Abel to Yzerman
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Oompa Loompa Who Did You Do?
by IwoCPO on 09/08/09 at 04:19 PM ET
Comments (46)
Happy, happy, happy.
Atta boy. What have I told you guys from the beginning? Rainbows, frolicking puppies, firetrucks...and?
Hookers.
Stand by.
Blesk.cz
Jaké bylo jeho netradiční sexuální přání? „Řekl nám, že chce, abychom mu obě lízaly záda,“ odtajňuje erotické fantazie reprezentačního hokejisty Žaneta. „Trochu nás tím zaskočil, ale jeho přání jsme mu splnily. Jenže tím Jirkovi speciální požadavky zdaleka neskončily,“ říká.
Confused? Of course you are. Translation? Yep.
“Finally, George might relax too much. We have seen the various needs of our clients, but Hudler us immediately by its first really surprised,” says Denise, the second of the girls that you paid a prurient Hudler took the room.
What was his unusual sexual desires? “He told us he wants us both licking his back,” erotic fantasy declassified national team hockey player inflammation. “A little surprised by us, but we gave him his wish fulfilled.”
What did you say? 4 days without a post and this is all you’ve got?
Uh huh. And?
What do you want? This or Fenwick numbers?
I thought so.
Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
Comments
Gotta admit, kinda sad this article involved no mention of any clucking noises.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/08/09 at 04:32 PM ET
Oh my God.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 09/08/09 at 04:31 PM ET
Clearly, my shining moment as a “professional blogger.”
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 09/08/09 at 04:35 PM ET
I thought his fantasies had something to do with chocolates
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/08/09 at 04:41 PM ET
Obviously this Oompa Loompa worked too much in the lollipop room.
Wait… what?
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 09/08/09 at 04:45 PM ET
erotic fantasy declassified national team hockey player inflammation
Is this supposed to be…
A.) Something similar to “expletive deleted” in the Nixon tapes?
B.) A euphemism for a kinky sex act?
C.) A medical diagnosis?
D.) All of the above?
Posted by YzermanZetterberg on 09/08/09 at 04:52 PM ET
That’s just plain creepy....
The only thing I know about anything Fenwick, is a brand of fishing gear.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/08/09 at 04:58 PM ET
That must be great stuff, because he scored a hat trick to lead the Czechs over the Russians in a tournament:
http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=290221
Maybe Mike Ilitch should bring those girls over for the Wings ... How much better would Wally play if 2 girls were licking his back?
Posted by w2j2 on 09/08/09 at 05:01 PM ET
Don’t look now, but there’s a Tater Tot playing well in Traverse City:
http://www.redwingscentral.com/stories/2009_09/08_Tatar.php
Posted by w2j2 on 09/08/09 at 05:04 PM ET
Anybody think the translation isn’t quite correct? I’m wondering if it was really his back they were licking? Ah well, to each his chown.
Kind of sad that he has to pay for it though. But I guess that’s what he needed the big money for.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 09/08/09 at 05:07 PM ET
Holy Moly!
Well, that’s not something you read on hockey blogs everyday.
It did break up the monotony of the off-season though. Not bad at all.
Posted by AvsRock from My timeshare in insanity... on 09/08/09 at 05:26 PM ET
Kind of sad that he has to pay for it though. But I guess that’s what he needed the big money for.
OH NO SHE DIDN’T
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 09/08/09 at 05:50 PM ET
But were they ‘elite’ hookers?
Posted by dash_pinched from Rumor Mill Bay on 09/08/09 at 05:56 PM ET
This > Fenwick Numbers
Posted by Nathan from Jonny Ericsson's ice cream truck on 09/08/09 at 05:58 PM ET
Atta boy. What have I told you guys from the beginning? Rainbows, frolicking puppies, firetrucks...and?
Hookers.
Well Chief, you certainly delivered on this one. That’s a snap and 2 bitches. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 09/08/09 at 06:05 PM ET
I will read a post like this fifteen times a day if I never have to read “Fenwick numbers” or “Corsi numbers” again.
Of course, I’d read that anyway, because it’s hilarious. Well done.
Posted by TPL Michael on 09/08/09 at 06:09 PM ET
“but we gave him his wish fulfilled”. Friggin’ hilarious. That boy will NEVER be back in the NHL. Euro forever. I may go over there for a game or two. I have waited a long, long, long time for my “wish fulfilled”. Chief, you are the GREAT ONE. Don’t know how you do it, just happy (sic) that you do. Makes my week.
Posted by gunnar from Ada MI on 09/08/09 at 06:37 PM ET
I take it this is related to that picture Kyle posted on Twitter today…
Posted by Matt Saler from Grand Rapids, MI on 09/08/09 at 06:47 PM ET
Wow. Too much information!! (and that deserves some exclamation points)
Posted by cmk from the top part of MI on 09/08/09 at 06:52 PM ET
Thanks a ton Chief, that’s an image I really needed bouncing around in my head.
Posted by Hippy Dave from San Francisco by way of Detroit on 09/08/09 at 06:53 PM ET
Is there any place for a washed up college club hockey player in Russia? I now have a goal in life…
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 09/08/09 at 07:01 PM ET
that’s an image I really needed bouncing around in my head.
Nice choice of words.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 09/08/09 at 07:06 PM ET
Huh?
Posted by LOLWUT on 09/08/09 at 07:22 PM ET
This sums it up pretty well.
http://fourhabsfans.blogspot.com/2009/09/ten-things-i-hate-about-pittsburgh.html
Posted by Digger from Rochester on 09/08/09 at 07:23 PM ET
his sums it up pretty well.
http://fourhabsfans.blogspot.com/2009/09/ten-things-i-hate-about-pittsburgh.htmlPosted by Digger from Rochester on 09/08/09 at 07:23 PM ET
They seem to have control of their troll problem over their. The Rosby hate is unanswered (not that saying Datsuck blows my c*ck penz 4 life 1!!!1! is an answer).
Anyone else here wonder if Huds wrapped it up? Or if he’s sowing his seeds to make an Oompa Army and send the reinforcements to my house, wearing lil white overalls and doing all the chores in my house? Or is that just me…
Either way, I’d love to be a fly on the wall in that room. Just not on THAT part of the wall. You know, the part of the wall that got tagged with...well you know!
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/08/09 at 08:33 PM ET
Or maybe all of this explains why he’s always so damn happy? lol.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 09/08/09 at 08:50 PM ET
Most guys only dream of having people on call to kiss his ass; Hudler is living the dream, baby.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/08/09 at 09:34 PM ET
Most guys only dream of having people on call to kiss his ass; Hudler is living the dream, baby.
Idk, I have $20 in my wallet, I’m sure I could make a call and have someone literally kissing my ass too.
They might not be quite as good looking as Hudler’s hookers, but hey, a tongue is a tongue, right?
But seriously, could someone who speaks Czech please tell me, was Hudler having his back licked? Or was it a bad translation and they were actually licking his back(side)?
Posted by Kstewy16 on 09/08/09 at 09:55 PM ET
might not be quite as good looking as Hudler’s hookers
Sounds like a pretty good business.
Hudler’s Hookers.
Coming soon.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/08/09 at 10:18 PM ET
Pageing RW. Have you got the movie in your basement archive yet? 
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 09/08/09 at 11:01 PM ET
Aw, geez, “George,” say it ain’t so.
Sigh. I doubt this will play well with Mr. & Mrs. I. So if Happy wants to play for the Wings again, he’d better be squeaky-clean for the next two years...and not by being licked clean.
Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 09/08/09 at 11:40 PM ET
Kind of sad that he has to pay for it though. But I guess that’s what he needed the big money for.
I hear (from Charlie Sheen) that when you’re rich and famous you don’t pay them to come, you pay them to leave.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 09/09/09 at 12:28 AM ET
All that rigamarole, yet no mention of tickling goat bellies, Roquefort cheese, hot-fudge sauce, and reinforced leather trusses? Ah well, I guess some people are just weird.
“I’m not wearing any pants...Film at eleven.”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/09/09 at 01:06 AM ET
Evening folks. Been unable to keep up with posts and comments lately, been having a really shitty couple of weeks (robbed at gunpoint, wife got her purse stolen with both of our wallets and keys inside) ((two separate incidents by the way)) but I figured I would just come in and say hello. As to my thoughts on this post, ehh, who really cares. As long as he stops playing scared and performs in the playoffs if he ever comes back, I could care less who licks what on him.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 09/09/09 at 03:05 AM ET
Must say, I’m astounded at the level of self-restraint shown by The 19 so far. Nobody’s made the obvious comment about Hudler learning to ‘back check’ in Russia…
God, I hope he shaved beforehand. Czech men can be REALLY hairy...*shudder*
been having a really shitty couple of weeks
Well, that sucks. Sorry to hear it. Hope you didn’t lose anything irreplaceable.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/09/09 at 03:40 AM ET
Well, that sucks. Sorry to hear it. Hope you didn’t lose anything irreplaceable.
Technically no, but it just really feels like the universe is kicking me in the balls repeatedly and it’s starting to get really annoying. Paying $800 to get new keys for my car definitely isn’t rad either, not to mention my digital camera that I got in Japan was in her purse as well. Not that I can’t get another one, but it had sentimental value because I got it there before it was out here, etc. Oh well, it’s just stuff I guess.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 09/09/09 at 04:25 AM ET
Stayouttamalibu, you can come stay with me in West Baltimore. Must be safer than Tempe, AZ.
I’m sorry to hear about that, though. It’s never the physical value lost that gets you.
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 09/09/09 at 06:16 AM ET
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Tempe, AZ on 09/09/09 at 03:05 AM ET
.
And what’s our Glorious Sheriff gonna do about that? I bet he goes straight Charles Bronson from Death Wish on those MFers.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/09/09 at 09:10 AM ET
In Soviet Russia, back licks you!
Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 09/09/09 at 09:59 AM ET
The little bounder! Why with a resume enhancer like that.......I got two words for you.......
Mayor of Detroit.
The campaign begins.
Posted by Rumbear from Sandy Eggo on 09/10/09 at 09:54 AM ET
In Soviet Russia, back licks you!
Posted by FranzensMouthguard on 09/09/09 at 09:59 AM ET
“She’ll go three hundred hectares on a single tank of kerosene.”
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 09/10/09 at 07:58 PM ET
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Oh my God.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 09/08/09 at 04:31 PM ET