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Abel to Yzerman

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Looking Back At An A2Y Hero

Since A2Y was founded in 1977, we’ve posted 919,000 times.  Many of those posts were brilliant.  A large majority of them were juvenile inside jokes understood by only the 19 readers of this blog.

In honor of tonite, the 3rd chapter of the Saga of a Sweep, I’d like to take you back to 19 July of 2007, a day that truly defined this blog.

From the A2Y Library.  19 July 2007.

It seems that I was born to write these two sentences:  a cross-dressing male prostitute was arrested yesterday in Denver.  According to various reports uncovered by Deadspin, Police described Darren Garcia as being 27, having long hair, significant amounts of makeup and wearing…

...a Colorado Avalanche jersey.

Thank you god.

In the interests of bringing you every bit of information on this breaking story we’re culling all sources and leaving no stone unturned.  First...the facts. 

Marilyn Robinson, in a story “special to the Rocky Mountain News”, reported the disturbing details late yesterday.

According to a police probable-cause statement, officers were running a sting Thursday night because of community complaints when an undercover officer stopped at East Colfax Avenue and Josephine Street. Garcia climbed into the officer’s car and offered to perform a sex act for $30, police said.

Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey, according to authorities.

Disturbing.  In Wambaugh-like fashion, Robinson gives us a point-by-point description of the sting, the chase, the take down and the startling background on young Mr. Garcia.  Vivid descriptions jump off the page.  AIDS, previous arrests, hastily applied cosmetics.  Shocking details.

Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…

According to the A2Y investigative team, tidbits of info are trickling in to our Denver office.  We have, we believe, enough to take you to the next level of this story.  It goes back more than a decade and the fact that our late breakers were able to string it all together in just a few hours is almost beyond comprehension.  The story of their investigation is almost as compelling as the tale itself.  And it started with one key phrase…

Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…

Thankfully, the Denver PD was quick to release Garcia’s lineup photo...because the moment this image hit the wire, A2Y staffers were scrambling into the archives. 

image

Through highly technical, advanced satellite imagery techniques, we were confronted with two very real possibilities.  (1) Mike Ricci had returned to Denver, or (b) someone else had come full circle and the piper required payment.

Who is that someone, you ask?

This someone.

image

I told you.  Disturbing.

We can now report with a high degree of certainty, in a story exclusively uncovered by the A2Y investigative team, that the infamous “Av Skank of ‘96” has resurfaced and is now described in this fashion.

Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…

That’s right, after an exhaustive 11-year search, she/he’s been located.  The “fan” parked behind the Detroit bench in 1996, object of Wing fan disdain the world over, the woman who we now realize is actually a man, has finally been taken into custody.  Inside sources at the Denver PD tell us her personal effects did not include the original sign she carried that Spring night in ‘96 or the crayons used to craft it.

Darren Garcia.  Denver resident.  27 and in jail today.

Garcia had long hair and makeup and was wearing an Avalanche jersey…

Disturbing.

-----

Postscript: I read that over this morning and the story damaged my soul once again.  How could such a seemingly normal young man’s life go so tragically wrong? At what point did a run-of-the-mill transvestite decide it was socially acceptable to wear that jersey? 

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

     

w2j2's avatar

Yes, that was truly a defining edition of A2Y.
It touched the core of our fandom.
It is fitting to remember it today.

And not long after that, there was the ‘Dive fan biting the heads off happy little innocent swimming ducklings in Minneapolis…
smirk

Posted by w2j2 on 04/29/08 at 07:15 AM ET

Avatar

“At what point did a run-of-the-mill transvestite decide it was socially acceptable to wear that jersey?”

Just the line I needed to get me in the right mindset for tonight’s game.  Sadly, being in DC this week, I think they might make me do some work today.  Bastards. 

Which gave me this thought…

Any suggestions from the 19 on ways to inform my boss that...given we’re 2 games away from sending the Avs home to Kansas/West for good...I really shouldn’t have to do anything work-ish today?

Posted by disch from Washington, D.C. on 04/29/08 at 07:45 AM ET

w2j2's avatar

disch:

It would be a shame if you started coming down with the flu today and then had to call in tomorrow…

cool smirk

Posted by w2j2 on 04/29/08 at 07:56 AM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Disch - Just tell your boss that you came down with a screaming case of “JoeTeditis.”

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 04/29/08 at 07:58 AM ET

Tuba Guy's avatar

Off Topic:

Why hasn’t Bruce MacLeod posted anything since Friday?

Posted by Tuba Guy from Royal Oak, MI on 04/29/08 at 08:46 AM ET

TeamDub's avatar

Maybe because his cheap-ass employer won’t fund away game coverage?

Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 04/29/08 at 08:49 AM ET

Hap's avatar

Usually though McLeod will post his game thoughts.  If the anti-digger isn’t around, where are we going to get our real Wings news?

Posted by Hap from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/29/08 at 09:37 AM ET

Avatar

The comments below Deadspins article are great!

Imagine the guy in Denver reading this and saying to himself, “Wait, wasn’t that hooker I picked up yesterday wearing an Av’s jersey?”

The air conditioning unit just failed in my office.  Can’t work in the heat.  May have to go off-site for the day.

Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 04/29/08 at 10:35 AM ET

mudshark's avatar

If the anti-digger isn’t around, where are we going to get our real Wings news?

From George.  http://blog.mlive.com/snapshots/

Though, to be honest, it seems like there’s just not the level of hype surrounding this Wings-Dive series as in years past.  Chalk it up to the blood sport and Sean Avery in the East, the Nuggets getting swept, the Tigers’ pitching saga, the Pistons’ Philly saga, and the NFL draft.  You could probably throw LPGA golf in there, too.

Sad but true, IMHO.

go wings

Posted by mudshark from Divetown, Colorado on 04/29/08 at 10:36 AM ET

mudshark's avatar

Check that- “MEDIA hype.” Obviously Shane is hyped to the max, and the Stress Train is a-rockin’…

Posted by mudshark from Divetown, Colorado on 04/29/08 at 10:37 AM ET

Avatar

We Shall Destroy all the Avalixos!

Posted by Drake on 04/29/08 at 12:02 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

Tuba Guy:  Good news, “The Highlander” is in Denver, and just posted a report from Av’s practice on his blog!  Apparently his chaep-ass fish-wrap ponied some money for him to visit “the Can”!

FYI (and shameless promotion):  Bruce’s posts and more at The Forum!!

Optional practice for the Av’s, Neither Floppa nor Hannon on the ice.

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 04/29/08 at 12:03 PM ET

Avatar

Smyth is out, Forsberg “probable”, via the Anti-Digger.

Posted by Jeremy on 04/29/08 at 12:20 PM ET

Hap's avatar

Wow, no Ryan Smyth tonight.  Almost feel bad for them with all of their injuries.  Almost, anyway…

Posted by Hap from Grand Rapids, MI on 04/29/08 at 12:20 PM ET

mudshark's avatar

No Ryan Smyth tonight- methinks the Hockey Gods have finally seen fit to smile on Our Beloved Wings this year… At least until we get Dallas in the next round (gulp)…

Even if Floppa plays, that still leaves the Dive with one good scoring line and not much else…

Posted by mudshark from Divetown, Colorado on 04/29/08 at 12:21 PM ET

Jeff  OKWingnut's avatar

I really get the feeling that the Av’s will be a ball of tension tonite.  IF the Wings can pot the first goal, or two (even better), we may well see an implosion of epic proportions (like even better than Saturdays) big surprise

Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 04/29/08 at 12:30 PM ET

     

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome:

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