Abel to Yzerman
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Introducing The A2Y Happiness Quotient
by IwoCPO on 12/05/08 at 10:29 AM ET
Comments (39)
I’ve decided that when your save percentage is .876, it’s no longer a “save percentage” because that’s a little too optimistic. Fail percentage? That’s a little too harsh.
So, from this point forward that particular stat will be my “happiness quotient.” If Osgood’s is above .900? That’s when I’ll be happy in a Wing-related way. Below? Well, sister…that’s a recipe for surliness. So, after games like last night, even though the outcome was “good”, the mood in my personal space is not.
Just wanted to let you all know that, and to warn you ahead of time to tread lightly until Ozzie picks it up, if he ever does.
Oh, and there’s also this.
Detroit Red Wings’ owner Mike Illitch has announced that he is asking NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman to suspend all further play in the current NHL hockey season.
“The Detroit Red Wings already have the Stanley Cup,” said Illitch, “and we see no reason to continue to play hockey with the other 29 teams in the league just so that they can keep trying to take it away from us.”
“We don’t care about the impact this may have on the revenues of other teams,” said the multi-billionaire, “nor upon the livelihoods of the players, the concerns of the fans, or the future of hockey.”
“We have the Cup, we’re going to keep it, and that’s that,” he stated.
That’s part of an article written by a guy named Tyler Kinch in Calgary. Pretty funny, as you’ll see if you read the rest of it.
More funny things to make you forget about my “happiness quotient”? A Puck Daddy reader found an ornament, a penguin wearing a Wing jersey. Wyshynski thinks it might be a sign of a truce between you and Pens fans.
We’ve seen the fan battles waged here on Puck Daddy between Wings supporters and the Pittsburgh Penguins faithful. Finding an ornament that blissfully marries the two franchises in seasonal joy can only mean that the 8 pounds, 6 ounces baby Jesus—newborn, not even spoken a word yet - has called for a truce.
Really? I guess it could be construed that way. But I don’t think the truce would last too long after I hurled the ornament against my wall and smashed it into a million little frigging pieces. How would that go? Would that be peaceful?
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Comments
If things do not change soon, Jimmy will get his shot. A legitimate one.
Goalies at some point all lose it. From whatever they had. Maybe this is Ozzie now.
No reason to panic though. Like I said before, a raw Cam Ward led Carolina to the cup. Why not Howard? You never know.
Posted by Jeff from Loveland, CO on 12/05/08 at 11:01 AM ET
...the 8 pounds, 6 ounces baby Jesus—newborn, not even spoken a word yet - has called for a truce.
Well, no offense to the baby Jesus, but it’s gonna take more than that to get us off the backs of Lil’ Gary’s baby boy and his band of crybabies. We’ll need something like, oh, I don’t know, let’s say a .900 save percentage from Ozzie before we even consider calling a truce. So now it’s all up to the baby Jesus to decide how much he wants peace in the land. 
Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 12/05/08 at 11:07 AM ET
Goalies at some point all lose it. From whatever they had. Maybe this is Ozzie now.
I’m sure you’re right, Jeff, but that only increases the anxiety. Why? Because we’re stuck with Ozzie for two more years after this season. It makes me wince just to type that.
Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 12/05/08 at 11:10 AM ET
So, after games like last night, even though the outcome was “good”, the mood in my personal space is not.
My wife can verify that. She immediately said “well, I guess I don’t need to ask what the outcome of the game was” judging the look on my face. She fails to “get it” when you explain the naunces of a terrible win and 2 disgusting points.
Least she’s smart enough to NEVER utter the sentiment “a win is a win”.... I’m going to stick an arrow in the skull of the next person that I hear say that.
Fail percentage? That’s a little too harsh.
Dunno Chief, give this another couple weeks and that might be spot on.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 12/05/08 at 11:32 AM ET
We held onto Ledba when his trade value was highest…then watched it plummet like the same disgusting rock thet is Ozzie’s save percentage. We waived Quincey because we didn’t make room for him on the big club, and now he’s shining in the City of Angels. We’re winning while playing piss-poor, thus giving no impetus to shape up for the playoffs. This great post-lockout team, most likely together for only one year, which we may never see again in a salary-capped world, seems intent on blowing its one shot at glory.
Happiness Quotient implies that there is some happiness there to measure in the first place. How about Simmering Unhinged Rage Quotient?
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 12/05/08 at 12:02 PM ET
Why? Because we’re stuck with Ozzie for two more years after this season. It makes me wince just to type that.
The cap hit on Ozzie is 1.4M/year, which is more than he’s worth at this point, though it’s not like we’re stuck with paying $12M for two goalies. If Ozzie keeps this up, he’ll be a high-priced backup next year, but that leads to a bigger worry: Kenny will have to let Mule or Hossa go in order to bring in a starter. And who would that even be? Khabibulin? Please. Tim Thomas will be available, but he’s going to command a huge price with his season so far.
Least she’s smart enough to NEVER utter the sentiment “a win is a win”.
What’s worse is that we’re accused of being spoiled Wings fans. At this point I would rather see losses in which that Wings played solid, competitive hockey, as opposed to wins where half the *#$%@& team phones it in. This shit is frustrating. Hudler and Lilja shouldn’t be the hardest working guys out there.
So, from this point forward that particular stat will be my “happiness quotient.” If Osgood’s is above .900?
Yeah, but for how many games? Last night he was what? .800? Being so far in the hole, he’s going to need a series of shutouts before his numbers earn him even a “marginally competent goalie” award. If he can at least put in 3 games in a row with a .900, I’ll start feeling better.
Until then, I want it known that if the Wings play one more game like they did last night, I’m going to tell my little girls that there is no Santa Claus. So there you go, Wings. It’s on your head now.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 12/05/08 at 12:11 PM ET
Can we get that ornamet for the christmas tree in the Hasek Car?
Posted by w2j2 on 12/05/08 at 12:14 PM ET
Oh, and a quick check around the league’s numbers just revealed that Legace is available next year.
Jesus Christ…you think it’s bad now…
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 12/05/08 at 12:18 PM ET
I always thought Manny was a decent goalie. But his dramaqueen-ness is pure poison.
Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 12/05/08 at 12:31 PM ET
I was crushed as soon as I heard that Buffalo signed Ryan Miller long-term. I thought he would have been a terrific fit. Regardless, I think Ozzie will come into January playing a lot better. Pipe dream? Maybe, but I’d rather hope that than keep thinking that if the season ended today, there are no playoff teams that I’d really be happy seeing.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/05/08 at 12:33 PM ET
What’s worse is that we’re accused of being spoiled Wings fans. At this point I would rather see losses in which that Wings played solid, competitive hockey, as opposed to wins where half the *#$%@& team phones it in. This shit is frustrating. Hudler and Lilja shouldn’t be the hardest working guys out there.
Uncle Mike going to ask the guys who’s the hardest working team alot at this rate.
I too would rather hang my hat on a loss saying we gave our best and came up short. Giving 60% and managing a W is bad poison to keep drinking.
I detest the spoiled moniker. Is expecting a very talented and very capable team to play at a decent level really “spoiled”?
We can single out goaltending, the D and nit pick all we want. Til EVERY player with the Winged Wheel on gets his a$$ in gear, we can simply keep hammering on any & everyone from behind the bench to between the pipes.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 12/05/08 at 01:06 PM ET
I’m going to tell my little girls that there is no Santa Claus. So there you go, Wings. It’s on your head now.
LOL
I vote/ veto for FAIL percentage, cause the only reaction is WTF?!?
Posted by Osrt on 12/05/08 at 01:08 PM ET
My frickin’ motto this frickin’ year is, “There’s no such thing as a frickin’ safe lead.”
I want more of that brilliant 38+plus shot effort against the Ducks not too long ago (while shutting them down to less than 20 SOGs) and if we have more of that, I just might actually lighten the hell up. Even though it was a one-goal win, it was a very satisfying win.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 12/05/08 at 01:47 PM ET
Here’s an idea from the wizards of smart in Grand Rapids school system..
GRAND RAPIDS—No Grand Rapids high school students will find failing grades on their report cards when they arrive this week.
Instead, students who performed poorly will see an “H” for “held” and an opportunity to make up the work and earn a passing grade by the end of the next trimester.
So hows about we adopt the same for goalie ratings…Get rid of those pesky percentages and numbers! If the team is doing good….the goalie is good. If the team slips in the standings…we’ll place on “H” on the goalie.
Thus, the Sharks and Wings have the best goalies in the conference! WooWhoooooooooooo!
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, sippin rum & catchin some rays on 12/05/08 at 01:50 PM ET
I use to have a heart attack when the Tigers would bring in Todd (roller coaster) Jones, but Jones only pitched for an inning or so. Which meant no permanent damage to my mental and physical health.
Currently Ozzie or Conks playing the way they are, for a full game, I am dead in the water for sure at some point. Throw me a good wake eh.
I can just imagine the reaction from a few folks from Redcooties place in regard to ozzy’s play.lol. I bet poor Ozzies ears have fried and fell off. Not like it isn’t warranted though. But we will get through this and Ozzie will be the man when the time comes. Clean slate on all stats once the playoffs start. Ozzy like Homer are money players when the light shines the brightest.
Posted by hankyspanky40 from Michigan on 12/05/08 at 01:54 PM ET
Ozzy like Homer are money players when the light shines the brightest.
I think Osgood has proven that. Maybe it’s why he played so poorly in St Louis - he was thinking “nobody cares about this team, it doesn’t matter because we don’t have a shot at winning anything.” but when the playoffs come around in Detroit he seems to batten down the hatches and focus. it also seems he needs a challenge…something to light a fire under him like coming in and proving he should have been the guy instead of Hasek - and rolling off, what, 9 straight wins in the playoffs? the grand irony is if he HAD been the original starter he might not have played so well because he wouldn’t have had as much to prove. pissing him off by starting Hasek, then bringing Osgood in later seems to have motivated him.
as for how the D plays in front of him, maybe their confidence in him IS shaken. maybe it’s why they played so well in front of him in the playoffs last year, because they were quaking in their boots every time the puck got near Dom - and relatively speaking, switching to Osgood seemed more solid and calm. so maybe the solution IS to put Howard in for like two weeks, give the Wings someone else to fret about playing in front of so when we bring back Osgood not only is he pissed off but the team is thinking “this is great, we’re back in front of Osgood”.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 12/05/08 at 02:12 PM ET
How about Simmering Unhinged Rage Quotient?
Concur.
Posted by mudshark from Divetown, Colorado on 12/05/08 at 02:20 PM ET
I’m fortunate to have not had to deal with anybody who has claimed that Ozzie is a product of a system and doesn’t deserve praise. I so far don’t have an answer that doesn’t involve throwing punches.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/05/08 at 02:50 PM ET
man I wish I could come up with a phrase like Simmering Unhinged Rage Quotient that works out to an acronym of SUCK.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 12/05/08 at 03:13 PM ET
man I wish I could come up with a phrase like Simmering Unhinged Rage Quotient that works out to an acronym of SUCK
Seething Unbalanced Cataclysm Key?
Or you could replace ‘Unbalanced’ with ‘Imminent,’ thus making the phrase scan a bit better and also giving you the acronym SICK.
Sigh…I’ve spent far too much time thinking about adjectives for how I feel about this team.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 12/05/08 at 03:28 PM ET
From the Chief’s analysis at Illegal Curve (courtesy of the front page):
A grade for the first quarter? I’d say a C. Do I expect improvement? Absolutely. It will be gradual, but that’s cool with us.
Wha? That’s so totally, incredibly, fundamentally not cool with us. We want abrupt improvement. We demand instant gratification. We’re what-have-you-done-for-me-lately, the-sky-is-falling, knee-jerk, soil-ourselves reactionaries.
Chief, I hate to say it, but you’re not running a blog. It’s not even a forum. It’s group therapy.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 12/05/08 at 04:22 PM ET
With Homer back on the ice on Saturday, I’m making my bold prediction. Two goals for…
The third line!
Cleary gets bumped down to the third line with Homer’s return, giving Fil and Huds an incredibly effective offensive-boards forechecker / goalie screener. Last time those three were together, Huds wasn’t riding nearly as confident at he is now. I expect fireworks from these guys.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/05/08 at 04:30 PM ET
It’s group therapy.
Great…now we will start getting another monthly bill in the mail.
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, sippin rum & catchin some rays on 12/05/08 at 05:05 PM ET
Defense isn’t good enough, goaltending isn’t good enough. It’s been this way for a while. We don’t need to get any more freaked out from this one game…let’s just keep praying they fix this problem soon.
Posted by Tyler from Arizona on 12/05/08 at 05:12 PM ET
Chief, we should have a Meter graphic on the top of the site: The Osgood A2Y Happiness Quotient meter.
The longer the bar, the better the Save %. Surely someone could write a simple script and make this happen? It would take A2Y to new heights never before seen by the 19…
Posted by Primis on 12/05/08 at 07:57 PM ET
Trouble Coming?
by IwoCPO on 12/04/08 at 10:08 PM ET
No Chief, Not really.
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 12/05/08 at 10:21 PM ET
Stupid thing is with 15 minutes left leading by 3 goals I was completely uneasy. I fully EXPECTED to see Vancouver cut it to 1 goal, wouldn’t have surprised me to see them tie it in regulation.
There are a couple of things sounding the warning bell of early playoff departure, and related but not the same thing.
1) bad goaltending that has been passable for only moments during the season so far, and
2) horrible even strength results. this smacks of the first year after the lockout. we were all dismayed last year about the power play not being what it should be but when you so badly dominate even strength play a little lower PP conversion isn’t too bothersome.
let me get this right. we are basically the same team on the ice as last year when we lead the league in fewest goals against right from game 1, NOW, to that equation about the only change is you drop Dallas Drake and add Marion Hossa? How is this team not dominating 5x5?
there is a disturbing lack of concentration and determination to limit scoring chances, when combined with .700 save percentage will inevitably lead to disappointing finish to the season.
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 12/05/08 at 10:52 PM ET
Thanks a lot to IwoCPO! He came through and got me in contact with someone who had Yzerman’s address at the Joe!
Also, to anybody who’ll be at the game tomorrow vs Chicago, I will be too, wearing my Russian Evgeni Malkin jersey (you know, that guy who’s leading the NHL in scoring) and would love to hear about how good Ozzie is while he’s getting scored on by Toews…
Good luck this year…hopefully we’ll see you in the SCF again…Go Pens!
Posted by Josh from Trenton on 12/05/08 at 11:21 PM ET
I also hear Ozzie is trying to break in new equipment during practice…he should wear it during a game.
Posted by Tyler from Arizona on 12/05/08 at 11:38 PM ET
Josh, congrats! You could have easily addressed the envelope “The Captain, Detroit MI.” Maybe add on a “Joe Louis Arena” in case there are retards working the USPS. Of course if you’re a hockey fan you might know that Gordie Howe received fan letters addressed simply to “Mr. Hockey, Detroit MI”, but then again, you’re from Pittsburgh, and hockey has only existed as long as your arena.
And malkin never made much of a threat in last year’s finals. Your greatest threat was Hossa, and look where he is now.
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago...nope, still not over it. on 12/06/08 at 01:27 AM ET
Oh, and RWBill? Thanks again for reposting the O-Joe Elisha Come Hither .gif
That never gets old.
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago...nope, still not over it. on 12/06/08 at 01:36 AM ET
a penguin wearing a Wing jersey.
Lipstick on a pig!
when your save percentage is .876
that means you’re giving up a lot of sloppy seconds!
He came through and got me in contact with someone who had Yzerman’s address at the Joe!
600 Civic Center Drive
Detroit MI 48226
Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 12/06/08 at 08:26 AM ET
Oh, and RWBill? Thanks again for reposting the O-Joe Elisha Come Hither .gif It never gets old.
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago, looking for Winter Classic tickets on 12/06/08 at 01:36 AM ET
No it doesn’t. It and the full shot that you posted are constantly rolling over on my big screen. I’m not sure what self-image and expectations it is creating in my 16 year old daughter.
And when Chief posted “Trouble Coming?”, I totally misunderstood what he was getting at. Sometimes I am so ashamed of myself.
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 12/06/08 at 09:46 AM ET
Richard Hamilton had 19 points for the Pistons, who were outscored 38-24 in the fourth quarter.
38 points given up in the 4th quarter? When did Todd Jones and Ozzie start playing for the Pistons?
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 12/06/08 at 09:51 AM ET
I will rehash my theory on why us Wings fans can never be happy:
Being a Wings fan is like holding an ice cream cone stacked seven scoops high. Sure we have the ultimate treat, but we are aware at any moment it could all fall apart on us.
Being happy just doesn’t equate with being a Wings fan. We’ve had very high expecations for a long time, and we will experience pain in situations most other team’s fans feel pride.
As Wings fans we are only allowed one week of hapiness, and that is the week after winning another Cup. Before and after that there is too much to stress over to ever be happy. Dionysus has a better chance of reaching the grapes than we have of reaching inner hapiness. Why do the things we love hurt us so? Sigh.
Let’s Go Red Wings!
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 12/06/08 at 10:50 AM ET
Actually, I’m from the Metro-Detroit area…just happen to like the Pens. Playing NHL 95 with my friends, they always wanted to be the Wings, so I took the Pens, and came to like them. Tear.
And the address was for one of my third graders, who loves the wings and tells me he hates the Penguins. Tear.
Posted by Josh from Trenton, MICHIGAN on 12/06/08 at 01:39 PM ET
Congrats on Navy’s stomping on Army Chief!
Conk is in tonight right? Wonder what his fail percentage will be?
Posted by Osrt on 12/06/08 at 03:59 PM ET
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Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/05/08 at 10:46 AM ET