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Abel to Yzerman

The A2Y Monologues: Primis Edition

by VooX on 03/02/10 at 09:15 PM ET
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Our final installment (for now) of the A2Y Baby Monologues features International Man of Mystery, Primis.

He kept the effects of Jonny Ericsson, fertility god, on his family very close to the chest.  I suspect that anyone who talked about the pregnancy has disappeared under mysterious circumstances.  I am willing to go out on a limb and bring you the top-secret details.  If I disappear, find someone to replace me.  A2Y must go on.

Primis was kind enough to provide Exhibit D in our case for Jonny Ericsson being the most powerful force of fertility on the planet.

The Primis family are looking forward to an ultrasound update in a couple of weeks, and this one took great effort to get to us.  Apparently the CIA tampered with his scanner so that he would have difficulty sharing the photographic evidence of his exploits with us.

While running from the spies seeking to lock him in an underground bunker, Primis found time to participate in the A2Y Baby Monologues and agreed to declassify his answers so that I could share them with you.

Now A2Y super agent, Primis, speaks from the shadows:

Q:  Due date?
A:  So far, May 15th.  The Wings should be getting ready for the Western Conference Finals by then, right?  And it’s early enough it won’t interfere with the inevitable Wings’ Cup Finals games.

Q:  Have you picked any name(s)?
A:  We’ve tossed a couple around, but nothing yet.  I suppose we need to do that soon though, right?

Q:  Preparations you’ve made?
A:  We’re actually looking for a larger house, but with the housing market/economy such a mess here in Michigan I don’t know what will happen.  Either way we’re good for now I guess.  We have room for a baby.

We’ve also been going to as many hockey games as humanly possible.  When the baby comes, it’ll be a while at first before we’re comfortable doing that again I figure.

Q:  Mom’s most frequent craving?
A:  Aside from my wife desire to see Ryan Getzlaf’s smarmy (her choice of word) face punched as often as possible?  Mexican food, which isn’t unusual anyways.  And anything salty.

Q:  Mom’s strangest craving?
A:  Goulash.  Spicy vegetarian goulash.  Sadly, she hasn’t craved to watch Olympic curling… that’s apparently only a daddy thing.

Q:  Family’s reactions and efforts (immediate/extended)?
A:  Everyone’s pretty darn excited.  It’s been a while since there’s been a baby in the family on either immediate side.  Older siblings are all kinds of excited as well.  There was fists and the air and “Yes!  My dream come true!” when they got the news…

Q:  Expected position/role on the ice?
A:  I don’t know, but she’s gonna’ be a real smooth skater.  Maybe an offensive defenseman with wheels.  Her little legs are already almost constantly moving, as mommy would attest to.  She’s going to put Bret Hedican and Kristi Yamaguchi’s kids to shame on the ice, I can tell already…

Q:  How will you indoctrinate them towards the Red Wings?
A:  It won’t be difficult.  If we manage to get a bigger house I practically have a room full of Red Wings and hockey stuff to decorate with (as the posters and the street sign stating “DETROIT RED WINGS DR” will attest.  We don’t watch football in our house, and we don’t watch NBA basketball.  We watch very little Tigers baseball, and we watch only some MSU Football, Hoops.  Instead we’re a hockey house.  We watch Red Wings games on TV (and occasionally make the pilgrimage to the Joe).  We took the kids to a “hockey weekend” this last fall going to Kalamazoo for a K-Wings game, then up to Grand Rapids to watch the Baby Wings the next night.

We’re a hockey house, and there’s no question where our loyalties lie.

Q:  Plans for the first jersey you will buy them?
A:  We’ll see.  Helm or Cleary probably.  My wife is the world’s biggest Cleary fan.  I certainly won’t be buying her a Lebda jersey any time soon.  Maybe I can find her a Lang one to wear for whenever she has her diaper changed…

Q:  Repercussions if they become an Avs/Ducks/Rosby fan?
A:  That’s not funny.  I already have a son who thought it’d be funny to root for the Pens during the past 2 Cup Finals.  He’s since learned that it was not the wisest choice in the world if he wishes to remain an active part of a healthy and happy home…

Q:  Describe your feelings during the pregnancy?
A:  For me, impatience.  It seems like a whole lot of waiting, and there’s still months to go.  My wife tries to talk about it in terms of weeks to make it seem shorter, but it’s not working.  Also, I want her to have her baby shower and get it over with so I don’t feel obligated to wait on buying baby stuff.  Every time I’m at Meijer, WalMart, or Target I feel the pull of the baby section’s gravity reeling me in.  Especially things like the tiny little Red Wings socks…

For my wife, she’s tired of course, and impatient.  Even though the time also seems to be flying to her, she’s still naturally impatient as well.

My wife is also feeling extremely creeped out by Bill Bonds’ eyes in the Sam Bernstein commercials.  He looks like a cyborg, or like he’s about to steal your soul…  he’s like a real-life version of The King.

Q:  How are mom and baby doing? 
A:  They’re doing fine.  Mommy’s ribs are in a little rough shape at the moment from all the aforementioned kicking, but overall they’re both fine.  Baby likes listening to her older siblings sing to her, and stretching into mommy’s ribs.  Mommy just wishes she could get a bit more rest and a little less stress…

Q:  Anything else you’d like to share?
A:  Were it not for my wife’s pregnancy, we’d maybe have tried to attend Herm 2 Hockeytown.  But there’s just too much going on.  Hope everyone has a great time at it, and it’s an awesome thing to be doing.  Only A2Y could pull of H2H.

Also congrats again to everyone else that’s having a baby soon, and hoping mommies and babies all are healthy and back to watching the Wings together as soon as possible.  A2Y is a great community, and it’s great to see us adding to it the old-fashioned way!

I am packing my bags and going into hiding, as I am afraid of the repercussions of sharing the best-kept secret at A2Y.  While I am gone, take care of Mrs. Primis.  I wish you many happy and healthy years together raising the next generation of secret agents. 

Pray for me 19.  I hope to be able to talk to you soon.  Gotta run, there is a menacing knock on my door.

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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