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Roundtables Galore: Carrying News That Must Get Through
by IwoCPO on 09/04/09 at 11:06 AM ET
Comments (47)
If the post title confuses you, then you weren’t here yesterday. Epic discussion and I have no idea who or what Ween is but I’m gonna find out. I did you all a disservice though, because I didn’t point you to some roundtable ditties.
Triple Deke and Bingo Bango had great stuff yesterday and Wednesday. Snipe, Snipe, Dangle, Dangle was on the hook today and the topic is one of our favorites: goaltending.
I think the goalie of the future is Thomas McCollum. Yeah, he imploded in the World Juniors, but he’s a strong-headed kid and I don’t think that will affect him in the long run. At least I hope not. All signs point to Larsson being the real deal, too, and that’s certainly encouraging. I have to imagine that in a handful of years, one of those guys become the first bona fide Red Wings-drafted and developed star netminder in quite some time.
My money’s on McCollum.
I have no idea what I said about goaltending, but that’s Michael from The Production Line, a blog I just added to the roll on the starboard side today. I offer no excuse for my delinquency on that. Sometimes I think I’m smart and that I’m doing all the right things. Then, on other days, I say to myself, “Dude…you’re no pharmacist.”
One more clicky for you. Matt Reitz from A View From My Seats, asked me to help out with his Central Division preview. Jess from Bingo Bango also participated and was brilliant as usual.
My input was unbiased, neutral and exceptionally well written.
1. Why is your team going to be better than they were last season?
Chief (Red Wings): I honestly don’t know if we’re going to be better, or not. I’m not sure we need to. Realistically, we need to be better than Chicago and I’m not concerned about that because of their goaltending. Then we need to be better than Boston. They worried me last season and still do. I think we can count on Osgood being better during the regular season, but it’s not a requirement as he proved in the playoffs.
The Wings don’t need to improve. They just need to be healthy going into the Finals. Pittsburgh proved that even a mediocre team can beat a great one if players like Datsyuk, Lidstrom, Holmstrom, Rafalski and Cleary are all hurt.
Have a great Labor Day weekend. I’ll be checking in from time to time and we may even get the 9th bitch on the rivalry depth chart a few days earlier than expected. Maybe. I make no guarantees…because, you know, the dogs of doom are howling more. Again…if you didn’t read yesterday….
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Comments
My money’s on McCollum.
I would give Rosby a call before making any rash decisions.
**ducks**
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 09/04/09 at 12:13 PM ET
“Dude…you’re no pharmacist.”
Must be you don’t have a 6 figure income to go along with that low IQ. 
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/04/09 at 12:19 PM ET
Pittsburgh proved that even a mediocre team can beat a great one if players like Datsyuk, Lidstrom, Holmstrom, Rafalski and Cleary are all hurt.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
howz ur economy c3po?? fuching looser…I make $150 k every year jerkoff, I could fuching buy you and your blog…
Datsuck got pwned by Malkin especially after he beat the shit out of Zfag…omg lolz!111!!!!!
Sorry, this post just lacked in stupid and I thought some was needed.
McCollum has great size and a very good glove hand. Larsson is small quick and fundamentally sound. I would bet on the former but Larsson might end up being better suited for NHL speed action. Well, at least if we have a 2011 season.
Posted by Osrt on 09/04/09 at 12:21 PM ET
I’m realy liking the Roundtable, except for the Olympics part where I felt an outsider.
So, what’s this post’s band? It won’t top The Zeps, but… whatever.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/04/09 at 12:22 PM ET
Datsuck got pwned by Malkin especially after he beat the shit out of Zfag…omg lolz!111!!!!!
I hope your head hurt after writing that. It’s amazing how similar Pen(i)s trolls comments are to those you see out every jagoff on Youtube. It’s sickening.
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 09/04/09 at 12:27 PM ET
Still…it was a good impression, I snickered.
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 09/04/09 at 12:28 PM ET
FAIL.
That mediocre team skated the Cup on your ice after captain 1 nut choked on the final shot.
Insults aside…
Believe it or not, but your team did not get any better in the off season. It got worse Losing Hudler, Hossa, and a capable back up should be of great concern to you. The rest of the team isn’t getting any younger either. Thinking Bertuzzi will bring anything positive to the team is dillusional.
Flame on.
Posted by Captain Sausage on 09/04/09 at 12:37 PM ET
If Lidström lost 1 nut, he still has more balls than Rosby and Maul-kin TOGETHER.
Posted by MacPhisto from Hungary on 09/04/09 at 12:47 PM ET
The rest of the team isn’t getting any younger
It’s called Time, it passes for everyone not named Michael Jackson. Crosby’s a year older too, did you know?
We’ve been hearing that “the Wings are older” since what, 1982? Come on, Chelios leaving already drops aur average age in about 6 years! And are we getting older with God Helm, Ericsson, Leino and Howard?
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/04/09 at 12:48 PM ET
Ah yes, forgot that internet meme. “FAIL” ... if you had figured out how to put in a lolcat in there somehow you would have won the internetz
Hudler replaced by Leino
Hossa = regular season star = no one here gives a isht about the regular season after 18 straight playoff appearances
Tuzzi = lolcat killer = i can haz deth?
Posted by Osrt on 09/04/09 at 12:50 PM ET
Believe it or not, but your team did not get any better in the off season. It got worse Losing Hudler, Hossa, and a capable back up should be of great concern to you.
I’m still looking for the part anywhere in here where one of the fans says that the Wings got better in the offseason. Simple fact of the matter is, if you look at it objectively, which Stanley Cup contender teams did get better?
The Hawks? Ok, they replaced Havlat with Hossa, but they lost Khabibulin.
The Penguins? They got another year older and more mature, but we’ll see if the replacements for Scuderi and Gill can pick up the slack.
The Capitals? I don’t get how people actually consider them a real contender in the first place
The Bruins? Another year angrier
The Sharks? Got rid of some dead weight, held on to the same big heartless chump they always had.
The Flames? Got deeper on defense, shallower on offense. They’re going to be this year’s Ducks. We’ll see if a forward line and a half and a tired goaltender can take them farther in the playoffs this year.
The Canucks? Big wild card there, but I don’t see any marked improvements over last year’s squad.
The Flyers? Again, deeper on defense, shallower on offense.
In my personal opinion, this whole list leaves four pretty solid Cup contenders in the Wings, Flames, Bruins, and Penguins.
Hawks and Flyers are still on the outside looking in.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/04/09 at 12:57 PM ET
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/04/09 at 01:57 PM ET
Nice assessment there. It’s almost as if this salary cap thing kind of, you know, sucks.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 09/04/09 at 01:05 PM ET
Nice assessment there. It’s almost as if this salary cap thing kind of, you know, sucks.
Yep , you can only get so good, and then STOP!! You can’t spend another cent.
Good job, J.J.
Posted by Lindas1st from New England on 09/04/09 at 01:14 PM ET
In my personal opinion, this whole list leaves four pretty solid Cup contenders in the Wings, Flames, Bruins, and Penguins.
I’d say replace the Hawks with the Flames?
I don’t get to watch a lot of Western Conference games, but I can’t see the Flames as a huge threat in that conference. I know defense wins championships, but you can’t win anything unless you score at least one goal.
Then again, the Hawks have a huge question mark in net, so…I guess that could potentially be worse.
Ween? An Air Force buddy of mine had me listen to one of their CDs on the way home from picking me up at the airport once, a few years ago. They’re interesting, but I’m not really a fan.
What a random conversation that must’ve been, though!
Posted by Flashtastick56 from Milford, CT on 09/04/09 at 01:15 PM ET
The Pens got Tony G as their new assistant coach.
Something tells me they won’t do as well as they did last year.
Posted by AvsRock from My timeshare in insanity... on 09/04/09 at 01:16 PM ET
I almost used the Hawks instead of the Flames, but Calgary’s defensive corps really does worry me. They may turn into a spoiler team in the playoffs. The kind of guys that you can beat, but you can’t go on to win the cup afterward because of how beat up you are after finishing a series with them.
In a perfect world, the Flames would meet the Hawks in the postseason before either of those teams see the Wings.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/04/09 at 01:19 PM ET
I make $150 k every year jerkoff
yeah ok there Osrt, I bet you make that much. From how you write you sound about 15 years old and if im wrong then you probably still live with your mother. Your such a badass talking about Michigans economy, people like you are a joke. Seriously.
Posted by Aaron from MI from Huron, MI on 09/04/09 at 01:20 PM ET
Ah yes, forgot that internet meme. “FAIL” ... if you had figured out how to put in a lolcat in there somehow you would have won the internetz
Hudler replaced by Leino
Hossa = regular season star = no one here gives a isht about the regular season after 18 straight playoff appearancesTuzzi = lolcat killer = i can haz deth?
I can haz deth. That freaking slays me. Bravo OSRT, Bra-fuching-Vo!
Posted by ITDeuce from The Land of Ice and Snow on 09/04/09 at 01:22 PM ET
Aaron, dude.
He was making fun of someone else.
Osrt is a Wings fan.
Posted by AvsRock from My timeshare in insanity... on 09/04/09 at 01:30 PM ET
Aaron, dude.
He was making fun of someone else.
LOL. The Avs fan has to point out to the fellow Wings fan that I was making fun of the stupider trolls. Awwwwkward. And Awesome.
Posted by Osrt on 09/04/09 at 01:38 PM ET
Was keeping up with them via Snapshots. Gotta say, hell of an intro Tyler, but you’ve now caused me a crisis of identity…as an observant Jew and a rabid, Jew-hating scumbag Red Wings fan, I may just implode. Or maybe all the classlessness, arrogance, douchebaggery, and faggotship that is inherent in a Wings fan will wash that away. (BTW, I borrowed the word ‘faggotship’ from Edward Albee. No Zoo Story, but true story.)
As for goaltending, I’m hoping that this year is Howard’s own little STFU. Maybe his mediocre play in the AHL has just been because he’s been bored with too much time in the AHL, and not pushed for the Griffs’ starting spot enough, and maybe now that he’s in The Big Show he’ll really strut his stuff. And yeah, as long as we’re dreaming I’d like a pony. One that breathes fire and has a spiky mane and a minigun on its back. Still…hope against realism, I guess.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/04/09 at 02:21 PM ET
yeah ok there Osrt, I bet you make that much. From how you write you sound about 15 years old and if im wrong then you probably still live with your mother. Your such a badass talking about Michigans economy, people like you are a joke. Seriously.
Ooh! Ooh! Me first!
FAIL.
Heh heh.
(Seriously though, sorry and nothing meant by it Aaron. But Osrt’s a regular around here, a long time member of The 19, and was just pointing up the idiocy of the average troll we get on here these days with satire.)
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/04/09 at 02:23 PM ET
Lost in all the madness and fun of us sharing our love of Zeppelin here is something that applies almost too well to Detroit and the team they’re going to roll out. If this team were to be a rock concert movie just look for the parallels between the Wings and the rock opus “The Song Remains The Same.”
Just stay with me here because this will blow all 19 of your pants off… If you’ve still got them on.
Band manager Peter Grant playing the part of a gangster taking out a pack of hideous villainous thugs while they dick around and play cards and then leaving the scene calm and cool in a sweet Pierce-Arrow. That’s got Ken Holland written all over it. The name of that faceless thug: Salary Cap.
Robert Plant’s section of the movie (set to “The Song Remains The Same” and “The Rain Song”) where he’s living the Viking dream of sword fighting and conquering his foes and captaining his ship to foreign lands and kicking the crap out of some shadowy stranger and then relaxing by the fire while looking for his own personal holy grail. To Jonny Ericsson!
John Paul Jones’ sequence (set to “No Quarter”) where he leaves the peace and quiet of his family to join his band of masked riders in the night to do what it is he needs to do to take care of the bad guys roaming the streets at night all while spooking out his own family. Who else but Nick Lidstrom could pull off such a feat while donning such fabulously dandy clothing?
Jimmy Page’s epic mind-bending fantasy sequence set to “Dazed and Confused” almost begs for a comparison to Todd Bertuzzi but he hasn’t earned that here. Instead, the song, the scene with Page crawling away and hunting the hermit in the mountains and finding out that it’s only him in the first place is dedicated to the 19 because who else could age and grow sinister and ugly in the matter of seconds during a Red Wings playoff series.
Who else could be so similarly dazed and confused after this offseason after the Finals and then the perplexing moves by the front office. The only thing about this sequence that could make it MORE appropriate would be a scene where Page as the old man climbs on board of a train filled with psychotic drunks all either curled up in the fetal position or having monkey knife fights just because it feels like the right thing to do.
John Henry Bonham’s race car fantasy set to “Moby Dick” makes sense for just one guy: Henrik Zetterberg. The song starts out showing Bonham on his ranch getting ready to head out and he’s escorted away by easily the hottest girl that appears in the film. Well, Hank’s wife might be one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen, so there’s that. “Moby Dick” as you know is a drum solo, a crazy madman left to his own devices to make magic happen. So say when there’s a 5x3 penalty kill, who’s the forward out there left to hold down the fort on his own and capable of making things happen? You guessed it.
Then you’ve got Bonham showing his kid the ropes on drums and he’s having a grand old time with the lady. OK so Hank doesn’t have a kid to show the ropes…. Or does he Darren Helm? Yeah, it’s a stretch, but let’s face it - if there’s a guy we’re going to have out there mimicking Hank while defending a 5x3 it’s going to be Darren Helm.
Honestly, does this need to be any clearer?
Detroit Red Wings - Hammers of the Gods
Posted by HockeyJoe from Upstate New York on 09/04/09 at 02:28 PM ET
And yeah, as long as we’re dreaming I’d like a pony.
Mister, would you please help my pony?
Posted by Aaron from phoenix on 09/04/09 at 02:35 PM ET
Mister, would you please help my pony?
I think it’s his neck…
Posted by kemeisel on 09/04/09 at 03:08 PM ET
Was keeping up with them via Snapshots. Gotta say, hell of an intro Tyler, but you’ve now caused me a crisis of identity…as an observant Jew and a rabid, Jew-hating scumbag Red Wings fan, I may just implode. Or maybe all the classlessness, arrogance, douchebaggery, and faggotship that is inherent in a Wings fan will wash that away. (BTW, I borrowed the word ‘faggotship’ from Edward Albee. No Zoo Story, but true story.)
I was going to saying something else but the word “faggotship” has completely blown my mind.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 09/04/09 at 03:13 PM ET
Pens fans are OK,
I’ve been watching, and also all over the hockeynet…
Pens fans are OK…
at least the ones that stay on their side of the tracks…
The malcontents that drift over here tend to bring out the worst in the 19…
Ignore….IGNORE….I-G-N-O-R-E…
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 09/04/09 at 03:30 PM ET
It got worse Losing Hudler, Hossa, and a capable back up should be of great concern to you. The rest of the team isn’t getting any younger either.
Well, we lost a couple third liners, a 47 year old defenseman and a sniper who, while he did score 40 in the regular season, disappeared in the playoffs. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Hossa when he was here but when the playoffs rolled around, I would’ve rather had Dallas Drake and the team we won with the year before completely intact. And, like Pittsburgh would’ve been last year if they had, I think we would’ve been a weaker team this year if we re-signed Hossa, because we would’ve had to dump significant salary to ice a full roster.
Are we a better team than last year? That’s impossible to answer, because on paper we were a better team last season than we were two seasons ago, but we won the cup two seasons ago and lost last season, so how do you even compare? We may not have THAT 40-goal scorer in Marian Hossa, but we’ve got three guys this year who, with altered roles thanks to Hossa leaving, are threats to score 40 EACH this year.
As far as age, we dropped/lost a 47-year old, a 33-year old, a 32 year- old, a 30-year old, a 27 year old & a 26 year old who were replaced with a 34-year old, a 29-year old, 3x 25-year olds and a 22 year old.
So yeah, we might actually HAVE gotten a little younger.
Good points though. Thanks for coming out.
Posted by Garth on 09/04/09 at 03:32 PM ET
The Hawks? Ok, they replaced Havlat with Hossa, but they lost Khabibulin.
Not only that, but they replaced a full-season of healthy Havlat with, what, 2/3s of a season of recovering-from-surgery Hossa.
It boggles my mind that people keep harping about how much better the Hawks have gotten.
Posted by Garth on 09/04/09 at 03:37 PM ET
Ignore….IGNORE….I-G-N-O-R-E…
We try gramps, we try and fail. It’s like getting drunk everyday before noon or beating your children; the temptation is just too strong, with their little heads just sitting there waiting just asking to be fuching popped off.
Posted by Osrt on 09/04/09 at 03:43 PM ET
In my personal opinion, this whole list leaves four pretty solid Cup contenders in the Wings, Flames, Bruins, and Penguins
Injuries and officiating, two additional “contenders” that can’t be forgotten.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/04/09 at 03:45 PM ET
Chicago could be a threat, but i don’t see it.
Their GM brought a star to help the young guns.
Then the GM was fired, the star had a surgery and one young gun assaulted a cab driver.
Meh
Posted by Guilherme from Brazil on 09/04/09 at 05:11 PM ET
Their GM brought a star to help the young guns.
Then the GM was fired, the star had a surgery and one young gun assaulted a cab driver.
I love it. Concise and to the point. And true. It’s the perfect off-season recap.
Posted by Kris from MI on 09/04/09 at 05:14 PM ET
Oh screw it. It’s hard to say who really will have the most influential season. With the defense and offense the Wings have I can’t even answer my own question. I’ll just be cocky and say the Wings will have the most influential season all the way to number 12.
As an arrogant Wingaholic, this is the way I see it also.
Another great season for the Winged Wheel. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 09/04/09 at 05:34 PM ET
Miss you guys. 
Go 19! Go Ween! Go Wings! Hugs and bitchslaps all around.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 09/04/09 at 07:14 PM ET
Hugs and bitchslaps all around.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 09/04/09 at 08:14 PM ET
Wow she just keeps getting better by the month.
And more people need to heed HTT above, the Cowards will be gone.
Posted by RWBill from the Land of 12 in 12. on 09/04/09 at 09:19 PM ET
Aw thanks Bill.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 09/04/09 at 11:17 PM ET
Injuries and officiating, two additional “contenders” that can’t be forgotten.
Too true.
Aw thanks Bill.
He was talking to your breasts.
Posted by Osrt on 09/05/09 at 12:37 AM ET
yeah ok there Osrt, I bet you make that much. From how you write you sound about 15 years old and if im wrong then you probably still live with your mother. Your such a badass talking about Michigans economy, people like you are a joke. Seriously.
This is my favorite thing that has ever happened.
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 09/05/09 at 12:58 AM ET
Aw thanks Bill.
He was talking to your breasts.
Posted by Osrt on 09/05/09 at 01:37 AM ET
Hey! I was talking about her eyes. But wait, I didn’t type anything, so I guess I’m covering tracks I didn’t leave. Either way, both are kickass. And both (Orst and Bill) are right.
Have I said I love this blog recently?
Also, if the Triple Deke isn’t getting enough advertisement from this blog for the Sega NHL ‘97 player profiles, then I must be putting way too much money into my bets for how the 2009-10 season will turn out. If you screw one of these up Tyler, so help me God I will avenge my Vegas debts with a wrath not unlike the cruel ball-taking fate TPH suffered.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/05/09 at 02:02 AM ET
Miss you guys. Go 19! Go Ween! Go Wings! Hugs and bitchslaps all around.
Huh. With that avatar, suddenly I don’t miss Floyd the drunk inflatable flamingo anymore. Have I PMed you recently, Jenny? No? Vast oversight on my part…
I was going to saying something else but the word “faggotship” has completely blown my mind.
Like it, Tyler? As a half-cut, eye-patched Edward Albee unintentionally bequeathed it to a bunch of uncomfortably quiet college students and middle-aged liberals, so I bequeath it to you. Use it well, my son. Use it well.
Garth, good level-headed argument, but I’m curious—who’s the third forward you see popping 40 this year? I can easily see Z and Mule, but beyond that, I don’t know. Dats won’t be any more ice time than the max he got last year, and he’s more of a passer anyway. I think he’ll get to 30, but maybe not 40. I can see Homer getting 20-30, Buckets maybe pots 30, 20 from Wally, 20 from Leino, 30-40 between Bertuzzi and J-Will, 10 each from Eaves and Helm, 5-10 between Drapes and Maltby, and…have I missed anyone? Speak up now or forever hold your peace.
Now if you’ll excuse me, that damn pony is chewin’ bark and not leaves again.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 09/05/09 at 02:50 AM ET
This post and its comments are so epic I am speechless.
If the 19 can get the Chief into Ween, I feel we will finally have returned all the good he has brought our lives. Boognish knows there are 1,000 good Ween lines to title Live Blogs with.
Henry Rollins is one articulate dude. And rocks hard too. Rollins talks about worshiping at the altar of Ween.
Pooonyy (Exclamation Points)
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 09/05/09 at 09:50 AM ET
Andrew - No you haven’t! But I’ve been away from the board for a while but I’m slowly making my way back to the train. I needed to take a break from everything for a while. Plus, I’ve been so busy with Derby. We’re actually in St Loser right now for a game with the Cincinnati Rollergirls versus the Arch Rival Rollergirls. Good times.
Sully and Orst - lol… you guys crack me up.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 09/05/09 at 08:46 PM ET
As a half-cut, eye-patched Edward Albee unintentionally bequeathed it to a bunch of uncomfortably quiet college students and middle-aged liberals, so I bequeath it to you. Use it well, my son. Use it well.
Andrew. Does he look like the talking pirate who opens the sponge bob episodes? “I can’t hear you”.
Ya gotta love all the MSM trying to knock us off the mountain once again with their prgnostications .Babs needs to tack up all that trash along with manditory game 7videos .I like the chemistry of this team with Hossa gone. Hank and the Mule are going to light the lamp many times this year . Wally is due for a breakout year also. Are we down to 39 or 40 Tuesdays to get out cup back?
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 09/08/09 at 09:24 PM ET
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If you’re refering to the Ween I think you are, then it’s a really horrible band.
I can’t stand them personally.
To anyone who does, it’s just my opinion and with music it’s to each their own.
But you are right. The Wings don’t have to change anything to be successful next season. One of the few teams that don’t.
Posted by AvsRock from My timeshare in insanity... on 09/04/09 at 12:07 PM ET