy because he “felt good.”  Only one goal was “stoppable”.  Deflections, bounces, firetrucks, hookers and indigestion.  All quality reasons for the other three.  And, yeah, I know he was “hurt.” I know his back was aching. Wasn’t 100 percent.  How do we know he wasn’t “100 percent”? 

Because Dom doesn’t play unless he’s “100 percent.”  Dom’s not a “give it a go at 70 percent” kind of guy, ya know?

Nope. All healthy brother. And sucking. 

But, but…three of the four goals were flukes.  Got it.  Here’s my response to that crock.  You’re an elite goaltender.  You have more Vezina’s than I do braincells left.  You don’t allow four goals on ten shots, then say…

Kulfan

...I felt good,” Hasek said. “I didn’t have any problems. So at least that was a positive.Unfortunately, their shots went in, they found holes, lucky bounces, whatever it was.”

Ever get the feeling our CMOI is always a shade more concerned with how he’s viewed after a game than whether the team wins or loses?  You felt good?  Four goals on ten shots, and you “felt good”? 

That doesn’t make me feel good Dom.  It makes me want to puke in a bucket, and leave that same bucket sitting there at my feet, just in case I have to think about a similar playoff performance that makes you “feel good.”  Four goals against Calgary?  Loss. Four goals against Luongo? Definite loss.  Four goals on ten shots against any first round opponent?  That’s, you know, pretty much the definition of a loss there Dom. But, hey, as long as only one was “stoppable.” 

If you’re not stressing about the goaltending with nine games left in the regular season…well, you’re a strong man, Super Delegate strong. 

Oh…right.  You’re not.  You’re taking the high road.  9 games is plenty of time for Dom to get back to…back to what?  ‘99.  2000?  Not gonna happen.  The best we can hope for is steady, because that’s all he’s shown us when he’s been on his game.  Newsflash: We’re going to outshoot teams 49-16 in the playoffs.  It’s gonna happen.  Because history tells us it will, and because our defense assures us it will..consistently. 

So, quit your bitching and tell us Osgood should start.  Is that your solution?  You’re whining about Hasek, so solve the problem.  Nope.  Have another shot, because there is no solution.

Chris Osgood’s not going to bail us out.  He can’t.  He could have in December, but I still have no idea what a Super Delegate is and Christmas ain’t Easter.  My point?  It has to be Hasek.  We’ve seen the best of Ozzie and the best of Ozzie isn’t coming back. 

Yes?  You in the front?  Yes?  Oh, right.  We don’t need “elite.”  We don’t need a goalie who’s going to steal a game or three.  Um. Yeah we do.  Because Kipper’s gonna. And Bobby’s gonna.  And Nabby and that French F*** in Anaheim is damn sure gonna.  The only one who won’t is Marty and they’re done like dinner. Just ask that wack job in Fort Worth.  The pig sticker.  Oh, yeah, give us Bubba and we’ll wipe them out in five.  But excellence awaits in the second round, no matter who it is.  49 shots is gonna be a three goal game for the Wings.  20 shots for San Jose is going to be what?  Three, four?  Can you tell me that’s not the case?

Osgood’s not the answer.  The downriver Puck Bunnies want him to be.  But he’s just not and most of us know it.  Dominik Hasek has about seven more starts to get his act together or I’ve got news for you: Pain in April. 

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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