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by IwoCPO on 03/02/08 at 08:24 AM ET
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Ahh, March.  Good old March.  Largely ignored by calendar experts such as Simon and Garfunkel, who begin their ode to Spring with April.  Glorified by Shakespeare but with a stern warning that won’t come for two more weeks.  And, of course, the weather adage that it arrives….oh god no.

Like a Lion?  Please…no. 

As you can see, the Stress Train is no longer sitting dormant at the station, waiting for April.  No, the black smoke is belching.  19 seats, all full.  All occupied by regular travelers.  They claimed their seats early and they’ve established a three month’s residence.  It’s a restless group.  Look at the image and it appears serene, a glorious scene set against the rising sun.  But what the innocent don’t see is the turbulence inside. 

What the uninitiated don’t understand is that inside the Stress Train, negativity is the norm.  The Stress Train is no place for optimists.  It’s the place to which we’ve been banished by our families who can’t stand the pacing, the tantrums, the drunken mumbling.  Interventions have been staged.  Friends have gathered, surrounded us and presented us boarding passes as last resorts.  Reality show contracts have been signed.  Crews are in place. 

It’s an early departure this season.  In fact, the earliest trip the Train has taken since 1989.  That’s how long it’s been since the Wings have played this poorly, for this long.  Re-phrase: that’s the last time the Wings have lost this consistently. 

The Train’s been ready for departure for nearly a month, but it hadn’t left the station.  Just sitting there, cocky, sneering at us.  Laughing, knowing that come April 7th the journey would begin.  But the Stress Train is always ready, always prepared, always stocked.  You don’t catch the Train unaware.  And Friday?  The second that puck hit that netting, the crew manned their stations. As Mickey Redmond was doing his Cape Fear Robert De Niro speaking in tongues impression, the doors were opening.  When Franzen refused to shoot from the slot with seven seconds left…the engines were in full roar.

And now?  The Train is full.  We are aboard, as directed.  There is no destination for the Stress Train.  None is required.  March was supposed to be a time of positive anticipation, a thirty day grace period for us to prepare our loved ones for the trip ahead.  But unlike past years, March has its own plans, just like bastard February did before it. 

April? Come she will, but only after the Train’s been chugging for a full thirty days. 

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About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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