yeah...I love this time of year

Posted by johnnygloveside on 05/21/08 at 07:54 PM ET

Damn IwoCPO, you’re waging war over at PensBlog.  Funny stuff!

Interesting how this can all be done in good spirit, so far.  The three Dive fans should get off their high horse (yes, we know they love riding together) and take note.  I doubt it, but maybe they could learn a thing or two.

Posted by lilja4ever on 05/21/08 at 08:07 PM ET

Well done!

Not a photochop, but a relevant image?

Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 05/21/08 at 08:35 PM ET

Pittsburgh trashing the D? Isn’t that a pot, kettle, black sort of thing? If I see one more overturned cop car/Detriot/city on fire reference, I’m going postal!

Wait, wouldn’t that be living up to the “Detriot” stereotype? Damn…

Posted by Big Al from Somewhere in he Detroit suburbs on 05/21/08 at 08:36 PM ET

The Enzyte photoshop is brilliant.  I also liked the cruelty to animals bit Pensblog did.  We’re off to a great start.

Posted by Dave on 05/21/08 at 09:03 PM ET

“or signed when no one else would (Cleary, Samuelsson, Lilja).”

Ok, Lilja?  No one’s perfect.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from COLUMBIA, TENNESSEE on 05/21/08 at 09:10 PM ET

Sid is onside in that pic

Posted by Pensblog on 05/21/08 at 09:11 PM ET

At some point scorn turns to pity for the poor Pensbloggots who have been deprived of a rich hockey history much like their emblem the penguin is deprived of flight.  As the majestic welcoming banner to A2Y aptly depicts, Red Wings history is an anthology of legendary feats and heroes.  It’s a tradition that speaks ineffably to the true Wings fan and is impossible to describe to the uninitiated.  The true meaning of the sport is carved into the Hieroglyphic-like crags, gouges and divots of Ted Lindsey’s iconic face, the Rosetta Stone that deciphers all that is worthy in the greatest sport in the world.  It speaks a language only the truly deserving can hear, and A2Y members speak this language in our sleep.
Sorry, Pens fans, your three rivers will soon be joined by a fourth filled with tears.

Posted by JimS on 05/21/08 at 09:12 PM ET

Hey Pensblog, he was actually backchecking and got undressed by Hank at the blueline.

Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from COLUMBIA, TENNESSEE on 05/21/08 at 09:15 PM ET

The problem with Lilja is that it’s a two-for-one deal.  You get the shot-blocking maniac, but you also get his evil brother the turnover generator.  They alternate at random - although evil twin Lilja tends to emerge at crucial points in games.

(The Enzyte one is hilarious, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that of course, birds don’t have external genetalia.  It’s hard enough to fly or swim without a dangling penis increasing drag.  I know everyone knows that, and it’s a matter of artistic license, but I had to say it.)

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/21/08 at 09:16 PM ET

Lilja, I was admiring the comments over at Pensblog too when my wife walked in and asked “PenisBlog? What?”

Yeah, she needs glasses, but I was amused.

Given their cumulative reaction on the subject of the female form, it seems uncomfortably appropriate.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 05/21/08 at 09:18 PM ET

Baroque, everyone knows that most of the Penguin players are lacking in external genetalia too, but its funnier to pretend that they aren’t. 

Joke killer.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 05/21/08 at 09:23 PM ET

I had to mention it - a veritable legion of biology teachers would be disappointed in me otherwise! 

Maybe instead of an Emperor penguin it should have been a jackass penguin.  Or is that not juvenile enough?

(And yes, a jackass penguin is a real animal.  It sounds like a braying ass, hence the name.)

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/21/08 at 09:29 PM ET

Baroque, everyone knows that all of the Penguin players are lacking in genitalia. 

Fixed.

Posted by Dave on 05/21/08 at 09:31 PM ET

More hateful comments from bird country:

http://mondesishouse.blogspot.com/2008/05/get-to-know-detroit-michigan.html

Posted by w2j2 on 05/21/08 at 09:39 PM ET

Alright Baroque, I guess I can understand. Besides…

It’s hard enough to fly or swim without a dangling penis increasing drag.

I know. Suffering from penis drag is horrible. I constantly tell myself to just take it one day at a time.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 05/21/08 at 09:42 PM ET

I can be annoying correcting all the errors in movies - especially when they pretend to know anything about genetics or evolution.  I can get frothing-at-the-mouth-rabid with aggravation when they are really, really wrong.

I know. Suffering from penis drag is horrible. I constantly tell myself to just take it one day at a time.

You poor thing.  I hope it clears up soon!

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/21/08 at 09:49 PM ET

JIMS—I feel asleep after reading your second sentence.

Has anyone here actually watched more than 5 Pens games?  People are talking about lack of two-way play from forwards, of defensemen just hitting forwards on the fly, that the Penguins don’t play a system, etc.

From one hockey fan that knows the game to all of you that know the game: the Pens have played a system extremely well, their defensemen are being severely unappreciated by Wings fans, and their forwards are in fact two-way players.

Crosby and Malkin aren’t on the ice for penalty kills because they don’t have to be.  Why would the Pens put them on the PK?  When you have depth and role players, you don’t need to have your top guns killing penalties.

We aren’t going to talk about the Red Wings in depth over where we come from because we don’t know the Wings.  We’re not going to pretend to know what they’re about and make broad assumptions on how they play...mainly because we don’t want to come off sounding like what we’ve been reading here.

You’re confident about your team.
There is nothing wrong with that.

But the entire intelligent hockey conversation gets dumbed down when people start talking about stuff that they do not know about.
We don’t spark intelligent conversation in our neck of the internet because that’s what everyone else is doing.

We know the game.  We don’t have to repeatedly tell people and prove to people that we do.

Pens in 11

Posted by Pensblog on 05/21/08 at 10:00 PM ET

Hah! Baroque, I feel your pain. My wife won’t be in the same room with me when Armageddon comes on TV.  I love that movie because I can yell non-stop about the science in that movie.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 05/21/08 at 10:09 PM ET

Pens in

Posted by get it out from your mouth on 05/21/08 at 10:11 PM ET

I can be annoying correcting all the errors in movies - especially when they pretend to know anything about genetics or evolution.

You’re in good company, Baroque. Both of my best friends are geologists and they love to rent movies in order to mock all the science errors. The Day After Tomorrow was a veritable smorgasbord for them. (I’m not much better - I ripped into Memento because it wasn’t psychologically accurate.)

On-topic: Gary as Pee Wee Herman is now my screensaver. Thanks Nate A!

(My code word is mu24st. Wait, Cheli must play or Cheli must sit? Damn it, specifics are necessary when Lilja is the “go to” man when Cheli sits.)

Posted by Aphaea from Pennsylvania on 05/21/08 at 10:18 PM ET

Pensblog, the underestimations (is that a word?) are flying both ways, but regardless, I couldn’t agree more.  I don’t know the Pens very well, but even if I did I wouldn’t presume to know with certainty how the two teams are going to match up.

I just wish that there were a way for these two teams to actually settle the debate.  A competition of some sort, where they could test these skills against one another and determine once and for all who is the more dominant team.  But since there isn’t, I guess we’ll just need to resign ourselves to dealing with hypothetical arguments.

Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 05/21/08 at 10:21 PM ET

I just wish that there were a way for these two teams to actually settle the debate.  A competition of some sort, where they could test these skills against one another and determine once and for all who is the more dominant team.

You mean like the BCS?  Someone could set up a computer poll to figure it out. 

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/21/08 at 10:37 PM ET

Has anyone here actually watched more than 5 Pens games?

Well, how many Mondays/Tuesdays are there in the season? That’s how many times we’ve watched Lil’ Gary’s and Versus’ favorite team play. But, hey, we understand Lil’ Gary likes to see his love child when he’s not right there in Pittsburgh.

Crosby and Malkin aren’t on the ice for penalty kills because they don’t have to be.

Neither are Hank and Pav. We’ve got Mule, Cleary, Drapes, Malts, Flip and Dr. Death that can do the job just fine, thank you. But 2/3 of the Flying Circus is out there because they comprise 2/3 of the Selke Trophy candidates. Cindy and Malkin? Not so much. And for good reason. One thing I’ve learned from watching the Pens 500 times this year (Thanks, Gary. Ass.) is that Malkin is the last guy you’d want out there on the PK.

But the entire intelligent hockey conversation gets dumbed down when people start talking about stuff that they do not know about.

See, PB, I think you’ve misunderstand what A2Y is all about. I don’t think it’s ever been about “intelligent hockey conversation”. In fact, quite the opposite. It’s juvinilosity raised to the highest order...or maybe it’s the lowest order. Whatever. It’s just good clean fun (even though Miss B did say “penis” tonight...blush).

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 05/21/08 at 10:59 PM ET

I know. Suffering from penis drag is horrible. I constantly tell myself to just take it one day at a time.

Beat me to it Gabe. Rock out with you C00k out, as the kids say...or er...as I think they say cause I’m no longer allowed near playgrounds.

ewww…

Pensblog: Don’t you just hate it when people talk about a team or, say, a city they don’t really know about but spit out every ignorant claim they’ve overheard by (douchey) talking heads? Me too. 11? Looks like Enzyte is working.

BTW Chief: You should know that the Electronic Music Festival is happening this weekend; it begins on Saturday in Hart Plaza!  So, you’ll have an even harder time finding parking and as you go the Joe, you’ll see a whole bunch of crazy kids dancing to glass shattering bass lines; expect the 130 decibel range!

I’m going to the music festival for sure, not only because some legendary djs are playing, but also to see Detroit alive with the sounds it created. Amazing.

Posted by Osrt on 05/21/08 at 11:07 PM ET

“...without a dangling penis increasing drag.”

Thanks Baroque! Now there’s something to discuss around the pool here at the clinic tomorrow.  Can’t wait to get the new therapist’ take on that.  Certainly more entertaining than the last topic you provided on even toed ungulates and the convergent evolution.  Of course that one had them muttering something about involuntary sedation. I’m thinking these four day stays are wearing thin on all fronts. 

Let’s play hockey!

Oh yeah, we have to wait...Thanks Gary. Ass.

Posted by Rumbear from Betty Ford Center on 05/21/08 at 11:11 PM ET

why don’t you compare apples with apples instead of apples with sour grapes…

How many minutes of PK time were H & D getting before they could LEGALLY buy a drink or in completing their 2nd year in the league? [that’s S & E to keep the paulinmiamibeach theme rolling from over on tPB]

Malkin DOES kill penalties with Hossa now, on the 3rd unit...Sid usually is the 1st over the boards once the PK is thru OR sometimes is out their on the PK at the very tail end if the team is trailing and needs an offensive spark. Geno was one of the leading PK’ers for Team Russia in the ‘06 Olympics for good-ness sakes. BUT. The Pens have enough role players that perform admirably on the PK that risking further injury to Sid’s less than 100% H.A.S. & to Geno, isn’t necessary.
Z & D are AWESOME at the PK & are much deserving of the Selke Trophy Nominations [will having both nominated, split their votes & cause Madden to steal it away?] I can only hope that when S & E reach the ages of Z [27] & D [29] their defensive game will be at these 2 Wings’ level.

The Pens main weapon on the PK is the 19 year old Staal, who is as cool as the other side of the pillow & picking up steam the further these playoffs have gone on, to make up for a lack-luster regular season [stats-wise]. To say that he is wise beyond his years, would be an understatement.

Posted by dr. turkleton on 05/21/08 at 11:25 PM ET

pensblog: he may be onside for now, but wait until he gets near a red sweater, then he’ll put that swim gear to use

Posted by scheisskopf on 05/21/08 at 11:28 PM ET

that’s a good point dr. t, since dats used to be called delma huddle, before he became who he is today- but no one’s arguing about the scary amount of raw talent that the pens have. it’s gonna be cool to see the team grow, that’s for sure.

Posted by scheisskopf on 05/21/08 at 11:35 PM ET

Sorry to beat a dead horse, but aren’t you guys worried about keeping the team intact with the Salary cap in place? That’s a lot of talent for vultures with offer sheets.

just asking

Posted by Osrt on 05/22/08 at 12:17 AM ET

wings=Yanks due to the fact that they both have an uninformed and douchetastic fanbase that think they should be handed a championship every year. People would call Pittsburgh hockeytown but we sell out too many games.

Posted by H.C. Prick on 05/22/08 at 02:57 AM ET

Mr. Prick (by the way, is that an honorary title or are you descended from a long line of pricks?):

Wings fans migrate the globe with evangelical zeal, evidenced by the presence of so many red shirts with winged wheels at arenas around North America. That’s one reason for the attendance anomalies. Also, industry in Detroit, unlike Pittsburgh, isn’t protected by rigid steel tariffs intended to evade global competition.  That’s another reason for the empty seats.

And for the record, Hockeytown is more than a place: It’s a state of mind.  And if you don’t like it, you can call us Titletown.  In about a week you’ll know why.

Posted by JimS on 05/22/08 at 03:47 AM ET

I thought Rain Malkin was particularly funny.  Well done.

Posted by Ryan from Toronto on 05/22/08 at 04:11 AM ET

Pens fans, you seem to be missing a crucial aspect of what it means to be a two-way forward: defense.  You know, the less flashy way?  Being a defensive forward does not mean logging huge PK time, but it means being defensively responsible in all situations: even-strength, penalty kill, and even the power play.  Especially even-strength.  Since your team will not always have the puck five-on-five, you need to be able to play that other side of the puck.  Backcheck, be in position, make the takeaways and disrupt passes.  Clear the zone and block shots.  Act like every second on the ice is a penalty kill, whether it is or not.

I’ve watched the Pens a fair amount this year, both regular season and playoffs, and I haven’t seen much of those things from your big two.  I’ve seen some backchecking, but only lately as a necessity.  Most of the year, they were defensively mediocre, but not superb.  That’s not a two-way forward, a Selke finalist-- that’s a bread-and-butter offensive player.

It isn’t about who’s out on the PK.  That’s the point-- Datsyuk and Zetterberg are on the top PK unit because they’re good defensive forwards-- NOT the other way around.  If you doubt that, ask Dallas.  Their lethal power play that was converting one in four of its chances in the first two rounds was rendered completely ineffective with those two on the ice.  And while they were there, they scored two shorthanded goals.  Dave Tippett said it best, when he said that they were a line you should be checking, but at the same time, they’re checking you.

As for the summer, well...I see offer sheets and arbitration a-comin’.  Especially as Malkin has said that Pittsburgh won’t be getting a hometown discount from him like they did from Crosby.  Dig deep into those pockets, Mario…

And now back to juvenilicity.  Heh heh...Mario digging into his pockets.  Heh.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from right behind you...reaching for your pockets on 05/22/08 at 04:15 AM ET

The Wings are not the Yankees of the NHL

...Ducks are only team allowed to sign every big FA and somehow stay under the cap?

Posted by millsz from Brownstown on 05/22/08 at 06:34 AM ET

Found the quote:

“We didn’t have much answer for them tonight,” Tippett said. “Those two are a rare breed, because they’re a line that you look at that you should be checking, but in actual fact they’re a checking line.”

And Osrt, have a great time at the DEMF...I miss the Detroit techno scene and the clubs so very much.  If you run into Derrick May, tell him Andrew, that weird guy with long hair that used to hang out with Josh Jacobson and Kaylesh Pandiya while they did his laser shows says hello.  I’m pretty sure he won’t remember me, but it’s worth a shot.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the Remodel Hart Plaza Now! action campaign on 05/22/08 at 07:22 AM ET

Hey Chief, you can toss Lebda onto that list. A Notre Dame Hockey grad (that phrase alone causes eyes to bulge) passed over in the draft and allowed to come to Camp.

millsz - Rangers are giving the Ducks some good competition on that one I think.

Posted by Dahrken from Grand Rapids, MI on 05/22/08 at 07:42 AM ET

Let’s play hockey!

Oh yeah, we have to wait...Thanks Gary. Ass.

No kidding.  Give this crew another 12 hours and someone will attempt to gnaw off his own arm just to relieve the boredom.

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/22/08 at 07:59 AM ET

gonna be cool to see the team grow, that’s for sure.

Yeah, it’s going to be cool watching them grow on different teams because you can’t tie up $30 million in three players (Crosby, Malkin, Hossa). And unless Malone and/or Staal take a pay cut, you probably can’t keep them both.

Pens fans, some of us have watched your team. I’ve seen eight games this postseason, and about another dozen in the regular season. I have fully acknowledged that the Pens are currently playing good team defense and playing within their system on my various comments at Pensblog.

I am simply saying that Detroit has played the system better, and Detroit has better defensemen. If you had watched the Wings consistently over the last 15 years you’d understand that this club has a system and culture ingrained in it, while the Pens have only been doing it for a half-season.

So, going on what we know from history, you have to give Detroit the edge when talking about the team system. Doesn’t mean that won’t change. That’s why they play the games.

As for which defense corps is better? Come on, you can’t be serious. We’re not saying the Pens haven’t played great D. We’re not saying that Hal Gill hasn’t been surprisingly decent. We’re just saying look at the players and be honest. Lidstrom, Rafalski, Kronwall, and Stuart? Or Gonchar, Whitney, Gill, and Orpik?

Please.

Again, it doesn’t mean that your D won’t outplay our D. It just means that before the games start, analyzing the matchups ahead of time, all you can go on is history, and history tells us that our D is definitely better than yours.

Posted by Nathan from Jonny Ericsson's ice cream truck on 05/22/08 at 08:25 AM ET

We need to pause briefly and give credit where credit is due- the brilliant Penguins organization, able to stitch together a Stanley Cup contender with a nucleus of overachievers such as Crosby (really, who else would have thought to select him first overall?), Malkin (#2), Staal (#2), Fleury (#1), as well as mining the league for hidden talent such as Hossa (#12), and Gonchar (#14).
How are these guys supposed to deal with the Evil Empire composed of “can’t miss” choices like Lidstrom (#53), Datsyuk (#171), Zetterberg (#210), and Osgood (#54)?
If anyone needs help finding a visceral reason for hating the Penguins, remember, if they had moved the franchise to Las Vegas (as rumor had it when all of their front-running, bandwagon jumping, new found fans were studiously ignoring hockey), the Wings might have gotten their rightful spot in the East and we’d get to see the Leafs in town more often than every other Leap Year.

Posted by BobS. on 05/22/08 at 08:33 AM ET

The Pens main weapon on the PK is the 19 year old Staal, who is as cool as the other side of the pillow...To say that he is wise beyond his years, would be an understatement.

Granted. In spades. In fact, other than Malkin charging up the ice with a full head of steam, Staal’s play is the only thing about the Pens that really scares me. The Wings have had their troubles this year with big forwards (Nash, Getzlaf, et al) and pesky checkers with an offensive upside like Staal.

As for Cindy? Well, a healthy dose of St. Nick will be more than enough to keep his goal total at, what is it now, oh, right, four.

Mr. Prick (by the way, is that an honorary title or are you descended from a long line of pricks?)

Brilliant!

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 05/22/08 at 08:34 AM ET

My best efforts.  Sorry, I suck at PhotoShop.

Posted by Primis on 05/22/08 at 09:12 AM ET

Little Gary as Pee Wee = priceless!

I’m never going to make it two more days.

Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 05/22/08 at 09:20 AM ET

@ Primis:

I think those are hilarious!

Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/22/08 at 09:22 AM ET

From the Globe and Mail’s Eric Duhatschek…

Up front, both teams have star forwards who can play a little defence, although Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk probably rank slightly ahead of Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby in that category at the moment (two years from now, it could be a different story).

Selke Troghy finalists (including the eventual winner) Hank and Pavel can play a “little” defense? They’re “slightly” better than Malkin and Cindy? Geez, who woulda thought Canada would be the first to legalize crack for use by hockey writers.

And well done, Primis!

Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 05/22/08 at 09:38 AM ET

Jesus Primis, if that’s what you produce when you SUCK at Photoshop, I’d hate to see what you’d churn out if you excelled at it…

And I thought the New York Yankees of the NHL were...the New York Rangers.

Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the x-rated Photo Shop...err... on 05/22/08 at 09:44 AM ET

The Yankees aren’t even the Yankees anymore, the new Yankees are the Red Sox.  Hmm...Red Sox, Red Wings...CONSPIRACY!

Posted by Matt from Chicago on 05/22/08 at 10:14 AM ET

Hey Chief. We always go to Andrew’s On The Corner, and take there bus down. You can even bring your drink. It is only $5.00 to park, and the bus is free. Send me an email if you want directions.

Posted by jmara85 on 05/22/08 at 10:53 AM ET

You sicken me comparing the Red Sox to the Red Wings.

The Red Sox have a player on the disabled list with a cracked fingernail. 

Besides, if anyone is the Yankees, it’s the Canadiens.  Tons of history, tons of titles, and universally disliked.  This, also makes the Red Sox the Maple Leafs.  Tons of history, not as many titles as Les Habitents and also universally disliked.

Posted by HockeyJoe from NY on 05/22/08 at 10:55 AM ET

“At some point scorn turns to pity for the poor Pensbloggots who have been deprived of a rich hockey history much like their emblem the penguin is deprived of flight.”

Since the Pens were brought into the league in ‘67 the Wings have three titles to our two.  Not much to brag about, but we will give you guys props for the head start.

Posted by Boy from the Burgh from Pittsburgh, the greatest city on Earth! on 05/22/08 at 10:56 AM ET