Abel to Yzerman
Ship at Sea
by IwoCPO on 09/01/10 at 06:03 PM ET
Comments (194)
It’s 1 September and I’m still floating, providing a steadfast blanket of protection to the coast of Southern California. Expected return to civilization and internet connectivity is in approximately 36 hours. Breakfast this morning with a few visitors to the warship: one from Pittsburgh, one from Chicago. Odd that both of these fans of the Pens and Hawks agree with us re: Rosby and the Hawks chances this season.
Get Malik to TC. Do it here via PayPal and contribute using George’s email: rtxg at yahoo
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Damn they realize in the Chi that they may never in their life times have another opportunity to see the raising of a Stanley Cup banner, thus the playoff prices.
60 USD for 12th row, is Bettman even going to get his money back?
(When we consider Tate Forcier may be a DB, consider Gary Bettman as the Gold Standard)
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/07/10 at 02:01 PM ET
In either group there would be a lot of uninhibited finger penetration in any available orifice of any available body.
Posted by RWBill from back in God’s steambath. on 09/07/10 at 10:18 AM ET
No wonder the morning after I met Sully my a$$ was sore and I had a terrible hangover. 
No more internet meet ups for me. 
Posted by calquake on 09/07/10 at 02:27 PM ET
No wonder the morning after I met Sully my a$$ was sore and I had a terrible hangover. No more internet meet ups for me.
I hate to make it worse for you, but generally simple finger penetration won’t result in soreness. it takes something bigger than a finger.
not that I know of such things…
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 09/07/10 at 03:14 PM ET
What’s worst of all, is that I don’t have something bigger than a finger anywhere on my person, unless it’s a thumb. So Mike, you made some new friends.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 05:14 PM ET
Anybody who’s seen the goatse knows what kind of damage you can do with only fingers and thumbs.
Anybody who hasn’t seen the goatse, consider yourselves lucky. Pure and lucky.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/07/10 at 05:23 PM ET
*runs away, screaming incoherently, flailing his arms and pelvis*
Posted by monkey from lighting my nuts on fire on 09/07/10 at 06:07 PM ET
if I woke up with a sore ass and couldn’t remember the night before, I think I’d go get an x-ray.
you just never know.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 09/07/10 at 06:38 PM ET
You’re eyes are not decieving you, that is rock bottom directly ahead of us and the brakes don’t seem to be working.
Posted by WingsFaninCO on 09/07/10 at 06:56 PM ET
*runs away, screaming incoherently, flailing his arms and pelvis*
Posted by monkey from bat country on 09/07/10 at 06:07 PM ET
You’re the worst mohel ever.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/07/10 at 06:57 PM ET
You’re the worst mohel ever.
I just shit myself laughing you son of a bitch.
Posted by monkey from lighting my nuts on fire on 09/07/10 at 07:37 PM ET
if I woke up with a sore ass and couldn’t remember the night before, I think I’d go get an x-ray.
you just never know.
*I’d probably lose my head in there if it wasn’t attached to my neck*
*Is this covered by the warranty?*
*There’s a pap for that*
*Dial me up, see if I ring*
*Oh my god, yes, yes, Droid does, Droid does*
Posted by monkey from lighting my nuts on fire on 09/07/10 at 07:42 PM ET
....LMAO….. most perverse and deranged group on The Gore, and not just hockey fans but Red Wings fans to boot….. I am so lucky…. (would be even luckier if I woke up with a sore ass that was NOT due to constipation or diarrhea.
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/07/10 at 08:02 PM ET
All these jokes about bunky-loving have me reminded of a…well, of a joke:
What’s the most popular pickup line at a gay bar?
“Mind if I push your stool in for you?”
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 09:02 PM ET
if I woke up with a sore ass and couldn’t remember the night before, I think I’d go get an x-ray.
you just never know.
When I was working EMS, a doctor I knew well in an emergency room Says to be in a professional tone “look at this x-ray and tell me what you see”. I saw a big vibrator half way in the transverse colon and I say to him ” is he here to have the batteries changed?” and he says ” now come on. we need to be professional here”. We then proceeded to got to the lounge and laugh are asses off. This was done prior to the federal hippa regulations by the way.
Hope you all had a good holiday and am chomping at the bit for camp to open in TC.
Posted by cigar_nurse from Greenville South Cakalakee on 09/07/10 at 09:04 PM ET
Oh! Which reminds me, even further, of that Electric Six song, ‘Gay Bar’!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTN6Du3MCgI
NSFW but SO worth it. Not as good as ‘Danger! High Voltage!’ But good.
The moment around 1:30, I lost my sh*t laughing…
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 09:08 PM ET
Thats pretty impressive, CN. Kudos for rounding the bends from rectum to descending to transverse….
Heard a similar story from a resident this past year. Pt presents w/ abdominal pain having lasted 3 or 4 days. Auscultation (stethoscoping) of abdomen turns up intermittent buzzing noise that corresponded to jolts of pain in the upper left quadrant. Of course, it was a vibrator, but the patient denied having ever seen it before. May have been an acquaintance of the 19, methinks.
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 09/07/10 at 09:48 PM ET
never seen it before, of course, it came in through the back door. lmao…
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/07/10 at 10:01 PM ET
May have been an acquaintance of the 19, methinks.
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 09/07/10 at 09:48 PM ET
So Mike, you made some new friends.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 05:14 PM ET
What are you guys trying to tell me? Have I been traded to the other side for an orifice to be named later?
Posted by calquake on 09/07/10 at 10:54 PM ET
Haha, take it easy, man. I think someone else may have had their way with you, like those kids we helped bail out of jail. Did you buy any of them a drink, put a roofie in it, get it mixed up and then hand him the wrong one? Happens to me all the time…
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 11:30 PM ET
What’s the most popular pickup line at a gay bar?
“Mind if I push your stool in for you?”
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 09:02 PM ET
Hey-oh! Can we get a rim shot on that one? WTF is a rim shot anyway? A waste of perfectly good whisky that’s what!
Ah but I kid the a$$holes. The A2Y audiences are the best audiences in the world! Tip your waitresses, enjoy the veal. Goodnight everybody!!!
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 09/08/10 at 04:16 AM ET
OMG, I’m dying laughing at this thread.
The moment around 1:30, I lost my sh*t laughing…
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 09:08 PM ET
I had to explain “gerbilling” to my sister after she watched that video.
Posted by Forlorn in VA on 09/08/10 at 08:09 AM ET
I was going to ask for a new thread, but this one is too awesome.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/08/10 at 08:12 AM ET
“Just when it looks like we have bottomed out, the 19 hit a new low.”
-A2Y legend, Hockeytown Todd
“A2Y is what other blog sites aspire to be when they fail to grow up: intelligent immaturity for the juvenile genius set”
—Captain Dennis Polonich, of the 19
This one time at band camp…
Posted by Osrt on 09/08/10 at 08:40 AM ET
Why do they call it PMS?
.
Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
.
Even more weird when I tell you the joke was told (chatted) during an online backgammon tournament I was playing in last night. Who knew backgammon players were similarly decadent to the 19?
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/08/10 at 10:37 AM ET
A2Y, the blog where the inmates truly run the “assylum”.
Posted by MOWingsfan19 on 09/08/10 at 10:42 AM ET
Oh! Which reminds me, even further, of that Electric Six song, ‘Gay Bar’!
True story: Totally jammed with their bassist years back. Taught him and the rest of the guys we were playing Dennis Leary’s “*#$%@&.” Offended the shit out of some guys wife. Good times were had.
Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 09/08/10 at 11:02 AM ET
Also, apparently I haven’t been playing any damn attention because you degenerate bastards had a full on page-long conversation about shoving things up each other’s asses.
I’m pretty sure that for our mental health, it needs to be October soon.
Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 09/08/10 at 11:04 AM ET
Posted by CaptNorris5 from The Winged Wheel, stuck in Chicago on 09/08/10 at 11:02 AM ET
No way! Jealous, those guys make me laugh until I poop myself. So damn inappropriate and in-your-face trying to gross people out. It’s the same style we have with LBs, yet they are making music & video’s using that technique.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/08/10 at 11:39 AM ET
Also, apparently I haven’t been playing any damn attention because you degenerate bastards had a full on page-long conversation about shoving things up each other’s asses.
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
We’re just making more room at the bar in the Hasek. You can seat four people on a single barstool if you turn it upside-down.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/08/10 at 11:50 AM ET
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 09/08/10 at 11:50 AM ET
Interesting that you specified bar stool. Cuz, man oh man bar stool can be some of the worst, most foul-smelling…
oh wait you meant stool as in a four-legged—ah hell, nevermind…
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 09/08/10 at 12:38 PM ET
Per Khan(!)...Maltby re-signs - 1 year, 2-way - $0.5M
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 09/08/10 at 12:56 PM ET
Thanks for the updates on our players, gang. Glad Malts did it, he certainly didn’t have too but he’s a fave of mine from way back when.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/08/10 at 01:06 PM ET
The Emperor comes in with news on Meech, takes one look then runs the other way.
Oh shit is it October yet? 
Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 09/08/10 at 01:10 PM ET
Meech on waivers per McKenzie.
Posted by Paul from Motown Area on 09/08/10 at 12:36 PM ET
Interesting that you specified bar stool. Cuz, man oh man bar stool can be some of the worst, most foul-smelling…
oh wait you meant stool as in a four-legged—ah hell, nevermind…
Posted by WestWing from Portland, Oregon on 09/08/10 at 12:38 PM ET
The Emperor comes in with news on Meech, takes one look then runs the other way.
Oh shit is it October yet?
Posted by mrfluffy from Cincy on 09/08/10 at 01:10 PM ET
That’s exactly what I was thinking, Paul comes in with hockey news we were yearning for 3 days ago, but the conversation took a perverse direction on its own (I think Sullyosis had something to do with it) and West Wing completely ignores it and goes on about bar stools (obtw, what is the best pick up line in a gay bar? oh yeah, been covered already).
Nice try, Paul, the Hasek has been hijacked.
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/08/10 at 02:00 PM ET
feeling lucky?
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from A. K. A. NostraGrampus on 09/08/10 at 01:55 PM ET
The “I’m Feeling Lucky” button is still there on Google.com – perhaps reminding users there are real people at Google – but it’s been rendered entirely irrelent.
How redolent.
I had heard of the feeling lucky thing but never used it, in fact until just now I didn’t even know what it was.
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/08/10 at 02:05 PM ET
As long as we’re - I’m - going to Hell, a comparison chart of Action Hero Optimus Prime vs Jesus Christ.
a heroic, brave and compassionate character who puts all his talent to use to improve the universe around him. has a strong sense of justice and righteousness, and has dedicated himself to the protection of all life, particularly the inhabitants of Earth; he will battle his foes with unyielding resolve.
Note: Optimus dislikes Rap music and enjoys playing basketball.
“transformers, more than meets the eye”
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 09/08/10 at 02:51 PM ET
Optimus probably loves Rap music,I mean he is a transformer,probably also breakdances
Posted by edillac from isolation on 09/08/10 at 04:20 PM ET
I had heard of the feeling lucky thing but never used it, in fact until just now I didn’t even know what it was.
I never used it, specially because typing on the address bar in Firefox has the same effect.
But Google saw people typing searches in up to 90 seconds… Good damn, someone was typing with his tongue?
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 09/08/10 at 05:49 PM ET
Sully was right. You reprobates are in rare form. 
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 09/09/10 at 07:36 AM ET
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That’s badnews from the poopship. Opening night at [hand] Jobing.com arena on the 16th of Oct was like 60 USD/ticket, believe I’m in the 12th row, too. Hurray for hockey hell!
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 09/07/10 at 01:27 PM ET