Abel to Yzerman
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Stop What You’re Doing
by IwoCPO on 06/11/08 at 05:58 PM ET
Comments (45)
A concerned reader sent this to me today. It’s important that you see it.
Note to Ollie Jokinen: Come to Detroit, my friend. You have my word, you’ll never have to do anything like this again.
Oh, and if you’re still in contact, pass the word to the piano player that he may have made a bad choice this time last year.
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Comments
Am I alone in thinking that looked like a public access promo for a gay reality show?
Oddly Gabe, you’re not alone in that thinking.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 06/11/08 at 05:20 PM ET
This concerned reader sounds like a really amazing woman. Person, I mean. Amazing person.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 05:25 PM ET
Are you telling me that’s the first time you’re seeing this? I guess I watched waaaaay to many hockey games this past year. They play that before every Panthers game. I found it to be the source of endless amusement.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/11/08 at 05:26 PM ET
Yes, unfortunately, Jenn...it’s the first time for me. I know. I knew I’d been missing something.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 06/11/08 at 05:27 PM ET
Actually, I believe it was just before the weekend games. Which was a shame. Because it should be seen, and often, and by someone who knows how.
I have no idea how or why I just drifted into a line from Gone With the Wind.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 05:31 PM ET
I’d say it’s more like a PSA for why should never sucker punch a fellow player on the ice. Karma, baby.
The comments on youtube (eg, “its hot") make me happy I’m not from Florida.
Posted by katiephd from Denver, CO on 06/11/08 at 05:35 PM ET
Oh, Lord.
Posted by Modnar from Cincinnati, OH on 06/11/08 at 05:36 PM ET
The only thing that could possibly have made that video better would be if Ed Belfour had interrupted it to try to bribe Olli Jokinen with $1 billion so he wouldn’t have to leave with him.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 05:40 PM ET
Actually, I believe it was just before the weekend games.
Was it just the weekend games? Sheesh, it seemed like every time I flipped through Center Ice and found a Panthers game, that thing was playing.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/11/08 at 05:49 PM ET
The piano player did not make a bad choice, I am so glad him and his lousy karma are gone from the Wings. I firmly believe that part of the reason the Wings won this year is because he left.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 06/11/08 at 05:53 PM ET
If anyone in the Wings’ PR department ever gets the brilliant idea to put something like this together, I will drive my ass home to Detroit and put the beat down on ‘em.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/11/08 at 05:53 PM ET
Oh, wow! I don’t think I realized it even got any play outside of the arena itself. I would kill to have that forever saved on my TiVo, as opposed to just, you know, poor-resolution YouTube.
What’s awesome is that, if I’m not mistaken, that was in fact submitted to YouTube by the production company (or, very possibly, developmentally disabled fourth-grade A/V club) that made it. Because you definitely want that to be your calling card.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 05:55 PM ET
I firmly believe that part of the reason the Wings won this year is because he left.
I firmly believe the reason we lost last year was because he hadn’t left yet. Excellent work on the part of Anaheim for compensating us like that.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 05:58 PM ET
EGAD! That was beyond bad. Awful, just frigging awful. To think, the FLA organization paid real money to have some crack-head dream that up and produce it.
I really wonder if some players have any clue at all what “other clubs” have going for them. I guess that if “you don’t know any different”, then it isn’t questionable.
Fil really ought to have a talk with his countryman, really.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Hockey Netherworld on 06/11/08 at 06:00 PM ET
I watched waaaaay to many hockey games this past year
I will drive my ass home to Detroit and put the beat down on ‘em
Jennifer, how YOU doin? 
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/11/08 at 06:32 PM ET
Jennifer, how YOU doin?
Lol… I hate to say it but I’m currently watching (again) the rerun on the NHL network of Game 2 of the Wings/Preds series. AND I’m sitting here blogging about hockey with all of you. That’s how much of a hockey nerd I am. Or as we say in my house, hockey monkey.
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 06/11/08 at 06:39 PM ET
wow, its amazing how many old washed up players the Panthers have...its like they are planning to retire in florida, where all the other snowbirds are. haha belfour is a joke, so is bertuzzi
Posted by yzer19man from Chicago on 06/11/08 at 06:51 PM ET
wow, its amazing how many old washed up players the Panthers have...its like they are planning to retire in florida, where all the other snowbirds are. haha belfour is a joke, so is bertuzzi
Well, Belfour’s long gone, but at least he was a FUNNY joke. (I mean, seriously, that bribing anecdote to which I linked above?) Bertuzzi ... no. NO. Never.
Also, I must throw some support behind the old-school Panthers, the ones whose hearts were collectively broken by the Dive all those years ago, right after the Dive did some very disgraceful things to the Wings ... they were quite the motley crew, but they got a lot done. And I will always love Tommy Fitzgerald. Tommy 4-Eva!
(Wait. Now I can’t remember if Belfour really is gone? He is, isn’t he? I haven’t really paid attention to the Panthers at all this year ... which is odd because I’ve been to a lot of their games. But, you know: Beer. Also: Vodka in flasks.)
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 07:20 PM ET
This kind of takes me back to the Saturday Night Live sketch with Bill Murray and Steve Martin…
“What the hell it that? Oh, wait, I know what it is....What the hell is that?”
Posted by Kate from Pa. on 06/11/08 at 07:20 PM ET
Jennifer & Phoebe, how YOU doin?
I will fully take this. As I was explaining to a concerned blogger earlier today, my current standards for a man are:
-- is Wings fan
And that’s it. Serial killer, child molester, morbidly obese ... whatever. Wings fan? Sold.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 07:22 PM ET
And that’s it. Serial killer, child molester, morbidly obese ... whatever.
Ah yes. The Nashville Trifecta.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/11/08 at 07:34 PM ET
Oh. And this is how I’m doing. Still. But isn’t that true of all of us?
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 07:35 PM ET
Ah yes. The Nashville Trifecta.
That’s my problem! I’m too far south to actually be in the South.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 07:39 PM ET
que?
Very odd. I refreshed my browser a few times and only once that picture popped up. Paul’s gone for a couple of days and the place falls apart. 
Phoebe, great pic.
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/11/08 at 07:56 PM ET
I am very elusive that way. And/or have no idea how to use simple HTML functions.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 08:01 PM ET
Here’s her original link.
“http://images.kodakgallery.com/photos3175/3/77/95/52/55/2/255529577306_0_ALB.jpg”
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 06/11/08 at 08:04 PM ET
Wow. Just, wow.
This seems like something the Wings PR department would cook up. God help us.
Posted by John from Pittsburgh, PA (Wings fan for life!) on 06/11/08 at 08:08 PM ET
Actually, this was. I think maybe it’s a temporary one? I don’t know. It really, really doesn’t matter. At all.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 08:08 PM ET
Well, I saw it. I think she was wearing a Dive jersey.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 06/11/08 at 08:09 PM ET
Well, I saw it. I think she was wearing a Dive jersey.
Yes. Indeed. It was Claude Lemieux, in fact. He’s just so dreamy.
... See, I’m torn between that and a joke about Mike Ricci. But then I’d be very sensitive and sad about any ensuing transvestite jokes.
Posted by Phoebe from Fort Lauderdale, Fla on 06/11/08 at 08:13 PM ET
What about greasy, stringy mullet jokes instead?
Posted by HockeyJoe from NY on 06/11/08 at 09:01 PM ET
Careful, Bill, you’re provoking Evil Drew…
Posted by George James Malik from South Lyon, MI on 06/11/08 at 09:07 PM ET
Well, I saw it. I think she was wearing a Dive jersey.
That’s not what I saw. The one I saw was filed under the folder “Mini-Bar!”....
...
*sigh* Is it October yet?
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/11/08 at 09:27 PM ET
Well, that explains a lot.
No wonder the Panthers lose so many games - the team was assembled by picking up random guys in bars and nightclubs, not by the normal processes of “drafting” and “player development” and “free agency signing.” It all makes sense now.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 06/11/08 at 09:58 PM ET
Oh. My. God. If Major League Soccer came out with a league especially for gay men, that would be their promo video.
Posted by TDeters on 06/11/08 at 10:08 PM ET
I find it hilarious that Bertuzzi has been playing in the NHL for 12 years, with 5 organizations and the furthest he’s gotten in the playoffs? Why the 3 months he spent with the Wings of course. But then I soon think about the WCF against Anaheim… Lang/Bertuzzi against Getzlaf/Perry… horrible, HORRIBLE… it made me very sad at the time but thank god he didn’t come back. Here’s hoping he stays with the Ducks, and Pronger remains as captain… they’ll never win!
Posted by yetanotherwingtransplant from norcal on 06/11/08 at 10:56 PM ET
Well, I saw it. I think she was wearing a Dive jersey.
Yes, but it matches her steel blue eyes perfectly.
Posted by CaptainDennisPolonich from Sunny SoCal on 06/12/08 at 12:07 AM ET
the team was assembled by picking up random guys in bars and nightclubs
You know, before that video, the last time I’d seen so many beards in one place was the Sturgis biker rally. And that includes the playoffs. Not that there’s anything wrong with a ‘beard,’ but come on, guys, don’t hide anything from your o’lady, tell her the truth. Come clean. “Baby...I play hockey for the Florida Panthers.”
Still, aren’t you glad that the same brilliant minds are on our side now? Don’t tell me you don’t see a touch of ‘Fire On Ice’ in that. The lo-fi production values, the absolutely stale concept, the effects that look to be from a circa 1984 Video Toaster...the only explanation is that the NHL instituted a salary cap for PR LONG before the salary cap for players.
Now all they’ve got to do is come out with their own line of cologne:
“It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries...Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good. They’ve done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works EVERY time.”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from the Closeted Hockey Players' Crisis Line on 06/12/08 at 03:35 AM ET
No Big Bert PLEASE! No wonder I can’t sleep 
Posted by hankyspanky40 from Michigan on 06/28/08 at 01:56 AM ET
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Am I alone in thinking that looked like a public access promo for a gay reality show?
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
Posted by Gabriel from San Diego, CA on 06/11/08 at 05:17 PM ET