Abel to Yzerman
Sunday Funnies
by IwoCPO on 07/25/10 at 12:08 PM ET
Comments (121)
Despite the fact that the Tigers’ season swirled finally and undeniably down the frigging Forsberg yesterday when Magglio Ordonez snapped his ankle? I found something that will make you happy. Happy like firetrucks and puppies and hookers in Spring? That kind of happy? No. But warm and satisfied, at least.
Only in Denver would the 12 remaining fans of a garbage franchise band together at a free internet Vegan cafe with their down jackets in July to discuss just how immature Wing fans are. It would appear our little sister friends took great offense at our Dater-hate. From the simpering masses at Mile High Hockey...
Two year old intelligence in the bodies of 350lb trailer trash.
It is possible that there are great players that don’t wear the winged wheel in the NHL.
Possible? Of course. Mentioned on an admittedly biased Wing blog? No need. And to take that a bit further, are there “great players” in Denver? Absolutely not. And that would include everyone’s favorite 40-game wonder, “Andy”.
Getting tired of the attitude and all around hypocrisy coming from that blog.
And yet…you keep reading. Why? There were no Dive mentions in there. A Stastny thing at the end, but just a trivial afterthought…like the Dive themselves, really. Bitch. Read some more. Whine. Read some more. Sob a bit. Read some more. How strange.
These guys are like every other Red Wings homer, only some idiot decided to give them a website.
Yeah Paul…you frigging idiot.
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Comments
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I seem to remember us having this argument last year as we signed Bertuzzi, obviously it wasnt as long and drawn out…
But what is this Lebron-esque bullshit with the waiting period and a “decision” on or around Aug. 6th.
Posted by pgoody on 07/27/10 at 07:17 AM ET
Bert may have a shorter and stronger temper than Willa’s Wife, and certainly bigger fists, but he keeps a much tighter rein on his mouth than Modano. When we signed him, it wasn’t definite one day, nebulous the next, and always waiting, with some new soundbite from him that reeked of Eggo’s finest breakfast provision. That probably accounts for at least three quarters of the arguing around here.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 07/27/10 at 10:20 AM ET
At least the advertisers have us 350 lb., 2 year old minded trailer trash fans in mind.
Posted by D4LRob on 07/27/10 at 11:04 AM ET
Could you even begin to rate how bad it would suck to be an Avs fan on the Suck-o-meter?
Thus the hate and hostility.
Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste. Marie on 07/26/10 at 10:46 AM ET
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 07/27/10 at 01:16 PM ET
laughing at mentally challenged people aint right,nor is winning debates against them something to be proud of
Posted by edillac from Let me ride on 07/27/10 at 06:05 AM ET
My mother taught me never to fight a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent, thus I don’t engage with trolls here.
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 07/27/10 at 01:19 PM ET
My mother taught me never to fight a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent
My mother taught me to never fight a battle of rock-paper-scissors against an unarmed opponent because that shit’s just mean.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 07/27/10 at 01:49 PM ET
My mother told me. You better shop around.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 07/27/10 at 02:18 PM ET
Mama said there’d be days like this; there’d be days like this my mama said.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 07/27/10 at 02:23 PM ET
Since nothing else is going on… I want to announce my candidacy for City Manager of Bell, California. Wait… what? They’ve reduced his pay by 90%? Nevermind.
In other news… Red Wing fans still waiting on “Willa or Won’t He?”.
Posted by calquake on 07/27/10 at 03:05 PM ET
Momma said knock you out.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 07/27/10 at 03:12 PM ET
Momma says alligators are angry because they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
Posted by D4LRob on 07/27/10 at 03:14 PM ET
Did ya’ll hear what mama said?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp6B6eu-cD4
Posted by Primis on 07/27/10 at 03:20 PM ET
My mother taught me never to fight a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent.
“I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.”
-George Bernard Shaw
Momma says alligators are angry because they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
Yo mama so fat, last time she wore Guess jeans, people walked behind her sayin’, “What, three-fifty, four hundred? C’mon, tell me!”
Yo mama so stupid, last time I wore Guess jeans, she walked behind me sayin’, “What, Levi’s, Lee? C’mon, tell me!”
And on a more noble note to atone for Yo Mama snaps…
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
-Ambrose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 07/27/10 at 03:51 PM ET
My twitter exploded today, and why, CROSBY CROSBY CROSBY WINTER CLASSIC CROSBY CROSBY CROSBY
remind me again why these jokers get ANOTHER winter classic?
Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 07/27/10 at 03:58 PM ET
remind me again why these jokers get ANOTHER winter classic?
Because the NHL’s marketing department consists of brain-dead chimpanzees and blind meth-addicted hobos, and their only idea for attracting fans is the slogan “CROSBY: RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 07/27/10 at 04:19 PM ET
It could be much worse, I guess.
Posted by creasemonkey from sweet home san diego on 07/27/10 at 04:44 PM ET
Jeebus, Crease, I thought that was funny until I realized that it was not satire.
Posted by RWBill from the Capital of the Confederacy. on 07/27/10 at 07:47 PM ET
remind me again why these jokers get ANOTHER winter classic?
Posted by FranzensMouthguard from Chicago, IL on 07/27/10 at 03:58 PM ET
I hope that El Nino guy shows up this winter and spoils Little Gary’s Bukkaki fest.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 07/27/10 at 09:35 PM ET
Momma always said “lifes like a box a chocolates, never know what you’re gonna get…”
Posted by pgoody on 07/27/10 at 10:04 PM ET
Momma always said “lifes like a box a chocolates, never know what you’re gonna get…”
Posted by pgoody on 07/27/10 at 10:04 PM ET
forrest gump - my mama always said
(Is it October yet?)
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 07/27/10 at 11:05 PM ET
“Life..is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you’re stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down until there’s nothing else left of it. Sure, once in a while, there’s a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee, but they’re gone too fast, the taste is…fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. If you’re desperate enough to eat those, all you’ve got left is an empty box filled with useless brown paper wrappers.”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 07/28/10 at 02:15 AM ET
It’s called a Hug Me pillow.
I call it a Reach Around pillow.
Gary calls it ________
Posted by Osrt on 07/28/10 at 09:08 AM ET
You know it’s a bad offseason when you go to ESPN.com, read the baseball liveblog from last night, and the only team’s “official” liveblog person there is the Tigers’ guy and halfway through the game he begins throwing out things like “Verlander is just not an ace” and “Annnndd it’s time to change the channel”.
Oh wait, no, this just sounds like this point in every other Tigers’ season…
Posted by Primis on 07/28/10 at 09:12 AM ET
It’s called a Hug Me pillow.
I call it a Reach Around pillow.
Gary calls it ________
Posted by Osrt on 07/28/10 at 09:08 AM ET
Armpit Pussy.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 07/28/10 at 09:29 AM ET
Bert sez : your momma is a Dive fan,and your daddy is a Penis fan
he’s the best
whats up with Lilja? hope he stays
and what about Asham for the 4th line,its a very injury prone line,IMO, Miller and Eaves will sit some time out,Drapes can write fairytales from the olden days in the press box half the season,never know- Helm can spped his way into something bad every damn day,that only leaves Ritola as a healthy guy there
Posted by edillac from isolation on 07/28/10 at 09:40 AM ET
Gary calls it ________
Sid.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 07/28/10 at 09:49 AM ET
It’s called a Hug Me pillow.
I call it a Reach Around pillow.
Gary calls it ________
“The way I’ve slept since my wedding night.”
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 07/28/10 at 10:15 AM ET
Gary calls it ________
love
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 07/28/10 at 11:44 AM ET
Gary calls it ________
the model partner.
Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 07/28/10 at 05:11 PM ET
Apparently, Devellano misses the Chief and want a new post:
GC: If you could pick any player in the NHL to build your team around, who would it be and why?
JD: Sidney Crosby because of his youth, ability to lead, and great talents. He’s a great young player that has already won a Stanley Cup and lead Canada to a Gold Medal. Pittsburgh has also made the finals twice with him, the first time when we beat them out, and then they beat us the second time around. He’s a bright young superstar.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 07/28/10 at 06:35 PM ET
JD: Sidney Crosby because of his youth, ability to lead, and great talents. He’s a great young player that has already won a Stanley Cup and lead Canada to a Gold Medal. Pittsburgh has also made the finals twice with him, the first time when we beat them out, and then they beat us the second time around. He’s a bright young superstar.
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 07/28/10 at 06:35 PM ET
His fingers were crossed the whole time…
Posted by pgoody on 07/28/10 at 07:35 PM ET
Posted by Guilherme from Brazsil on 07/28/10 at 06:35 PM ET
His fingers were crossed the whole time…
Posted by pgoody on 07/28/10 at 07:35 PM ET
Jimmy D is the bane of my existential Red Wing fandom. If Bert’s words spoke louder than his actions, he’d be Jimmy D. Seriously, I can never seem to agree with anything he says. It’s not his fault, he’s probably just crazy from winning so much, like the rest of the Wings nation.
Posted by Sullyosis from A hateful lair in Post Apocalyptic US (or Arizona) on 07/28/10 at 11:12 PM ET
Jesus fuching Christ.
I’m a proud and arrogant Canadian, but I’m already feeling nauesous when thinking of this year’s Gold Medal victory. Even at the time I was thinking, “why did it have to be him?”
And for the record, Rosby lead Canada to fuching nowhere. Jonathan Toews, Jarome Iginla (the forgotten man who did all the work on Crosby’s goal), Duncan Keith, Roberto Luongo and Ryan Getzlaf are the ones who lead Canada to the gold medal. Just as it was MAF, Geno and the Talbot Monster that lead the Pens to the ‘09 Cup.
I don’t deny that Rosby is an excellent player. He definitely is one of the top ten players in the game right now. But the oversaturation and constant “ZOMG CROSBYYYY!!!!!” is just vomit-inducing. If you’re a Pens fan, then yes I suppose it’s great right now, because your team’s captain is all over the map. But for the rest of us, we’d be joyful if we didn’t have to see Rosby’s face for a year.
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 07/29/10 at 02:42 AM ET
So Jimmy D is basically saying Crosby is like the Yzerman or LaFontaine of this era, because he’s a player JImmy would build his team around?
Get that man some armpit pussy; hit shite is stuck in the wrong hole.
Posted by Osrt on 07/29/10 at 05:54 AM ET
So one OT gold-medal winning goal makes up for an entire tournament of underproduction? Please. Rosby wouldn’t even have been in position to snatch that moment of glory if Canada had relied on him to ‘lead’ the team there. They can thank Iginla, Toews, and Keith for that. And then there’s the fact that even the Pens are having a hard time building their team around him because they can’t find him any wingers that he gels with that want to stick around—there’s a reason he had to revamp his game toward goal-scoring last season. Don’t even get me started ‘ability to lead.’ Sure. Build a team around him.
And it looks like we may get more old-time Roman gladiatorial-style hockey next season…
http://blog.mlive.com/snapshots/2010/07/yes_the_red_wings_have_offered.html
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 07/29/10 at 09:58 AM ET
maybe jimmy d was just saying that as a way to suck up to little gary? no, yer all right. he’s insane.
Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 07/29/10 at 10:41 AM ET
So…off topic, I know, but I have been trying to decide between Center Ice package (through Comcast) for next season and Game Center Live. I went with Center Ice last year, but I have head that Game Center Live has really improved over the last year. I was hoping for some input from the folks here. Any insight into quality of broadcast, availability of Wings games, etc.? I have a fast internet connection (except right around final exam time for the local University, LOL), and a screaming computer that is compatible with my HDTV (same room, so sending the video feed to the TV will be a breeze). Any thoughts are appreciated.
Posted by WingsFaninCO on 07/29/10 at 12:06 PM ET
Guys, guys, guys…lay off Jimmy D - I’m sure it was just a ploy to try and get a Winter Classic at Comerica Park….makes sense, right? Right?
Posted by Animal Drew from A Nightmare on Helm Street on 07/29/10 at 12:13 PM ET
Guys, guys, guys…lay off Jimmy D - I’m sure it was just a ploy to try and get a Winter Classic at Comerica Park….makes sense, right? Right?
What about a Winter Classic at Michigan Stadium? The largest crowd ever for a hockey game has to have some appeal to the NHL.
Posted by D4LRob on 07/29/10 at 01:10 PM ET
a game at michigan stadium would be incredible. but against who? little brother again? the dive? pinky’s wild?
the best teams are in the west, but most of the cities don’t really scream “winter classic”. phoenix vs detroit just sounds stupid. detroit vs chicago was epic because it’s believable.
Posted by Twig in Houston from Houston, TX on 07/29/10 at 02:33 PM ET
little gary would be quite embarrassed when the NHL could not sell out Mich. Stadium.
That is probably why it will never happen.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 07/29/10 at 02:41 PM ET
What about a Winter Classic at Michigan Stadium? The largest crowd ever for a hockey game has to have some appeal to the NHL.
Posted by D4LRob on 07/29/10 at 01:10 PM ET
NHL is too scared that it wouldn’t sell out.
Yes, CCHA teams can draw 75,000-110,000 without worrying if it will sell out, but apparently the NHL is worried they won’t. Go figure.
Posted by Primis on 07/29/10 at 02:41 PM ET
Yes, CCHA teams can draw 75,000-110,000 without worrying if it will sell out, but apparently the NHL is worried they won’t. Go figure.
The CCHA is a little smarter than trying to compete with bowl games on New Years day.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 07/29/10 at 03:00 PM ET
little gary would be quite embarrassed when the NHL could not sell out Mich. Stadium.
It’s not like tickets for the Winter Classic sell out in a matter of hours…oh wait.
Still, if they did have trouble they could always sell the last few for cut rates and still turn a tidy profit, but that would require Bettman to have two brain cells to rub together and come up with the incredibly simple idea. Which makes you right, it’ll never happen, at least not under Chairman Gary’s regime.
Hollis. Out.
Dammit Chris, gitcher butt back at the keyboard, the blogosphere needs you, ya big lunkin’ Zetterberg lookalike!
Seriously. We appreciate all you’ve done, best of luck for the future in that there ‘real world.’ Let me know what it’s like when you get there.
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 07/29/10 at 03:04 PM ET
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laughing at mentally challenged people aint right,nor is winning debates against them something to be proud of,relax its summer,
just keep Primodano away from this club,is all I care about
Posted by edillac from isolation on 07/27/10 at 06:05 AM ET