Abel to Yzerman
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Time Killers
by IwoCPO on 05/07/09 at 10:43 AM ET
Comments (45)
Updated at 1154 EST with a shocking look at what Shark fans do every May and the return to A2Y of one Terry Foster.
A few ditties to help you pass the time. We’ll add to these as the day goes by, so check back from time to time. Hey. How about his game for the family? I like to call it “reasons to despise Gary Bettman.” Ready? I knew you were.
From Snapshots,
The Red Wings-Ducks TV schedule admittedly has confused me, and I’m supposed to know about these things, so, for the record: tonight’s game airs on Versus and only Versus in the United States, and TSN and only TSN in Canada.
Also from a Snapshots pointer…
...when you realize what Brad Watson is going through these days, you have to feel for him and wonder whether he’ll be appearing in the conference final games when those decisions are made by the league after his last couple of tough nights.
Yeah, I really have to feel for him. Frigging not. Pretty good article and real good digging, actually. Check this out.
He was in Vancouver with Tim Peel on a key play in Game 2 of the Vancouver-Chicago series when Kevin Bieksa was called for hooking Dustin Byfuglien though absolutely no such infraction took place, the call eventually turning into a two-man advantage on which Chicago tied the game and went on to win.
It wasn’t clear who actually made the call on that one, so let’s hope it wasn’t Watson — because in the next game he worked, he went down to Anaheim Tuesday night and appeared to pull another boner using the same technique, making the call just a little too early, seemingly anticipating something that never happened in both cases.
He did this once already, and…so let’s give him another shot to bend a team over. Awesome.
Back to the story up top. What are the odds we don’t get shafted again by Versus, Gary’s closed circuit channel? Can someone tell me, when he has his own channel in the NHL Network, why they can’t plan to start Detroit/Anaheim there, if necessary?
I’m sure, Gary…you little toad…that you have plenty of reasons why NOT.
Awww…check this little tyke out. His name’s Todd Maternowski and, like just a few others out there, he hates him some Wings.
Greetings, hockey fans: here’s hoping you were able to get to work safely today without getting elbowed in the throat by an NBA Golden Child. Last week, we fed feverishly on the fantastic foibles of the San Jose Sharks: this week, our love affair with the Anaheim Slightly Ducks continues as they bring the pain to NHL’s Public Enemy #1, the Detroit Red Wings.
Oh, the creativity doesn’t end there. Not for little Toddie. Nope. He’s got more and he’s come up with a new approach. An Albom-like fake conversation. Riveting.
Gary Bettman: “Gentlemen, we are faced with a crisis of epic proportions here, and if we do not act quickly and decisively, all is lost.”
Evil Refs: “You mean the impending CBA, the potential destructive impact of overexpansion or losing Canadian teams to the deep South?”
Bettman: “Of course not! I’m talking about how, ten minutes ago, I was copulating with Detroit owner Mike Ilitch and he refused to give me a reacharound. This abomination will not stand.”
Evil Ref #2: “Is that why we’re wearing these shrouds?”
Bettman: “As league commissioner, I have tremendous power to make or break any team as I see fit, and the responsibility to use said power at any and every opportunity. This is why I’m calling this meeting; gentlemen, we need to take down the Detroit Red Wings.”
You can guess the rest, or read it. Up to you. Or you can just skip down to the comment section. And don’t forget, we’ve seen this literary genius before.
They have no true enforcers. They ‘skate lightly’. Their forwards look ridiculous and out-of-place when they try to throw a jaw-shattering check. And an overly-physical team can beat them in a seven-game series: as long as the Stars, Ducks or Sharks play the way they can against the Wings, it’s unlikely Detroit will make it to a second-straight Cup Final. Of course, last year the Wings’ opponents tried to out-skill the Wings rather than punch them in their fat Swedish faces, and the result was the 2008 Cakewalk to the Cup.
I don’t know who Todd Maternowski is but he wrote that. Developmentally, I think he may be a bit slow. Plus, he used 8 exclamation points throughout his “article” and he looks like this.
So…yeah. Genius.
Okkaaaay. Terry Foster. I’m waffling how to handle this one and I’m just gonna lay it out there. Here’s what he wrote this morning.
Tonight’s Red Wings-Ducks game won’t be seen at Halftime Sports Bar off Greenfield on the west side of Detroit.
It won’t be showing a few miles away at another west side bar, Starters, either.
In most sports bars and taverns, the NBA will be top of mind, not the NHL. There’s more talk of LeBron and Kobe than Chris Pronger and Nicklas Lidstrom. Do hockey players go by first names? ... Nah.
I asked a woman at a greeting area what would happen if I asked the bartender to switch the television to the Red Wings game.
Good luck,” she said, laughing.
Said Halftime manager Robert Berry: “We don’t want to upset our clientele.”
So, I texted a friend, and this was her response: That’s bad for business.
In Hockeytown, there remains a giant hockey void in the black community. There is far more interest in the Lakers and Nuggets.
Tonight’s critical Game 4 can more than likely be seen at places like HockeyTown Café, Marge’s in Grosse Pointe Park and Black Finn in Royal Oak.
Not so at Halftime.
“You have to look at the location,” said Dre Sanford, a patron at Halftime. “I think this is a cultural thing. I hate to say it, but white people are more into hockey and blacks like basketball and don’t really follow the Wings. That might sound racist or something, but that is the reality of things.”
Berry said the Lions remain a big draw Sundays. But the Wings aren’t happening.
“I mean if somebody really wanted to watch them, we’d turn it on for them,” Berry said with a shrug.
First of all. Somebody FedEx Foster a Pulitzer. “...white people are more into hockey and blacks like basketball.” Whoa. Seriously? I wasn’t aware.
Here’s my question? Why? What’s the point of this story?
Foster can find a way to turn any story, at any time into a race thing. All his digging, his texting, his mid-day phone calls and empirical evidence? Oooh. You uncovered a goldmine of a story there Terry. And of course you ran it and nobody stopped you.
I wonder if the News would have stopped Wojo if he’d been idiotic enough to write a story from a hockey fan’s perspective?
Culture is culture. Nobody on either side of the fence cares if another segment of society likes our respective sport. Why does Foster?
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Comments
Per an ealier KK post, the game was broadcasted ALSO on RDS-Canada.
Posted by rjman48 from Royal Oak on 05/07/09 at 10:56 AM ET
Back to the story up top. What are the odds we don’t get shafted again by Versus, Gary’s closed circuit channel? Can someone tell me, when he has his own channel in the NHL Network, why they can’t plan to start Detroit/Anaheim there, if necessary?
Incredibly infuriating. Sometimes I manage to get by and can actually watch the regional feed (company forgets to black it out on all 4 channels I get); other times, blacked out. It’s almost as smart as putting both 7-730 games on the same night, while putting both later games on the alternating night. Great way to promote the game to the average viewer.
Regarding Watson: Fire his ass already. I don’t feel for him. Get a new job. There are plenty of other refs that at the very least won’t mess anything up more than he did. Fire them when they mess up one by one, and the rest will shape up out of fear.
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 05/07/09 at 10:56 AM ET
I was killing time seeing all the 19 haters try to be more immature then us. They are trying but no one is really putting up a good effort.
Posted by AxeMaster9 on 05/07/09 at 10:56 AM ET
What I don’t understand is why Versus doesn’t put Wings/Ducks on it’s standard def channel if the Chicago/Vancouver runs long? Other stations do it. Why can’t Versus? Switch when the game ends.
Posted by calquake on 05/07/09 at 10:59 AM ET
From the same article This was a major gaffe, and it was only the class of the Wings that prevented players from going off.
They were composed on Tuesday, but will be going off in a completely different way tonight….I think they’re ready to rip off the head of every duck and tinkle down their necks….Hossa came for a cup and I have a feeling he’ll be playing that way tonight…
Posted by Bingo Bango Jessie on 05/07/09 at 11:03 AM ET
Hossa came for a cup and I have a feeling he’ll be playing that way tonight
Jessie, I pray you are right. Datsyuks line MUST leave a mark on the scoresheet.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 05/07/09 at 11:08 AM ET
Okay. I live in San Diego. I will not be able to watch any games in this series after tonight (and wasn’t able to watch Tuesday) without going to a bar because:
1) The NHL’s TV contract is a joke and we can’t get on Versus OR NBC on Sunday for some reason.
2) Even games that ARE on Versus are blacked out down here, because they’re also on a channel called “Fox Sports West Prime Ticket”, which I can’t even order with Time Warner, you have to have direct TV.
I would like to join in blaming Gary, but let’s also blame Good old Bob Goodenow, whose bullshit union standoff caused ESPN and most of the country to regard the NHL as a joke.
Posted by Ian! from Somerville, MA on 05/07/09 at 11:09 AM ET
Why couldn’t they also run the game on Center ice and drop the exclusive Versus stuff? The NHL - finding more ways to stick it to their fans since the lockout.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 05/07/09 at 11:12 AM ET
They may not announce it, but it’s possible they will put the beginning of the Wings / Ducks game on center ice or NHL network. Far be it from them to get the word out about it. If that doesn’t work, I’ll definitely go to watching it online and resending the email I sent to the league prior to the start of the playoffs about how people who subscribe to center ice and Gary’s network should never have to miss a single minute of playoff hockey because people weren’t paying proper attention to television contracts and game overlaps.
Posted by J.J. from Kansas on 05/07/09 at 11:13 AM ET
That is the single biggest problem I have with the officiating:
CALL WHAT YOU SEE, NOT WHAT YOU THINK IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!
I could live with missed calls if they just couldn’t see what happened. But I despise the calls based on flimsy pretexts - based on anticipation of what might happen.
Let something happen, THEN react to it. It really isn’t all that difficult.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/07/09 at 11:13 AM ET
Hossa came for a cup and I have a feeling he’ll be playing that way tonight
Jessie, I pray you are right. Datsyuks line MUST leave a mark on the scoresheet.
Exactly Jeff. They don’t have an option not to, so they will. At least we’re talking about Datsyuk and Hossa, not Joe Thornton. We’ve seen the passion and heart in both of them…their big games coming….
Posted by Bingo Bango Jessie on 05/07/09 at 11:14 AM ET
Terry Foster is such an idiot. He comes up with a “The Wings are not as popular as you think” articles every playoff. He’s so jealous of the Wings. They are stealing the thunder of his beloved Pistons.
Nice article, Terry. If a hockey writer wrote how bars were not tuning into Pistons games, he’d be labeled a racist.
Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 05/07/09 at 11:31 AM ET
Here’s my question? Why? What’s the point of this story?
Well, the point IS that in Detroit, at a bar that’s named after either football or basketball (Halftime) will not be showing Hockey.
WHAAAAAAA?!?!?!??!!?
Meanwhile, against ALL ODDS, a place called the Hockeytown Cafe will be playing…what? Hockey? The HELL you say!!!
Posted by Garth on 05/07/09 at 11:31 AM ET
Chief, here’s video of Todd Maternowski after the Sharks lost. Looks like it hit him hard. And then his dad yelled him. So he’s probably still crying in his room about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqAypbgaUKM
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 05/07/09 at 11:34 AM ET
Terry Foster is a f*cking moron. That’s a well-established fact.
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/07/09 at 11:37 AM ET
Okkaaaay. Terry Foster. I’m waffling how to handle this one and I’m just gonna lay it out there.
In other news, tonight is NOT ladies night at Manhole and the Blue Oyster.
I wonder, if hockey fans wandered into Halftime or Starters, whether or not they’ll be approached by the regular clientele and get asked, “You mind if we dance with your dates?”
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago...nope, still not over it. on 05/07/09 at 11:40 AM ET
“I think this is a cultural thing. I hate to say it, but white people are more into hockey and blacks like basketball and don’t really follow the Wings. That might sound racist or something, but that is the reality of things.”
is this a Seinfeld episode? simply talking about preferences that people of certain races make for themselves is NOT RACIST.
not allowing blacks to watch hockey if they want to would be racist. not allowing whites to watch basketball if they want to would be racist. criticizing either for their choice would be racist.
simply discussing the reality of the choices they make that seem to largely align with race and culture, is NOT RACIST.
Posted by PaulinMiamiBeach on 05/07/09 at 11:46 AM ET
not allowing blacks to watch hockey if they want to would be racist. not allowing whites to watch basketball if they want to would be racist. criticizing either for their choice would be racist.
simply discussing the reality of the choices they make that seem to largely align with race and culture, is NOT RACIST.
Exactly.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 05/07/09 at 11:50 AM ET
he went down to Anaheim Tuesday night and appeared to pull another boner using the same technique
Hahaha, boner.
Anyone know what the plans are for Versus tonight? I assume they aren’t *#$%@&-tarded and will cut away to the Wings/Ducks at 10:30, unconditionally, in the Detroit and L.A. markets. But you never assume anything with the NHL… except the worst.
Posted by Nathan from the scoresheet! on 05/07/09 at 12:02 PM ET
The only decent mainstream sports journalist in Detroit that I can think of off the top of my head is Bob Wojnowski. He may be annoying sometimes, but you at least get the sense that 1) he actually knows what he’s talking about, and 2) isn’t more interested in himself than the subjects he covers.
Detroit’s got a fine history of complete hackery when it comes to sports journalism, going back to Jerry Green and Pat Caputo.
Posted by Mandingo from The Garage on 05/07/09 at 12:07 PM ET
Nobody on either side of the fence cares if another segment of society likes our respective sport.
Yes.
How you’re all managing to write complete sentences is beyond me. Oh shit, I just did it. So, if I keep typing the bad bad feelings go away for a while. OK then. So let me tell you about how I’m sure my undergraduate girly students all have crushes on me and would gladly stay after class for other lessons. Did I mention we would be doing cocaine. It’s a helluva drug you know. So yea, the barely legals and me just doing all kinds of blow in all sorts of funky positions. Just freaking going at it. Amazing shit. I had some dreams last night too. They’re were these younger girls, legal though cause I’m not a bastard or a retard, and there was this pile of cocaine. It’s a helluva drug you know. And…wait…where am I…oh shit. Did the inside thoughts come out again….I’m opening Word now….gotta keep tying….
Posted by Osrt on 05/07/09 at 12:19 PM ET
Hey Mo, Cal, Cap’n Dennis;
Enjoy the game tonight, and don’t create a ruckus.
Hi to Stacey
AND
Then next 3 goals are crucial…..
(little tribute to Mo)
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 05/07/09 at 12:20 PM ET
If you’ve not seen it, PTI on “Intent To Blow”
Posted by Jennemy of the Skate from putting the b*tches in the box on 05/07/09 at 12:22 PM ET
simply discussing the reality of the choices they make that seem to largely align with race and culture, is NOT RACIST
You’re right.
Or at least it shouldn’t be.
Put Mitch Albom’s name on Foster’s article, and watch the fur fly.
Posted by Red Winger from Sault Ste Marie on 05/07/09 at 12:23 PM ET
As I said last night, I really only see two outcomes for this game. Either we blow out the Poultry, or they blow us out.
And after what happened to Hossa in game 3, what happened to Dangle at the end of game 3, I expect it to be a blow out of the Poultry. Dangle and the Big Hoss each score 2 goals and 2 assists, Hank’s line adds a couple more, and Taz finally gets the goal he deserves. 7-0. And then we win in 6.Once the Wings win again, the Poultry won’t, so they have to win these next two games, or else their season is toast. Or more like roasted.
I was queasy heading into game 3. But tonight, I’m still infuriated, and I want vengeance. I want this team to show the world who the best in the NHL really is. And I firmly believe every player wearing Red and White, especially the guys with 13 and 81 on their backs, does as well.
LET’S GO RED WINGS! Exclafriggingmation point
Posted by Alzy from Innisfail, Alberta, Canada on 05/07/09 at 12:24 PM ET
If you are going to do imaginary coversations, at least make it funny - and using real people is even better. Loser Domi is MUCH better than Todd.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 05/07/09 at 12:32 PM ET
Nothing like racism chatter to keep us occupied ‘til the puck drops. I want to talk about how Asian Americans don’t like Doritos.
Hey Mo, Cal, Cap’n Dennis;
Enjoy the game tonight, and don’t create a ruckus.
Hi to Stacey
AND
Then next 3 goals are crucial…..
(little tribute to Mo)
HTT you sound a little more upbeat; have you not yet sworn off the NHL?
Posted by Triple Deke Tyler from Lansing on 05/07/09 at 12:33 PM ET
copulating with Detroit owner Mike Ilitch
Chief, what’s “copulating”?
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, when in doubt, pinky out on 05/07/09 at 12:34 PM ET
I was queasy heading into game 3. But tonight, I’m still infuriated, and I want vengeance.
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 05/07/09 at 12:36 PM ET
Why did you mention the Sharks up top and make me read through this garbage?
I am looking for the Chris Pronger piledriver on Datsyuk in front of the net tonight, Hiller will steal Game 5, and then a comet will drop on the entire Anaheim team before the WCF against Vancouver.
Keep the Coyotes in Phoenix and move the Wings to Canada.
Posted by PJ from San Jose on 05/07/09 at 12:40 PM ET
Okay. I live in San Diego.
Welcome to the Sucks fan zone.
I am still dealing with having ponied up my $57.00 bucks to get “Fox Sports Prime” midway thru the second period of the last game. Of course that’s on top of the NHL Center Ice package that went ...somewhere. It’s tough being a hockey fan here in America’s Fine Ass City.
All together now…..
Thanks Gary. Ass.
Posted by Rumbear from Top O da Hasek, when in doubt, pinky out on 05/07/09 at 12:40 PM ET
So a group of hockey fans walk into Terry Foster’s bar, and this happens
Posted by cephalopod from Chicago...nope, still not over it. on 05/07/09 at 12:49 PM ET
Terry Foster: The thinner, whiter, less talented version of Jason Whitlock.
Posted by HockeyinHD on 05/07/09 at 12:53 PM ET
Chief, what’s “copulating”?
Posted by Rumbear from the roof of the Hasek hitting golf balls on 05/07/09 at 01:34 PM ET
Your kidding,right? It’s fornicating.
And grin.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/07/09 at 12:57 PM ET
I’m surprised nobody here picked up on the Balsillie vs. Bettman battle. I truly believe if Balsillie is able to gain control of the club and move it through a US bankruptcy court decision we will see the end of the Bettman regime. Li’l Gary tries to rule with an iron fist, and being bitch slapped publicly by a billionaire who knows how to run a business way better than our Napoleon will be too much for Li’l Gary and the Board of Governors to handle.
If Balsillie wins, Bettman is gone. At least I have something to root for when the Wings season wraps up (with Cup #12 hopefully)
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 05/07/09 at 01:12 PM ET
HTT you sound a little more upbeat; have you not yet sworn off the NHL?
I honestly tried…
at 7:20 last night it was either turn on the games or start breathing into a paper bag.
Watched 2 complete games at once, then when the Canes went to overtime, I dozed off while both went to commercial. Missed both GWOTG. Had to yahoo the results and then highlights this morning.
Tuesday night, the bad call is something all RW fans have learned to expect. If it happened in the first….the ref’s would have given the Wings the edge for the rest of the game.
THEY OWE US BIGTIME…tonight
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 05/07/09 at 01:15 PM ET
Hey Ian!, if you’re at all interested, I went to high school with your avatar and hung out with him sometimes. Nice guy.
(Geez, first I brag about beer, now I brag about knowing famous people. Wanna ask me about the size of my penis?)
Posted by AndrewFromAnnArbor from Fortress Europe on 05/07/09 at 01:38 PM ET
I’m not going to let Foster’s stupidity taint whatever effort people are doing to mend things in a socially and economically depressed city. For all those good people in Detroit and in the Tri-County area doing the good work, keep it up.
And to Terry Foster? STFU! You’re a hack writer and a fraudulent copy of Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock. You’re nothing but a two-bit scumbag of a writer with a fake degree. F*ck off.
Posted by SYF from a "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" on 05/07/09 at 02:06 PM ET
@-Jennemy. Thanks for the link. Telling it like it is.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 05/07/09 at 02:15 PM ET
You’re a hack writer and a fraudulent copy of Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock.
... really? I thought Whitlock was actually decent (back when he was on ESPN, anyway).
I’d have compared Foster to Scoop Jackson. At least, in the “I never want to read another of his articles” again way.
Posted by shanetx on 05/07/09 at 03:48 PM ET
I was just thinking, about the whole call what you think is going to happen versus what is actually taking place. It is sort of ironic when the ref’s make up calls for what they thought they saw, interference against stuart, that great hooking call that lead to the penalty shot prior to the playoffs. They didn’t it see something and made up a call.
But when Franzen got cracked in the face with a high stick and it was obvious something happened, they didn’t make up a penaly then. The same thing happened last year in game 5 of the final. Lidstrom took a stick to the face and was bleeding and there was no penalty. If there is a time where you are going make shit up you might as well do it when there is at least some evidence to support you.
Posted by SpaceCityHockey from Houston, TX on 05/07/09 at 04:11 PM ET
Versus and only Versus? *#$%@&, guess I won’t be watching it.
Posted by JKBC on 05/07/09 at 07:33 PM ET
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This game for the family? or Gary’s game?
Posted by MarkK from Maryland on 05/07/09 at 10:51 AM ET