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Ready, Set, Vomit: Rafalski’s Got A Back Thing Going On
by IwoCPO on 12/02/09 at 01:58 PM ET
Comments (49)
Awww. Cute. Go ahead. The tile on the bathroom floor is cool against your skin and you haven’t puked yet, so the smell isn’t crawling up your nostrils. But it’s gonna. Oh…yes, it will. The dry heaves have started, of course, and those are fun. But the actual fluid ejection hasn’t begun and you’re really looking forward to that. All I’m going to do is give you a little momentum. I’m just gonna siphon it a little and then gravity will just kind of take over. Ready?
Brian Rafalski left today’s practice early after experiencing tightness in his back, and may have to miss Thursday’s game against Edmonton. If Rafalski can’t go, coach Mike Babcock said the Wings will call up Jakub Kindl from Grand Rapids. Kindl would be in the lineup, as the Wings already have defenseman Niklas Kronwall dealing with a knee injury and are completely out of healthy defensemen.
Awesome. If you’re harboring any hope that Rafalski’s actually gonna play? You deserve an open-handed slap to the face, then a backhand for good measure.
So, your blue line for tomorrow?
Lidstrom-Ericsson
Stuart-Lebda
Meech-Kindl
Three studs and the three leftover chicks they picked up when the lights came on at 0200 in the biker bar just off Big Beaver road, exit 69 to you and me.
If you head back to St. James’ story you’ll see that Rafalski’s downplaying it…
“Rafalski said his back “is just a little tight today. We’ll see how it feels tomorrow. I skated for about 10 minutes and it just felt tight.”
But the gross part is that we’re talking about a back here and those just don’t go away with two days’ worth of rest. Oh, and you probably already read that Eaves is most likely out too.
And November, that whore, threatens to continue.
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Comments
Could somebody please tell the hockey gods it’s already December? It’s been two motherfauxing months of the season, and each one of those had some fetal moment. Now December too. Why, just WHY?
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/02/09 at 02:07 PM ET
Three studs and the three leftover chicks they picked up when the lights came on at 0200 in the biker bar just off Big Beaver road, exit 69 to you and me.
Wow.
Why Kindl? Sure he could use some time playing in the NHL, but not when the Wings are bleeding like they are (damn you Hitchcock you fat sunuvabitch). Janik looked solid when he was last called up, better than Lebda.
Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 12/02/09 at 02:07 PM ET
After some thinking, I think (?) the Wings have comitted the Cardinal Sins. But who did what? Lazyness and gluttony may be Tuzzi’s, pride is for the board not admitting the McCrimmon problem, vanity is Filppula… the rest?
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/02/09 at 02:10 PM ET
I’m suddenly reminded of that video of Vince Lombardi walking the sidelines and screaming “What the hell is going on around here?!?!”. All of these injuries are getting ridiculous.
Posted by Chris in Hockey Hell from COLUMBIA, TENNESSEE on 12/02/09 at 02:11 PM ET
Khan(!) has the practice lines - - Unabomber and eVille switched up:
Leino-Datsyuk-Holmstrom
Bertuzzi-Zetterberg-Cleary
Draper-Helm-Miller
May-Abdelkader-Maltby
Lidstrom-Ericsson
Stuart-Lebda
Meech-Lilja (out)
It just keeps getting better and better - - just when you are praying the team has actually turned the corner.
Damn Lilja’s headaches - - he needs an exorcism.
Hell the whole damn team needs to get the bad injury mojo exorcised.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 12/02/09 at 02:11 PM ET
The gales of November came early and those bitches are overstaying their unwelcome.
Fuch indeed.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 12/02/09 at 02:13 PM ET
I’m too numb to vomit.
I was just finishing lunch when I read this. Ugh. Burger King tastes much better going down than it does coming back the other way.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 12/02/09 at 02:14 PM ET
the rest?
Well, the way the 19 were offering up their girlfriends and wives (or wer just having them taken by force…) during second half of the season and the playoffs last year, I’m guessing lust has to go to Jonny E.
Posted by Garth on 12/02/09 at 02:15 PM ET
i’m actually pretty excited to see Kindl. from all accounts (Nill specifically), he has taken all of the necessary steps forward this year and is playing fantastic hockey… like one of the best d-men in the AHL. don’t forget, this is a future stud himself, not a future lebda. Kindl/Ericsson might be our top two for many years down the line. bring it.
although this is all based on the fact that it doesn’t sound like the injury is too serious, so whatever.
Posted by perfection from LaLaLand on 12/02/09 at 02:17 PM ET
Garth, I would only loan my girlfriend to Helm. Of course, “loan” is the wrong word, since she would forget me the morning after.
And of course, anger seems to be ours…
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/02/09 at 02:18 PM ET
Call Murph!
Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 12/02/09 at 02:19 PM ET
Knocking a forechecker out with whiskey breath isn’t a penalty, is it?
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/02/09 at 02:21 PM ET
Call Murph!
Or Chelios.
If little douche Gary is intent on keeping the salary at when the current CBA expires, then might I suggest that they copy a clause out of the NBA CBA dealing with 10 day contracts. I would be so happy to see fauxing Chelios in a Winged Wheel faux sweater right about now.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/02/09 at 02:28 PM ET
salary cap not salary at
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/02/09 at 02:29 PM ET
In unrelated news, Uncle Mike said he’ll be at Boston watching Bruins-Lightning, the nhe’ll get home and watch Devils-Canucks. Does anyone else hate his part-time job with Canada?
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 12/02/09 at 02:31 PM ET
After wiping my mouth and cleaning the chunks out of my ‘stache and beard, I’ve concluded we have two (2) choices:
1.) sit the remainder of the “healthy” guys until the playoffs and bring up all of GR;
or,
2.)
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 12/02/09 at 02:35 PM ET
Sunuvabitch, I purposely ate a late lunch to make the afternoon short… and now my lunch is in the garbage can.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 12/02/09 at 02:41 PM ET
Criminy…
Damn hockey gods… I can just see the ghost of Rocket Richard sneaking into our players’ rooms at night and hacking at them with his stick. This has to turn around at some point…
Until then, bottoms up to the piss warm PBR. Might need to start bootin’ black tar heroin on top just to make the pain subside…
Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 12/02/09 at 02:57 PM ET
I say again… PASS THE MOTHERFAUXING TUSSIN.
Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 12/02/09 at 03:13 PM ET
Three studs and the three leftover chicks they picked up when the lights came on at 0200 in the biker bar just off Big Beaver road, exit 69 to you and me.
I’m proud to call that my exit. Nothing says home quite like 69. Welcome to the Trizzle.
And seriously, just when I thought things were turning around…this gets dropped on me. I’m going to go spend the rest of the afternoon curled up in the fetal position under my bed, thanks.
Posted by Kris from MI on 12/02/09 at 03:14 PM ET
Does anyone else hate his part-time job with Canada?
Posted by Guilherme
Yes G, I do. That’s a whole day he could have spent working on the Wings’ woeful on the PK.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/02/09 at 03:16 PM ET
well if there’s ever a time to experiment it’s now….looking forward to seeing what kindl can do…..is he really tall? can i call him the amazon kindl(e)....i’m going to call his stick kindl wood….....dumb i know.
Posted by Itrusteddrrahmani from Nyc by way of A2 on 12/02/09 at 03:21 PM ET
Call Murph!
Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 12/02/09 at 02:19 PM ET
Or 1-800-Call-Sam.
Or Dr. Rhamani.
I guess it could be worse. The Wings could be looking to bring back Anders Eriksson.
Posted by Primis on 12/02/09 at 03:24 PM ET
It will be interesting to get a look at Kindl; though from my understanding, isn’t he more of an Offensive Dman than a stay-at-home guy? I’m not sure that bodes completely well, but we’ll see…
Fingers crossed we won’t have to get a look at him until he’s a black ace. To whom do I have to sacrifice what to ensure Raffi’s in the game?
Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 12/02/09 at 03:25 PM ET
We’ll be allright. I feel a goal from the Drapes/Helm/Miller line coming on early in the 1st, followed up by a surprise slapper from May and a nail in the coffin as our boy Leino gets going.
Posted by Hippy Dave from Portland by way of Detroit on 12/02/09 at 03:45 PM ET
i’m actually pretty excited to see Kindl.
Same here. I just read Redwingcentral.com’s prospect ranking and they seem pretty high on him. There’s probably a decent chance that he’s on the roster next year, so we might as well see how he can handle himself.
Posted by Garth on 12/02/09 at 03:56 PM ET
You want Brian Campbell.
You NEED Brian Campbell.
Brian Campbell will make the pain go away.
Posted by Forklift from Section 314 in the United Center on 12/02/09 at 04:12 PM ET
You do not want Brian Campbell.
You do not NEED Brian Campbell.
Getting rid of Brian Campbell will make <strike>the</strike> my pain go away.
Posted by Forklift from Section 314 in the United Center
There were a few typos in your post, Forklift. I fixed them right up for ya, no charge.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/02/09 at 04:26 PM ET
Don’t you pimp Carrot-Top to us Forklift. Take his ugly f*ckin’ goldbrickin’ ass and his albatross of a contract back to the UC where it belongs. If you want, though, you can get your gun and go after Dale Tallon for signing him.
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ...
What he said. Lock & load, muthafuckas. Lock and load.
Oh how I wish the Playboy Club was still at Exit 69. Still, it’s not too far offa there to The Melting Pot. I’m pretty sure I could use drowning my sorrows in molten cheese right now.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 12/02/09 at 04:26 PM ET
Over on Ray Ferraro’s TSN.ca blog, the Razor highlights issues with the Oil. Some snippets:
Things have gone from bad to worse in Edmonton with the recent loss for the season of Ales Hemsky. Bright spots have been few and far between for the Oilers, who enter Monday’s action with just four wins in their last 18 games. There are all kinds of legitimate reasons for their problems, starting with an incredible run of the flu that sapped the club as they were off to a good start and injuries to defencemen Sheldon Souray, Denis Grebeshkov, Steve Staios and lately goalie Nikolai Khabibulin among others.
However, the problems run much deeper in Edmonton.
The biggest red flag for the non-playoff team last year was a group of forwards that were pretty much all the same size and the same skill set. They wouldn’t or couldn’t win loose puck battles and seemed lost as to how to create offence. . .
The fact that the Oilers have only out shot their opponents six of 27 games tells me they don’t win enough battles to own the puck frequently enough.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 12/02/09 at 04:33 PM ET
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 12/02/09 at 04:34 PM ET
I can’t believe how long it took for a photoshop like that to get posted here. Looking back, it was worth all the wait. Excellent job, sir.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/02/09 at 04:50 PM ET
Eaves must have some games played or minutes played incentive clause that management doesn’t want him to get.
Posted by pgoody on 12/02/09 at 05:13 PM ET
Posted by TeamDub
Is that a pic of Vokoun after Ballard got done with him?
Leino-Datsyuk-Holmstrom
Bertuzzi-Zetterberg-Cleary
Draper-Helm-Miller
May-Abdelkader-Maltby
FINALLY. I think, given enough time (read: more than two shifts, and no less than two games) that line could be a good one.
I figured Kindl would be the first young D to get called up to prove his mettle, so here it is. Now if they’ll just call up Ritola my plan will be complete…
... wait, what?
Posted by RedMenace from the darkest recesses on 12/02/09 at 05:15 PM ET
Oh dear God. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. About that photoshop or any of this. If you read Saler’s blog, there is a good little blurb there about Megan’s take on Kindl. I’m feeling mildly okay about this. For now.
Posted by jennyquarx on 12/02/09 at 05:20 PM ET
I read about Kindle in today’s WSJ.
Apparently Amazon is selling a shitload of ‘em.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 12/02/09 at 05:25 PM ET
Fantastic, Dub.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 12/02/09 at 05:25 PM ET
Is that a pic of Vokoun after Ballard got done with him?
After careful consideration, I’d like to retract that statement because… well, honestly, I feel bad for the guy. I’m sure he gets enough shit being on TV…
I’m not much prettier (if at all), but hell—the guy’s a lawyer for crying out loud. He beats me handily at life.
Posted by RedMenace from the darkest recesses on 12/02/09 at 05:25 PM ET
the guy’s a lawyer for crying out loud. He beats me handily at life.
Except he has a bitch of a time getting those tiny little blue and pink pegs to go into the minivan.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 12/02/09 at 05:31 PM ET
After careful consideration, I’d like to retract that statement because… well, honestly, I feel bad for the guy.
You know what?
I did, but not any longer.
He chose to be on television, and… he is a lawyer.
Fair game.
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 12/02/09 at 05:37 PM ET
That is a personal favorite of mine.
Just in time for the holidays, have fun popping some bubblewrap.
http://dagobah.biz/flash/bubblewrap.swf
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Warm and sunny SoCal on 12/02/09 at 05:51 PM ET
Jobu’s fuched us again. It’s time for a new mascot, and I think Dub’s found him.
Posted by Bella on 12/02/09 at 05:52 PM ET
Posted by Forklift from Section 314 in the United Center on 12/02/09 at 04:12 PM ET
FRACK NO. YOU SIGNED THE SPINNY BLIND-PASSING CARROT TOP, YOU ARE STUCK WITH HIM UNTIL MILBURY GETS ANOTHER GM JOB.
Or until he has a team-sponsored unfortunate industrial accident.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 12/02/09 at 06:43 PM ET
He beats me handily
If you had just stopped there I would have asked “Is that how he went blind?”
Ay-yooo!
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 12/02/09 at 07:56 PM ET
Sweet Jeebus on a pogo stick! What next?
Where’s Chelio’s? Grab his AARP card and sign him for peanuts.
only thing that makes the stomach cramps bearable is Dub….brilliant!
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, when in doubt, pinky out on 12/02/09 at 08:42 PM ET
If you had just stopped there I would have asked “Is that how he went blind?”
Ay-yooo!
You, sir, are evil.
Keep up the good work.
Posted by RedMenace from the darkest recesses on 12/02/09 at 09:27 PM ET
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I read the headline and promptly vomited. I then read the lead-in to the quoted snippet, and vomited again.
I hope Rafalski is fine and can play. We really don’t need anymore injuries.
Posted by Alan from Atlanta on 12/02/09 at 02:05 PM ET