Abel to Yzerman
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Island Hopping
by IwoCPO on 09/29/08 at 05:11 AM ET
Comments (14)
Important, critical work. That’s what I accomplished in Hawaii. And now I’m back in the nation’s capital(ol) for 24 hours before the trek begins anew, this time to the hockey-mad Pacific isle of Guam. Based on research conducted by the A2Y interns up at Northern, we’ve not had a single visit—not a click—from Guaminians since this blog was unveiled to the Gore back in 1977.
So, naturally; that’s where I’ve decided to hold the first-ever A2Y 19 gathering. That’s right. For those of you who (a) live in Guam or (2) can get there within 48 hours, I’ll be hosting a bash. And get this, all the alcohol’s on me. Details to follow.
As the A2Y social committee makes preparations for what we’re sure will be a party like none ever held on Guam before, I’ve had some thoughts while “working” in Hawaii.
In no particular order and regarding subjects that could very well be outdated:
Uncle Mike is not being honest with you. It’s an institutional problem, one that we admittedly dig.
“The best people will be on the team,” Babcock said. “The best players play here.”
OMG. We got you this time you conniving bastard. You, Mike, are a lying liar. That is a lie and it’s a dirty one.
Yes, I know. “Abundance of riches.” It’s a “good problem to have.” My lips, “they’re so cold.” We’ve heard them. But, “The best people will be on the team”?
No they won’t. Yabbadabafuturecaptaindoobiedoo won’t be there. Nor will Darren Helm. Ville Leino, who I shouldn’t even mention because I haven’t seen a single clip of him wearing something red and white that wasn’t obscured by Finnish Viagra ads, won’t be there. Jonathon Ericsson won’t and neither will Daniel Larsson or Jimmy Howard. Derek Meetch won’t be there either.
They’ll be in Grand Rapids, filling out a roster that—and I’m not kidding bitches—should be able to beat at least ten NHL teams. Dude. At times I’ve wished I lived in Grand Rapids. I understand Kettering was a fun place to go to high school. But I’ve never aggressively sought orders to that traditional Navy town until right now. Those of you fortunate enough to live there, or close by? What a hockey team they’re going to ice and we didn’t even mention Mursak, Emmerton, Kindl or A2Y favorite, Hat Trick Dick. (Note: Thanks to Pharazon for pointing out that HTD won’t be in GR this year. Headed back to Sweden for more seasoning and more tricks.)
Meanwhile? Back in Detroit? The “best” players will include Kirk Maltby, Darren McCarty (or Aaron Downey), Andres Lilja. Oh yes, Khan(!) literally wrote this today.
When asked about the inevitable trade of a defenseman, our Deep Digger captain drank the koolaid.
It won’t be Andreas Lilja, if Babcock has any say.
“We got some huge decisions on the back end,” Babcock said. “I thought Lils was real good tonight. Lils for me is a real solid, NHL five-six guy (fifth or sixth defenseman), big body, good penalty-killer, real important part of our team. So when you go through everything, the math doesn’t work out. We got five more (exhibition games) to figure it all out.”
I’m not sure if Ansar read that off the “Lilja for sale” ad Tick Tock Kenny Holland’s placed on Ebay or if Uncle Mike actually said it.
I love this line: “So when you go through everything, the math doesn’t work out.” Which math? What heavy-duty calculus are we talking about? The math that tells me Ericsson’s better? Or is it the salary cap math that says Lilja’s making 1.25? Here’s my math: Lilja’s been on the block for about 93 days.
October 9th? I think I’ll still be in Guam, where Little Gary plans to hold next year’s “Winter Classic.” Oh hey. Seen any ticket info on this year’s yet? Where are all the whiners who said back in July that I was bashing our buddy Bettman unnecessarily? Right. Got it.
Anyway, I’ll be in Guam for the season opener. For at least five or six minutes I’ll bet two other guys will wish they were there too. Hossa and Conklin. Man, what fun they’ll have watching that banner raised. Talk about an “awkward moment.” The last time they would have heard a Detroit crowd that raucus would have been with about 34.7 seconds left the last time they played a meaningful game in Detroit. Dammit. Yeah, they might be smiling a bit.
Nope. Still haven’t gotten over that, in case you’re wondering.
Sobbing Dive Apologist Terri Frei has written a hockey-centric Paul Newman obituary. And because he’s a Denver chablis sipper at heart, he couldn’t resist throwing a jab at the “transplants.”
Hockey fans tend to be proprietary about their sport, acting as if nobody should be allowed in the arenas who can’t name all three members of the Red Wings’ famed “Production Line” — or at least be able to explain why you shouldn’t get excited when a home-team winger takes a pass after crossing the blue line eight feet ahead of the puck.
Yep. We’re proprietary Terri. We kinda like our traditions. Be sure and tune in to Versus! on 9 October when the Wings continue one of theirs. You’ve seen a similar event in Denver…like the night you raised a piece of cloth to the rafters at the Ass Can or whatever they called it back then. Naturally, that was a jersey of a player who’d spent less than 1.5 seasons there, but whatever.
One more little ditty from the girls in Denver. By now you know who’s thinking comeback. And you’ve assumed there’s only one team stupid enough to give him a shot. Well, it looks like you might be right.
I got Claude on the phone and he’s pumped about this. “I know I can do it,” he said.
There should be a full story on denverpost.com any minute with more of his quotes. He very much would love to play for the Avs again, but we haven’t talked to anybody from the management yet. I’m sure Pierre Lacroix could be talked into giving him a shot, at least in Lake Erie. We’ll see.
Please. Please, please make it so.
Dammit. That seemed like such a good note to end on, until I read this. Puck Daddy did a good interview with the Emperor about the site re-design. A few comments have filtered in. First was Bubba blogger Paul Nicholson. Not a fan.
“Was there any concern about opinion pieces gumming up the works”
Have you ever *read* A2Y? Its the most opinionated, juvenile stuff i’ve read.
Exactly. Welcome to the sidebar Paul.
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Comments
Chief, I’m with you on Abbadabbafreakingwhateverlongname (future captain? If he develops his inner Drake like we’ve seen, no doubt he will be), Ericsson, Helm, and even Leino—causing my own inner curmudgeon who insists that he’s just this year’s Igor Grigorenko to piss and moan. But are you seriously suggesting that a goaltending pair of Howard/Larsson is better than, and hence should be on the NHL roster over, a pairing of Osgood/Conklin?
Now that’s just Kool-Aid. Along with the thought that Meech won’t be on the NHL roster. If he’s not traded, he’ll be with the big club this year—there’s no way Kenny & Co. will risk exposing him to waivers.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/29/08 at 06:03 AM ET
Pharazon: thanks for the tip. Corrected above.
Andrew: you serious-minded bastard. No, I’m not suggested that. Moreso pointing out the fact that we have a glorious crop of talent coming up.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 09/29/08 at 06:13 AM ET
This makes it all the more painful to be here in the Albany area of New York - if we get graced with a visit from the GR boys it’ll be just once and probably on a night where I’ll want to be in Troy following RPI instead.
I’m eager for the Hat-Trick Dick era to begin and even moreso to see the Dive bring LePew back to get his face pounded in by McCarty one more time.
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 09/29/08 at 06:54 AM ET
Math? MATH? Hahahahahahahah Uncle Mike doesn’t know how to do math!
Guam? GUAM? Hahahahahahahah There’s no hockey in Guam!
Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 09/29/08 at 07:03 AM ET
Obviously Abbadabbadoo needs a simpler name. How about Abelvader? It’s relatively short, easier to remember, and combines the God-like powers of Sid Abel and Darth Vader.
Posted by monkey from here to Timbuktu on 09/29/08 at 07:08 AM ET
Chief:
I think we should all be worried about Wally:
“I should have scored there,” said Filppula. “I had a lot of room up. I just couldn’t get it up.”
Posted by w2j2 on 09/29/08 at 08:28 AM ET
Chief, you know about me and my problem with sarcasm. But I’m getting help from family and friends and, God willing, I’ll beat this thing. One step at a time.
I blame you for posting intermittently, thus depriving us our daily does of sarcasm and juvenilicity, meaning that I forgot what it sounded like and thus got overly serious—as evidenced by my straight talk about rosters and trades, not to mention my sobering tirade about politicians. When normal service resumes, I’ll call for insane roster moves too. But if I may indulge in just a tad more seriousness…you omitted McCollum. Along with Howard and Larsson, I can’t remember a time when our goaltending pipeline looked so damned good. Provided one of them doesn’t pull a Cheveldae, We just may be set long-term in net. Along with the overloaded blueline and the two-way forward prospects, things look real good. All the kids that should be getting their chance today will get their chances one day, and if they’re over-ready, they’ll be hungering for it and will be absolute madmen when they crack the NHL roster. The future is bright for them, and hence for us.
And now that I’ve jinxed it, back to nascent infantilism! A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Is this some kind of joke?”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/29/08 at 09:03 AM ET
Thanks for the invite, but no thanks, Chief. You see, the words “Drunken Sailor” and “Buggery” are too closely associated for me to feel comfortable partying on an isolated island with you. Maybe a more public place next time, Chief, we wouldn’t want anyone spending time in the brig. 
And if Lilja remains on the team it will solely be for dramatic effect. Every good story (Wings Repeat Champions) needs tension to maintain momentum. Myself, I would prefer to take the Championship without the ulcer, but maybe I’m getting soft. Namu myoho renge kyo, bitches, myoho renge kyo.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/29/08 at 12:17 PM ET
Frei is such an a-hole for putting something like that in a tribute to Newman. Dude needs some balls on his chin to shut him the F#$% up. Didn’t that job belong to Claude?
I would love to see our GR team take on, say, the BJ. Seriously, I’d pay playoff prices for that.
Good point about the awkward moment Chief; I hope to get tickets and witness it myself. We shall see.
Posted by Osrt on 09/29/08 at 12:36 PM ET
Namu myoho renge kyo, bitches, myoho renge kyo
A buddhist hockey fan? Talk about your all time oxy-morons…
Igor Grigorenko
Where the hell is he btw?
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 09/29/08 at 01:35 PM ET
So how in the hell am I supposed to get driving directions from Google Maps when you didn’t tell us where in Guam??? If I’m going to make it there in 48 hours I figure I’ve gotta get in the car now!!!
Posted by BobTheZee on 09/29/08 at 01:59 PM ET
you didn’t tell us where in Guam???
BTZ, it’snot that big of an island. Just ask a local where the Chief is and mention free booze (aka hooch)....they will find him.
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, sippin rum & catchin some rays on 09/29/08 at 02:22 PM ET
Just ask a local where the Chief is and mention free booze (aka hooch)....they will find him.
Let’s see… at a distance of about 7100 miles I’ll have to average about 200 - 250 mph… I’d better get started!!! BTW, Chief, my preference is Merlot—Dry Creek is my current favorite.
Posted by BobTheZee on 09/29/08 at 06:09 PM ET
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sorry to tell you chief, but Dick Axelsson wont be in Grand Rapids this year..
after the exhibition season he’s going back to Sweden to play for Djurgarden of the SEL.
but yeah, Babcock’s lying again
Posted by Pharazon from England on 09/29/08 at 05:26 AM ET