LOGIN | REGISTER | RSS FEEDS

Abel to Yzerman

Poultry Fans: They’re Not Just Earl Anymore.  There Are Like Five More.

by IwoCPO on 04/28/09 at 09:19 AM ET
Comments (0)

Good morning.  I’ve done you yet another favor, because I care.  The Starboard Side has been updated.  Gone are the BJs.  Bye. Thank you.  In their place? The Poultry blogs and media sources, a limited amount to be sure.

Some of you may view that section and think it skimpy.  I understand.

But when we present you with links and options, they are directly reflective of the amount of interest in that respective team…as determined by our highly scientific A2Y hockey fan census, conducted by interns from Delta College.

So when the interns hit SoCal and began asking around about hockey, the Ducks, Chris Pronger’s speech patterns that resemble Chewbacca’s slowed down by sixty percent?  Well, there wasn’t exactly a communal flash of recognition.  Hence the limited number of links. 

But what we have for you is plenty enough to keep you occupied.  We begin with our pal Earl Sleek at Battle of California.  Now, be careful.  BoC, as you know, is not just Poultry 24/7.  Oh no.  There’s a Shark presence there in the form of one Mike Chen.  So, you may have to wade through some shocked sadness before you get to Sleek’s prose. Apparently, and my research skills are weak so have patience with me, San Jose’s season is over, even though they’re “the best team in the league.”  Ahhh, well. 

And he’s a pretty consistent visitor here, as well.  He should be. We devoted an entire post to him back in 2007.  Well, the post title anyway.  So, bottom line: Earl’s cool and he can visit. But when the stress level rises and he starts running his yap? Gloves are off bitches.  Man. That sounded tough.

Hey. Remember a kid named Adam Brady?  He works for the Poultry and back in January we decided to take the social high road.  Thought about responding to a blog post he’d written, which featured him literally sobbing while he typed it sitting in a one-piece jammy with footies and a picture of Teemu Selanne and Paul Kariya polka dancing on the back.  Anyways, we thought about talking about that startling image but didn’t want to risk legal action so we just let it alone and called him a whining little bitch instead.

Here’s the post.  He’s on the right-hand side and I sense entertainment on the horizon.  He cries a little, as we already stated.

Dan Wood covers the Poultry for the Orange County Register.  We linked to him two years ago and I don’t recall if he proved worthy or not.  I’m sure, based on where he lives and who he’s forced to follow, that his character should be called into question.  But considering the quality of our own Deep Diggers?  I’ll hold off for now. 

Added a few other blogs that I blatantly ripped off from BoC.  Girl with a Puck and Anaheim Calling.  I’ve read the former and completely ignored the latter.  I would analyze each but I’m so damn excited about what’s up next that I can barely type.

Or could it be that I can’t string a sentence together because I’m so frigging stupid that even something as simple as a three or four word subject/verb/direct object project is too much for me? Could that be it?  Fu** no.  But, I know somebody who that may apply to?

Who(m), you ask?  Why thank you. 

How about some Chris Pronger for your literary enlightenment bitches?

Check this frigging prose out.

Blogging with Sasquatch

In my opinion i believe the rumors are part of an overzealous group of reporters who are putting the Ducks in the “sellers” category at the trade deadline and trying to drum up fan interest in there stories and TV shows. They put us, the Ducks, in this category because we have not played up to expectations thus far. With 25 games to go and around 10 left before the deadline we hope to put these rumors to rest with the we play the rest of the season and on into the playoffs.

And then?  There’s this.  Brought up recently by one of the 19 and given to you as a present today.  Now.  Get yourself in the right frame of mind.  You have to read it and when you get to the “YES” part, say it with Sasquatch and imagine him typing with his thumbs, staring intently at the screen while shifting his weight from one foot to the other because in the middle of his blog post he realized he’d forgotten to go to the bathroom again.  Ready?

Cool.

“Y’all”?  Really?

Sasquatch’s blog hasn’t been updated since 13 February, but we’ll check it every day just in case he felt the need to put his soul out there for you to read. Apparently, and I can’t confirm this is him, he Tweets a bit though.

In the meantime, if you guys have suggestions let me know and we’ll add to the Round 2: Poultry section.  Oh, and in the meantime…send in those photoshops and I’ll put them up as I get them.  I believe this from Cwix is a simple, yet appropriate, way to begin.

Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
 

Comments

Be the first to comment.

Add a Comment

Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.

Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.

Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.

Most Recent Blog Posts

About Abel to Yzerman

Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Get the top online sports betting bonuses available to sports betters!