Abel to Yzerman
LB: I Wish Those Playoff Games Would Come Back Once More
by VooX on 03/20/10 at 09:10 PM ET
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As the 19 have seen, the Wings get whiskey-dick around basement dwelling teams. They also give away the puck as if it were a doobie to be shared. It’s time the Wings got greedy for WINS and Bogarted the puck all game. Replace puff-puff-pass with pass-pass-shoot.
The Wings are facing a very strong Vang-couver (how the locals pronouce it) team. William Tell has even gotten a career high in scoring, and until he was felled by injury recently, it would have been interesting to see Sammy play as a “sniper” against us. Who knew Sammy could shoot anywhere but high and wide?
Uncle Mike was a hero a few weeks ago in Vang-couver, he will once again be a villain tonight. Only because he is at the helm of every teams’ most envied squad, our Detroit Red Wings.
Last night, Edmonton’s goalie, Devan Dubnyk, was offered bribes from a couple of Flames players to win the game. Traditionally the two teams are fierce enemies. It was considered blasphemy when the two teams traded players before this season’s trade deadline. But that is what the hatred of the Wings will do to teams. The hatred will bring long-time rivals together to unite against the common enemy, the evil Red Wings.
Today, word is Patrick Kane is offering to give Canuck’s goalie Roberto Luongo a lapdance if Luongo wins tonight. 20-cent even promises not to grow any chest hair before the big dance. Of course, the Wings will do everything they can to stop the lapdance from happening, even if it means showing up to play tonight like this shite means something to them.
You may have seen RWBill’s Peloton of Suck graph earlier today. While the 10-15 pack falls behind us, the race between 7-9th place is as tight as ever. We need to WIN tonight to ensure that we stay in our rightful place, in playoff position. Calgary will surpass us if we lose based upon regulation wins, and Nashville has been winning consistently as though Bubba could give a shite now that Nascar season is gearing up.
I wish the days of the Red Wings coasting into the playoffs were back again. I wish they could win 5 in-a-row without breaking a sweat. I wish I didn’t have to watch out-of-town scores and tremble at what they might bring. But alas, that is not the case. We are balls-deep in the playoff race and there is no pulling out now. The only thing I can wish for is that the Wings make the playoffs through tenacious and gritty play that earns them WINS. And that these hard-fought WINS make us the toughest eighth-seed to go up against in playoff history.
Patrick Kane is offering his body up as a prize to help get the Wings eliminated from facing Junior in the post-season. Helm only knows what bounty is being offered by Los Tiburones to Luongo and the Vang-couver players tonight.
It doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is the WIN. We can’t afford to let any game go, and hopefully last night’s turd in the punchbowl is a stark reminder to the players to wake the fuch up and play hockey like the Red Wings should.
I wish the days of Red Wings domination were here. I wish the Wings WIN tonight in a convincing manner.
The bar is open all night for those staying up late to watch the game. As your bartender, your wish is my command, bitches.
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