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Little Gary’s Wet Dream: No Wings In ASG
by IwoCPO on 01/21/09 at 09:34 AM ET
Comments (102)
The happy clowns are racing to Gary’s HQ. The fire trucks are warmed up, helium tanks are on ready-standby and re-runs of Blossom are showing on every monitor in the NHL’s front office. All the special things that make Little Gary Bettman’s life a happy one are converging on this wonderful day.
Capped off by this news: there will be zero representation from the Detroit Red Wings in Montreal.
Datsyuk? Hurt last night. Hip flexor. Lidstrom? Well, now we’re talking a few new frames for our Deep Diggers’ highlight reel.
Apparently, he’s out. Apparently, Stephane Robidas is in and has known he’s in for some time.
The NHL hasn’t officially announced it yet, but Stephane Robidas said he was told by GM Les Jackson that he had been invited as a fill-in.
Not sure who might be hurt or what, but it appears Robidas will be in Montreal Jan. 25 for the 2009 NHL All-Star Game.
That was 4 days ago.
And this today.
Marleau and Dallas Stars defenseman Stephane Robidas have been named to the Western Conference team to replace injured Detroit Red Wings Pavel Datsyuk and Nicklas Lidstrom, respectively, in the 57th NHL All-Star Game in Montreal’s Bell Centre on Sunday.
No mention from the Diggers. I’m sure they’re tracking it. Tracking it hard. We’ll give them a few hours. The likelihood? Lidstrom’s getting a break. A ficticious injury, or a minor one, something not significant enough to keep him from absolutely dominating last night..which he did. The only Wing who didn’t suck and suck hard last night, by the way.
Bottom line: No representation from your Stanley Cup Champsions. Another possibility? Hossa was probably asked to replace Datsyuk. Rafalski, like last year, was probably asked to replace Lidstrom—-whenever that may have been, eh Ansar? Both probably declined. And that’s a good thing for two reasons.
It exposes Little Gary’s county fair for the joke that it is. And it gives the Wings some much-needed time off to consider how to stop playing like garbage. It gives every one of them a few days to consider just how pathetic you have to be to give up six goals in consecutive nights. In front of your dads, no less.
Ahhh, well. Congrats to the little tyke. Affirmation for Gary that the NHL simply doesn’t need the Detroit Red Wings. Doesn’t need them in the Eastern Conference where they belong. Doesn’t need them in the All Star Game. Certainly the league doesn’t need the Wings as a top billing in the Winter Classic. Hell, we don’t even need the Wings in the Finals anymore. Were they even there last year? The guy in the Jackatoreum doesn’t seem to think so.
Oh. Here it comes. Here come the catcalls, the “Wing fans are whining again”. Yeah? F’ing A right we are. Don’t like it? The Wings have carried this league for a decade. And still…the shaft is all theirs.
Revenue sharing? Thank the Wings. TV contract? Thank the Wings. Merchandise? Sellouts, if any? Price gouging in places like Phoenix? Thank the Wings, bitches.
Whatever. Just like last year, it’ll make winning it again this June that much sweeter.
Do we care that there are no Wings going to Montreal? Nope. That gives me about six hours back I’d waste in front of the tv. It’s the principle though Gary. Look it up.
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Comments
Well now there is 0 chance of me watching this. Oh well.
Posted by Sp4r7an on 01/21/09 at 09:50 AM ET
My status on the ASG went from “viewer” to “casual checker-inner”, let the francophiles have their farce. I don’t really care anymore.
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 01/21/09 at 10:12 AM ET
The only Wing who didn’t suck and suck hard last night, by the way.
Amen.
And it gives the Wings some much-needed time off to consider how to stop playing like garbage. It gives every one of them a few days to consider just how pathetic you have to be to give up six goals in consecutive nights. In front of your dads, no less.
Double amen.
Chief, this could very well be the most truth you’ve spoken in a single post, ever. Since 1977.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 01/21/09 at 10:16 AM ET
All the more reason to scrap the ASG. Congrats to Montreal on 100 years. Let’s hope they can also be the answer to the trivia question: who hosted the final ASG?
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/21/09 at 10:18 AM ET
Gary hates the Red Wings so much that half their games are nationally televised.
Posted by Jim on 01/21/09 at 10:22 AM ET
I really thought the team quit last night and I haven’t felt that way in a long time. Glad the break is coming up. Hopefully everyone can get healthy and start playing better. The play was sloppy and then just deginerated from there.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 01/21/09 at 10:34 AM ET
None of us needs to watch this dog and pony show. Frankly, this is a good time to step away from the game for a week for all of us. Except this blog of coarse.
Uncle Mike can let them rest until next week, and then give them a good kick in the ass. In spite of Gary. Ass., we still have a promising spring to look forward to.
Posted by Jeff from Loveland, CO on 01/21/09 at 10:36 AM ET
I’m actually happy about this. The last few years watching the ASG has felt like a chore. Now I feel no reason to. Sweet, I’ve got a weekend with absolutely nothing to do.
Posted by DetroitHockey on 01/21/09 at 10:37 AM ET
Perspective:
Western Conference all-star team representatives from the Dallas Stars: 2
Western Conference all-star team representatives from the Detroit Red Wings: 0
Detroit record: 31-9-6
Dallas record: 19-18-7
Stefane Robidas: 2, 18, +9.
Brian Rafalski: 7, 28, +12
Posted by shanetx on 01/21/09 at 10:38 AM ET
I had no plans on watching that bitch anyway. This totally seals it.
Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 01/21/09 at 10:48 AM ET
OK I just thought of something, which everyone else probably realized a while ago. Is Detroit going to be the ONLY team that is not represented in the ASG? If so that would be sweet. If all of the other 20-flugging-9 teams are represented but the Stanley Cup Champs… ideal.
Does anyone know for sure if that’s true?
Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 01/21/09 at 10:53 AM ET
Gary hates the Red Wings so much that half their games are nationally televised.
and how many people actually get the NHL Network?
hmmm….
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 01/21/09 at 11:20 AM ET
If all of the other 20-flugging-9 teams are represented but the Stanley Cup Champs… ideal.
Does anyone know for sure if that’s true?
Yes I just checked, and Detroit, is the only team not represented. But, that being said, I’m sure the NHL asked Det players, but they turned it down. Very interesting though.
Posted by Sp4r7an on 01/21/09 at 11:25 AM ET
Yep gary is Orgasmic because there are no winds in the ASG< Good God Take a couple of Midols it your time of the month
Maybe with you it would take the entire bottle
Posted by Evilpens on 01/21/09 at 11:34 AM ET
Babcock will be there representing the Wings. Hopefully he can chat with Todd McLellan and get some defensive pointers for the team. The absence of McLellan is the only thing different about the Wings D this year. Coincidence?
Posted by Aaron from Phoenix on 01/21/09 at 11:40 AM ET
“Wing fans are whining again”. Yeah? F’ing A right we are. Don’t like it? The Wings have carried this league for a decade. And still…the shaft is all theirs.
I’d say we flat out bitch.
It’s the principle though Gary.
Little Tyke’s aren’t well known for understanding matters of sound reason nor principle. My seven year old has a firm grasp on both though, then again I think he’s taller than the Little Tyke too.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/21/09 at 11:40 AM ET
Deuce, you would be correct. The defending Stanley Cup Champions Detroit Red Wings will be the only team without representation in this year’s All Star Game.
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago...nope, still not over it. on 01/21/09 at 11:42 AM ET
I like how this lays out. We get a week off, while Todd gets to coach a meaningless game distracting him from focusing on February which will be the Sharks’ toughest scheduling all year. We keep our eyes on the prize, and watch as San Jose fall in the WC standings.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 01/21/09 at 12:08 PM ET
FTR the Wings will be represented by Uncle Mike at the ASG. He will wear the fedora so there will be no doubt who is the Pimp on the bench, bitches.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 01/21/09 at 12:11 PM ET
I am so OK with this. Rest up fellas, and pull your heads out of your asses soon. Enjoy watching your colleagues put on the annual song-and-dance routine while LG giggles, claps, and spits up on himself like an infant.
Thanks for the breather, Gary. Ass.
Posted by Incognetis from Delaware... Hi... I'm in... Delaware on 01/21/09 at 12:16 PM ET
Oh. Here it comes. Here come the catcalls, the “Wing fans are whining again”. Yeah? F’ing A right we are. Don’t like it? The Wings have carried this league for a decade. And still…the shaft is all theirs.
Revenue sharing? Thank the Wings. TV contract? Thank the Wings. Merchandise? Sellouts, if any? Price gouging in places like Phoenix? Thank the Wings, bitches.
I know three things to be true:
1. Gary Bettman has been a godsend for the Red Wings. Under his reign of horrible mismanagement, the Wings have had unparalleled success.
2. Is there a conspiracy? Yes. The Wings’ success has made them an intensely polarizing team - you love ‘em or hate ‘em. Gary knows this and he knows you can’t sell a product when your message pisses off the fans of 29 other teams. So why are so many of their games nationally televised, Jim? It’s not because they’re the good guys, it’s because they’re the villains. And they’re treated as such. You don’t need to do anything more than watch them try to get to their Winter Classic dressing room to know that’s a fact.
3. For all of our juvenile, petty, paranoid rantings, the above quote is the most profoundly truthful thing I’ve read in a long, long time.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 01/21/09 at 12:40 PM ET
Classic, Incognetus.
Li’l Gary needs a bib. And would someone change him? It’s definitely time.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 01/21/09 at 12:41 PM ET
Gabe, either you didn’t drink last night or you are having a moment of clarity?
Well said regardless.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/21/09 at 12:44 PM ET
Yep gary is Orgasmic because there are no winds in the ASG< Good God Take a couple of Midols it your time of the month
Maybe with you it would take the entire bottle
Posted by Evilpens on 01/21/09 at 11:34 AM ET
Looks like someone let the puppies out of the Jackatorium again. Quick kick it.
Though it is a disgrace that no Wings are in the ASG, I find this a positive thing. Let the boys rest up and take care of their “ailments”. Besides, with the exception of last nights game (not including the Swede with the C) and our goal tending, we see an All Star Game every time we watch our beloved Red Wings.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 01/21/09 at 12:46 PM ET
I try not to be one to really beat up the Detroit media, but yeah this was a major oversight, especially considering I was reading about Robidas being added three days ago. Even if the Wings kept it quiet, the addition of Robidas should have gotten their radars going.
Posted by Matt Saler from Grand Rapids, MI on 01/21/09 at 12:48 PM ET
Also, I sent Khan an email yesterday asking “Is there any indication that an invitation to be an injury replacement in the All Star Game was extended to Brian Rafalski? I see that Stephane Robidas has accepted such an invitation, and my hope is Rafalski was offered one, but turned it down.”
In response, he said “I haven’t heard anything about this” before going on to speculate that Rafalski had been invited but turned it down, maybe for family reasons.
I don’t know the dynamics in the lockerroom between the players and the media, but how could he not have heard anything? I guess some slack should be cut for being on the road, but still. Not the media’s finest moment.
Posted by Matt Saler from Grand Rapids, MI on 01/21/09 at 12:54 PM ET
Over/Under on how many times the announcers mention that Babcock is the Wings’ representative at the ASG as the assistant coach? I’m giving it five and still taking the over.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/21/09 at 01:07 PM ET
Only mention Uncle Mike will get is #1) for being Todd’s assistant at this game and the role reversal for the dog n pony show game and #2) if he pulls on the pimpin lid
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/21/09 at 01:17 PM ET
Gary Bettman has been a godsend for the Red Wings. Under his reign of horrible mismanagement, the Wings have had unparalleled success.
One of my buddies asked me one day “How did the Wings pull of having Hossa, Datsyuk and Zetterberg on the same team for even ONE year?”
My response- “Because Ken Holland is smarter than Gary Bettman.”
I think it’s actually quite funny how Mule, Hoss, Z, and Raf would all turn down the offer to play in ASG. This shows just how team oriented the Winged Wheel is, snubbing the dog and pony show in order to re-focus on the REAL prize. Oh, and we need some fresh milk for that “we just gave up 12 goals in two games” hangover. Perhaps Lidstrom’s mom could nurse the entire team, there has to be something magic in those.
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 01/21/09 at 01:31 PM ET
I don’t get it.
So 2 Red Wings were selected. One is hurt, the other may be faking an injury so he doesn’t have to go. Then two other wings may have been proposed an invitation, but supposedly declined to go. And your conclusion is that Bettman doesn’t want to see the wings in the ASG? Maybe I’m completely stupid, but that doesn’t make any sense. The wings are the most successful franchise of the last decade, and have one of the biggest fanbase in the US. Why exactly would the NHL try to keep them away from the ASG?
Posted by Greg on 01/21/09 at 01:32 PM ET
I really thought the team quit last night and I haven’t felt that way in a long time.
Agree. I felt that way this whole road trip. That’s what is disappointing and scary, not the actual wins/losses. The team has too much talent not to make the playoffs with a decent seed—they just need to get the work ethic, passion, and attention to detail back post-all-star break if they don’t want to get bounced in round one. And I think they will. But it will be a short leash—if they don’t start to look like the real Detroit Red Wings (tenacious, detailed, clinical) by game 60 or 65, we must pile on the stress train with massive amounts of cheap, warm beer. And probably some qualudes, too.
Babcock will be there representing the Wings. Hopefully he can chat with Todd McLellan and get some defensive pointers for the team. The absence of McLellan is the only thing different about the Wings D this year. Coincidence?
McLellan was the offensive coach. Currently, he has a team in San Jose with about the same talent as Detroit. The one thing they have that Detroit does not have right now is HUNGER. Kudos to McLellan, he should be coach of the year, but let’s be fair—he walked into what was probably the easiest situation for any coach in the league, including Babcock, who started the year with the headache of having to knock his players out of the hangover.
It’s time for Babs to do it. He’s tried a lot of things, some have worked for small stretches of five or so games, but nothing is stuck. I guess I don’t even really expect him to do anything about it—I think it comes down on the players’ shoulders. They have to evaluate how they’ve played thus far during their week vacation, and come back Tuesday with a new outlook, and new energy, and a renewed desire to be the best again. They have not had that at all this year—save for maybe those back-to-backs against Chicago.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 01/21/09 at 01:34 PM ET
Why exactly would the NHL try to keep them away from the ASG?
No idea. Why don’t you start by answering a few of the other questions, maybe you’ll find your epiphany. Why aren’t the Wings in the Eastern Conference? Why does the pathetic NHL marketing arm choose to ignore the most successful franchise the league has known since the 80’s Oilers? Check out the promos on Versus, the sicko who locks himself in his self-pleasure palace (the Jackatoreum) in the Center Ice ads, the video game covers.
Plenty of Crosby all over the place. How about Datsyuk? How about Zetterberg? How about Lidstrom? All three are better players no matter the criteria you use.
Oh, and how about this. You think Lidstrom’s going to win the Norris again? His stats will say he’ll deserve it. He’s showing all the signs of a great second half. But who do you think will win it? Webber? Phaneuf? Hell, Niedermayer may even get it again.
No chance it’s Nick though. And he’ll deserve it…again.
How many owners opposed the salary cap? Take a guess. I’d say less than five. Guaranteed on who one of those owners was Greg? Mike Ilitch. Since then, well before actually but we’ll use the lockout as a reference, Bettman has laid the wood to the Wings every chance he got.
Wrigley did a great job with the Classic. Michigan Stadium would have held 65 thousand more.
Gary Bettman’s bent over the teams, the fans and the players. That’s a lot of violating. But if there’s been one target throughout, it’s been Detroit. Fortunately for us we can sit back and laugh, look up and count the banners.
Fans in Nashville? Not so lucky. Viewers who don’t get the NHL network? Not so lucky. Those who can’t afford Center Ice and are stuck with the piss-pot that is Versus? Definitely not so lucky. Hockey purists who marvel at the very thought of a 5-3 in overtime or an instigator penalty or continuous hits to the head without league action? Screwed.
Kinda long-winded Greg. Hope I didn’t lose you.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/21/09 at 01:54 PM ET
Jackatoreum
Jackatoreum
Jackatoreum
Posted by christpuncher from Detroit, MI on 01/21/09 at 01:59 PM ET
So much for the standard 2 day hiatus after a loss.
The Chief starts a new post and then pulls the trigger on both barrels simultaneously.
Maybe I’m completely stupid,
Or kinda new around here. Either way, you said it.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/21/09 at 02:12 PM ET
Detroit used to be “the motor city” until their cars became the worst in the world. Now they call it “hockey town” but can’t sell out a playoff game. What a bunch of whiny fans-the players chose not to go because they are either hurt/too old.Quit your whining-this may be the future “Las Vegas Gamblers”
Posted by Cheli from Detroit on 01/21/09 at 02:15 PM ET
So much for the standard 2 day hiatus after a loss.
And I haven’t even gotten around to Lemieux yet Mo. Gathering steam for that one.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 01/21/09 at 02:18 PM ET
Detroit used to be “the motor city” until their cars became the worst in the world. Now they call it “hockey town” but can’t sell out a playoff game. What a bunch of whiny fans-the players chose not to go because they are either hurt/too old.Quit your whining-this may be the future “Las Vegas Gamblers”
Oops another puppy out of the Jackatorium. Quick, kick it.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 01/21/09 at 02:21 PM ET
Oops another puppy out of the Jackatorium. Quick, kick it.
Whine, whine, whine. Check out the way the Detroit fans are getting ripped by hockey fans on blogs which have reported this.
It’s a conspiracy!
Posted by Cheli from Detroit on 01/21/09 at 02:25 PM ET
And I haven’t even gotten around to Lemieux yet Mo. Gathering steam for that one.
What REALLY pisses me off about that one, Chief, is that Todd couldn’t have shown one iota of loyalty to the Wings and called him up before our game on Saturday. At least give us a chance to dress McCarty for it.
No loyalty, Todd has jumped the shark, and is now dead to me.
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 01/21/09 at 02:25 PM ET
Good, this allows me to do what I want this weekend. ASG is the biggest joke going, in every sport. Hold a gala before the season where the players all meet up and sign autographs and what not for some big fan fest or a season kickoff, probably the best way to sell the game. ASG will be on a network that nobody gets on a day where nothing sports wise is going on. Gary can’t even get the game on national TV. Good job. Ass.
Point being, come January a re-focused and energized Red Wings team will embark on the last 35+ games of the regular season and begin their final tune-up for the playoffs. The best is yet to come.
Posted by Jeremy from Bowling Green, OH on 01/21/09 at 02:26 PM ET
Detroit used to be “the motor city” until their cars became the worst in the world. Now they call it “hockey town” but can’t sell out a playoff game. What a bunch of whiny fans-the players chose not to go because they are either hurt/too old.Quit your whining-this may be the future “Las Vegas Gamblers”
Oops another puppy out of the Jackatorium. Quick, kick it.
Drop kick it and drown it. You’re a chump, Cheli and a good part of the reason the US economy is so bad. Buy American and buy Detroit gear, because we ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 01/21/09 at 02:27 PM ET
Whine, whine, whine. Check out the way the Detroit fans are getting ripped by hockey fans on blogs which have reported this.
It’s a conspiracy!
If the likes of Selanne, Shanahan, Sundin and Niedermayer can wait until January to decide they want to play, then I’m sure it’s well within logic that the defending Stanley Cup Champions can choose to opt out of the ASG, injuries or not. Other fans can bitch all they want to, who really flippin’ cares about some ridiculous exhibition game?
Posted by Jeremy from Bowling Green, OH on 01/21/09 at 02:30 PM ET
Whine, whine, whine. Check out the way the Detroit fans are getting ripped by hockey fans on blogs which have reported this.
We’ve already established that the Wings are a team you either love or hate; why would reactions to the fans of the Wings be any different? Oh no? People don’t like me because I’m a Red Wings fan? Somehow, I’ll find a way to survive.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/21/09 at 02:32 PM ET
I kind of enjoy this thought:
Babcock is sitting in his office, wearing his pimp hat and smoking a cigar.
*There’s a knock on the door*
Babcock: Come in, boys.
*Dats, Lidstrom, Ralfalski and Hoss enter*
Babcock: Well, here we are. Pavel and Nick, you were supposed to go to the All-Star Game. However, Pav, you’re hurt so you’re out. Nick you’re supposed to go but I’m calling in sick for you. That leaves Ralfi and Hossa. What do you boys think?
*Rafalski and Hossa look at each other but don’t say anything*
Babcock: Good, you’re both out. You know why? Because *#$%@& Gary, that’s why.
*SCENE*
Posted by clemshady from Greenwood, SC on 01/21/09 at 02:35 PM ET
*SCENE*
We should make that into a movie and build our very own Jackatorium to watch it.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 01/21/09 at 02:43 PM ET
How come Gabe’s win hasn’t been updated on the starboard?
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 01/21/09 at 02:52 PM ET
Check out the way the Detroit fans are getting ripped by hockey fans on blogs which have reported this.
Oh my, Chief I think you’re going to have to shut A2Y down now.
Us getting ripped is fine. The only fans that matter here are Wings fans. Did you not notice the name of the site your posting on? See the banner? Your profound wisdom is missing on your other hockey blogs, go bless them with your wisdom and insight. Or simply….finish running your yap and go back to whatever spooge laden Jackatorium ever you have in the basement.
What REALLY pisses me off about that one, Chief, is that Todd couldn’t have shown one iota of loyalty to the Wings and called him up before our game on Saturday. At least give us a chance to dress McCarty for it.
Todd turtled the Turtle.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 01/21/09 at 02:54 PM ET
“Las Vegas Gamblers”
Posted by Cheli from Detroit on 01/21/09 at 02:15 PM ET
No such team out here in Las Vegas, NV, dumbass. And before you go off going, “Aww…did a wibble Wings’ fans get his feewing hurty?” We’ve heard it all before. So come up with some g-ddamn new material. You ain’t being original.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 01/21/09 at 02:55 PM ET
Gabe, either you didn’t drink last night or you are having a moment of clarity?
Nyquil, I’m going with Nyquil.
Hey relax, the team has the week off. That means the 19 have the week off! February’s coming time to get ready…..
-paint the Hasek,
-say howdy to those other folks living in your house.
-fire up the still,
-pour out those half empty glasses and render them half full,
-help Ozzie search for his mojo,
-stock up on pets,
-polish your V (no you won’t go blind, but, we will know)
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, sippin rum & catchin some rays on 01/21/09 at 02:59 PM ET
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Can’t say I’m disappointed. With all the stupid fans cheating with votes, it’s a farce anyway.
Posted by halomasterd4n on 01/21/09 at 09:50 AM ET