Abel to Yzerman
LB: Follow Doctor Rock’s Prescription Before Watching This Game
by VooX on 01/27/10 at 06:30 PM ET
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The Detroit Red Wings are in Minnesota, home of emo faux-journalist Pinky, and it is another Live Blog.
My fellow Wings fans and I have been kicked in the jewels all season long, suffering one bitter disappointment after another.
Just when the 19 think we’ve seen it all, living through everything Jobu has thrown our way, we now have to contend with perennial loser Gil Gunderson mocking us. Gil Gunderson is a better closer than the Red Wings. And the Stanley Cup is for closers only.
There is a movement to adopt Alec Baldwin as our spiritual mascot. Normally I am opposed to the glorification of any member of the Baldwin family, but Alec did deliver some of the most compelling motivational dialog in the history of the universe. So I can’t disagree with the 19 adopting him as a mascot. If only the Red Wings would as well.
Check out this contribution from member of the 19, Behind Enemy Lines:
Great stuff, and likely only the tip of the iceberg. The Cup is for closers, bitches. Would someone please inform the Red Wings?
If the Wings continue to torment the 19 by letting leads slip away, we are in for a massive crisis. Lives are on the line, the health and well being of 19 of my closest imaginary friends are in jeopardy as they contemplate jumping off bridges, diving headfirst for halos.
I’m no pharmacist, but I think there is a surefire prescription to prevent mass suicide. The 19 must carefully follow the medical advice of Ween, graduates of the Dr. Rock School of Medicine.
Booze me up and get me high, bitches, it is going to be a long night.
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About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
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