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Abel to Yzerman

This Little Piggy Won A Cup, And He’s STILL Whining.  This Little Piggy’s A Dive Fan, And He’s Mad.

by IwoCPO on 06/18/09 at 02:55 PM ET
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Wow. What a remarkable day in the land of hockey fans.  Over here you have Red Wing fans.  Still upset over our loss to the Stanley Cup Champion Pittsburgh Penguins.  But recovering, coming to grips and counting the Tuesdays (49, thanks) until sweet adorable 8lb, 6oz baby Jesus decides the joke is over and the Cup comes home.

And on that side over there?  Penguin fans. Up in arms and confused.  I remember last year, when the Wings won…so happy were we.  Parades, summertime joy, puppies, firetrucks, even hookers I’ll bet.  The last thing on our minds?

Defending our team on the internet.  As a matter of fact, not only did we abstain from that last year?  But I’m betting we resisted the three times the Cup came home prior to 2008 (capitalize the “D” in Dynasty please). 

But man…Pens fans are out in force, eyes peeled for the faintest slight, waiting to pounce with the indignation of a thousand stuck up prom queens.  And they’re not restricting themselves to the comments either, boy. I’m getting emails. Angry correspondence like this from our new friend, CJ from Pittsburgh.

It’s kinda long, so I’ll just give you some excerpts, just a little taste.  Ready? K. Here’s CJ, the advanced English professor.

Crosby is a *#$%@& champion, and all detroit players and fans can do is….whine, so SHUT THE *#$%@& UP ABOUT HIM.

Quit bitching. You lost. Get over it, and SHUT THE *#$%@& UP.

You dont know the Pens organisation, so SHUT THE *#$%@& UP ABOUT IT.

Good stuff my friend.  Quality.  I think he wants us to be quiet.

Oh, there’s plenty more.  Just read the comment section of this post.  You’ll see a couple more of PA’s finest (“But they’re the exception.”  Rigghhhhttt….got it) there who claim we’re “not in their heads” then proceed to type more than 500 words describing exactly why we’re “not in their heads.”  And then, because it’s an internet rule, they close with…“I won’t trouble to post here again, or to read your stuff.”

I know.  I know.  Bye now.  But they’ll come back. He already has and he will again.  The train wreck continues.

But in all the fun, all the perverse, sick pleasure we’re taking at watching the Pens fans go out of their minds as they try to justify their team’s Cup, we’ve forgotten about some old friends.

Ahhh yes. Dive fans.  Now before we go any further, let’s put some things in perspective here.  We’re fully up to speed and ready to admit “The Rivalry” is dead.  It just couldn’t be sustained any longer once the Dive started to suck so very badly.  So. Badly.  Oh, Denver fans despise us, everything about the Wings…the fans, our team, our owner, our former Captain and current Captain (both with more Cups than Joe Sakic has fingers that weren’t eaten by a snowblower).  But, try as we might, returning that love has been difficult.  It’s hard to hate someone who isn’t your equal.  And they’re not.  Not by a long shot. 

Now Gobbles and the Hyphenated guy and Shane and the rest?  Who do you think the venerable Dive bloggers were rooting for in the Final. Wanna take a guess?  No.  Well…hell.  I’ll show ya.

Reaction.

Our Buddy Shane

I’m a so happy

We know you are Shane. We know.  Should I recount the number of times we’ve been happy at the Dive’s expense the last seven years?  “I’m a so happy.”  Not sure what the “a” is doing in there, but that’s quality stuff right there.

And then there’s our hero Gobbles.  His joy at the Wings’ demise is almost obscene.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I’m going to bite my tongue as hard as I can so I’m not going to be a poor “winner”

Wait a minute…The Avs didn’t win, so I can’t be a poor winner. But I can just revel in the schadenfreude! *#$%@& it!

You’re right Gobbles. The Dive didn’t win.  Dude, they didn’t win at all.  Nor will they.  I mean, I’m sure Denver legend Patty Roy will provide some much needed heart to a team and a fan base that has absolutely none of it but…ohhhh, shit.  I’m sorry.  He teased you guys, then bent you over and then that little piggy stayed home. Joe Sacco….leader of men.  Got it Gobbles. Thanks.

Joey from Mile High Hockey chimed in and he was all giddy too.

The Pittsburgh Penguins have won game 7 of the 2009 Stanley Cup Finals, beating the evil Detroit Red Wings in Joe Louis Arena!

Congrats to the Penguins, and thanks from the bottom of our Wings-hating hearts!

“Wing-hating hearts!”, with an exclamation point Joey!  “Wing-hating hearts”...now that’s merciless, tough stuff.  We, of course, have no idea why any Dive blogger or fan would hate us that much.  It’s befuddling really.  I don’t know if it’s memories of another Game 7 involving the Wings that makes them sad, or maybe just a very recent sweep that somehow led to a season that exposed that franchise for the joke that it is and, worse, that fan base for being the know-nothing, bandwagoning, lucky lottery-winning but now hockey forgotten and cellar dwelling shithole?  I’m not sure. I just don’t know. 

But, you see, those posts were minor.  And, oddly, they were quaint and almost cute in their own way.  Those guys, Joe and Gobbles and Shane and the hyphenated guy…none of them are bad people or poor bloggers. They’re just Dive fans and that’s kinda sad.  But there’s venom in that there fake-ass town full of transplants who claim to be “natives”.  Oh yes there is.  Ready?  Move the family away from the Commodore because Mile High Hockey’s number 1 fan and Wing hater, Bobbing in Boulder, is mad, mad, mad.

Bobbing, who’s always been a huge A2Y supporter, took issue with our post from the other day when we correctly (as usual) pointed out that Kris Draper had never said a nasty word about anyone, ever, in his entire life, and that he should be believed because he’s a Red Wing and they never lie.  Ever.  Bobbing went off, boy.  He definitely does not like us very much.

Wow, that is wrong on so many levels.  First and foremost, the author, Bill, is flat out making shit up about Kris Draper so incorrect that it pretty much destroys any credibility he ever may have had as an NHL hockey expert, fan, enthusiast, ... hell, I don’t even think he could qualify as anything but a Red Wing puck bunny at this point.  Well Bill, when little Krissy’s face was “ravaged,” he actually had this to say:

“Look at my face.  I came here to play a hockey game and look at my face.”

Angry man. Angry fan. Angry because people call him “Bobbing” instead of Bob. I’d be angry too.  I’m curious what I made up, Mr. Garcia? Care to clarify?  Here was my original statement:

Can anyone recall a single time Kris Draper’s said anything to the media that could be construed as controversial or critical of another player?  Even after his face was ravaged by one of the more cowardly hits in NHL history, Draper said little to nothing.

Draper, who’s never shirked his responsibilities after Wing losses, who’s never said an ill thing about an opponent, who’s respected league wide…is now just making stuff up. Right?

What about Draper’s “look at my face” comment was controversial, critical or “ill”?  It was clear cut. 

Bobbing wasn’t done though.  Nope. 

Now on to the “hypocritical aholes” part.  Certainly, the Wings, in their storied history, have always managed to honor the code they now choose to whine profusely about, right?  Riiiiiiiiight.  After the Lemieux facial on Draper in 1996, accused RW pedophile Dino Ciccarelli questioned his own handshake with Claude with his famous “I can’t believe I shook his freakin’ hand” remark.  Following the 1997 RW-Av series, won by Detroit, Darren McCarty, the noble warrior who had cowardly attacked Claude from behind in the March 1997 brawl at the Joe, did refuse to shake Claude’s hand.  Heck, even as recently as 2007, Chris Chelios, the fine, upstanding NHL citizen that he is, refused the shake Anaheim player hands after that brutal series won by the Ducks.  So, in short, please just STFU RW players, fans and idiotic bloggers.  You don’t have a real issue in the first place, but your own players have more intentionally disrespected the code in the past.

You’d think Bobbing in Boulder was still angry about the ass kicking the Wings gave his garbage team last year.  Maybe he is.  Or maybe BinB is just angry because he sees the Wings as we do…still a Dynasty, still the most elite team in the league, still the greatest threat to win the Cup next year, and the team that would have won it this year if not for injuries, officiating and a meddling commissioner with a hard-on for Mike Ilitch.

I could be wrong of course.  I doubt it, but possible. 

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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977.  No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y.  Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation.  There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature.  Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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