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Two Reasons To Stop Dancing In The Doldrums: The JV’s In Town, And We’re Gonna Live Blog It
by IwoCPO on 10/17/09 at 04:49 PM ET
Comments (551)
Back to Zeppelin because I feel we won’t be needing Seger. We’ll break Bobby out for the big guns, but we’re not going to waste him on the also-rans and the mediocre. It would be insulting to him, to you and to me.
But I do offer you this…
I had to go out and buy BB’s Avalanche Ale to get my mind right.
I have to see the Red Wings destroyed today. I want to see their spirits crushed. I want to see their women lament the broken husks their husbands have become. I want to see all 18 of the fans in the stands crying and wiping their eyes with **** (reference to male genitalia)-shaped handkerchiefs. I want to see Joe Louis burn to the ground.
Bitter? What makes you ask that?
Naturally, that’s from the game day thread at Mile High Hockey.
“Get my mind right.” That, apparently, is the cool way to say the fans are getting pumped. As opposed to Blues fans who just lift weights before Wing games.
Redmond’s winking in 64 minutes. Be ready because we’re going all juvenilicious tonite with Hit Me Mick.
Rules are here:
Hit_Me_Mick_Rules.doc
MICK.pdf (Thanks OTC and Team Dub)
Any reference to Samuelsson will be replaced by Bertuzzi.
Speaking of the Unibomber…how funny would it be to see that big sociopathic bastard go off tonite against the little Dive?
It’s a Live Blog bitches.
Updated: here are tonite’s rules.
Bottom’s up!
The following occurrences require you finish whatever beverage you have in front of you. There can be no exceptions and no excuses. Your “partner” may not assist you.
· Mickey Redmond’s wink to open the telecast
· A Bertuzzi shot off the glass
· A fight
· A hat trick
A successful Wing penalty kill
· Any time Ken has to defend the referees or the league
· Any time Larry Murphy doesn’t finish a sentence. One of the 19 will be the official moderator tonite, determined by consensus prior to, and they will make the call on this and any other controversial decision.
· Mick says “BC two hander”
· Billy Joel’s “One, two…One, two, three, four”
· Any mention of Larry Murphy’s two-game goals, but no hat trick (NOTE: any reference to Murphy’s playing career from Ken or Mick is one drink)
take a swig!
Any time Mickey utters any of the following phrases, you must drink.
· This is no place for a nervous person
Look out!
· Hold it right there gang…or any time Mickey says “gang”
· Wait ‘til you see this replay!
· Datsyukian (Ken or Mick)
· Oh…my….goodness
· A Redmond chuckle with no explanation
· Any “new NHL” reference
· Any reference to composite sticks
· Chintzy
· Is that the rule now?
Any use of the word “rivalry”
Any mention of Patrick Roy, Peter Forsberg or Joe Sakic
Any mention of Kyle Quincey bitching about not getting a ring
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Comments
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Nice song. In th(is) Evening we’ll eat another young team alive.
And I sure want May to teach Drag-Queencey how to be recognized in Hockeytown.
Detroit 4-1, Helm scores his first regular season goal ever, May fights some bum and Quincey posts a -2.
Oh, and “all of the 18 fans”? Dive suckers…
Posted by Guilherme from Brazil on 10/17/09 at 05:09 PM ET
Awfully quiet in here, bitches. Are the 19 studying for pharmacist exams?
Posted by VooX from Behind the Bar in the Hasek Club Car on 10/17/09 at 05:30 PM ET
One of my best friends is from Colorado, and she used to be an Avs fan…but she got sick of how ridiculously immature and plain old stupid they acted, so she roots for the red and white because Wings fans at least have a semblance of class.
As they say in comic books, “Nuff said.”
Posted by George Malik from South Lyon, MI on 10/17/09 at 05:38 PM ET
Agh, I can’t play “Hit Me Mick” as I’m stuck with the Dive broadcast.
Listening to Peter McNab is like listening to nails on a chalkboard for hours…UGH.
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 10/17/09 at 05:39 PM ET
Redmond’s winking in 64 minutes.
Thanks for the encouraging words today Chief. Have you ever thought about becoming a motivational speaker? I can just imagine the words of curse. You know, like a Sailor. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/17/09 at 05:43 PM ET
15 minutes.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/17/09 at 05:45 PM ET
Sooo stoked yahoo has the game on live broadcast. Let’s go Wings.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 10/17/09 at 05:50 PM ET
I’ll be the moderator tonite. Clearly, you guys need an adult in here.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 10/17/09 at 05:51 PM ET
Also I suggest that “Look out…” be added to the take a drink list.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 10/17/09 at 05:52 PM ET
Do any of you pharmacists out there know if alcohol really makes antibiotics ineffective, or is that something the doctor tells you to ruin your weekend?
I may have to be satisfied with my bottle of codeine cough syrup tonight. Could be worse.
Posted by dougie on 10/17/09 at 05:53 PM ET
That team from the State below us lost today… imagine that.
Posted by calquake on 10/17/09 at 05:53 PM ET
Evening, 19. Can’t drink liquor, so the best I can do is caffeinated Coke Zero. Pathetic, but somehow appropriate to our Ass Can-living opponent.
Posted by Bella on 10/17/09 at 05:54 PM ET
Hola All—my day is already fuched. My alma mater lost (again) to TX.
It’s gotta get better, it just has to.
Khan says the only lineup change from the last game is May in for Eaves.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/17/09 at 05:54 PM ET
all set,
2 tv’s with a game on each.
2 netbooks, each streaming a game.
pizza, and 9 cold dark Dos Equis left from the 12 pack.
gonna be a good night.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd on 10/17/09 at 05:55 PM ET
That team from the State below us lost today… imagine that.
Posted by calquake on 10/17/09 at 06:53 PM ET
Heh…I laughed when I saw the score.
Also I suggest that “Look out…” be added to the take a drink list.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 10/17/09 at 06:52 PM ET
Please Lord no…
Posted by mrfluffy from Long Beach on 10/17/09 at 05:56 PM ET
Be back in between periods as tv not in same room as computer…sigh.
GO WINGS!!
Posted by hockeychic from Denver, CO on 10/17/09 at 05:57 PM ET
all set,
2 tv’s with a game on each.
2 netbooks, each streaming a game.
pizza, and 9 cold dark Dos Equis left from the 12 pack.
gonna be a good night.
Posted by HockeyTownTodd from Madmen is in my 19th year on 10/17/09 at 06:55 PM ET
I give you… one man’s view of heaven. And an excellent one at that.
Posted by calquake on 10/17/09 at 05:57 PM ET
Don’t call him Shirley. 
And I’m not the moderator, although I will hold the keys for all you reprobates so no one gets in trouble.
I want to see their women lament the broken husks their husbands have become.
I’m sorry, but that is just a butt-ton of stupid. Who on that team is going to be anything more than disappointed at losing the sixth game of the season? Crushed? Hah. That kind of angst should be saved for the playoffs - it’s important to pace oneself.
I can’t hate this team so much without Forsberg and Roy on it. They are so young they don’t have much personality yet. You can’t hate a vanilla blank slate as easily as a team with some history and character, good or bad.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 10/17/09 at 05:58 PM ET
Hey (exclamation point), gang.
((Read your dislike for the exclamation points, Chief.
Sorry. My mistake. I’ll try to remember from now on.))
Time for a “dive”:
GO WINGS (exclamation point x3)
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/17/09 at 05:59 PM ET
Game time. Bitches.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/17/09 at 06:00 PM ET
Aloha bitches.
Rules have been updated for tonite’s game. they’re above.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 10/17/09 at 06:00 PM ET
CBC has gone around the bend and plummeted off a cliff.
Peter Puck. Talking about how games end in a shootout after five minutes of overtime. In CANADA.
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 10/17/09 at 06:01 PM ET
Posted by stonehands-78 from the beginning ... a WingsFan, on 10/17/09 at 06:59 PM ET
Nice.
Posted by calquake on 10/17/09 at 06:01 PM ET
Ken and Mick on the Yahoo feed.
Hit me motherfucher.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 10/17/09 at 06:02 PM ET
it was either a double wink, or he had something in his eye.
Posted by Bella on 10/17/09 at 06:02 PM ET
Bella you’re not drinking. I think you should moderate. I’ve fuched it up already.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 10/17/09 at 06:02 PM ET
Craig Anderson looks like a gayer version of Marques Andrea Flowery.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 10/17/09 at 06:03 PM ET
Please Lord no…
Posted by mrfluffy from Cincy on 10/17/09 at 06:56 PM ET
Hey come on, go big or go home.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 10/17/09 at 06:04 PM ET
Bella you’re not drinking. I think you should moderate. I’ve fuched it up already.
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 10/17/09 at 07:02 PM ET
Okay, I’ll do my best sir. And when I start fuching it up, hopefully you all will be too wasted to notice.
BTW, rewound the DVR ... definitely one wink.
Posted by Bella on 10/17/09 at 06:05 PM ET
Craig Anderson looks like a gayer version of Marques Andrea Flowery.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Earth. on 10/17/09 at 07:03 PM ET
I don’t know. With those big teeth, Fleury always reminds me of a beaver. Or a capybara. Some kind of rodent, anyway.
Posted by Baroque from Michigan on 10/17/09 at 06:05 PM ET
did i miss the wink?
Posted by IwoCPO from Washington, DC on 10/17/09 at 07:01 PM ET
Yea. He did it in the first minute of the broadcast. I rewound just to see it. I love the Wink.
Lets Go Red Wings!!!!!
Posted by Kate from Pa.-made in Detroit on 10/17/09 at 06:06 PM ET
Evening all. I have my bi-annual bout of bronchitis, so I’ll be reading the LB sober. How’s the soda treating you Bella?
Posted by Aimee in Austin on 10/17/09 at 06:08 PM ET
Good job Bella. You’re a friggin trooper.
Hope all participants finished their pop with the wink.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 10/17/09 at 06:08 PM ET
Ozzie and his sparkling .884—UGH.
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/17/09 at 06:09 PM ET
Hey Craig (Anderson), you’re so bald I can read your thoughts.
Posted by calquake on 10/17/09 at 06:09 PM ET
Ah get your Foote outta your mouth
hehe
Posted by Jeff OKWingnut from Quest for 12 on 10/17/09 at 06:11 PM ET
Well there’s one old Av down, only a couple to go.
Posted by stayouttamalibu from Temporarily in Tempe, AZ on 10/17/09 at 06:11 PM ET
Was Babs just explaining to McCrimmon what defense is?
Posted by calquake on 10/17/09 at 06:11 PM ET
How’s the soda treating you Bella?
The decaf soda sucks. My kingdom for some tequila.
I forgot Foote was their captain. Asshat.
Posted by Bella on 10/17/09 at 06:12 PM ET
The only reason I laughed at that is because it’s hard to feel bad. I didn’t laugh because he got hurt. Really.
Posted by Tyler from Arizona on 10/17/09 at 06:12 PM ET
Adam Foote can eat a richard.
Posted by WingsFanInBeanLand from Lidstrom's head telling him 1 more year on 10/17/09 at 06:12 PM ET
Nice to see Foote take a puck to the face. I can say that now that he got up.
Posted by IwoCPO from Sunny San Diego, bitches on 10/17/09 at 06:12 PM ET
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In that case you should have quoted the Jonas Brothers. Or is it the Jonas Brothas these days? Who knows.
Somehow I have to believe they stole that from one of your old posts, Chief. It has a certain ring to it. You know, hatred tinged with contempt.
Posted by OlderThanChelios from Grand Rapids on 10/17/09 at 05:08 PM ET