KK Sponsors - Fathead | IceJerseys.com | Shop.NHL.com

LOGIN | REGISTER | RSS FEEDS

Abel to Yzerman

Next entry: Does Emrick Need A Nickname Too?

Previous entry: Down On Uncle Jim's Farm

It’s Monday Night And I’m Ready

by IwoCPO on 04/07/08 at 08:22 PM ET
Comments (11)

Tonite at my daughter’s teeball practice a kid spoke to me with a southern accent. I’m not sure what he said, but the tone was disrespectful.  So I gave him a forearm to the throat.  And, just before I ran away, I told him he’s going down in 5.

No, none of that happened.  But three more days of this crap can’t be good for anybody.

Stressed? No.  But Dave Waddell thinks you are.

It must be NHL playoff time in Detroit.

The whiffs of doubt fill the air and the nervous Nellie’s among the fan base are undergoing group therapy on the Internet as the Detroit Red Wings prepare for the playoff opener Thursday at home to the Nashville Predators.

Group therapy.  That’s what we’ve got going on here.  Baroque is Nurse Ratchett.  Gramps is Scanlon.  Rumbear is Martini.  Gabe is Chez. AndrewfromAnnArbor is R.P. McMurphy and I’m, naturally, the Chief.  We’re all a bunch of sick paranoids waiting for the next electroshock session.

Stressed? No.  Homer’s a little pissed off and we dig that.

Even the Predators have been remarkably candid about being happy to avoid San Jose and play Detroit instead.

The Wings won five of the eight meeting this season, with two of those coming in the shootout.
“Good for them,” said Tomas Holmstrom.

The Anti-Digger’s got the Wings’ fourth quarter grades and I guess he’s trying to make us all feel a little silly.

Mikael Samuelsson A-: Samuelsson has become the Robert Lang in some ways of this season in that he’s taking a lot of heat. If you judge him just by goals, then he’s a failure. But the Red Wings are a lot better with him in the lineup than out. Hopefully, he’ll return from a groin strain soon. Defensively underrated, Samuelsson helped the Red Wings outscore opponents 12-4 at even strength with him on the ice. He was at the point for 10 power-play goals in one 12-game stretch.

If that’s anyone but MacLeod, I’m going on for paragraphs about their stupidity.  But it’s not anyone else. It’s the Anti-Digger. And the only thing I can say to that, literally, is...ok.  You don’t argue with the Anti-Digger. Not here you don’t.

Worried about goaltending.  Tick Tock’s not. 

Detroit General Manager Ken Holland believes Hasek, behind a defense that usually limits foes to fewer than 21 shots a game, can still be the force that helped them win the Stanley Cup in 2002.

“If you look back a year ago, Dom took us to the final four,’’ Holland said. “Why wouldn’t you try it all over again? He gave us Stanley Cup goaltending last year.’’

Holland’s lying, of course.  Hasek’s one year older, one year crazier and about as consistent as your average Ottawa goalie.  There is no valid reason to be as confident as Holland claims, publicly, to be. Every single one of you are justifiably nervous and I’m proud of you for it.  The club car on the Stress Train is hereby named The Hasek. 

I guess the Detroit News is going all modern on us.  Stand by for technology tomorrow at 1145.

Steve Yzerman, Ken Holland and USA Today hockey writer Kevin Allen will provide an “insiders take” on the playoffs in a program hosted by the Detroit Sports Broadcasters Association. Catch the live Webcast exclusively on detnews.com.

Whew.  I thought three days left before the playoffs start would turn the world upside down and make weird things normal.  Nope. All is the same...at least in St. Louis.  While bloggers following sixteen other teams prepare for the playoffs, the Bitter Blues Bloggers settled right back into their standard offseason routine...playing the lottery.

The balls are spinning. The Blues have a decent shot at Stamkos.  He’s a franchise player, waiting to be plucked. Waiting to head to St. Louis to join a legacy of failure.  Soon, Steve Stamkos can lose to the Wings in the playoffs just like Pronger and Fuhr and Casey all did.  It will be glorious.

Woops.  Too bad.
St. Louis Game Time

And here we go.

Picking fifth: Islanders. That means Blues still alive for the top.

Picking fourth: ….the Blues. F***.

Aw. What a shame.  There’s always next year’s lottery Blues fans. Don’t worry.

Anyone care to guess who the BBBs are rooting for in Round 1? Here’s a shocker.

SLGT

Here in the Western Conference, we’re rooting for…whomever is playing the Red Wings. You’d think that we’d take the high road and actually pull for a Central Division team to win the Stanley Cup. Nope. Sorry, we lost our map and we’ll just stay here on the low road where we like it. And any Wings fans that might read this, no we’re not bitter. We just don’t like your team. Or your team’s fans. Or your city. That’s about it. So (gulp)…Go Predators!

Few things are funnier than watching Peter Forsberg limp down the tunnel in pain, but one of them is reading the Bitter Blues fans still throwing hate at the Wings.  Tee times kids.  Call ‘em in.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

The thrill, baby, it’s gone away from you.  Gone for good.

Posted by jrl123 on 04/07/08 at 08:41 PM ET

I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this…

Posted by pilgrim on 04/07/08 at 08:48 PM ET

“a kid spoke to me with a southern accent. I’m not sure what he said”

Welcome to my world, Chief!!

Posted by Chris from Columbia, Tennessee on 04/07/08 at 10:45 PM ET

Club Car Hasek is GREAT!!!!! I wouldn’t expect anything less.

“Red Wings, my Red Wings!”

Posted by BP29er from Livonia on 04/07/08 at 10:55 PM ET

“Vat do you mean I am driving?”

Dom’s driving

Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 04/08/08 at 12:45 AM ET

AndrewfromAnnArbor is R.P. McMurphy

Um, why is Ed Belfour at my door yelling, “Give me my title back!”

Now he’s putting on a Johnny Carson mask and getting out an axe.  I think I’d better call security.

Eh.  Time for my meds.  Bartender!  Bartender!

“I remember when
I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place...”

(Nate, that graphic is awesome.  You get to fill in for TeamDub while he’s gettin’ hitched.)

I’d rather have Cup #11 than Stamkos, and I suspect so would every other team.  I just don’t know if my heart, not to mention my liver, can make it that far.  Building up a head of steam in the loco…

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the medicine cabinet, hepped up on goofballs on 04/08/08 at 02:51 AM ET

Nate you rule!  I want to print that out and frame it right next to my tv.  Hmm, maybe I could make it a dart board?

I’m already scheming ways to get out of work early on Thursday so I don’t miss faceoff.  I can’t TiVo the first game, i just can’t.  Hopefully my boss will be in a good mood and let me leave work 30 minutes early.  Maybe it is time for bribery?

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 04/08/08 at 10:39 AM ET

Gabe is Chez.

Chief, that cracked me up. Then it made me cry. Mostly because of how many times I’ve wanted to go drown myself in the pool during the playoffs.

(Nate, that graphic is awesome.  You get to fill in for TeamDub while he’s gettin’ hitched.)

What Andrew said, Nate.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/08/08 at 10:41 AM ET

Rumbear is Martini.

Thanks Chief...I’m all ferklempt.

Great foto Nate...T-Dub has sure been getting hitched for a long time.  Hope he doesn’t develope one of those “abdominal-kneeicular injuries” that seem to plague sports folk from Michigan.

Back to The Hasek for me!

Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 04/08/08 at 11:31 AM ET

Holy Schnikees.  Check this out.  Including Nurse Ratched (spelled correctly now). Guess how many people are on that frigging nutso ward?  C’mon. Guess.  Straight from the flick.

“Nurse: There are eighteen patients on this ward, Mr. McMurphy. And you have to have a majority to change ward policy. So you gentlemen can put your hands down now.”

I’m a damn genius is what I am.

Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 04/08/08 at 11:39 AM ET

Holy crimeny, Chief...that’s a little on the eerie side.  I’m a bit surprised there was no comment from Baroque on the Nurse Ratched thing. 

Although...come to think of it, she really does rule this little padded corner of the internet with her cold logic and an authoritarian vocabulary...hmm…

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 04/08/08 at 02:45 PM ET

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome:

A2Y Stuff

-----------------------------

Wanna Feel Smart?

Does confusion make you sad? When you read words like "enigma" and phrases like "Thanks Gary. Ass", do you wonder why mean people speak in languages you don't understand? Fret no longer friend! The A2Y Glossary will bring you great joy and enlightenment.

-----------------------------

How Others View The A2Y 19

"Hell, I guarantee the content co-opters at Abel to Yzerman were about to link this article under the heading “Bitter Blues Fans” again right up until they just read that last half-sentance. Thanks but no thanks, you Kukla hangers-on."
--St. Louis Game Time

"I realize it’s the slow summer season, but can this guy tone down the tough-guy histrionics? His posts are fatiguing on an otherwise excellent site."
--A2Y Fan, Eternal_Fields

"I constantly marvel at how Bill (IwoCPO) and his disciples at Abel To Yzerman can be so pompous and full of themselves throughout every regular season, but come playoff time they collapse into wavering puddles of stress and nervousness as they anxiously await the impending and unavoidable collapse of the Red Wings in the post-season."
--Mile High Hockey

"I hate them because they are better than us. Of all the frigging teams…"
--In The Cheap Seats

"It's just a shame that the most classless, uneducated, lowbrow fanbase in the league gets this sweep. Red Wing fans don't deserve their team."
--Thhom

"I really don’t care what fans or bloggers think."
--Drew Sharp

"Why is it you Detroit fans are still so classless when you have such a classy hockey team, with such a professional GM and gentlemen players? I understand that the author of this blog is a manner-less cad, but the rest of you should be better."
--A2Y Fan, Jeff Beaumont

"Have you ever *read* A2Y? Its the most opinionated, juvenile stuff i've read."
--Paul Nicholson

"I actually like the Detroit team and have a sh&% load of respect for them, but their fans are the biggest douches next to Canadians."
--KStewy, PensBlog Commenter

"Just when it looks like we have bottomed out, the 19 hit a new low."
-A2Y legend, Hockeytown Todd

"And for the record, I don't hate the Red Wings, I hate their fans."
--Douche Bag at Puck Daddy who isn't Wyshynski

"You’re nothing but a douchebag ****, c3po. Go f**k yourself, and learn something about hockey in the process. Nothing ruins my day more than seeing your byline on the kk page."
--Hector, A2Y fan, statesman, Pittsburgh Chapter of Jonas Brothers Fan Club President

"I can just imagine the kindergarten teacher’s reaction when the tyke blurts out 'Mommy says Gary Bettman is a f*cking f*ckface! He wants to give ‘Rosby the bad touch.' ”
--Bella, of the 19

"A2Y is what other blog sites aspire to be when they fail to grow up: intelligent immaturity for the juvenile genius set”
--Captain Dennis Polonich, of the 19

Head to Hockeytown

Blogs the Chief Likes

Archives