Abel to Yzerman
Next entry: Brrrrrrrrring Me Another
Previous entry: Checking In
Research: Zero Boats Named After Pens This Summer
by IwoCPO on 07/14/08 at 02:25 PM ET
Comments (56)
Many of you, 19 at last count, have latched on to the idea of helping me name my boat. Your responses have been heartwarming. I’ve located a nifty device that should help us in this very serious endeavor.
If you go here, you can test the name out on a boat that actually looks a bit like mine.
Me? I decided to give a little back to our friends at Pensblog.
This one may hurt…
But probably not as bad as this one.
Or even this…
Filed in: | Abel to Yzerman | Permalink
Comments
Looks a lot like mine SYF, but not quite. That’s just the boat they use so juvenilidiots like us can have fun making up boat names.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 07/14/08 at 01:48 PM ET
I getcha. It helps to see what your boat looks like to come up with a suitable name. If the picture is just an indication, then the right boat name had to be a fun kind.
What kind of motor are you running on?
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 07/14/08 at 01:52 PM ET
11 Cups is definitely out Chief. The run will not stop at 11. You would just have to change her name again.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 07/14/08 at 03:26 PM ET
^haha....that was totally unintentional. I was just trying to get a boat that said Dynasty. damn site.
Posted by Osrt on 07/14/08 at 03:50 PM ET
Whatever you name her, be sure to list “Hockeytown, USA” as home port.
Posted by Nate A from Dark side of the moon on 07/14/08 at 03:54 PM ET
The wreck looks awesome with “Jackass Gary B.” as the name. 
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 07/14/08 at 04:00 PM ET
I think the wreck of the boat should be called “NHL season 2004-2005.”
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 07/14/08 at 04:22 PM ET
I was too lazy to embed the picture, but the wreck with “Hopes of Leaf Fans” is just b-e-a-utiful.
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 07/14/08 at 05:40 PM ET
How about Mo’ Cheese? The Floating Circus? Douche Canoe II?
entry word was na62me
Posted by aaron from phoenix on 07/14/08 at 06:25 PM ET
Cmon, some Pens fan out there must have named their boat the USS Hal Gill.
Might I suggest naming the boat after some memorable Wings moments? For example:
Hasek Flips Gaborik
Turtle Lemieux
Fleury Shat In The Stanley Cup Clinching Goal (too long?)
I’ve always liked these boat names from movies:
The Boat (One Crazy Summer)
The Filthy Whore (Cabin Boy)
The Flying Wasp (Chief, you have to know what this is from)
Seafood (The Flying Wasp scratched Seafood’s anchor!)
OK, you don’t have to guess anymore. Spaulding, get your foot off the boat!
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago, on the poop deck, not over it yet on 07/14/08 at 06:45 PM ET
Why is it you Detroit fans are still so classless when you have such a classy hockey team, with such a professional GM and gentlemen players? I understand that the author of this blog is a manner-less cad, but the rest of you should be better.
Posted by Jeff Beaumont from Lumberton, USA on 07/14/08 at 08:02 PM ET
Welcome Jeff!
(The drool cups are on the lazy Susan, next to the 11 cups and the Thorazine.)
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 07/14/08 at 08:08 PM ET
author of this blog is a manner-less cad
Proper manners like coming to a fan’s blog and insulting its readers? I’ll pass on that etiquette thanks.
Posted by Osrt on 07/14/08 at 08:10 PM ET
the author of this blog is a manner-less cad
Hell yes. You’ll be seeing THAT again soon.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 07/14/08 at 08:11 PM ET
the author of this blog is a manner-less cad
Hell yes. You’ll be seeing THAT again soon.
I think it’s the hyphen that does it for me.
...
Yep, it’s the hyphen.
Posted by TeamDub from The gratch. on 07/14/08 at 08:16 PM ET
I think it’s the hyphen that does it for me.
...
Yep, it’s the hyphen.
For me too.
Could have used ill-mannered, rude, impudent, tactless, crude, coarse, or my personal favorite - uncouth cad.
If someone is going to wander into this area during the offseason and go about insulting people, we demand the amusement of a more interesting vocabulary!
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 07/14/08 at 08:55 PM ET
Ok...I think we have it. How about “The Uncouth Cad” for the boat name? Or if you’re into puns “The Uncouth Cod”. Or how about “The Uncouth 19”.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 07/14/08 at 09:57 PM ET
hahaha i like how everyone that comes here to insult wings fans, they all call us classless
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 07/14/08 at 10:36 PM ET
but the rest of you should be better.
A day on the links and I come home to a midsummer nights troll, how quaint. Clearly the fatal flaw in your quest for logic, Jeff from Lumberton, .....may I call you Jeff?, is that “we” should be better. Surely an assumption that will leave you, shall we say, wanting. Truth be known we kinda like the “manner(insert hyphen)less cad” who runs this place. [Emphasis added]
That being said, one can only speculate as to whence you came, upon taking a brief moment from picking your nose to use your free digit to click upon our little corner of the Red Wing Nation. Nevertheless, pull up a three legged stool and take your best shot. Stay long enuff and you will truly know what the 19 here are.... “better” at. Call it summer school and get ready to learn.
It’s the Summer of Stanley and here, well, the living is easy.
Waiter!
Posted by Rumbear from Depends on Tee Time on 07/14/08 at 11:26 PM ET
OK, this is a blog post, right? And I can say anything I want, even if it’s really lame, right?
Good, then I’ll chip in with a couple of suggestions. I’m still stuck on all the whining Coach Therrien did about obstruction.
So: “Winning Sans Whining”
Or drop the “h” to make it a little more cryptic:
“Penguin Wine”
“Therrien Wine”
or “Obstruction Wine”
Does hockey start soon??
Posted by BobTheZee on 07/14/08 at 11:42 PM ET
how about “Money buys Hossa but not a good boat”
Posted by trump on 07/15/08 at 02:53 AM ET
that boat was SICK as *#$%@& in 89!!!!!!! so nasty!
Posted by CFX from IND on 07/15/08 at 03:05 AM ET
the author of this blog is a manner-less cad
Um, the Edwardians called, and they want their lingo back. Next you’ll be saying that our uncouth bearing is giving you the vapors.
Seriously, what are you, like six? You really shouldn’t be playing out on the net at your age. There’s PORN and BAD WORDS out here! In any case, glad to see Pens fans still can’t stop hanging out here. If it bothers you this much, I’m pretty sure nobody’s forcing you to read it. Isn’t it Kwazy Summer Fun over at Pensblog?
As for the boat, I’ve got a few suggestions:
“Nineteen”
“The Winged Wheel”
“Original Six” or “Original Six Pride” ("Pride of The Original Six,” but it’s a bit long.)
“Hoist The Cup”
“GWG”
“Al The Octopus”
“Red Bird III”
“Puck Possession” with a sister ship of “Skill”
For a touch of my father’s Wings, there’s “Olympia” or “The Production Line.” You could widen the scope and encompass all of what makes us great. “Michigander” or “Michigander Pride.”
But you should probably let your wife choose the name for the sake of harmony at home. That’s what my father-in-law did when he bought his boat. The fact that “Barn Owl” is a much better name that “Colin’s Joy” is immaterial, as is the fact that my suggestion of “The Flying Orangeman” royally sucked and probably would have gotten the boat blown up anyway.
“The poor cook he caught the fits
And threw away all my grits
And then he took and he ate up all of my corn
Let me go home
Why don’t they let me go home
This is the worst trip I’ve ever been on...”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the Random Name Generator on 07/15/08 at 03:31 AM ET
Um, the Edwardians called, and they want their lingo back. Next you’ll be saying that our uncouth bearing is giving you the vapors.
bwahahahha...F#$%# Pwned!
Posted by Osrt on 07/15/08 at 06:53 AM ET
Ok I’m a pens fan and whoever said this site was classless and all that crap needs to shut up. It’s called being a fan. It’s all in good fun and if you can’t handle it then DON’T READ IT! Do you want everyone to be say stuff like: “They played fantastic and were the best opponents we ever had. It’s a shame we had to beat them because they really worked hard out there.”
Give me a break… keep up the good work A2Y
Going on, I have some suggestions of my own:
How bout trading in that boat for on old barge and having “The Mule” tow you around
...or you can name it the Osgood, but make sure you install a diving board off the back.
...or maybe less of a name but more of a statement like: “The entire attendence of a Red Wings game can fit on this boat.”
...or “The difference between Hossa and the Joe is only one sells out.”
Ok, ok that last one had nothing to do with a boat, but I had to take a shot. Call me bitter I guess.
Go Pens!
Posted by Guinsman from Pittsburgh, PA on 07/15/08 at 07:06 AM ET
@ Guinsman: you are the best kind of fan—bitter!!! LOL good on you.
Of course, Pens fan especially has a lot to be bitter about. Lets see, first Scotty Bowman, and Larry Murphy leave the Pens for the Wings and win multiple Cups. Now when PIT is at the precipice of greatness; Hossa and Conklin abandon the Pens. Wing fan can hope history holds true to form.
Andrew has an excellent choice of name for your boat Chief: “Olympia”. Conjures up images perfect for Detroit Red Wing Fan—old, worn-out barn, with a team that consistently kicks ass, and takes names. I like it alot, but could I suggest—“Ms. Olympia”
For my own two-cent suggestion; “Spirit of Detroit”
Enjoy your summer—Bitches!!
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 07/15/08 at 08:15 AM ET
On further consideration, you manner-less cad, I think you should name your boat after your wife or daughter, with the homeport: “Hockeytown”
Posted by w2j2 on 07/15/08 at 08:46 AM ET
If the writer of this blog is a manner-less cad, can the readers be called a manner-less cadre?
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 07/15/08 at 09:43 AM ET
I don’t know what the name should be, but you absolutely should mount a machine gun on that bad mamma jamma. Then you can be manner-less and destructive. Best of both worlds really.
Then maybe name it something like “Bettman Hunter” or “Gunning for Gary.” Something along those lines.
Where will said boat be kept?
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 07/15/08 at 11:22 AM ET
How about SS Yuengling or Wing Nut.
I grew up on Lake Champlain, my fathers boats were always named Priority One. He always used the anacronym that Dub posted yesterday about bringing out another thousand.... I can’t imagine feeding the petroleum to a good size boat today.
Dad always had me lugging 6 gallon gas cans for what seemed like a full day to fill the 100 gallon tank and not pay marina prices.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 07/15/08 at 11:47 AM ET
That boat looks older than Gary Roberts.
Posted by Pens fan on 07/15/08 at 12:02 PM ET
The S.S. Flying Circus (M.B. Flying Circus?)…
Summer sucks even worse when you win the Cup and the free agency sweepstakes… Seriously, how many days till prospects open in TC?
Posted by mudshark from Divetown, Colorado on 07/15/08 at 12:27 PM ET
You could call it “Obstruction” and then you could ram it into other boats and pretend like it never happened.
Or better yet, you could call it “Ozzie” and whenever another boat sailed by, it could sink for absolutely no reason.
Why make fun of another team in the offseason? Because until they release the schedule we’ve all got nothing to do.
Posted by Josh from Mt. Pleasant on 07/15/08 at 01:23 PM ET
name it “Boat”
Posted by snickerdoodles from planet earth on 07/15/08 at 01:44 PM ET
Or you could name it “IreallywishIcouldgooutonmyboatbutwhocanafford
towiththepriceoffuelbeingwhatitisandindogyearschrischelioswouldbedeadbynow” but you may have to get a bigger boat.
Posted by snickerdoodles from planet earth on 07/15/08 at 01:58 PM ET
How about “Troll Hunter”?
Arrogant & Proud?
Juvenal FTW?
Kiss my Champion-ship?
I Can’t Hear You Over The Crowd Applauding Yet Another Stanley Cup Banner?
Like A MotherF$%@er?
Posted by Osrt on 07/15/08 at 03:10 PM ET
Eureka!
I’ve got it!
The Puckbunny!!!
Posted by snickerdoodles from planet earth on 07/15/08 at 04:21 PM ET
I want to see 17 hanging in the rafters next year…
Juuuusssst kidding. Seriously though, thanks to Dallas, he earned this cup for sure.
Take her easy, Dallas. And if she’s easy, take her twice.
Posted by rwingscup19 from Dallas on 07/15/08 at 05:33 PM ET
rwingscup19 wrote:
...if she’s easy, take her twice.
Chief! Right there! There’s the name of your boat.
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 07/15/08 at 05:35 PM ET
•Anchovy to Yellowtail
•Zam-boat-i
That’s all I got.
Hope you guys are enjoying your offseason! [/not really, still bitter]
Posted by Dr. Turk on 07/15/08 at 06:10 PM ET
How about The Bouncing Barnacle?
Posted by snickerdoodles from right here on 07/15/08 at 07:33 PM ET
whatever you name it, put “Hockeytown, MI” on the back as the home port
Posted by scheisskopf on 07/15/08 at 08:32 PM ET
How about the Edmund Fitzgerald?
Then you’ll be sure to go down faster than Hossa in a room full of glory holes.
Posted by hossawho on 07/15/08 at 10:01 PM ET
Posted by Pens Fan on 07/16/08 at 08:58 AM ET
Check out thepensblog. looks like your boat is under attack.
Posted by Pens Fan on 07/16/08 at 09:00 AM ET
“STRICKLAND BLOWS EKLUND(e5)”
Naw, no sense giving either one of them the noteriety.
The boat is not the same type and I suck at photoshopping, but for a more serious recommendation, here you go:
The Winged Wheel logo placed above the name and ‘Hockeytown, USA’ scripted below would look cool, but there would be licensing issues to be resolved.
Posted by Olongapo Joe on 07/16/08 at 09:31 AM ET
Add a Comment
Please limit embedded image or media size to 575 pixels wide.
Add your own avatar by joining Kukla's Korner, or logging in and uploading one in your member control panel.
Captchas bug you? Join KK or log in and you won't have to bother.
Most Recent Blog Posts
73 Men Sailed Up For This Live Blog and It Was 19 Who Led Them
Bartender, Statesman, Instigator…Voox
If The Sun Refused To Shine…We’d Live Blog
Jimmy D: “We’d Be Happy With A Top Ten Pick”
Swine Flu Or Not? The Levee’s Gonna Break And We’re Gonna Live Blog It
About Abel to Yzerman
Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome:
A2Y Stuff
-----------------------------
Wanna Feel Smart?
Does confusion make you sad? When you read words like "enigma" and phrases like "Thanks Gary. Ass", do you wonder why mean people speak in languages you don't understand? Fret no longer friend! The A2Y Glossary will bring you great joy and enlightenment.
-----------------------------
How Others View The A2Y 19
"Hell, I guarantee the content co-opters at Abel to Yzerman were about to link this article under the heading “Bitter Blues Fans” again right up until they just read that last half-sentance. Thanks but no thanks, you Kukla hangers-on."
--St. Louis Game Time
"I realize it’s the slow summer season, but can this guy tone down the tough-guy histrionics? His posts are fatiguing on an otherwise excellent site."
--A2Y Fan, Eternal_Fields
"I constantly marvel at how Bill (IwoCPO) and his disciples at Abel To Yzerman can be so pompous and full of themselves throughout every regular season, but come playoff time they collapse into wavering puddles of stress and nervousness as they anxiously await the impending and unavoidable collapse of the Red Wings in the post-season."
--Mile High Hockey
"I hate them because they are better than us. Of all the frigging teams…"
--In The Cheap Seats
"It's just a shame that the most classless, uneducated, lowbrow fanbase in the league gets this sweep. Red Wing fans don't deserve their team."
--Thhom
"I really don’t care what fans or bloggers think."
--Drew Sharp
"Why is it you Detroit fans are still so classless when you have such a classy hockey team, with such a professional GM and gentlemen players? I understand that the author of this blog is a manner-less cad, but the rest of you should be better."
--A2Y Fan, Jeff Beaumont
"Have you ever *read* A2Y? Its the most opinionated, juvenile stuff i've read."
--Paul Nicholson
"I actually like the Detroit team and have a sh&% load of respect for them, but their fans are the biggest douches next to Canadians."
--KStewy, PensBlog Commenter
"Just when it looks like we have bottomed out, the 19 hit a new low."
-A2Y legend, Hockeytown Todd
"And for the record, I don't hate the Red Wings, I hate their fans."
--Douche Bag at Puck Daddy who isn't Wyshynski
"You’re nothing but a douchebag ****, c3po. Go f**k yourself, and learn something about hockey in the process. Nothing ruins my day more than seeing your byline on the kk page."
--Hector, A2Y fan, statesman, Pittsburgh Chapter of Jonas Brothers Fan Club President
"I can just imagine the kindergarten teacher’s reaction when the tyke blurts out 'Mommy says Gary Bettman is a f*cking f*ckface! He wants to give ‘Rosby the bad touch.' ”
--Bella, of the 19
Head to Hockeytown
Blogs the Chief Likes
Thanks for the full pics of your boat, Chief; it looks great!
“Fun N Games”
“Hot N Saucy, Please”
Weak. I know…
Posted by SYF from Las Vegas, NV on 07/14/08 at 01:43 PM ET