Abel to Yzerman
Time Killers
by IwoCPO on 05/07/09 at 11:43 AM ET
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Updated at 1154 EST with a shocking look at what Shark fans do every May and the return to A2Y of one Terry Foster.
A few ditties to help you pass the time. We’ll add to these as the day goes by, so check back from time to time. Hey. How about his game for the family? I like to call it “reasons to despise Gary Bettman.” Ready? I knew you were.
From Snapshots,
The Red Wings-Ducks TV schedule admittedly has confused me, and I’m supposed to know about these things, so, for the record: tonight’s game airs on Versus and only Versus in the United States, and TSN and only TSN in Canada.
Also from a Snapshots pointer…
...when you realize what Brad Watson is going through these days, you have to feel for him and wonder whether he’ll be appearing in the conference final games when those decisions are made by the league after his last couple of tough nights.
Yeah, I really have to feel for him. Frigging not. Pretty good article and real good digging, actually. Check this out.
He was in Vancouver with Tim Peel on a key play in Game 2 of the Vancouver-Chicago series when Kevin Bieksa was called for hooking Dustin Byfuglien though absolutely no such infraction took place, the call eventually turning into a two-man advantage on which Chicago tied the game and went on to win.
It wasn’t clear who actually made the call on that one, so let’s hope it wasn’t Watson — because in the next game he worked, he went down to Anaheim Tuesday night and appeared to pull another boner using the same technique, making the call just a little too early, seemingly anticipating something that never happened in both cases.
He did this once already, and…so let’s give him another shot to bend a team over. Awesome.
Back to the story up top. What are the odds we don’t get shafted again by Versus, Gary’s closed circuit channel? Can someone tell me, when he has his own channel in the NHL Network, why they can’t plan to start Detroit/Anaheim there, if necessary?
I’m sure, Gary…you little toad…that you have plenty of reasons why NOT.
Awww…check this little tyke out. His name’s Todd Maternowski and, like just a few others out there, he hates him some Wings.
Greetings, hockey fans: here’s hoping you were able to get to work safely today without getting elbowed in the throat by an NBA Golden Child. Last week, we fed feverishly on the fantastic foibles of the San Jose Sharks: this week, our love affair with the Anaheim Slightly Ducks continues as they bring the pain to NHL’s Public Enemy #1, the Detroit Red Wings.
Oh, the creativity doesn’t end there. Not for little Toddie. Nope. He’s got more and he’s come up with a new approach. An Albom-like fake conversation. Riveting.
Gary Bettman: “Gentlemen, we are faced with a crisis of epic proportions here, and if we do not act quickly and decisively, all is lost.”
Evil Refs: “You mean the impending CBA, the potential destructive impact of overexpansion or losing Canadian teams to the deep South?”
Bettman: “Of course not! I’m talking about how, ten minutes ago, I was copulating with Detroit owner Mike Ilitch and he refused to give me a reacharound. This abomination will not stand.”
Evil Ref #2: “Is that why we’re wearing these shrouds?”
Bettman: “As league commissioner, I have tremendous power to make or break any team as I see fit, and the responsibility to use said power at any and every opportunity. This is why I’m calling this meeting; gentlemen, we need to take down the Detroit Red Wings.”
You can guess the rest, or read it. Up to you. Or you can just skip down to the comment section. And don’t forget, we’ve seen this literary genius before.
They have no true enforcers. They ‘skate lightly’. Their forwards look ridiculous and out-of-place when they try to throw a jaw-shattering check. And an overly-physical team can beat them in a seven-game series: as long as the Stars, Ducks or Sharks play the way they can against the Wings, it’s unlikely Detroit will make it to a second-straight Cup Final. Of course, last year the Wings’ opponents tried to out-skill the Wings rather than punch them in their fat Swedish faces, and the result was the 2008 Cakewalk to the Cup.
I don’t know who Todd Maternowski is but he wrote that. Developmentally, I think he may be a bit slow. Plus, he used 8 exclamation points throughout his “article” and he looks like this.
So…yeah. Genius.
Okkaaaay. Terry Foster. I’m waffling how to handle this one and I’m just gonna lay it out there. Here’s what he wrote this morning.
Tonight’s Red Wings-Ducks game won’t be seen at Halftime Sports Bar off Greenfield on the west side of Detroit.
It won’t be showing a few miles away at another west side bar, Starters, either.
In most sports bars and taverns, the NBA will be top of mind, not the NHL. There’s more talk of LeBron and Kobe than Chris Pronger and Nicklas Lidstrom. Do hockey players go by first names? ... Nah.
I asked a woman at a greeting area what would happen if I asked the bartender to switch the television to the Red Wings game.
Good luck,” she said, laughing.
Said Halftime manager Robert Berry: “We don’t want to upset our clientele.”
So, I texted a friend, and this was her response: That’s bad for business.
In Hockeytown, there remains a giant hockey void in the black community. There is far more interest in the Lakers and Nuggets.
Tonight’s critical Game 4 can more than likely be seen at places like HockeyTown Café, Marge’s in Grosse Pointe Park and Black Finn in Royal Oak.
Not so at Halftime.
“You have to look at the location,” said Dre Sanford, a patron at Halftime. “I think this is a cultural thing. I hate to say it, but white people are more into hockey and blacks like basketball and don’t really follow the Wings. That might sound racist or something, but that is the reality of things.”
Berry said the Lions remain a big draw Sundays. But the Wings aren’t happening.
“I mean if somebody really wanted to watch them, we’d turn it on for them,” Berry said with a shrug.
First of all. Somebody FedEx Foster a Pulitzer. “...white people are more into hockey and blacks like basketball.” Whoa. Seriously? I wasn’t aware.
Here’s my question? Why? What’s the point of this story?
Foster can find a way to turn any story, at any time into a race thing. All his digging, his texting, his mid-day phone calls and empirical evidence? Oooh. You uncovered a goldmine of a story there Terry. And of course you ran it and nobody stopped you.
I wonder if the News would have stopped Wojo if he’d been idiotic enough to write a story from a hockey fan’s perspective?
Culture is culture. Nobody on either side of the fence cares if another segment of society likes our respective sport. Why does Foster?
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Welcome to Abel to Yzerman, a Red Wing blog since 1977. No other site on the internet has better-researched, fact-laden and better prepared discussions than A2Y. Re-phrase: we do little research, find facts and stats highly overrated and claim little to no preparation. There are 19 readers of A2Y. No more, no less. All of them, except maybe one, are juvenile in nature. Reminding them of that in the comment section will only encourage them to prove that. Your suggestions and critiques are welcome: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
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